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Blatantly False Advertising


The more I thought about the depression critters, the more I realized that they were another example of false advertising. Which is bullshit.

Here are what OTHER campaigns tell me.

This depression ad is supposed to say:

But what it REALLY says is:

But…is it just for us wickedly depressed folks? Nope. Not so much.

Take this Geiko Ad, which is supposed to say:

But what it REALLY says is:

And one of my all-time favorite campaigns:

Actually says:

And a personal favorite. Who can resist those Charmin Bears?

Yet, what this REALLY says to me is this:

What about this Chick-Fil-A billboard?

It’s supposed to say:

What it REALLY says is this:

And who out there could forget this favorite?

Which, much as I hate to say it, says THIS:

So, Pranksters, what other commercials out there lie?

26 Comments to

“Blatantly False Advertising”

  1. On January 6th, 2012 at 12:15 pm ande davis Says:

    I just get “Ad people are pedophiles” from that last one.

    Don’t go hating on the dog. Maybe she was holding out on some Snausages. Kids shove crap everywhere.

  2. On January 6th, 2012 at 12:33 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Bwahahahahah! Fucking kids.

  3. On January 6th, 2012 at 12:16 pm nikkiana Says:

    I totally agree that dogs are perverts.

  4. On January 6th, 2012 at 12:34 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Dogs like food. And like to watch you have sex. Or is that cats?

  5. On January 6th, 2012 at 12:20 pm Mayor Gia Says:

    Hmmm… those viagra commercials with the old couples. They’re supposed to be saying “yaaay old people can get their freak on.” Instead they say “Watch out ladies. Even when you’re old that horndog you married isn’t going to give you a break’

  6. On January 6th, 2012 at 12:34 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    So I tried to find that one. All I got were images of fucking diseased crotches.

  7. On January 6th, 2012 at 12:43 pm Mayor Gia Says:

    Hahah. I’d google too but I’m at work…

  8. On January 6th, 2012 at 12:32 pm Teala Says:

    Every last damn one of them. Trojan condoms: my sex isn’t fabulous every time, and neither of us look like models. McDonald’s (any fast food place): our food won’t kill you…now…but just wait and see. TJ Maxx/Ross/Marshalls: we’re too lazy to actually have great stuff at low prices, so we just go with the bullshit or fugly stuff at more than you should pay for them.

  9. On January 6th, 2012 at 12:34 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Bwahahahahahaha. “this is the crap no one else wants.”

  10. On January 6th, 2012 at 12:33 pm Lori (aka Bubbe) Says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Gia, I LOVE your comment! “horndog”! snort! chuckle! choke! (Wipes tears away and gets up off floor.)

  11. On January 6th, 2012 at 12:35 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I love you.

  12. On January 6th, 2012 at 12:47 pm TheBeerLady Says:

    The ‘feminine hygiene product’ commercial that says “Have a happy period!” Seriously? And I’m pretty sure I don’t have to explain my loathing of that one – I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman who doesn’t think it’s simply ridiculous. Obviously a man came up with THAT ad campaign.

    And along the same lines, one that I haven’t seen lately – the tampon commercials with the tagline “out of sight, out of mind.” OK, dude (and obviously that’s another ad campaign that a guy came up with), tell you what. Let me stick a wad of cotton & polyester fibers up YOUR ass without lube and tell me how damn out of mind that is.

    And last but not least, another I haven’t seen lately, but those damned Viagra commercials with the guys singing “Viva Viagra” instead of “Viva Las Vegas.” Because every time I saw one of those, my mind makes connections: “Viva Las Vegas” = Elvis = Elvis+Viagra = Old fat Elvis+Viagra = there’s a thought that will make you want to never have sex again.

  13. On January 6th, 2012 at 12:49 pm alaina Says:

    i like the ads for new drugs that talk about how much they will help you and then quickly list all of the very unhelpful side effects at the end. “May cause……and in some cases DEATH”. Sign me up!

  14. On January 6th, 2012 at 1:52 pm Brandy @ Momwich Says:

    Oh my gosh, I’m laughing out loud while home alone which makes me feel ridiculous but it’s so true and so funny! 🙂

  15. On January 6th, 2012 at 2:40 pm HeatherS Says:

    Aunt Becky,
    I don’t think you misinterpreted the toilet paper commercial at all…I think the point was that no one likes toilet paper that gets stuck to your ass and their tp won’t…at least I thought this was that company’s cute way of saying it…I also like, “Let’s get serious about what happens in the bathroom,” Yes, let’s. Does your husband leave shit on the toilet seat 3 hours after you cleaned it, too? And what’s with the cialysis bathtub in the woods commercials? When you’re husband finally gets wood, you can enjoy yourself taking twin baths in a forest for foreplay….with your clothes on!
    Viva Viagara makes me laugh for the pur absurdity of it. It reminds of an SNL commercial and then I remember it’s a REAL commercial and that is even funnier!

  16. On January 7th, 2012 at 8:25 pm Mrs. One Day Says:

    Shouldn’t they be in the SAME bathtub if they are so horny now that they have Cialis? I’ve always wondered why they are in separate tubs. That dude must have one powerful schlong to go through two tubs to get to his clearly in the mood woman.

  17. On January 6th, 2012 at 4:49 pm Caroline Says:

    I am so thrilled to recognize that our insane conversation was fuel for this post. Charmin bear ass chunks are disgusting.

  18. On January 6th, 2012 at 5:39 pm Elizabeth Says:

    The magazine ad where the cat is crossing his legs bc the litter box doesn’t smell so he can’t find it. It really says “we don’t have a clue about cats bc they will totally piss on your bed/laundry/carpet”. And really who wants a product that the intended user can’t figure out?

  19. On January 6th, 2012 at 8:57 pm Rebecca Says:

    HA! This is great. You know what advertizing KILLED me this winter? The guys in swimsuits outside of Abercrombie at the mall. Tooooo much for me.

  20. On January 7th, 2012 at 12:09 am Kristin Says:

    The Budweiser Frog commercials fucking LIED. I have yet to see a talking frog…except for that one in the cartoon that sang “Hello my baby, hello, my darlin, hello my ragtime gal…” or did it sing something else entirely?

  21. On January 7th, 2012 at 12:40 pm SharleneT Says:

    I’m going to lump in all the commercials that show grown men/women doing the very things at the table that we teach our children are inappropriate — like drinking from your soup plate, etc. grrrrr No question, these are male-created ads that show you just how clued in to the real world they aren’t! Will some of you young women PULEEZE go into advertising so that we can get intelligent ads? Thank you And, come visit when you can.

  22. On January 7th, 2012 at 12:43 pm Annie Says:

    I watched a commercial last night about acne and how you should ask your doctor if this drug with a million side effects including cancer and stillborn children could be right for you. WTF?

  23. On January 7th, 2012 at 12:59 pm Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd Says:

    What I find disturbing about the toilet paper bears is the fact they have to use bears because they can’t show close-ups of real human asses with toilet paper pieces all over them. That’s all I think about when I see them.

  24. On January 9th, 2012 at 2:28 pm Coleen Says:

    All the “if you don’t buy these tires/headlights/cereal/toy/other random thing, then you don’t love your children” commercials kind of piss me off, too

  25. On January 14th, 2012 at 12:30 am Sarcasm Goddess Says:

    That bear looks like he’s trying to shove a football up his ass. Advertisers are sick fucks.

  26. On January 23rd, 2012 at 1:42 pm LinzD Says:

    The Lexus commercials drive me NUTS! “yaaayyy!!! a car we can’t afford the INSURANCE for, let alone the payments… for Christmas!” If my husband bought me a Lexus for ANY holiday, I’d probably leave him, hahaha

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