Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Because The Real Reason I Had Kids Was To Buy All The Stuff My Parents Wouldn’t Buy Me


I’m sorry that I know that I was a late in life OOPS baby and that I was conceived on Halloween* because really, what kid wants to know that stuff? The bonus to that, I guess, is that my parents weren’t exactly living in an abandoned barn by the time I was popped out, and while I didn’t didn’t have a safe full of golden coins and jewels that I could swim around in, I don’t remember going without.

My petitions, though, to build a safe full of golden coins and jewels were repeatedly denied as were my petitions to buy a Rolls Royce and re-carpet the whole house in mink. While they preferred teak and understated mahogany, I liked tinsel and glitter. I would have made an excellent glam rocker had I been able to tease my hair or have it ever hold a curl.

When I was 4 or 5, I decided that what my wee heart desired for Christmas more than anything else was actually something normal. Which, for me, is saying a lot. Instead of asking for a tiara with actual diamonds or my own phone line, I asked for a train set. A wooden train set.

My mother was a hippie tomboy and in hindsight, I’m shocked that she didn’t latch onto the idea and go running with it. I’d have thought that my normal requests of wearing princess dresses and patent leather shoes had left her weak-kneed enough that this should have been her cue to try and convert me to the Other Side, but no.

For some reason no.

Not for my birthday that July either.

Or for the next Christmas. Or my next birthday.

I’d play with the sets that they had at the toy stores that my mother brought me to, and sadly leave them behind when we left. By the time I turned 8, my grandfather bought me an electric train set which I fell in love with. But, I broke it because I am the reason we can’t have nice things.

Turns out that my mom has been feeling kinda guilty about not buying me that train set all of those years ago and I never forgot how much I wanted a train set. When Ben was younger, she’d bought him some parts of a train set, but he never really played, well, okay, I’m just going to say it because then you guys can shock and gasp, HE NEVER REALLY PLAYED WITH TOYS.

Okay, go ahead. The kid didn’t play with toys until he had a brother who played with toys. NOW they BOTH play with toys.

So now, for Christmas, they are going to wake up to this:

We Are Suckers

This is me, fulfilling my childhood dream through my children through my mother’s bank account.

Next up, EZ Bake Oven, which my mother claimed was stupid because it “cooked the cake with a light bulb**” and a Power Wheels. Because if I can’t live vicariously through my children, WHAT GOOD ARE THEY?

I mean, besides to make do the annoying chores that I don’t want to do myself.

Did you have any toys that you didn’t get as a kid that you plan on buying your own kids? Or are you a better person than I am that can rise above material urges?

Also, you should join my group Aunt Becky’s Band of Merry Pranksters (turns out you DON’T have to be my friend, just join my group) over at The Savvy Source and enter to win Stef’s book by leaving me a comment here. Because OBVIOUSLY.

*if I were goth, can you imagine how awesome I’d feel? I would SO rock the black eyeliner and be all morosely “it’s in my blood” when people made comments about listening to The Cure’s Disintegration for the 30th time in a row.

**That IS kinda dumb.

213 Comments to

“Because The Real Reason I Had Kids Was To Buy All The Stuff My Parents Wouldn’t Buy Me”

  1. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:43 am Elly Lou Says:

    Oh how I pined for the EZ Bake oven. Who cares how it worked? Sometimes a gal just needs easy access to baked goods! And ponies.

  2. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:30 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I never wanted a pony! I know, WTF? I should get my vagina removed for that.

  3. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:44 am swirl girl Says:

    My parents told the me the reason they kept having kids was so they could continue to pre-board airplanes.

    Is it no wonder I turned out like I did?

  4. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:30 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I THINK OUR PARENTS MUST BE RELATED. That is SO something mine would say.

  5. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:44 am Aimee @ Ain't Yo Mama's Blog Says:

    It’s all about living vicariously through our kids. I only have one and I spoil him rotten even though he’s only 2 and could care less about anything other than a paper towel roll or a pile of dirt. But, I hear you. I, too, want all the cool stuff that I never had or I did have but had to share with my brother and sister.

    Oh, and I did have the EZ Bake Oven, but the cakes tasted like crap. You didn’t miss out. =)

  6. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:29 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Don’t tell me it tastes bad! Now I am forever going to cry!

    *runs away sobbing*

  7. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:45 am christina Says:

    I asked for a Barbie Kitchen EVERY year for Christmas from about age 6 to 12. I never got it and was eventually told I was “too old” to be asking for Barbie toys. Guess whose kids now have nearly every piece of Barbie furniture and playset ever made? Oh yeah.

  8. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:01 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:


  9. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:56 am a Says:

    If I just kept supplying my daughter with more and more stuffed animals and DVDs, she would be very happy. Otherwise, toys get her attention for approximately 35 seconds at a time.

    I can’t even remember the things I asked for but never got, so I don’t really have to live vicariously through her. I do, however, remember waking up to a room full of presents on Christmas and feel very guilty when she has 3 gifts and a stocking from Santa & me. Of course, there were twice as many people in my family (Mom, Dad, 4 kids) as there are now (Me, Husand, Daughter), so that may have something to do with it.

  10. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:01 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Oh, I’m sure she thinks that’s great. Kids don’t care.

  11. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:58 am Karyn Says:

    We ADORED our EZ bake. We made hideously awful “cakes”. They were raw in the middle and disgusting, but my dad ate every one we brought him, and asked for more. He loved em. And making his girls smile. πŸ™‚ I totally recommend it.

  12. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:31 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Awww. That’s going to be SO MUCH FUN. I cannot WAIT.

  13. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:58 am Fawn - Like A Deer Says:

    So yeah. I can’t remember ever NOT getting what I wanted for Christmas, except for the year I asked for a keyboard and got a typewriter, because my dad is adorably clueless. Christmas was and still is a HUGE deal for my mom. My folks didn’t have a lot of money, but we always had a huge pile of gifts on Christmas morning. My very favorite gift ever was a Donnie & Marie turntable that had a microphone attached so I could actually SING along WITH THE RECORD. Oh. Em. Gee. I was in heaven. But as a single mom of four, I’ve been known to skip paying bills just so my kids get what THEY want for Christmas. It’s not easy but I can’t bear the thought of them NOT getting what they want…yanno?

  14. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:31 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    No, I totally get that. I was so poor the first couple Christmases I had Ben, it killed me. Which was especially stupid that it bothered me because the kid really didn’t give a shit about toys.

    I don’t even know what the Hot Toys are this year.

  15. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:02 pm The Mommy Says:

    Ah, the EZ Bake. I always wanted one. I have a cousin (who is more like a niece) and when she was finally old enough for me to buy her one for Christmas? Yeah, her dad developed diabetes and they asked I not get it. Damn. But my girls will have one. Soon. I guess I am just like you.

    And, for the record, most boys’ toys are waaaay cooler than most of the girls’ stuff. I LOVE our train table. And my daughter has her own set of track.

  16. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:28 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Now, I noticed that they happen to have this really rockin’ like Ace of Cakes decorating set at the store. It’s like the EZ Bake on CRACK. You may see ME one year buying it for myself like a freak.

    That could make a good photo blog…

  17. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:02 pm melanie Kerton Says:

    gosh I cant remember not getting what I wanted either, but I know that we didn’t have a lot as kids so our wish lists probably weren’t for too terribly much. This year I am spending more on my son that I have in the past, he is 4 1/2 and I had hoped that I had another year or two before electronics caught his attention, but having an older cousin who he sees daily (ie they act like brother and sister) have the wheels going already. My poor daughter (18 mths) we are just stumped on…. every “good” idea I have given to relatives, and heck she is at the age where tissue paper is just the best stuff ever!!!! Can poor baby girl ask that her hair grow in faster????

  18. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:27 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    My small ones like Solo Cups (the red ones that you got at keggers) and straws. It’s HILARIOUS.

  19. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:04 pm tysdaddy Says:

    One Christmas, the only thing I wanted was a Stretch Armstrong. And somehow I got it. Only my sister took a knife to it and within days it was an oozing mess of crap.

    I know they make something similar these days, but nothing would beat an original Stretch Armstrong . . .

  20. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:24 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Remember how awesome Micro Machines were? I would TOTALLY buy those for my kids!

    Stretch Armstrong was The Shit.

  21. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:33 pm tysdaddy Says:

    Better yet was his kick-ass green nemesis. Now THAT one is expensive . . .

  22. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:34 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Wait…he had a nemesis? HOW DID I FORGET THAT? Really?

  23. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:11 pm Delisha Says:

    I buy anything and everything I can for my brother that I could not get growing up. It’s a habit I can’t seem to break, and it’s always the things my parents couldn’t afford or thought was extremely stupid for a girl

  24. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:24 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Oh yes! It’s interesting how that works. Then I look at things like that skateboard thingy that seems to be The Thing for kids and I’m like WHY WOULD KIDS WANT THAT and then I realize how old I am. GAH.

  25. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:15 pm Melissa Says:

    Ugh, I remember one year asking for a calculator. (I was probably in the 3rd grade or so). And me mum got me a thing that made me do math! A LEARNING GAME. Not something that would help me with my horrible to this day math skills. And no, I didnt play with the thing lol. I was royally pissed off.

  26. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:23 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    My parents were MASTERS of “learning” toys well before it was in vogue to buy those for kids. I see the wooden toys that they sell now and I shudder and remember how I longed for plastic toys when I’d get blocks of stupid wooden toys. HA.

  27. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:15 pm Allie Says:

    That’s so funny because that is the exact reason I got my son a power wheels car, I always wanted one when I was a kid. My cousin had one but there was no way my parents could afford one. So a couple of years ago I bought my son a Lightning McQueen power wheels, he played with it maybe 10 times and then it just sat there until a neighbor offered me $75 for it and then it was gone.

  28. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:22 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I’m kinda worried that this is what will happen to the train table. I’m hoping that with three of them ONE will play with it. Or, at least, I WILL.

  29. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:15 pm Kristine Says:

    My Mom wouldn’t buy me the EZ bake oven because “we have an oven and if you want to make a cake, we’ll make a real one that more than one person can eat.”

  30. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:21 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    OH EM GE my mom said the SAME THING. But then she wouldn’t let me bake in our oven! So, it was a LIE! Ha!

  31. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:17 pm Estela Says:

    I wanna buy an EZ bake oven for my daughter NOW! And she’s only 7 months!

  32. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:20 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I nearly bought Alex a Power Wheels when he was born (I was poor when Ben was a baby) but Dave talked me out of it. I’m thinking his third birthday? Also, is there a weight limit? I’m wondering if I can maybe take it for a cruise…

    (would that be weird?)

  33. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:19 pm MinivanSoapbox Says:

    Well it’s not so much because I didn’t get one – but it’s that she isn’t old enough yet – and won’t stop putting things in her mouth – but I can’t wait to buy her a Barbie Doll DreamHouse! Granted I’ll have to mortgage the house to do it…But YEA! I LOVED my Dream House!

  34. On December 10th, 2009 at 3:59 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Dude. BARBIE DREAM HOUSE. I’m quivering. I WAS NOT ALLOWED BARBIES. At all. Like any. Ever.

    Hippies! Damn hippies!

  35. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:24 pm Rebecca Says:

    We have a very similar set from the same company. My kids never touch it…….but when we go to the stores we have to peal their little fingers off the trains and drag them out of the store

  36. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:06 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That is totally what I’m afraid of.

  37. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:26 pm Marissa Says:

    I was born on Halloween as an oops baby (last out of SEVEN) that was suspiciously conceived when my dad was out of town. My mom insists that isn’t the case but I’m seeking therapy.

    I asked for my own phone line every Christmas from the time I was 10 until I turned 14, when I received my own phone (no seperate line included) that was ripped from the wall exactly one day after I hooked it up because I was on it after 9PM.

    I now have two boys and I pretty much get them what they want for Christmas because they don’t ask for anything too over the top. I mean.. my 9 year old asked for copy paper this year. COPY PAPER!! I love that child.

    Then my daughter came along and I am definitely re-living my childhood through her. She is getting an EZ bake oven this year and pretty much everything else girly I can get my hands on.

  38. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:07 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Ben asked for….

    ….a small mini thing of HAND SANITIZER.

    I died. Seriously, I did. I was all, YOU ARE NOT MY CHILD.

  39. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:26 pm Shannon Kieta Says:

    I have a question: How do you get people to read your blog? I started a blog awhile ago and stopeed blogging for a long time because I have no fucking friends! Boohoo! πŸ™ So, I said, Fuck it! I am going to do it for ME! And started to blog again everyday and STILL have no responses. Just curious how you get soooo many people to follow you, I mean I know you are the bomb and are funny as shit, but am I doing something wrong, or am I that mundane that no one wants to read my stuff?
    Now…back to YOUR blog…
    WHen I was a little girl, I had all Barbie stuff! Dream house, corvette, Ken and all the fixings. I even had the teeny, tiny Barbie baby. I used to shove it up Barbie’s dress and pretend she was pregnant! The one thing I always wanted but never got was a BIG-ASS kitchen set. Soooo, this year, I bought Abbie a BIG-ASS Step 2 fucking $325.00 kitchen set.(Which is probably why I never got one!) It has a light above the oven that actually works and a cordless phone on the side wall that comes off so you can pretend your talking. It comes with all the pots and pans and I even got her the real-life metal shopping cart. Yeah baby! I(She)is going to have so much fun playing with that! I can’t wait to see the look on her face! Ho! Ho! Ho!

  40. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:31 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It took me months to get anyone to put their eyeballs on my blog–months of diligent daily commenting on THEIR blogs–and still, people didn’t come.

    It took a year for anyone REALLY to visit, and another to get anywhere close to having readership. So, I guess what I’m saying is that it takes FOREVER unless you get press for something. Like making a sweater out of kittens or something.

  41. On December 11th, 2009 at 12:09 pm Coco Says:

    Aww, Shannon, I would be more than happy to give you some blog love, but your linky to your blog is borked.

    Hit us up with the site addy and I’ll stop by. πŸ˜€

  42. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:30 pm Brooke Says:

    I don’t remember not getting stuff as a kid, but I wanted a rifle when I was 17. Like really badly. I had friends that had them (in high school!) and we’d go camping and shooting. I apparently felt like I was missing out. Never in a million years will I buy my kids a rifle, and in hindsight, I want to ask our parents what they were thinking sending 17-year-olds out into the woods with guns.

    I did have a Power Wheels, you should totally get your kid one. But not the tricyle one like I had. Get them a ballsy Jeep that can actually climb shit and go faster than the Daver can walk.

  43. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:32 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Oh, if my kids ask for a rifle, I’ll be laughing as I send them…off….uh, somewhere else.

    And Alex is SO getting a Power Wheels. And my fat butt is SQUEEZING into it!

  44. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:31 pm gaylin Says:

    When I was 8 in 1967 I really wanted a Barbie, in those days there weren’t many different Barbies so any one of them would do. I got Skipper . . . Many of you may not remember Skipper, she was Barbies little sister and was smaller so the Barbie clothes didn’t fit her. I was the little sister so I got the little sister doll, my mom thought that was so cute. NOT! Dammit I wanted a Barbie.
    But I also got my own bike that year, so that took the sting out of getting Skipper.
    I learned to be very good at ‘present happy face’ over the years. You got me this lovely piece of crap, aw thanks.
    I didn’t have kids but I have friends with 3 girls, I bought 2 Barbies this year! Whoopee! They are all wrapped and ready to go.

  45. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:33 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I wasn’t allowed to have Barbies. No, really, I wasn’t. Never had one unless my friend had one that I played with.


  46. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:36 pm daisybv2 Says:

    Well I never really didnt not get something that I wanted, but The American Girl dolls came out and I LOVED them but at that point was a bit too old so I never asked for one.

    My daughter had a bitty baby at Age one, and now has 4 american girl dolls total every year we go downtown and she gets to pick one doll and one outfit with Grandmas Credit card in tow….

    I at first with Christmas went WAYYYY over board, one year I had bought her so much stuff that I was still finding things by June that I never even gave her. I have calmed it down a bit, but then this is my sons first Christmas and I went crazy once again…. I look at it this way it is not like I am going broke to by presents, I will do what I want.

  47. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:39 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    *rubs hands together*

    American Girl Dolls! OOOOH! I cannot wait! OOOH!

  48. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:37 pm joann Mannix Says:

    EZ Bake oven is the bomb! Every girl needs to have one!

    I never got the pony I begged for. But, I can’t cave into a pony. Just way too much work and hay involved.

    I did do sort of the same thing when it came to food. I was never allowed to have sugary cereals growing up-not so much for nutritious reasons but for economic ones. I fed my kids any sugary cereal they wanted from the time they were old enough to eat sugar. The rest of their diet is chock full of veggies and whole grains and all the good stuff, but the Cookie Crisp and Cap’n Crunch are free-flowing at my house.

  49. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:41 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You know, the more I know you, the more I like you.

  50. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:40 pm daisybv2 Says:

    Oh and by the way I think Mimi needs the Cadiallc Escalade power wheels for her bday!

  51. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:41 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I did promise her a Porsche if she lived. So maybe I will.

  52. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:41 pm stacey@Havoc&Mayhem Says:

    I wanted an EZ bake oven and a Baby Alive. I never got either one. Both were ‘too messy’ and I lived in a home that, apart from my bedroom, looked as if it were expecting the photographers from House Beautiful to arrive at any minute. My parents take ‘neat and clean’ to a whole new level & nothing messy was allowed in the house.

  53. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:50 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    My mom bought me wooden dolls. We should get together and buy shitty plastic dolls and make a huge mess.

  54. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:41 pm Doc Says:

    Thomas the Tank engine toys are all the rage at my house too… Christmas morning will be like Im a kid again too!

  55. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:51 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Isn’t it going to be so fun?

    *sighs happily*

  56. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:43 pm Vinomom Says:

    Just to show you how materialistic I am, I will convey my shock and dismay that you asked for something for six years and never got it.

    When we had our hearts set on something as kids, we always got it. I really can’t think of a Christmas that I didn’t get something incredibly awesome. One year Santa brought me cable TV in my room! (the elves are very quiet installers)

    That train set is fucking BAD-ASS Aunt Becky, absolutely BAD-ASS.

  57. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:52 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I’m so pumped about it dude! SO PUMPED!

  58. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:48 pm mepsipax Says:

    Although I was poorer than… well really poor people, there is nothing I wanted to buy for my kids that I didn’t get. Most of the things I didn’t get were fads anyway or stuff my kid is not into. Well, non hand me down clothes don’t count. But, I never got to buy my kid a big wheel. I loved it, but when he was old enough to ride it we didn’t live in an area conducive to big wheel riding. How sad.

  59. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:53 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Big Wheels. Oh, those were so much fun. I think I didn’t get one of those until I was probably a little too big for it, but those yeah. I wonder if they still make them.

  60. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:49 pm Daffodil Campbell Says:

    For the very first christmas of my married life, my husband gave me an easy bake oven and a snoopy sno cone machine.

    I guess I had mentioned a few times that I NEVER GOT ANYTHING COOL FOR CHRISTMAS.

    Everything was practical: clothes, or toys made out of wood “These are going to last forever. They are timeless. Someday you will appreciate these.” blah blah blah “I want a Barbie doll” “NO” blah blah blah.

    And while I do appreciate the beautiful clothes and wooden toys that my mother packed away when I was done with them, and then handed down to my kids…they also have Barbie dolls and play kitchens and a Diego Big Wheel that plays music while you ride and has fucking turn signals and a horn. Because those things are fun too.

  61. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:54 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    “Everything was practical: clothes, or toys made out of wood β€œThese are going to last forever. They are timeless. Someday you will appreciate these.” blah blah blah β€œI want a Barbie doll” β€œNO” blah blah blah”


  62. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:53 pm Kelly Says:

    I think that we all in a way live vicariously through our kids. Mack has had an easy bake oven, mouse trap, countless barbie crap, and she has had many other things that I wasn’t ever allowed to have. Mea currently has a sit n spin (love the name of that toy) that my sister and I always coveted at our friends house. We were pretty broke growing up, but my Mom is a Christmas freak, so we always had huge piles of stuff from Santa.

    My sister and I have just been discussing this, because we both followed in her footsteps with the super huge stash from the big man, and only one or two things from the parents. Makes the mom and dad look like cheapo’s, we can’t figure out what other people do out there. I’ve asked my oldest about it, and she said she never noticed. Probably too much stuff to decipher what was from who.

  63. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:50 pm Chris in Phx Says:

    I had a sit n spin too, but we called it the twirl and hurl

  64. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:47 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Was it actually any fun?

  65. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:55 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I think that’s the best part of being a parent for me. Being able to do that sort of thing for our kids. I’m sure my kids will be all “I WANTED an educational toy, but my mom INSISTED on a Power Wheels! WTF!”

  66. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:57 pm Miss Spoken Says:

    My childhood has been narcotically erased so I’m afraid I can’t answer that question. But, I know what I WON’T be buying for my own daughter this year: that ridiculous doll that says “I made a stinky.”

    The fuck?

    And I think her name is Baby Alive and come on, that’s just creepy.

  67. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:33 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That is so fucking creepy that it makes me pee a little. IN A BAD WAY.

  68. On December 10th, 2009 at 12:59 pm Ed Says:

    Youngest of 7 over here, which, you’d think, would mean I didn’t get crap. Turns out alcoholic/neglectful parents see Christmas as the one day a year to redeem themselves, so I pretty much got every toy I wanted. Made me kinda cocky about the whole process, so I started asking for cool things like a horse or for the family to move to the beach.
    My kids came out of the gate asking for rockets and European vacations. They don’t get them (yet), but they do get 364 other days of love and attention. So it works out.

  69. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:01 pm Ed Says:

    By the way, I echo Vinomom. That train set is totally BAD-ASS!

  70. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:36 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That train set is fucking PIMP.

  71. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:34 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    And that’s what matters. ALONG with horses and rockets and vacations. RIGHT?

  72. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:03 pm Marie Says:

    I was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles FREAK(I was the only girl and a total tomboy). It hurts my heart to say my son could take or leave them. I have bought him just about everthing TMNT and he just doesn’t care. We have seen all movies old and new and he had their Lair, Micheal Angelo’s pizza shooter, and much more.

    I will start again on the new little boy to see if I can get him excited about them. Its beats the hell out of Tranformers and Star Wars IMHO.

  73. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:37 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Do you remember MICRO MACHINES? I am SO SAD that they’re a chocking hazard now.

  74. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:12 pm Evil Twin's Wife Says:

    I got everything I ever wanted except the big Barbie head. My mom said no because I’d have make up smeared into the carpet. I will probably never buy my daughter the big Barbie head for the same reason. LOL.

  75. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:39 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    OMFG I totally REMEMBER the big scary Barbie head! I wonder if they still make it! HOLY CRAP!

    I wasn’t allowed Barbies, so I never had that stuff. Wanted it tho, just never had it.

  76. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:13 pm carissajade Says:

    Ahhh you’re the best mommy ever!!That train station looks awesome. AND and easy bake oven?? I bet they are really cool these days. I don’t think I even had any friends who had one. I had to play with that fake plastic food and just pretend to cook… or use mud and rocks which was actually kind of fun… ahhh childhood.

  77. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:40 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Yes, I was a mud and rock child too. Which maybe that was good, right? (I’m pretending, see?)

  78. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:16 pm Ivory Says:

    1. I know where my husband and all his siblings were conceived. The ILs told us at dinner one night. Yes, lovely.
    2. I still give my mom a hard time about the life-size my little pony that I wanted and the kitchen set I got instead πŸ™

  79. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:41 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    So, I got Mimi this kitchen set for Christmas this year. Really, it’s this plastic set for ALL the kids, but since Mimi had like no toys, I said it was for Mimi. It came in the mail today, and the boys were going NUTS for it.

    I was CRACKING up. Figures. They’ll probably hate the train table and play with the baby kitchen set (which is pretty cool).

  80. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:19 pm linlah Says:

    Santa brought snow skis and I didn’t know how to ski. As luck would have it my dad did and it turned into a life long love of the sport.

  81. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:43 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That’s pretty cool! Rock on!

  82. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:32 pm Laura Says:

    Oh they are going to love that train set!!! When my daughter was 3 I got her a train set and table. At night when she was asleep I would rearrange it all and make it REALLY cool. Sometimes I would even bring in her big legos and build a little town, put the people in the town and it was SO COOL!

    She did not think it was cool that I played with her stuff.

    And I always wanted a sit-and-spin. I bought that for her too and I sat and spun and it wasn’t as cool as I thought it would be…

  83. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:43 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Isn’t it SAD when that sort of thing happens? You’re all, “THIS IS GOING TO RULE?” and then it doesn’t?

  84. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:41 pm SciFi Dad Says:

    This is me feeling shitty for what I’m about to say.

    If that image is accurate, then you’re looking at the Imaginarium table/train set, no?

    My mother wanted to get a train table for my son for his birthday, and we saw this set and thought it’d be awesome. I went online and did some googling for reviews… not good. There were lot of comments about quality issues, connectivity (tracks don’t link up right, even within its own set), table/drawer problems, etc.

    My suggestion would be for you to google yourself and see what they say and decide if it concerns you or not. We ended up going with a generic table and will add the train stuff piecemeal.

  85. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:44 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:


    Here’s hoping that people were WRONG.

  86. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:43 pm Jessica Says:

    Sooo….can I come wake up at your house for Christmas because that is the most awesome train set. Ever.

    You’re never too old for toys. Whoever said that never really held onto the Toys R’ Us mantra and probably was a sad, sorry little man like the Burgermeister who made toys illegal because he broke his funny bone.

    And I still question his motive. I mean, the fuck? It’s not our fault you’re miserable. And fat.

  87. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:44 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I totally didn’t grow up which is probably why I get such a kick out of Christmas. And, uh, really the toy aisle.

  88. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:46 pm Gail Says:

    My oldest got that train set when he was 2, and I have hated having it in my living room ever since. However, all three of the boys now play with it, so I can’t bitch TOO much.

    Well, actually, I can.

  89. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:45 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Oh, you so can bitch. I’ll be breaking my ankles on those train parts for YEARS. Until the train table isn’t used (I give it 3 weeks) and then I cry bitter, mean, hateful tears.

  90. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:49 pm Jayme Says:

    I TOTALLY bought my daughters an EZ Bake Oven last year simply because I wanted it because I never had one. My parents used to say that I could bake real sized desserts in the real oven and not make tiny overpriced samples LOL

  91. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:46 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    My mom said I could use the real oven, instead of the EZ Bake Oven right? ONLY SHE NEVER LET ME. EVER.

  92. On December 10th, 2009 at 1:59 pm MamaOtwins+1 Says:

    There will be a train set under the tree for little man this year too – because he wants it and I’m going to get it for him.
    I’m like that – I don’t have any pent up animosity for things I didn’t get, but when you child onlys asks for 1 or 2 things, you darn well better get them!

  93. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:47 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It was just kind of weird of them. I wasn’t actually a greedy kid. I’m not sure why they didn’t do it.

  94. On December 10th, 2009 at 2:05 pm Dot Says:

    I’m so glad little Becky is getting what she always wanted.

    Oh, sore subject!!! I did have an Easy Bake Oven and yes, a lightbulb does work. But I didn’t care and still hate cooking. I have no kids, but as an adult I bought myself a Barbie doll. Didn’t want to play with it, so I gave it away. It just wasn’t the same as HAVING HAD one at the appropriate time. I always wanted a train set (my father had a huge table in the basement with tunnels and everything), Tinker Toys and an Erector Set (yer dirty mind, not mine). I also miss my Lindoln Logs and I had something else that was kind of like Legos but you built houses. Loved that.

  95. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:50 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I DIDN’T HAVE A BARBIE EITHER! My mom wouldn’t allow me Barbies when I was a child! I always wanted one too! It’s funny the things you don’t forget.

    I’ve always loved the huge train sets like your dad had and wanted one. Maybe some day. I’m more careful now that I’m not a kid.

  96. On December 10th, 2009 at 2:17 pm Nicole Says:

    My kids tend to get toys not because I didn’t get them as a child, but because my husband and I are tired of playing with the ones they have. My husband, specifically, could spend HOURS playing with the train set and the Lego’s, and on more than one occasion I have had to remind him that the kids are 4 and 2 and that he is 36 – they need to play nicely together.

  97. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:51 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That’s SO the beauty of it, isn’t it? Dave likes Legos, but I would rather stab myself in the ear than build them. I never enjoyed stuff like that. Just not my thing.

  98. On December 10th, 2009 at 2:26 pm Bex Says:

    My older sister got the EZ bake oven. Obviously I don’t remember what I got that year. When you have three sisters, what they get is ALWAYS better than what you get. But a train set–that is perfect. I hope you actually let your kids play with it sometimes. But I totally understand if you don’t.

  99. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:52 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I might have to beat them away from it. Or maybe I’ll set it up early in MY bedroom and play with it at night. Bwahahahaha!

  100. On December 10th, 2009 at 2:27 pm Sara R. Says:

    I purposely got my daughter into Thomas so that I could get her a train table and play with it. Train tables are just awesome.

    My sisters and I always begged for a Nintendo and my mom staunchly refused to get one because “you all would veg out and not ever exercise or use your brains”. Um, DUH, that’s what video games are for. So we always had to play at other people’s houses, being Luigi because we were the guest and having to watch while kids with far superior Mario Bros. skills beat the entire game as Mario before we even got a turn.

    We all bought ourselves gameboys once we got old enough to earn our own money, but even then those were her favorite thing to take away if we got a bad grade or “smart talked” to her. Considering we never used our brains again once we got video games I thought it was admirable we could still “smart talk” at all.

  101. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:53 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I totally remember having to BEG my neighbor to play her Nintendo! My parents were VERY anti-video game too and my neighbor was all “it’s MY Nintendo!” Hahahahaha!

  102. On December 10th, 2009 at 2:42 pm Mwa Says:

    Oh yes. I get my son the plastic piece of crap de jour even though I know it will only last a while. And we love it.

  103. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:53 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    For that time, it’s utter bliss!

  104. On December 10th, 2009 at 2:45 pm 6512 and growing Says:

    I totally played with my son’s wooden train set all last winter. We actually played together, which made me a very, very good mom.

    Now he is over trains and I am looking for the Next Thing for little boys (he’s almost five).

  105. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:54 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Hmmmm. My kids all like kitchen sets.

  106. On December 10th, 2009 at 2:56 pm Steph Says:

    My inlaws got my son that train set for his 2nd birthday back in August and he LOVES it. It entertains him for hours! Plus it is pretty sturdy, I caught him standing in one of the drawers and it didn’t break. Hope it gives you hours of free time πŸ™‚

  107. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:55 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I’m guessing that the cars will end up being lobbed at heads within 10 minutes, but that’s okay. They’ll love it.

  108. On December 10th, 2009 at 2:57 pm Staci Says:

    Alas, for me it was also the EZ bake oven. But the real kicker was that I got all the mixes and pans for the EZ bake oven that particular Christmas. That’s right. I got all that sh*t WITHOUT the oven. My mom just said in her brightest voice… “You can make these with the regular oven!”

    Probably why I hate to cook today.

  109. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:55 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    THAT’S BOTH AWESOME AND CRUEL! I actually laughed out loud, but not because it was funny, you know?

  110. On December 10th, 2009 at 2:58 pm Jenn Says:

    My Dad wanted to by me an Easy Bake oven when I was 7. She wouldn’t let him. So when he died, she ran out and bought me one. That’s what Easy Bake ovens remind me of. Fun, eh? So when Kent was all “Let’s buy the kids an Easy Bake oven for Christmas” I was all “What the FUCK is wrong with you? That’s sick.” Now I’m wondering why I quit therapy…

    That wooden train set kicks ass. Both my kids love trains and they have about 50 bazillion different ones and a few different tracks. I play with them too. And being able to play with toys again (without the funny looks from other adults) is the main reason I had kids.

  111. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:57 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I think that’s why we all have kids. Because now I pee when I cough and have hemorrhoids. WHY ELSE WOULD I DO THAT TO MYSELF?

  112. On December 10th, 2009 at 3:02 pm Pam Says:

    Two words: Barbie Dreamhouse

  113. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:57 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Awww YEAH!

  114. On December 10th, 2009 at 3:10 pm BigSis Says:

    My parents say they are still together (after 41 years) because their pre-nup says whoever leaves has to take the kids and neither of them wants us.

  115. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:57 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    And that is a beautiful thing.

  116. On December 10th, 2009 at 3:14 pm Manda Says:

    Aunt BEEECCKKKYYY….(whining)

    My computer at work won’t let me join your band of merry pranksters because facebook is blocked.

    And my phone, which does allow facebook, won’t let me do it because, well, it’s a phone, and there is a limit to the technology available on a 99 dollar blackberry.

    Also, did you ever announce the winner of the last contest? Is it hidden somewhere? Did I miss it? Was the winner only announced to the winner? I need to know these things.

  117. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:00 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:


  118. On December 10th, 2009 at 3:19 pm p jane Says:

    We tend to get the boys stuff we remember having loved playing with, like Rock’em Sock’em Robots…and Jarts. The older two got a Red Rider BB Gun to share last year and the youngest got a cap gun which makes MIL weep. (*hee*)

    Neither hubby nor I were deprived kids but our parents were practical and frugal. Our kids have way too much stuff, but by GOD they know how well off they have it. (Not that it stops them for asking for a cell phone for which they have absolutely no need.)

  119. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:01 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Ben asked for–and I am not even kidding–a small thing of hand sanitizer. Yeah. DON’T KNOW WHO HE’S RELATED TO.

  120. On December 10th, 2009 at 3:28 pm The Only girl Says:

    Not that I ever wanted for anything either, but I have always wanted one of those Rock Polishers. Nothing better than smooth shiny rocks I say.

    I too have a son that never really played with toys until his younger brother, who got ALL the imagination in the family, came about. What up with that?

  121. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:02 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I got a Rock Polisher one year and it took so long that I lost interest in it. I am an impatient lass.

  122. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:03 pm amber Says:

    I always wanted an Easy Bake Oven. And a Power Wheels….And ballet classes.

    Guess who’s getting enrolled in Tiny Tots ballet as soon as she’s old enough?

  123. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:04 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    And that is full of YES.

  124. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:11 pm Ginger Magnolia Says:

    It was the Power Wheels for me. One of our neighbors had a Corvette one and I begged and begged and wished and wished for one, but never had one. Not even close!

    So, of course, I bought my boys a Power Wheels. It was the one and only time I went shopping on Black Friday, and it was worth it!

    I never had an Easy Bake Oven, either. We always got stuff like latchhook kits and shit.

  125. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:04 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Did the boys LOVE on it?

  126. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:13 pm theramblinghousewife Says:

    That is EXACTLY what my boys woke up to last Christmas! Well, worth the money–and a great train table for the price–Word to the wise–Don’t wait until midnight Christmas Eve to start putting it together….It was not fun!!!

  127. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:04 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    GOOD CALL. You KNOW we would have done that, too.

  128. On December 10th, 2009 at 4:44 pm Not My Mother Says:

    I always wanted a pony. In fact one time I was caught cutting pictures of ponies out of a library book and my mum, in an attempt at child psychology that was transparent even to me at 7, said, “tell us why you did that? Maybe we can help.” I didn’t say, “Well BUY ME A DAMN PONY THEN,” and to this day I’ve regretted it. Seriously, I always thought they refused out of sheer bloodymindedness but it turned out we were quite poor. Who knew?

    The rest of the time I always wanted the toys everyone else had but mum had to buy me ‘interesting variations’. Like, I didn’t get a normal spacehopper, no I had one that had Rupert The Bear’s upper torso instead of the handles. My dog Pookie liked shagging Rupert. And instead of snakes and ladders I had Sooty And Sweep A Day At The Zoo Game, with animals instead of ladders. OK, now I see the charm but at the time I just wanted to fit in!

    I worry I’m going to be the annoying sort of mother who buys her daughter wooden toys instead of the cool noisy plastic things they want. I can see getting her a kitchen,but I draw the line at pretend ironing boards and vacuums and the like. One, because they encourage stupid gender stereotypes (she will have a pirate ship cubby house and SHE WILL LIKE IT) and two, if she wants to vacuum so damn much she can get mine out instead.

  129. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:14 pm michele Says:

    heh, i bought my son a kitchen when he was two because, A) he wanted it and B) my father-in-law is chauvinistic and it bothers him that i don’t cook and my husband does.

  130. On December 10th, 2009 at 5:09 pm Mrs Soup Says:

    I always have, and most likely always will, want a pony/horse. Always.

    But I survived with My Little Ponies up the wazzu, Breyer horses, Cabbage Patch horses….if it was a horse, I’ve probably had at least one. Still do in fact.

    Cannot wait to have my daughter play with them, Barbies, everything!

    Oh, and that train set? TOTALLY HAD THAT GROWING UP!

    My parent’s loved me better than yours. ^.^

  131. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:33 pm Manda Says:

    Oh, Mrs. Soup…you gloat now. Until I tell you this…

    One year I actually got a pony.

    A real, live pony.

    I think I was like 5 or 6 at the time. My grandparents claimed it was for all the grandkids, but of the 4 of us, one lived several states away, one was deathly allergic to horses, and my little brother was an infant.

    That was SO my pony.

    His name was Spike and I only rode him once. He bucked me off.

    My grandmother caught me by the seat of my pants.

    Spike was sold a few months later because he was mean and my grandfather couldn’t break him. But oh, for a few glorious moments, I lived the dream.

    Even after he was gone, I was more than content to play with the retired racehorse they kept as a pet/companion to the breeding stock, even though he wasn’t saddle broken and I couldn’t ride him. They kept him well after they got rid of the brood mares because I loved him so. So I guess technically I had 2 ponies.

    I win.

  132. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:22 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Mrs. Spit is so glowering at you now, Manda.

  133. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:05 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I had 1 My Little Pony that I got from one of my birthday parties. And I looooved it. DAMN YOU.

  134. On December 10th, 2009 at 5:13 pm Dana Says:

    Growing up we got one present from Santa, plus stocking that mostly contained oranges, chocolates, & other treats, and one present from parents, usually a book. We were well-off but not very gift-oriented, and I don’t remember being encouraged to ask Santa for stuff, or make a list, or anything like that. My best present from Santa was when I was 13, my stockings contained studs for pierced ears, with a note, clearly written by my father, “I hear there is a little girl who is interested in self-mutilation. Love, Santa.” I’d been begging for pierced ears since I was 5 and best friends with a little girl from Pakistan (pierced ears for little girls were pretty uncommon in the 1970s, at least where i grew up.)

    I have 3 boys under 4 years of age, and it never occurred to me to buy more than one present from Santa, one from us, and some treats. Oh well, what they don’t know . . . This year I noticed my oldest has been wanting walkie-talkies, and I saw a 3-pack of walkie-talkies at Costco for $60, and I’ve persuaded my son to ask Santa for walkie-talkies for him and his baby brothers! Woo-Hoo!

    The oldest started playing with trains when he got them from Santa 2 years ago, but he wasn’t interested in train tracks for a couple of years. He basically carried various Thomas trains around like they were dolls, talking to them, playing out different scenarios. Now he’s into trains on tracks, especially since my sister-in-law came to visit from across the continent with a Suitcase full of Brio tracks her sons had outgrown. We have massive tracks set up by my husband every morning all through the living room, and all three boys play with trains all day.

  135. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:06 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I really, really, really hope that my kids love the trains like yours do.

  136. On December 10th, 2009 at 5:15 pm Sabreena Says:

    I totally wanted that two story Barbie Dream House with the little elevator for YEARS! My parents, who bought pretty much everything but that item for all of those years, built a wooden doll house with no windows, door, or stairs/elevator and which the Barbies were too tall for. You would think they might hook up some little dolls or a few rooms worth of cute furniture but no. I have 2 boys now and my husband doesn’t feel the Barbie Dream House is approriate for their gender so I will be buying one for my niece. Then I will invite myself over to play with it!!!

  137. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:07 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I am thinking next year is Barbie Year for us. I wasn’t allowed Barbies and while Mimi will probably hate them, I don’t really care. They’ll be MY Barbies. YOU can come play at my house with them with us. Or just me. We can drink cocktails and play Barbies.

  138. On December 10th, 2009 at 5:30 pm Coco Says:

    I actually got a fair amount of the items I pined for, including the Sunshine Family Farm (top 5 in the best presents EVER – you could milk the cow, yo), Baby Alive (creepiest present ever – rubbery corpse-like doll that made zombie grinding sounds – GET IT AWAY), bikes, Barbie’s townhose with the working elevator (awesome but still narrowly edged out by SFF on the best present ever countdown)…yet the one thing I was DYING for when I was 9, a simple stuffed Curious George, my mother chose to gift to my brother, who DID NOT EVEN WORSHIP CURIOUS GEORGE LIKE I DID, while I received a bizarre-looking cheap stuffed dog with orange demon-dog eyes.

    I cried for a week while she acted shocked. Dude. Could she just buy two of the damn things? NO. She took perverse pleasure in giving my monkey to that half-wit boy she favored constantly, and I knew it.

    Not that I’m still bitter.


    So now? I have a Curious George worshipper of my own and I buy him EVERY DAMN Curious George thing I can find. Because, obviously.

  139. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:10 pm michele Says:

    the sunshine family rocked!

  140. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:21 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    What on EARTH is the Sunshine Family?

  141. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:26 pm michele Says:

    lol -the seventies flower-child version of barbie. mom, dad & baby had a tandem bike, a craft store, house, van etc.

  142. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:09 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I was buying Mimi a doll, and NOW COCO, OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD, there are these motion sensor dolls, COCO, OHMYGOD, when you go near them, they’re all “HAHAHAHAHAH” and I nearly shit my pants.



    We should buy those for people we hate and stash them around their houses! *rubs hands together!*

  143. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:35 pm Clair Jordan Says:

    And what about those life size barbies?! My mother in law bought one for my daughter. It’s in the basement and every time I go down there and see it, I think one of those crazy twins from the shining has broken into the house!!!!

  144. On December 11th, 2009 at 12:38 pm Coco Says:

    Listen, the day they make a doll that can recognize me by sight and walk around on its own is the day I move to a rural village in Alaska. All I need is to wake up one night to find the creepy AI doll sitting on my chest with a knife in its little hand saying “you should have been nicer to me, mommy!”

  145. On December 10th, 2009 at 5:38 pm Sara @ Life With the Two Says:

    My children are getting an Easy Bake oven this year, because my dad told me he’d rather my grandma teach me to bake with a REAL oven. Which she did, and while I’m grateful, that’s SOOOO not the point!!

  146. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:09 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It’s really not the point. Having your own stupid ass oven is the point. Really, grown-ups don’t get it. They don’t.

  147. On December 10th, 2009 at 5:41 pm Fizzle Says:

    I always wanted a Power Wheels Barbie Jeep. Driving is the ultimate dream. Until you’re old enough, and you find yourself begging people to drive you long distances– because really– driving is effing boring.

  148. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:10 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I wonder what the weight limit is on those puppies…because I am ALL ABOUT IT.

  149. On December 10th, 2009 at 5:44 pm That Mama Says:

    I always wanted Barbie’s Dream House. The yellow one. I had an RV, and a News Studio, but no Dream House. I begged, I cried, I pleaded…but no dream house. I asked Santa for years and years for one. But no Dream House.

    And unless That Kid has a sister, there’s no way I’m getting Barbie’s Dream House. Guess it’s a good thing I don’t mind trains myself!! πŸ™‚

    As a side note, we got That Kid a Power Wheels over the summer. He likes to “work” on it with screwdrivers. He won’t drive it. It sits in our garage until he decides he wants to play with it, then I lug it out and he sits in it for a second. Then he gets out, and gets his tools. So glad we wasted our money on that one!

  150. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:10 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    *shakes fists*

    That’s what I’m afraid Alex would do with a Power Wheels. BUMMER.

  151. On December 10th, 2009 at 5:46 pm tysdaddy Says:

    Check it out . . .

  152. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:12 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That is so wicked cool! Did you get that one too!?!

  153. On December 10th, 2009 at 5:58 pm lala Says:

    I always wanted a Lite Brite. My ex bought me one sometime during my 20s and I loved it. I wonder what ever happened to it…

  154. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:13 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    We happen to have a Lite Brite in my house. And it will stay unused until Alex uses it, because Ben isn’t much into the toys until his brother or sister is.

    You want it? You can have it!

  155. On December 11th, 2009 at 8:20 am lala Says:

    Alas, the novelty wore off before too long and I’m sure the one I got is gathering dust in my dad’s house. Thanks for the offer though!

  156. On December 10th, 2009 at 6:08 pm GingerB Says:

    Claire wants Barbies this year, and candy. Guess what she’ll get? Barbies and candy, and a whole bunch more stuff. I can’t wait to shower my girls with everything I never got. There is a lot of joy to be had with cheap plastic toys, and a few educational ones thrown in for good measure.

  157. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:13 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    ROCK ON. I swear, that’s what’s so much fun about kids.

  158. On December 10th, 2009 at 6:12 pm Shin Ae Says:

    Easy Bake Oven. I think I had one that worked for about five minutes because it was from a yard sale or something. And no, we weren’t poor; my mom just loved to buy things from yard sales.

    Easy Bake is something I’ve totally sold my sons on and plan to buy for them at the soonest opportunity. Christmas, I guess!

    I don’t remember not getting toys I wanted. I guess I didn’t want a lot of toys. I always wanted things like my own bathroom, a kitchen in my room, that sort of thing. Completely ridiculous. And I didn’t get them, which was good.

  159. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:14 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Bwahahahaha! I think if you had, I would have been SCATHINGLY jealous. Then again, the EZ Bake Oven thing, that’s pretty sad.

  160. On December 10th, 2009 at 6:24 pm pixielation Says:

    wicked cool train set!

    I didn’t really have anything I was deprived of gift-wise when I was a kid. I might have to do some bargaining for certain things (combine christmas and birthday presents for example – got a kayak that year!)

    I do find that my older daughter didn’t play much with some toys until she had a sibling to play with though. There is a lot to be said for companionship!

  161. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:15 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I always wanted a sibling as a companion. My brother was too much older than me to ever want to play with me on my level. If I had gotten a train set, he’d never have played with me.

  162. On December 10th, 2009 at 7:21 pm Mad Woman Says:

    I got my kids a train set because I wasn’t allowed one. And you know what? They didn’t play with it. Ever.

    Actually, that’s a lie. They did play with the table. They danced on it. They just never played with the train bits.

    There’s an award for you on my blog.

  163. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:16 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:


    And I’m terrified the kids won’t like the train set. But if they don’t? Well, they don’t. What can I do?

  164. On December 10th, 2009 at 7:58 pm JenniferCee Says:

    All I ever wanted was a Snoopy Snowcone Machine…I never got one. I managed to find a Spongebob one and my son is SO getting it for Christmas. I don’t even know that he knows what it is but I can’t wait to play with it πŸ™‚

  165. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:17 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That sounds like a ton of fun. Let me know if you like it!

  166. On December 10th, 2009 at 8:20 pm melissa Says:

    i had an ez-bake oven. but it disappeared. for years. i think that my parents didn’t want to replace the mixes. i found it in a box in my parents garage, hidden like a lost chanuka present.
    my oldest son never really played with toys either. and i used to buy him a ton of them. and he’d look at them. hold them. and then he’d go do something else. not sure what but it wasn’t playing with the obnoxious amount of red power rangers. and it certainly wasn’t that train table the i bought him for chanuka with my parents when he was 3.
    and my daughter, who i tried so hard to get to like barbies and madame alexander dolls. forget about it.

  167. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:18 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Oh, that’s DEPRESSING. I’m pretty sure my daughter will hate all girly things because I want her to love them so much.

  168. On December 10th, 2009 at 8:47 pm maya Says:

    This is exactly why I have banned myself from ebay. kids these days just don’t appreciate pac man yoyos.
    My three year old doesn’t play with toys either. Santa might bring him a bag of garbage.

  169. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:18 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Red Solo cups. Those are a favorite. And straws. I KNOW. Why do I buy toys? I DON’T KNOW.

  170. On December 10th, 2009 at 9:21 pm Zakary Says:

    We had an EZ bake oven and it was a piece o crap.

    I’m jealous of that train table. I think maybe Troy needs one next year.

  171. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:21 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Troy so needs one. Unless my kids don’t play with this. Then he can have theirs.

  172. On December 10th, 2009 at 10:07 pm michele Says:

    totally can’t wait for my daughter to be old enough for an easy bake. my mom never got me one, and that *is* the reason we had a second kid. i needed a girl to get an easy bake. πŸ˜€

  173. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:14 pm Clair Jordan Says:

    Man, you are going to up a couple of notches on the cool scale when the boys open that Christmas morning!!

    When I was little I wanted this snowman thing that made slushies. However, our house was like a museum and cleaner than the inside of a bottle of bleach so alas I could not have one. My husband bought me one a couple of years ago for Christmas. I cried my eyes out and then made little slushies for everyone.

    My daughter is getting an easy bake oven for Christmas this year and I will eat every crappy little cupcake that comes out of the damn thing! (Maybe I should buy her some holiday bits to put in them?!)

  174. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:23 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Was it good? The snow cone machine?


  175. On December 10th, 2009 at 11:29 pm Clair Jordan Says:

    Eh! It was okay. I got tired of it pretty quickly. I just couldn’t believe my husband remembered the story and bought me one. He’s usually not so great with the gift buying – as in if I want something I have to print a picture of it with a link of where he can order it online.

  176. On December 11th, 2009 at 1:13 am Krissa Says:

    Are you kidding me? We decked out John’s son with a Brio train set when he was little. Cost a fortune, that’s about all I remember about it. He never once played with it. Little shit.

  177. On December 11th, 2009 at 7:14 am Tara Says:

    A play kitchen. I had a friend who had her own playroom with every toy imaginable. All I wanted was a play kitchen. Never got it. I think it was something to do with space… So, this year, my two year old son is getting a play kitchen.

  178. On December 11th, 2009 at 7:47 am Badass Geek Says:

    I want an EZ Bake. Because how cool would it be to be able to make a cake RIGHT HERE AT MY DESK? That’d rule the world.

  179. On December 11th, 2009 at 7:49 am moonspun Says:

    My mom would never buy me an easy bake oven. Which is why I know I will jealous when the one my SIL just bought for lil m arrives. That’s ok…
    And my own mother for whom I’d beg for please just one nice gift as opposed to be bunch of crap? finally listened to a request from lil m for a doll (Grammy I love him, he spoke to me, I already named him!) and is getting her this lovely handcrafted boy Peruvian doll we saw at a craft fair.
    Maybe things do change.

  180. On December 11th, 2009 at 7:57 am ToyLady Says:

    Dude. I DID buy my kid all that cool stuff I never got. ALL of it.

    And he Did. Not. Care.

    I just can’t win, I guess. Some day, he’ll have kids of his own just like him!

  181. On December 11th, 2009 at 8:05 am Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt Says:

    I ALWAYS asked for and NEVER got the Barbie Dream House. I don’t think I’ll buy it for The King but if it turns out he prefers Barbies over trucks I might finally score the golden gift.

  182. On December 11th, 2009 at 8:06 am Aunt Juicebox Says:

    The one thing I always wanted was a lot of Barbies. I only had two, and no Kens. And all my stuff was hand me down, I never got a new Barbie. So when I had my daughter, I went CRAZY and I mean out of my mind buying Barbie shit. Tons of it. She? Never really played with them. Must be something psychological about that. We eventually gave them all away to her younger cousins. She had almost a hundred of them, and tubs full of clothing, furniture, cars, and several houses.

  183. On December 11th, 2009 at 8:53 am Sharon Says:

    Lucky kids- a great mom AND cool toys. I think you can’t go wrong with the train. Kids who don’t like to play with it generally love to set it up and that can be hours of fun. In fact, we bought our daughter the Calico Critters doll house just so *we* could set it up.

    My 7 year-old asked Santa for an aquarium. Yeah, I know. We are trying to stretch the Santa belief, so I really laid it on thick that we don’t have the money and it has to come from the fat guy. She ended her letter to Santa with, “If I can’t have the aquarium, that’s okay too.” I love this kid.

  184. On December 11th, 2009 at 9:11 am excavator Says:

    Wow. I want to come play with that train set.

    I had a more embarrassing situation–at play dates I found myself wanting my kids to be able to play with the toys that I’d wanted to play with when I was a kid, but my turn never came. So I’d find myself watchful on their behalf to nudge them toward a coveted toy that another kid had finally tired of before some other kid could get to it. At least I had the good sense to let it go if it seemed their interest had moved on, even if they’d been crying in hissy fits earlier because another child refused to give it up.

    I was always afraid my ambitions for my kids would be exposed in a humiliating way. I’m glad we’ve all aged out of that.

  185. On December 11th, 2009 at 10:17 am Amie Simmons Says:

    A train is definitely on my list, but I really want my husband to make our daughter (due in march) a dollhouse. I always wanted my dad to make me one, and although he was perfectly capable, for whatever reason he never did. It’s one of those things that can be passed for generations. I’ll make it myself if my husband won’t πŸ™‚ And really, there is nothing better than miniature everything.

  186. On December 11th, 2009 at 11:33 am Liz Says:

    I wanted a goat. A real, live goat. Instead I got a goat figurine who sat on the edge of a shelf and had legs made of sticks, AND held a miniature milk pail.

    My parents got two goats the month before I graduated high school (when I wouldn’t be home anymore…). Then they added a third one.

    Once I have children (working on it!), they’ll have a goat. Probably two. We just need a little bit more land, and the kid. The hubby won’t let me get one for me. πŸ™

  187. On December 11th, 2009 at 12:10 pm Salt Says:

    I never got a Power Wheels either. And I wanted one SO BADLY. My nephew has a really sweet one with a radio and everything and I’m sad that I am too big for it.

  188. On December 11th, 2009 at 1:31 pm Goat Says:

    Long time reader, first time poster! ~said with a really gay tone~

    I wanted a fucking prairie dog. I was about 9 or 10 and there was one for sale at a pet store near our house. My whoreMother said no.

    I even offered to pay for it, and it’s cage, and it’s water dispenser and also whatever-the-fuck prairie dogs eat. I was in love with it.

    She still said no.

    I remember not understanding WHY she would not let me purchase this animal when I HAD MY OWN FUCKING MONEY and would take care of it myself.

    I pleaded with her. “Come ON bitchMom! Don’t you see? This is a fucking PRAIRIE DOG. For sale. In the middle of a big city. It’s meant to be. And I have MY OWN money.”

    I tried to reason with her. “If I don’t buy it, some gay dude will and will use it as a step up from a gerbil.”

    She still said no. BITCH.

    I should send her my therapy bill.

  189. On December 11th, 2009 at 3:48 pm Notesfromthegrove Says:

    When we were little we ALWAYS wanted one of those big wheels to drive around the block in but our parents wouldn’t ever get one for us.

    By the time *I* have kids, those things will probably fly.

  190. On December 11th, 2009 at 3:56 pm kys Says:

    Ok, my mom *says* that she is an only child but I’m beginning to think our moms are long lost sisters. I have a huge list of schizz that was too messy, noisy, fancy, or stupid to have as a child. Play dough, an Atari (cuz I’m old), a doll house, a play kitchen, and on and on.

    Oh the humanity!

  191. On December 11th, 2009 at 3:58 pm Leadia Jarvis Says:

    We had a cheap, cheap, cheap, mega-knockoff Big Wheel. And we never let my parents forget it. And I would have probably gotten into a stranger’s car had they offered me the Barbie Dream House. (sigh)

  192. On December 11th, 2009 at 4:16 pm JennyMac Says:

    EZ Bake oven? You were ROBBED! We don’t need to worry about HOW it cooked the cake, just that they were scumpdillyicious.

  193. On December 11th, 2009 at 5:11 pm Katie Says:

    I came thisclose to buying my 1 year old daughter and EZ Bake Oven for Christmas this year. Why? Because I never had one and wanted one.
    I was especially hurt to see the fucking thing cost $15. Really, mom? $15?

  194. On December 11th, 2009 at 5:15 pm Bobbi Janay Says:

    I had a powerwheels and loved it. Being an only child I got alot of what I asked for, granted I never asked for much. More then anything I grew up in a house that didn’t have central heat and air so I had to leave my bedroom door open so I will allow my children to close their door.

  195. On December 11th, 2009 at 7:04 pm Nancy Campbell Says:

    I wanted one of those big Barbie heads designed for makeup application and hair-do fun.

    Mom got me some homemade wooden blocks.

    Damn feminism in the 1970s.

  196. On December 11th, 2009 at 7:50 pm tangeria Says:

    it is funny that you should mention the cure disintegration, because not only am i on day fifteen of listening to it in the car, i just bought a back up cd for when this one goes tits up. just so i don’t have to be a single mopey second with out the cure…( i have backups of all their other cd’s too. and that is why i can’t afford to have kids.)

  197. On December 11th, 2009 at 9:16 pm gypsygrrl Says:

    dude – we are sisters in more than one way now ~ i know the date *i* was conceived as well. its a little creepy, but i DO have that “its-in-my-bloood” thing going, cuz well…conception date?

    10 November ~ MARINE CORPS BIRHDAY.
    i know i need no further explanation πŸ™‚

    love you, friend!!!

  198. On December 12th, 2009 at 11:45 am Heather Says:

    I wanted an Etch-E-Sketch and a Sit-N-Spin. I actually babysat a couple of kids specifically so I could spin my teenage ass on theirs. I guess I shouldn’t complain since I know my step-dad went to such great lengths as to buy a Cabbage Patch Doll off the back of a truck the first year they came out.

    I don’t plan on spoiling my daughter with excess because, well basically I don’t want that shit cluttering up my house but she will get things that are cooler than cool. I’ll also make sure she has some fashion because being a teenager sucked hard enough without having to wear Cherokee tennis shoes. I remember the Christmas when all I asked for was a pair of Guess jeans. I got them and that was it and they were from the outlet and the front pocket was sewn to the inside seam so my fingers only went in up to the first knuckle. Ahh, but tightrolling those suckers the first day back from Christmas break was the best day of my dramatically pathetic teenage life!

  199. On December 12th, 2009 at 5:06 pm Kendra Says:

    I dearly wanted a Cabbage Patch Kid. They were the totally cool thing, and everyone I knew had at least three. But that was not to happen. Partly we couldn’t afford it, and partly my mom refused to spend that much money on a doll that was special because of the signature on its butt. So my sister and I got homemade Cabbage Patch Kids. They looked similar, and they were the right size, but the noses were all wrong. No need to look for the signature; you could tell as soon as you saw that nose! I played with it for years but never got over the resentment at not getting the real one.

    Until now, of course, when I realize I will never be buying one of those for my kids. But I also wanted a Care Bear and never got one, and my daughter already has one, and it’s her favorite stuffed animal. So there, parents who never got me the brand names I wanted!

  200. On December 12th, 2009 at 7:23 pm Dora Says:

    Catching up on posts. Kinda have my hands full these days. πŸ™‚

    I never really got over my mother’s denial of an Easy Bake Oven. Several years ago I caught a boyfriend searching for vintage Easy Bake Ovens on ebay. I told him that while I appreciated the thought, I didn’t have the room for it in my apartment. So he got me this instead.

  201. On December 13th, 2009 at 12:42 am submom Says:

    Your title said it all. It should be the title of your book!! (Or one of them!!! Or a chapter in the book) Nodding my head vehemently. One word: Legos.

  202. On December 13th, 2009 at 12:12 pm Lola Says:

    Well, I will admit that when it came to material things, I was a spoiled, spoiled child. As far as discipline, no, no, I was not one bit spoiled, thankfully, but if my mother knew I really wanted something, then I got it. Lucky for her, I wasn’t all that greedy and put my efforts into acquiring animals and clothes.

    The husband and I are suckas for the old-school toys of our youth seven million years ago, so we do buy a lot of the things we grew up with for our son.

    As for the boy, he hardly asks for anything. He’s all about dirtbikes, four-wheelers, snowmobiles (as is his father) and the drums (as is his mother), which he’s already got, so he’s good to go. Buying him a bunch of toys is a total waste of money and clutters my house.

    Am I finally caught up or what, because my ass hurts from sitting here reading blogs…

  203. On December 13th, 2009 at 10:14 pm Sunny Says:

    Oooooh, my little munchkin would love that “choo choo.” He is getting one too, but it’s the ghetto version of that metropolis. Well done!

    I can’t really say that I’m living vicariously through my son and getting him toys that I never got. There were a few big things here and there which begging would never prevail over my parents refusal (one of those motorized ride-in cars, and a trampoline) but in general we did get a lot of what we wanted. I guess the compromise is that we wouldn’t get tons of accessories or anything like some of the other kids we knew.

  204. On December 14th, 2009 at 1:06 pm Heather Says:

    Zack got that train set last year. He loves it. Hope your boys like it just as much. πŸ™‚

  205. On December 14th, 2009 at 1:06 pm Heather Says:

    P.S. There are pieces…. Lots and LOTS of pieces so be prepared. πŸ™‚

  206. On December 14th, 2009 at 2:24 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I fully expect about 95% of it to be lost within the first 2 weeks.

  207. On December 14th, 2009 at 2:30 pm Heather Says:

    Ahhh… yet mom and dad have to put it together first for that wonderful Christmas morning surprise. I would suggest starting early. Like… NOW. Plan on investing at least 3 to 4 hours putting the thing together. 2.5 if you’re speedy!! πŸ™‚

  208. On December 15th, 2009 at 10:33 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I wonder if I can do it in my bedroom and carry it downstairs…Do you think I can put it through a door?

  209. On December 15th, 2009 at 10:53 am Heather Says:

    EVERYTHING… and I do mean EVERYTHING has to be put together. Little screws and pieces. So you can at least start. What I did was took two or three nights to put together the train station, the drawers, the mountain, the roundhouse, etc. Then waited until Christmas eve to finish with the actual table. The table its self was about 30 – 45 min. So that wasn’t too bad. It’s just the other millions of pieces. So I would open it up and start on all of those in your room if nothing else. As long as you can keep the kids out of there. If your door is wide enough you should be able to fit the table out of it too but it’s pretty big and might not fit well in your room.

  210. On December 15th, 2009 at 2:20 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    GOOD CALL. Thank you.

  211. On December 15th, 2009 at 10:59 am Heather Says:

    P.S. I wrote a post on it after I put it all together so if you want to see what is inside the box you can go here:

    Good Luck!! πŸ™‚

  212. On December 21st, 2009 at 1:18 am Amy Says:

    I want it!!! I WOULD PLAY WITH IT NOW
    (I think it would be even better to have a Cthulhu model in it *hehehe*)

  213. On January 6th, 2010 at 8:31 am Al_Pal Says:

    Heh. Train sets are awesome. I always enjoyed playing with them in stores. We never had one.
    I enjoy helping my nephew play with his, now. πŸ˜›

    We did generally have pretty awesome Christmases, though. Even sans Easy-Bake. ;p

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