Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Blogging…With, um, Kids?


We Mommy Bloggers get a lot of shit.

Not just because we have a dumb name (I mean, MOMMY BLOGGERS? It sounds like some sort of weird disease or exotic insult), or because we’re all angling to get free shit, but because we’re talking about our KIDS! Online! Without their consent!

(all together now)

*wrings hands*


/end hand wringing.

I get what they’re saying. I do.

If you spend all day, every day, discussing the most intimate details of your kids life, well, that’s maybe not okay. So we each do our best to write things that WILL be okay when our children stumble across them someday. I mean, as we’ve learned, the Internet is a small, small place and whatever you’ve written WILL be read eventually by the one person who you don’t want to read it.

That’s a no-brainer.

I’ve never kept what I “do” under wraps in my family. I don’t necessarily broadcast it to the small crotch parasites because they’d be just as likely to try and fart on me as they would be interested in it. But the Big One, Ben, well, he knows what I do. Sorta.

We’re doing a bullying carnival (much less cotton candy than you’d expect) on Saturday over on Band Back Together. Basically, this means we’re collecting as many bullying posts as we can find (join us, y’all!) to offer as many different perspectives on bullying as possible. This comes on the heels of the tragic suicides of a couple of kids after repeated, intense bullying.

I asked my son to write for us.

He’s been the victim of numerous bullies in his short ten years. If anyone knows how a bully makes them feel, it’s Ben.

Last night, I sat him down and asked him to write 5 paragraphs for us over at the Band about bullies.

He. Was. Thrilled.

And he did it.

What I got was one of the sweetest, awesomest things I’ve ever read. What I also got were questions about what it was, precisely, that Mom does. He knows I’m a “writer” and I have a “blog,” but I haven’t really discussed my other projects with him. I explained what Band Back Together was and how we ran things and the stigmas we were trying to combat.

He thought it was the coolest thing ever.

I, of course, was bowled over. I figured he’d think it was “lame” or “stupid” or something, but no. He thinks it’s great. I know. I KNOW. What. The. Fuck? I thought kids were supposed to hate whatever their parents did. Maybe I’m doing this parenting thing wrong – perhaps I need to become an assassin or something to fill the kid with angst.

When he was done with his bullying post, he told me, very sweetly, that any time I needed him to write a post, he’d be happy to help out.

I actually had to fight back tears. We all three (me, Ben, The Daver) did. What an awesome kid.


Guess that means all that hand-wringing was in vain.


Fill in the blank?


42 Comments to

“Blogging…With, um, Kids?”

  1. On November 30th, 2011 at 10:40 am Rachel of the Cosmos Says:

    Won’t somebody THANK of the children?!

  2. On November 30th, 2011 at 10:44 am angi Says:

    This is one of the sweetest things I have read…and since the band is open to everything. Maybe I’ll ask my son tonight…to write his own essay on bullying. He’s been there. He’s already writing his first book…why not open up his mind to what his words can help people do. I love this, Aunt Becky. I hope, a submission will be coming your way from my son.

  3. On November 30th, 2011 at 10:54 am Rebecca Says:

    Maybe we should think of the wombats. Or the bears?

  4. On November 30th, 2011 at 5:23 pm Lisa Says:

    Or maybe WombatBears? WHAT? They real..I promise!

  5. On December 1st, 2011 at 12:05 am Miss Adventure Says:

    Wombats. We should always be thinking of the wombats.

  6. On December 1st, 2011 at 7:11 am Wombat Central Says:

    Did somebody say Wombats?!

  7. On December 1st, 2011 at 8:43 am DiatribesAndOvations Says:

    They’re the big groundhogs with Aussie accents, right?

  8. On December 2nd, 2011 at 10:48 pm Miss Adventure Says:

    Yes. I am thinking of you, wombats! (If WordPress lets me publish and doesn’t tell me I’m “posting too fast”…wtf?! First thing I’ve posted today, THANK YOU!)

  9. On November 30th, 2011 at 10:56 am SarahBee Says:

    Awesome. <3 you, Ben!

  10. On November 30th, 2011 at 11:00 am jtook Says:

    Wow. Just wow.

  11. On November 30th, 2011 at 11:47 am Grace Says:

    Ben is such an amazing kid! But who WOULDN’T think Band Back Together is a great thing??

  12. On November 30th, 2011 at 11:54 am Mayor Gia Says:

    WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE WINE? The innocent wine!

  13. On November 30th, 2011 at 1:41 pm Ali Says:

    THE WINE! ……I couldn’t come up with a better one myself. Except in Aunt Becky’s case it’s “Won’s Someone Think of the Vodka!”

  14. On November 30th, 2011 at 2:08 pm Elly Lou Says:

    I think I want wine. Does that count?

  15. On November 30th, 2011 at 8:31 pm Mayor Gia Says:

    Of course!

  16. On November 30th, 2011 at 11:56 am Leanne Shirtliffe Says:

    Love that boy.

    Won’t someone think of cleaning my bathrooms for me? (Sorry, just thought I’d ask. Or vent.)

  17. On November 30th, 2011 at 12:20 pm Pete In Az Says:


  18. On December 1st, 2011 at 2:51 pm Txtingmrdarcy Says:


    Clearly with such smart, sweet children, Aunt Becky needs to start devoting more time to Zombies. Mommyblogger my ass.

    ZOMBIEBLARGING is the new MommyBlogging.

  19. On November 30th, 2011 at 12:29 pm Carly Says:

    So my eyes *may* have wanted to leak a little just from reading that story about his story… this does not bode well for actually reading his story.
    Maybe he couldn’t understand your awesomeness as an infant, but now clearly gets it. Seems like he’s just going in reverse order, which in my opinion, seems like it would be much better to have a pre-teen liking me than not!
    Looking forward to reading what he has to say about bullying and hopefully more in the future from him!


  20. On November 30th, 2011 at 12:57 pm MarsupialMama Says:

    This post really made me smile! Way to go Ben!! **wanders off to BBT while wringing hands**

  21. On November 30th, 2011 at 1:06 pm nikkiana Says:

    That just make me crack a big smile. 🙂

  22. On November 30th, 2011 at 1:07 pm Rebecca Says:

    Won’t somebody think of the fruit cakes? The poor fruit cakes all alone on the shelves, full of dust and used as door stops which are mocked by the other cakes; you’ve got angel cake, chocolate cake, red velvet cake, black forest cake, bunt cake, carrot cake, cheesecake, coffee cake, devils food, gooey butter, pound cake, and especially that smug jerk Birthday Cake

  23. On November 30th, 2011 at 3:24 pm Kmarrs Says:

    Muffins. Pretty sure we need to think of the muffins.

  24. On November 30th, 2011 at 4:44 pm Brandon Says:

    I, personally, want to make sure we’re thinking of the Bacon. Someone needs to… who better than us lot.

    Big props to Ben, and big props to you for giving him a chance. Too often we parents think our kids have nothing of value to add to a conversation, and too often we are proved wrong. Go Ben go!

  25. On November 30th, 2011 at 5:36 pm Aimee Giese | Greeblemonkey Says:

    There is no doubt Declan will start writing on my blog soon, and Bryan is very close. It will be a family blog, soon.

    So glad your son shared that with you. Awesome.

  26. On November 30th, 2011 at 5:47 pm Ami Says:

    Awwwwww! Dammit I’ve got something in my eye now *sniff*

  27. On November 30th, 2011 at 6:48 pm Andrea Says:

    That is far more touching than what I stumbled upon (yup, just innocently stumbled) when I found my 14 year old’s blog (I get it that it’s cool to complain about your mom, but it didn’t feel cool being that mom)….Maybe somebody could think of the PARENTS, if not then wine would be swell, and chocolate!

  28. On November 30th, 2011 at 7:21 pm Rebekah Says:

    Won’t someone THINK OF THE MOMMY.

  29. On November 30th, 2011 at 11:01 pm Kristin Says:

    I think it’s incredibly cool that Ben wrote a post. I wonder if I can get my oldest to write one on that subject?

  30. On December 1st, 2011 at 12:07 am Miss Adventure Says:

    Think of the crocodiles. Because they need kisses too. (CBeebies has rotted my brain and I don’t even have the Things to blame this on…I did it to myself.) Snip-a-dile, snap-a-dile, very scary crocodiles who just want mommies to love them. We should think of them.

  31. On December 1st, 2011 at 7:12 am Wombat Central Says:

    Beaker? Because doesn’t he always make you feel betterz?

  32. On December 1st, 2011 at 8:44 am DiatribesAndOvations Says:

    Won’t someone think of the Junior Mints?!

    You most certainly are NOT doing the parenting thing wrong! Ben’s got a freakin’ AWESOME mommy and he’s going to be freakin’ AWESOME. Too! Lucky parasite …

  33. On December 1st, 2011 at 11:33 am km Says:

    I must be the only dumbass who can’t find Ben’s story on BBT. linkage for the grey-matter-impaired?

  34. On December 1st, 2011 at 11:34 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I’ll send you the link on Saturday. It’ll go live sometime during the day. He’s SO excited! And guess what? Got another kid who wrote out HIS story! So rad!

    Love you!

  35. On December 1st, 2011 at 4:04 pm km Says:

    OH! OK, it’s not out there to find….I was starting to doubt my google-fu!

    And special treatment not necessary…I can check back monday.

  36. On December 1st, 2011 at 12:07 pm Chrisinphx Says:

    WHORES!…..Wont anybody please think of the WHORES!!!!!!!!1!!

  37. On December 1st, 2011 at 12:15 pm Candice Says:

    I can’t wait until my four year old can write! I already think he’s a lil Confucius. Until he goes and tries to eat his boogers. Would love to read what your son wrote.

  38. On December 1st, 2011 at 2:45 pm Di Says:

    Won’t somebody think of the 10-year-olds as “big kids” already? I have been bowled over by 10-year-olds (figuratively, most of the time) on NUMEROUS occasions. They might even be my favourite-year-olds.

  39. On December 1st, 2011 at 8:18 pm kay Says:

    I was hoping you’d post a link to his post! please do when it’s available, if it doesn’t need to remain anonymous for his privacy.

  40. On December 1st, 2011 at 8:57 pm School Snippets: Stuff that made me smile today | It's Dilovely Says:

    […] if you’d enjoy another example of how much the youngsters rock the casbah, try reading Blogging…With, um, Kids?, by Aunt Becky. You’ll like […]

  41. On December 2nd, 2011 at 1:18 am Ewokmama Says:

    I love Ben big time. I told him he can come visit me in SF anytime and I totally meant it. He is one rad fucking kid, man! Pretty sure you’re doing SOMETHING right. 😉

  42. On December 2nd, 2011 at 5:41 pm April K. Says:

    So happy to hear that your addressing bullying over at Band. It’s a huge issue in our house – not because my kids are currently being bullied or are bullies (because they know I’d kill them if they ever bullied anyone) – but because my husband was bullied for YEARS in elementary school and middle school – to the point of being beaten to a pulp several times a week. It got so bad that he started carrying a lead pipe in his backpack “just in case”. He’s now working with our local elementary/middle/high school on developing an all inclusive program about bullying that will be “target specific” for parents, teachers, administrators, kids, etc. I’ll make sure to have him check out what gets posted on Band, too…and YAY for Ben for stepping up and telling his story.

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