Aunt Becky Finds Her Missing Piece
Probably the second most frequently asked question I get, behind only “how did you get so devastatingly gorgeous, Aunt Becky?” (answer: genetics, baby) and “will you look at the rash on my genitals?” (answer: probably not) is this: “when are going back to work?”
The question is more loaded than it sounds, and it makes me more empathetic to my infertile friends than they probably think I could be, because the answer has always been a gut rolling “I don’t know.”
Truthfully, the answer is another question, “go back to work doing what?” but it seems that telling your whole sordid tale to a stranger in line at the grocery store is probably better left unsaid. Instead, I sort of laugh as gaily as I can, masking how uncomfortable I am, and say, “Oh probably when the kids are in school.”
After my son Ben was born, I was sort of adrift, a half a bachelors degree in biology which was doing fuck-nothing for me whatsoever besides making me feel like sort of a chump. I ended up carefully deciding to go to nursing school, the lesser of two evils, knowing I was going to be a single mother, and knowing that I would need to support Ben and I.
I slogged through it miserably. I don’t know if words can express how truly miserable it made me.
Maybe they can. You know that job that you had some time in your life? Maybe it was flipping burgers or being stuck under a Fearless Leader of a boss who micromanaged the shit out of your every move, I don’t know. That’s your story. But you would wake up every day dreading work, and go home from work, sick because you knew you had to wake up and go back?
That was nursing school. My satisfaction was beating the shit out my GPA and acing tests. Wiping butts, dealing with the overcrowding/under-staffing, I couldn’t do it. Nursing is a calling, and those who do it are friggin’ saints. I mean that.
I’d walk past the science buildings and feel just sad, because that was where I belonged. Making coffee from Bunsen burners in the lab, TA-ing in BioChemistry and tutoring for Pathophysiology, that was where I was meant to be.
And I wasn’t there.
I understood unrequited love, all right.
I graduated some variation of cum laude, got my nursing license and then made a grave tactical error: I got a job doing precisely what I swore I wouldn’t do because I thought I could fake it ’til I made it. I couldn’t.
I did case management, primarily for hospice, until I got pregnant with Alex, and I’ve been home ever since. This isn’t where I intend to stay, and Dave asked me shortly after I had Mimi if I wanted to go back to work.
Dun-dun-dun.
“Sure,” I said to him, as we looked at mini-vans. “What would I do?”
We both looked at each other blankly for awhile until we cracked up. While I am very good at a lot of things like ordering my kids around, trying to do as little work as possible while spouting off random opinions about things (purple IS a flavor, dammit!), I couldn’t tell you a damn thing I’d do for a job.
Holding crack babies? I could hold babies. I’m squishy and soft and babies like me.
I could be a foreman at a construction site and wear a hardhat, because I look good in hats and I like to yell. Plus, a megaphone would be great fun.
Maybe I could even run a blog and spout of my random opinions about things! (purple IS a flavor, dammit!)
But no.
And that bothers me. I love my children, they love me, and I do a decent job making sure that all of our trains run on time.
I need more.
So I’m doing more. Finally.
I know I mentioned it couple of weeks ago, but I’ve looked into it more closely (read: more than just a flitting thought wafting through my mind) and I think that I’m really going to give it a shot.
Writing, I mean. Not just my book stuff, which is slowly going, but freelancing articles. I’m dipping my toes into the freelance world and seeing if I can find my way.
I know it’s not exactly something that I can just be all HELLO WORLD, I AM TOTALLY HERE, NOTICE ME, but I’m as annoying and tenacious as a yappy small lap dog. I don’t expect anything to be dropped onto my plate**, and maybe nothing will ever come of it, but it’s kind of nice to feel like I might have a direction besides cloudy with a chance of shit-storm.
Who knows where I’ll end up, because nothing ever seems to progress in a linear direction, now does it?
For now, though, for right now, I finally feel as though I found my missing piece.
——————
How did you find your way? Or did you find it at all?
——————
**If you’d like to drop a zillion dollars onto my plate, my email address is becky@dwink.net. You should know that I very recently found out that I am related to SEVERAL Nigerian princes! I got emails from them and everything! I am going to be a millionaire as soon as this money they’re wiring me hits my bank account.
I don’t know that many people who love the job they’re in, or who landed in the job they love the first time they were gainfully employed as an adult. I’ve never thought there’s there’s any shame in taking a while to figure things out, but I totally get the pressure and desire to do so. I didn’t get my current (and first real “Career”) job until I was 30, and thank baby jeebus I really like it because I had spent too many years (mostly) getting an education and working contract/part-time/sessional etc. that I felt like I really had to stick with it. Going back to work post-baby was made a million times easier because I didn’t dread the job I was going back to. Now that I think of it,a lack of work-related dread should be high on a list of job requirements.
So good luck, you’ll be fabulous.
Why thank you! I think most of us find our way because we get thrust into a situation where we make do and we go from there. Some people, of course, just work and come home, and that’s fine too. I love to write and I’m hoping that I can really make an honest go at this.
Oh, this so hits me where I live. I’ve been reading your blog for a while, and, while I don’t have infant/toddler things in my life at present (nor will I anytime in the future, my teenage sons assure me), it’s not so far in the past that I can’t chuckle or commiserate.
I trained to be a secondary math teacher, which I’m damned good at, but gave it up to follow my (now ex) husband around the country while he fast-tracked it in the corporate world. Throw in raising 2 special-needs kids, volunteering almost 30 hours a week, and a chronic illness, and I had a full life. I loved being at home with my kids, and I hope I never took it for granted.
Husband comes home from work one day and tells me that he’s been living a double life (hidden addiction), but would I hold his hand while he figured out what he wanted. Turns out what he wanted was a do-over: new wife, new family, the works.
So I’m finishing a technical degree in accounting, and wondering what life after school looks like. Am I finally a grown-up now?
I think you rock as a writer, because you win at life (I use that all the time now; my friends love it.)
As always.
Dude. You MORE than win at life. I cannot imagine starting over like you did (although actually I can, scary shit) and I just know that you’ll take it by the balls and make it your bitch.
I am doing what I decided I wanted to do when I was 10. Kind of. I will be doing that in a year, but I got pigeon-holed in an area of my career that sucks. And then I got laid off. And then I had to find a job and the only job I could find at the time was in the pigeon hole. So I hopped back in with the promise of a year long ladder.
So, I kind of just landed on my way – not so much looking for it.
And that, my friend, that is respectable as all hell.
I have a funny feeling (and it’s not gas) that your future involves writing. The correct opportunity will present itself and then you will forget all about us peons… LOL
Are you kidding? I’d never forget about my gnomies over here. This is where I can say shit like “ass-plosions” and “saving my ass for marriage.”
No. My blog goes nowhere.
I’m doing a job that makes money, but it’s not what I love to do. I truly don’t know what my dream job would be. I like decorating cookies, but I’m sure I’d just get tired of that some day too. Working sucks. I should have married rich 🙂
I cannot believe I gave up my life as a trophy wife.
Hey, I’m related to a Nigerian prince, too. How many Nigerian prince’s can there be?
Apparently, a fucking ton.
I haven’t found “my way” yet – I’m still working at a job and waiting patiently for some kind of career to knock on my door like a long lost cousin.
I realized last year that I really want to write. Write anything. I love writing. I love the research, the vast array of topics and mostly – editing. I just love making things go from jumbled to relatively concise (don’t read my blog – ha!).
Good luck with it – I’ll be living vicariously through you until I get up the guts to get my name out there. When you get all famous and stuff you can make me your personal editor.
And THAT would be the Awesome-est thing ever.
Ahem, freelance editor, how’d you like to talk about my manuscript? :p
I will totally need an editor if I can ever convince a soul to let me do anything beyond be Your Aunt Becky. And I know where to find you…
Aunt Becky, I wish you all the luck in the world. (Although you may not need it considering you are related to royalty) Im sure they will be banging down your door. Just dont forget about us bloggers while you write your way to the big time. What ever would we do without our Aunt Becky!!!
Have no fear, my blog is my gnomie. You guys are my people and yeah, no, no worries here. Because I cannot be all “and then I pooed my pants” in a freelancing essay. Much.
Well, that depends on who/what you’re writing for. I’m sure there’s a “and then I pooed in my pants” niche market out there.
You know what? You’re RIGHT. There’s a niche market for EVERYTHING.
I can’t wait to hear more about this. Freelancing…so tempting, yet so intimidating all at once.
Completely intimidating, although what I’m hung up on is the stupid query letter. Also, I don’t know anything about journalism AT ALL. Because I am dumb.
🙂 Not dumb…just stuck like the rest of us fictional or personal writers trying to put a marketable spin on our free time talent and having to figure out how one does that. Hoepfully you can figure it out and then share the wisdom. 😉
Oh, when I figure it out, I am TOTALLY spilling the beans to you guys.
I earned a bachelor’s degree in journalism after spending 21 years as an accounting clerk by day/ bartender by night, all while raising an ungrateful brat, er, lovely child alone. The accounting was hell but had benefits and security. The bartending, while fun and occasionally lucrative, is not money you can rely on.
I changed careers got into newspaper journalism JUST when that profession started to go the way of the dinosaurs.
So here’s journalism in a nutshell: ask a shitload of questions, then ask more questions, double check everything everyone tells you, write the best version of the truth you can find amid all the bullshit.
There. I just saved you several years of boring classes and about $25,000. You’re welcome.
Dude. I am forever in your debt. Also, don’t go into nursing if you don’t like poo and genitals. PERIOD.
I’m SO over the Nigerian Prince thing…You people are so last year….I got a FAX this morning that someone wants to invest $28 MILLION dollars in my SMALL BUSINESS! Um…Ok. Outside of my office manager job – I sell Avon part-time! That’s A LOT of eye liner, dude. (good luck with the writing Becky – you are going to do great!)
You’re just jealous of all of my princes. Ass.
That is wonderful that you are freelancing! I can totally see writing as your calling.
My mom is a nurse as well and also hated it. She ended up leaving the field, staying at home with us when we were younger, then eventually starting her own business which she loves. Time is the most frustrating yet amazing thing in the world.
Every time I read this blog, you become more and more of a hero to me. I am only 5 years younger than you, but for sure have yet to find my calling outside of school. Definitely have had a few ups and downs along the way… Including unexpectedly becoming pregnant. “Nothing ever seems to progress in a linear direction, now does it?” <– That is for sure the truth!
I already give you much credit for being a mother, since that is quite a demanding job. I wish you much luck with the writing, and I am glad you feel as though you've found your missing piece!
And now I am blushing fiercely. Thank you very much. You’re very sweet and now I feel like I should say something deep and meaningful but all that I can think of is, purple should be a flavor, dammit!
I actually have two degrees in education, but I taught for a year before I got pregnant with Jackson and I hated it. I’m sure it had a lot to do with the horrible school I was in and less to do with what a decent teaching position would actually be like, but now when people ask me when I’m going to work I just say “eventually.” But really, I just don’t know if I could handle going back to the classroom.
Good luck with the writing stuff though!
It’s hard to want to go back when you hated what you were doing. Seriously. I’d go back to nursing if I had to, but I don’t want to. It would be miserable.
Still wandering aroung in the desert. I’m as lost as the Israelites ever were and am beginning to think there is no Promised Land. My biggest fear? This is the Promised Land and I’m missing it by looking for something else. I catch glimpses in my children, but can’t quite grab a hold a piece of it for myself.
You’ll find it, love. You’ll find it.
Same boat here, babe.
Good luck!
You have talent leaking out of your ears, Ms. Moon. Together, we can do it. I’ll email you some of my links that I’ve found.
Some magazines accept submissions, and while you might get a lot of rejections, I’ve been told that this can be a good way in.
Good luck with it!
Rejections are fine. I’m all good with that! No worries. Good call! Thank you!
I made the move shortly after I started this blog and my first post says it all about moving from academic research to technical writing! I am sooooo thrilled to be in a job where I can wake up and get to work with a smile!! Confucius was right, babe!!!
I’m really, really hoping to make a go at it. If I can’t, I’ll give it my all trying.
I still haven’t found my way. My bff is in nursing school and she’s kickin’ ass, doing awesome. I couldn’t do it. I’m lazy. I think it would be great for you to write articles. I went to school for journalism but never finished (adult adhd) and now I’m a stay at home mom…blah blah blah. 🙂 I loved your FB post over on Stirfry. FB can be horrible for marriages. But it sounds like you’ve got it handled and I don’t think it’s horrible for all marriages. Oh, and let me tell you this though: It’s EVILLLL. : ) This comment sucks cuz it’s randomly all over the place. I hate that.
I think that random all over the place stuff is the best, actually. I can’t wait to read your blog!
I so admire your drive and determination. I am truly unhappy with my present job. I’ve thought long and hard about other things I could do. I mean, I have a college degree. That should count for something, right?
But in the end this stupid job always wins out. It’s flexible, I make my own hours, the pay isn’t horrible. Life has a way of getting in the way, and all you try to do is just survive. (ie, pay the bills, feed the kids, make sure everything is taken care of)
But, when you can put all of that stuff aside and make a decision like you did that will ulitmately be better for you and your family, well, that is just greatness Bex! Good luck to you honey:)
Sometimes, you have to do what you have to do to get by and that’s a shitty ass lesson. You’ll get to do something you love, Ames. I know it.
That is very Exciting Aunt Becky, and something I’m pretty sure you will rock at.
I completely lucked into what I’m doing and I DO for the most part, enjoy it. I’m a mortgage loan processor. When it’s busy, the money is fab, and the deadlines are exciting. When the economy sucks (ie RIGHT NOW) then you’re pretty much just lucky to have a job, which thankfully, I do.
If I could pick a dream job, it would be some sort of editing. I was editor of my High School paper and I loved it. I always thought I’d write, but I’ve found like Anna above commented – taking something all jumbled up and making it sound good – is much more enjoyable to me than coming up w/ my own creative ideas. My blogging gives me enough of a creative outlet for my writing, and I don’t really have to worry about whether it sounds good or not.
Thanks for asking!
Am remembering this for when I need to beg, borrow and plead for help.
And I’m so glad that you found something you liked. Dave found his job the same way and, I suspect, that’s how most people find their niche.
I don’t have a job either and its not just because I am infertile. No my dear not just cause I can;t seem to have any babies. I live in Egypt and can’t work unless I pay, or find a worthy international company to pay for a working visa for me. But you know I am so not interested inw orking here anyway. I miss working, I’m not a scientist nor a doctor but I do miss my office life sometimes. You will be awesome as a freelancer, my goodness, the perfect calling girl. Oh i stumbled upon this link and totally thought of you, enjoy! xoxoxoxo
I miss working too. You should come visit me and we can go to office supply stores and drool.
Yay for you!!! Huge thing. Huge!
Mine’s teaching, but now I’m thinking writing, too. Since the blog and all. Cause I can say things, like, pretty, likes, sometimes.
I sort of laugh as gaily as I can, masking how uncomfortable I am, and say, “Oh probably when the kids are in school.” – So what I do. Sucky moron people with their sucky moron questions! They suck morons.
It’s funny because when people are all “are you having more kids?” That one doesn’t bother me a bit. Now, when people say shit about working, I can tell them I’m a writer. I just need to publish something, I guess.
I haven’t made it yet. But today is not tomorrow, and it sure as hell ain’t yesterday. So I do what I can today.
Great piece . . .
Why thank you. We’ll find our way. I have no doubt that what I intend to do is not what I’ll end up doing.
Hi Aunt Becky!
Found you through Stir-Fry Awesomeness (love that blog!). Good for you on the writing. I wish you terrific luck. I’ve been a SAHM since my daughter was born(SAHM sounds better than long-time out of work actress!)and was looking for more myself. Started blogging to help fill the void. Your writing is sharp and funny. I’m sure you will find work. In the mean, I will be following you here.
🙂
Well it is very nice to meet you. I look forward to reading your blog too. And yes, saying you stay home with your kids is better than telling people you’re retired. I got a lot of weird looks for that one.
Coming over from Stir-Fry’s guest post (which I loved).
I actually know a marriage that broke up over Facebook. He ran into an old flame, etc. A marriage counselor friend says that Facebook is “wrecking havoc” on her clients.
I suspect there are problems to begin with.
I’m actually starting to care less about FB.
As for this posting, best of luck with the freelancing. I’m trying that myself, but I need to take it much more seriously.
I think that Facebook is kinda…uh….well…stupid. I KNOW, I KNOW, don’t beat me, please, but I just don’t care what crops you’re growing, and please, don’t send me more iSmiles, and I don’t care what vampire character you are and you don’t care what Care Bear I am.
But I can see where FB would harm marriages. I can.
I don’t think my pre-married life was very interesting. Hm.
I totally agree that much of FB is stupid. I see it as email with pictures, nothing more.
But don’t you care what flavor ice cream you are?
Me either 😉
Tee-Hee facebook is good for our marriage, we use it to play scrabble.
Scrabble, okay. I like Scrabble.
Although this isn’t my ideal job it does pay the bills and for as mind numbing as it is it also doesn’t add any additional stress to my already stressed out life.
The only advice that I can pass along is this: finding a job that is child friendly and can let you pass along some time with your children (mine is neither) is sometimes a difficult thing to do. And might add that having a stressful job can be difficult at home.
I’m sure you will find the right balance though. I *so* hope this freelancing thing works because I think you would be awesome at it!
It will work out in some form or another, eventually, because I’ll make it work. Even if I just write for those stupid coupon mailers.
And finding a job that just lets you live your life? Well, that’s worth a hell of a lot too.
I found my way by finally admitting that I like doing nothing more than being a SAHM who gets her medical “fix” by taking care of her kids with special needs.
I found one more missing piece when I began looking into adoption. I know I don’t want to be pregnant again, but (as crazy as it sounds to the rest of the world) I would like to adopt a few kids with special needs.
Sometimes I feel like I need more, too. I like to be challenged, to have something that is for me versus for anyone else, but I’m 98% content with doing what I truly believe God made me to do.
Good for you on the freelance stuff ~ I think you’re an excellent writer and I wish you lots of success!!!
Why thank you. And I know that this is exactly what you need to be doing to. It’s clear that this is what you’re meant to do. You do it well. I hope that you are able to adopt some children as well. That’s so exciting! Now I just need to be able to SUBSCRIBE to your blog (not MckMama’s) so I can keep up with you!
You should be able to subscribe now. I have NO freaking clue why people were getting routed over to MckDramaQueen’s blog instead of mine, but my other friends say they can now get my blog in google reader, so you should be able to, as well. 🙂
Thanks for your sweet support. I appreciate that! 😀
I meant to come back and gloat that I FINALLY got subscribed to your blog. It made me SO MAD that I wasn’t getting through because I’m not nearly clever enough to check yours every day. I feel badly for any of my private blog friends. Every time they go private, I forget to check.
BAD FRIEND. I am a BAD FRIEND. But you are now in my reader.
Congratulations, good luck, and send me links to promote your stuff, okay?
I couldn’t be a nurse to save a dying harp seal’s life. It is just horrible, awful work and sometimes the people you’re cleaning up all day die on you. No way, no how. I couldn’t even be a vet tech, for the same reasons (although I’d rather hold kittens than old people, to be perfectly honest.)
Writing is a real job; maybe you’ll even snag a real paycheck 🙂
I’m imagining I’ll be writing riveting things like, “At Jimmy’s Pizza, they have a special for $9.99…” but hey, I’m going to give it my all, right?
And thanks for your encouragement. I can use it.
Awww you didn’t win the Microsoft lottery for email tracking?
I’m doing something I’m good at not something I enjoy. If you have the opportunity to find and do something you love go for it. I don’t have that because i’m in the reverse situation. I’m the bread winner and the wife was the stay at home mom while she finished getting her MA certification so until she finds someone to pay for her nursing or a MA position that pays nice I’m stuck. Then again what I’d love to do isn’t a reality or possibility without moving out the hell hole called Michigan. #1 in unemployment and forclosures!! woohooo come live in the great depression state.
I had no idea Michigan was the #1 state for that!
And I’m sorry that you’re doing something you’re good at but that you don’t like. I’ve been there too, and it’s hard.
Yea were fighting California for the top spot, they only will beat us because they have more people but last I knew for Sept we were still #1 with 9.6% unemployment with flint for example at over 25% unemployment. http://money.cnn.com/pf/features/lists/state_unemployment/
Also since I would reply to your comment on my site but the whole comment notification system doesn’t quite work you’d never know I responded. Thank you for the comment, and I don’t think he can get more cute without breaking a camera or two. =)
Did you see that you won on Toy With Me? A certain someone picked you (pats self on back).
I accidentally landed into a job I really like most of the time. What I like most about it is that I make good money-considering I only work fullish time-and I work for myself. I just accidentally fell into being an attorney with her own firm. Though, I’d prefer to get paid to do something creative. So, when you cash in on all of your princes, remember me, mmmmmmmmm’kay?
I think you’re a great writer-so, I think you;ll do just fine.
I really hope that I’m able to do it. I mean, I’ll do it, but I hope that I can do it, you know? GAH, I sound like an asshole.
Sorry.
I got lucky and found a job being a fancy receptionist with a kickass company where I have a kickass boss. Does my job rock? Hell no. But am I super lucky to have one, especially since it’s a rock solid company owned by a person whom I actually really like? Hell yes. So I’m stayin’. And in the meantime, I get to do what I REALLY like part-time at the radio station. So it’s kind of the best of both crazy worlds. Although someday I hope to be able to switch things up to be a part-time stay at home mom. But that’s a whole ‘nother story.
You work at a radio station? You are my HERO. You better dedicate a song to me and then make people come to my blog and that is awesome can we totally be BFF?
Gone are the days when people just have one job for 40 years and then retire (unless you have tenure or work for the government!). I don’t even know how many jobs I’ve had, but I’ve had two major career changes that included graduate school for both (not fun!). I think it’s hard for most of us to find a career that you love to do. Some of us go into careers that we were expected to go into or because we thought that’s what we wanted to do. But sometimes working in one career will lead to something else entirely more interesting. That is how I ended up in my career.
Before you go back to work, I would recommend checking in with a career coach. They can really help pinpoint your strengths and help determine a good career match for you. It might be something worth looking into!
Very good call, although the last time I took one of those questionnaire things, they told me I could be a chicken vet. Which I very much could NOT be.
I have a degree in journalism and a masters in Early modern history. I went to college for the beer & sex not the education. I gave a up a job I really enjoyed to become a SAHM. It’s was a just a tech job in telecom & had a vague ever changing title that usually featured the word ‘analyst’ somewhere in it, but it was challenging & fun, paid decently and could easily be left behind at the end of the day.
Now here I am 7 years later. Too far behind the curve to go back to that sort of job. Plus DH works irregular hours which makes even getting a cashier job challenging because sooner or later I will have to call off my shift because my husband is working late and makes more money than I do so he wins.
For now I do various work from home things because nothing has called to me yet.
I don’t envy you the return to work process. I have been at my job for 17 long years. And dammit I am staying . . . I really really like – the money.
Do I like being at a job where I do the same thing month in and out. NO
Do I like working for people who don’t pay attention to anything around them. NO
Am I valued at my job. NO
Do I have a union job where I just do my stuff, get paid and go home – YES.
Eight years to retirement. Ahhhhh, priceless.
I have been thinking about my dad who worked for over 30 years in sawmills as a millwright, doing the same thing year in and out and suddenly my safe, office clerk job, not so bad. Also he died 1.5 years after he retired.
it’s all about perspective.
Perspective is key.
I’ve decided to become a Pine Martin. I’m feeling darn good about it, too.
Can I be a ferret then? Without the scent thingies? So I don’t make people run away shrieking “Holy SHIT she reeks!” (more than normal)
Go ahead and rock your scent thingies…after all, that’s what editors are for, right?
Good call! I totally need an editor. WordPress SO needs a plugin for that.
Purple is totally a flavor. I would rock the hell out of a megaphone. The worst job ever was a convenience store clerk. Why? People suck that is why.
I was a waitress for 7 years. I SO get that.
I’m pretty sure we’re related through marriage because I am the long lost niece of some king in Zimbabwe. Or maybe it was Nigeria. I can’t remember, but if not through that, then definitely through my ties with royalty in Lichtenstein. Also, I am a firm believer in the flavor purple.
Purple is SO a flavor. Tasty, too.
DO IT! You would be awesome!! I will live vicariously through you (because in my last email to you I mentioned I would like to get paid to write at some point, you know when my 2nd is a bit older). I feel your pain though about nursing not working out. I thought I’d love to be a teacher, and it wasn’t a good fit, for whatever reason.
Lots of luck (although I don’t think you need it since you have a lot of talent)!
I don’t know if I’ll get paid, but I’d like to feel loftily superior to everyone I see at Target, you know, like “Hi, I am a WRITER.” That’s really why I want to do it.
Plus: OFFICE SUPPLIES.
I totally get doing something for yourself aside from taking care of kids. But since you are super talented,i have a strong feeling that you will land a paying gig.
Office supplies are a HUGE bonus!!
I hope that you’re right, if for no other reason than to validate myself. Which to me is very important after feeling like a failure for so long.
And thank you for the sweet comment.
I’m happy enough in my job. It makes for interesting conversation, it pays well, the hours are good, and I can work fairly independently. The people suck, but that’s to be expected, and nothing’s perfect.
What do I want to do? Nothing in particular. I’m not particularly driven – which means that I have the ability to be content. Or, I’ve achieved my main goal…to have a comfortable life with a nice family.
I’m pretty sure I would kill for your job. I’m not sure what you do, only that I want to do it based on what you’ve described it as.
I work in the crime lab in your state. They’re hiring this spring. Take the test.
Of course, it takes 15 years to top out in salary, and the starting salary is OK for entry level. But, as jobs go, it’s pretty cushy.
If you live close enough to hang out, I will pee myself. Because that would be beyond amazing.
i tried to be a lot of things before i was a nurse. i studied kinesiology in college and i remember seeing the nursing students and thinking, ‘i should be with them.’ well, i dropped out of college (twice) and wasted a bunch of years before i finally went to nursing school. why didn’t i just do that in the first place? who knows.
i am just going to wait to be discovered, myself. my witty, saucy style of writing is so original that it won’t be long before i too, am a Big Deal On The Internet. i’m sure the money will start rolling in any day now.
Dude, you know you’re going to be the next Dooce, right?
I give the same response when asked when I am going back to work, though I tack an extra year on. That first year when all 3 kids are in school? That year is mine. Naps, reading, peeing alone . . . I am going to do it all. I have no idea what I am going to do for work . . . as much as I would love to get back into healthcare, I suspect I will probably do like my Mom did and get a job in the school district so that I can have the same hours/vacations/days off as the kids. Can you feel the boredom?!
(And Facebook can totally ruin marriages – and I shall soon have the couples counseling bill to prove it!)
Naps? Reading? Peeing ALONE?? Maybe even showring without an audience? Let us know what it’s like! LOL
When I make it that far, I totally will.
Stupid Facebook. I blame Farmville. You should sue them.
Is it sad that blogging has filled a void for me? I’m still struggling with not bringing in the amount of money that I was pre baby….but being able to connect with amazing people and satisfy my writing urges has been fabulous! Loved your guest post on Stir Fry! Even though I was cheated on a crazy amount of times by the old ex…I unflinchingly trust the hubs!
I was cheated on by my past two boyfriends and you know what? I trust Dave so implicitly that really, he could have his Facebook open on my computer and I STILL wouldn’t go into it. Really, I just don’t care.
You know, there’s a market for teen erotica disguised as science fiction, so you’re already halfway there. Just take your Toy with Me story and add a vampire pining over you in the shadows and voila: instant awesome.
Really, I should have written Twilight. Except vampires make me twitchy.
Sugar, if I had even the beginnings of a clue as to how to work as a freelancer, I’d share. I would! Alas, the best I can do is recommend elance.com as a starting point. I don’t even know if that’s a good recommendation…I’ve only perused the site, myself, and am as lost as when I started.
As for writing/publishing…I’m going to go hide under the covers, now. The few times I’ve made a real effort at it have been ego-battering, soul-crushing experiences, and have caused me to doubt whether the people who said they like my work actually read it, or wonder if they were just being nice. I DO have lovely collection of rejection letters. I never knew there were so many polite ways to say “You Suck!!” I keep at it, though. I don’t know if it’s determination or pig-headedness. Only time will tell.
Sigh. If you measure success in dollars, I’ve failed spectacularly. Oh, wait…that means I AM good at something!!
I wish you much success and good fortune, Mizz Becky…as for me, I’m managing to blog daily (your flat Doppelganger paid me a visit again, last week) and keep plugging away at my fiction when I’m not home-schooling the Evil Genius, and working on new music for my band (which nets me as much as a hundred dollars a year – woo-hoo!!)
I am NOT a Nigerian princess, but recently I have won the Spanish National Lottery, a Microsoft contest I didn’t know I’d entered, had a job offer from UNICEF that only entails letting them use my bank account to process funds, and had an American soldier invite me (five times!) to help him smuggle funds out of Iraq via diplomatic courier…so I’m bound to be rolling in it before long!
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
OOOH! A Microsoft Lottery! WOW! Now that is fancy! I do hope that you share with Flat Aunt Becky, my friend. Because she could use some meat on her bones.
I think you’ll be a great free lance writer. All of your blog post are very interesting and I look forward to reading them everyday. I know half the people on my timeline on twitter enjoy them to.
By the way we might be related because I to just found out I’m related to nigerian princesses to!
xoxo
You are so sweet, thank you. And I guess that we’re related! Who knew? Long lost sisters! I always wanted a sister.
what slays me is when my child-less friends assume that staying home with a baby/kids is as carefree as taking a vacation in the Bahamas and they can’t wait to have kids so they don’t have to work so hard.
*suppress cackling laughter (and it must be cackling)*
Go for it freelance-girl. You can totally rock the writer’s circuit. Besides, look at all this experience and recognition you’ve gained.
Jane! As a woman who never had kids I have NEVER thought that staying at home with the kids is like a vacation in the Bahamas.
It is too much work, 24 hours a day!
That is why I have dust-bunnies.
I have dust antelope to play with my dust bunnies. And you’re right. Only some child-free people think that we SAHM’s are relaxing at home.
Well, I hope that I can rock something. Besides the scale, which is totally groaning. Or it would be if I had one.
I’m not sure what a bon-bon is, but I barely have time to catch my own ass these days, so I’m not sure what childless people think we do all day long. Shit, I’d think of work like a vacation some days.
But the grass is always greener.
My mom to this day doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up and she said to me that having that goal ultimately doesn’t matter. She did what she had to do through life to get to where she is and to where her kids (i.e. me) are now. She’s not rich, but she has enough to not worry too much. She’s comfortable and that is all that matters to her.
That’s where I am right now. Doing what I have to do (right now working f/t, part time with the home business, 24/7 with the kidlets, and sacrificing what little my time all the while.) Am I in the place right now where angels are singing to me, NO! Do I occasionally sulk that I’m doing to much, that I don’t give enough time to my kids and send the evil eye out to moms who are stay at home and seemingly perfect. Sure.
But I knot that my time will come. It’s not now. Now it’s time to break my back while I still have the energy to hold myself up and take the blessings that come my way when they come.
I’ll read anything you put out. I think you have the passion to find a new outlet that will help you pay the bills and that’s all networking and chasing and putting time into it. The more you look the easier you’ll find it is to get what you want.
You know, this is exactly why I like you and admire you. Honestly, it is. Thank you. Very, very good comment.
OH! And, I keep trying to subscribe to your blog, and all that I get is your Twitter. I’ll try again.
http://laflacad.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default
ya know if you click on that link…..
LOL
You’ve got a great start….keeeeeeeeeep on going!!!!!!!! You know you can do it!!!!!
We can DO it! Thank you! Can I hire you as my life coach?
Aunt Becky.. I would SO read your stuff, where ever it winds up.. You reach a niche near and dear to my heart..
I found my personal life dream job when I was 7.. don’t ask me why, but I love to teach… Well, usually, except these days when it seems it’s all getting pulled out from underneath me… I might be in the market for something different soon.. I’ve looked.. the only other thing my skill set is good for is ruling a small island nation.. and they all have rulers already. I know. I’ve checked.
So here’s to your job “hunt”. {glasses clinking.. I’m toasting one for you.}
Best wishes on the endeavor!
That’s so awesome that you found your dream job and actually did it. My mother-in-law did the same thing with teaching and she is an amazing teacher. Me? Kids scare me. I’d be a TERRIBLE teacher, but wow.
I’m raising my glass to you. Seriously. You do what I can’t.
Becky, I love reading all the stuff you write…whether it’s here, on someone else’s blog, or facebook. Go ‘head on with your bad self, girl.
Go ‘head girl, go ‘head get down.
Gold digger is Mimi’s favorite song.
Thanks, Gingie, I appreciate it. Seriously. We can DO it.
Go for it. You’re going to hear a lot of buzzy catch phrases, like brand, platform, voice, market forces, cross platform, transmedia, blah blah blah. Just write. And promote.
I will be picking the shit out of your brain. Sorry. Also, want to do another give away of your book here? People love giveaways… But I gave away my last copy. Got one for me that you can send to someone?
Readers Digest! You would rock the funnies lol. And at least its a start.
I best be thinking of some good jokes!
Ok here is your first assignment: Write a book along the lines of “Blogging For Dummies”! With your technical expertise, and your humor, it would be a big hit! I am so proud of you!
You know, I bet I could write an awesome book about that! GOOD CALL! Thank you, my friend.
Oddly, I started out with a Bachelors in Business and Computers. It served me well by helping me meet my husband…and I actually did enjoy my job for some of the time. But sending junk mail for a credit card company is just right above crack whore and right below working for a cigarette company in my book.
So I actually went back to school to become a nurse – there’s the ‘odd’ part. I loved being in school and taking care of patients…but I really wanted baby #3, who came shortly after I was finished with school. I could have gone back to work – but with the economy the way it is (hospitals not hiring new grads) and three that would have to be in daycare, I’m home. I’m hoping to do some sort of per diem thing just to get out there.
As for your relations…I never would have thought you for Nigerian… 🙂
I bet you can find some awesome per diem stuff. I had a temp agency that I worked through that was ALWAYS calling me long after I told them I was super done with them.
I have totally, totally not figured it out yet. My plan has always been: have a couple of babies so I have some more time to figure it out. I can think of things I want to do with my life, but those generally require a degree that I do not have (and getting THAT requires money, which is also do not have). I have a degree. I should probably use it. I do not have the same problem with it you do with your nursing degree. But I’m also fairly certain it’s not my calling, either. Feels like such a damn waste. Why do we force teenagers into choosing the direction of their entire life, again?
You’re SO right. Why make someone at 18 try and figure out WITH NO GUIDANCE what they’re good at? I know you’ll find you’re way too.
Yes. Purple is grapeish. It’s my favorite, actually.
Cherry red is my favorite.
DO it! I’d read you (does that sound remotely sexual…sorry) Seriously, I would pay to read shit you right. And I have read a lot in my short (cough) life. Alot…I like books more than I like my kids. Of course, I like rainbows and grass more than I like my kids somedays…
Do it! You can do it. I’d cheer for you if I had the outfit, I’d sing if I could…ah hell, I’m gonna go now.
Would you read me if I wrote coupons for a living? Because I might be able to maybe find that 😉
Also, I am paying you to be my cheering squad. ALL OF YOU GUYS.
Chase your dreams, girl.
Still looking for my piece.
It’s fucking hard, yo. Maybe it involves pasteurized processed cheesefood. Or taking the fucking awesome pictures you take.
I ended up in my field (speech language pathology) because my mother chose it for me. Surprisingly (and frustratingly), she was right – I love it.
Isn’t it annoying when they’re right?
You will rock at freelance writing ’cause, you know, you win at life and stuff!
I totally win at life. So do you.
I always thought I would be a teacher, until I realized it made me bored as hell. Repetition kills me, and this was not the job for me.
This past year I landed a job that I thought would be a temporary thing, and it turned into my dream job. It’s a lot of work, and a lot of responsibility, but I really, really love it. New things every day, not stuck in an office… I love it. It’s me all over. I like going to work, and I really consider myself lucky.
If I had to pick a job for myself, holy shit I honestly have no idea! I have to say my job found me.
It’s funny how that happens, eh?
I never, EVER thought I could write. I mean, I knew I could RESEARCH write, but that’s as far as I thought it could go. I never realized I’d write for FUN. WHO KNEW?
It’s those things, I think that are just crazy cool.
By the way Good Luck. You already have a bunch of people who love your writing!
Wow. How timely is this post?
I’ve been home for 10 years now as a SAHM. I’m so glad I got to spend this time with my kids, but the novelty is starting to wear off and I find myself fantasizing about a job. Doing what? you might ask. I don’t have a goddamned clue, I would respond.
I just don’t know.
That’s just so frustrating. I know. I’m sorry.
I’m glad you know what you want to do. 🙂
I have two jobs. One I can’t escape and mostly hate, but they keep paying me, and another I do because I love it, and have been doing in one way or another, sometimes volunteer, for a decade.
Knowing what I want, that feels good. Now I just need to get there.
Hooray for finding the missing piece! When you find mine, pick it up and send it to me, would ya? I’m still searching. Do you think anyone will pay me oodles of money to read books all day long? That being said, I’m hereby offering to you for FREE, my proofreading and editing services. You know how to find me. *smooches*
You’re going to regret this. I will also need advice. HONEST advice. And you to kick the shit out of what I do.
Oh, well, honest advice and shit-kicking requires payment. However, I will settle for vicarious smooches of your children’s cheeks as my fee. 😉
Sending you an e-mail with some ideas…
I majored in English because I felt like it! Utterly impractical. And then ended up doing some finance in NYC (all the while bemoaning my lack of passion and love for anything in particular) until my husband felt God’s call and wanted to get his Masters of (in?) Divinity. So we moved last year and he’s in his second year. On a whim, and because it was free, I ended up taking classes for a Masters in Counseling. I wanted to get pregnant and didn’t feel like looking for a temp job. And I fell in love with it. Helping people navigate through problems and giving them some hope: now THAT is a career I can get behind. And now I have a five month old. People ask me when I’m going back to work. I’m still working on my degree, and I plan on more kids, so the answer to that is always, “Eh, when the kids are in school.” Which I’ve found is a good way not to have to elaborate on a question I have no answer for. BUT now, in the back of my mind is this new career that I wouldn’t have found if I hadn’t had a child. That and my blog is what keeps me going some days. Maybe one day I’ll write that book that every English major/writer wants to create. Having a child has helped me find my passion. Who knew?
You’re finding your way! That’s so cool.
Oh, I dwell on this topic so often. Today’s session was while drying my hair in preparation to go to my scintillating and emotionally fulfilling minimum wage part time job as a bookseller. Huzzah! I have absolutely no idea what I want to be when I grow up, and dude, it creeps me the hell out to think I’ll one day be 50 or older and having to ring out customers on Black Friday. Gives me the shakes!
You could always crop dust people with your farts. That always makes me feel better.
Have you thought about technical writing? Or medical writing? With your nursing education, you have a head start. The writing has to be pretty disciplined, but there are a lot of freelancers in either field. Check out the Society for Technical Communication (http://www.stc.org/) and the American Medical Writer’s Association (http://www.amwa.org/)for more information about the opportunities and about the types of training you would need to get started. The job market is tight right now, but it pays pretty well, better than most freelance markets.
And Aunt Becky…usually I don’t comment of errors in people’s blogs. That is kind of rude, isn’t it? But part of being a professional writer is being edited. And after a while, you can even learn to appreciate it. So up there in paragraph 3, “your whole sorted tale” should probably be “your whole sordid tale.”
Good call. Thank you for the advice and the edit. I wrote it while exhausted out of my brain last night after I realized I needed to get something up earlier than I would be able to.
WordPress needs an editing plugin 😉
And once, I got an entire EMAIL of nit-picking edits from my blog. Talk about not quite knowing how to respond.
I plan to win the lottery, for I have no appreciable, marketable skills beyond the ones I already get paid to use. If I could do anything and time, money and reality were out of the equation, I’d host a radio program full of all the bullshit yapping that I end up putting to print on my blog. I like to banter about nothing in particular (quite a skill, huh?) which is part of the reason I blog. All the back and forth in commenting is an enjoyable process to me. I like dialogue.
You’d make a good bartender, then.
I am green with envy that you get to explore the world of writing. Oh how I shall live life vicariously through you….make sure to flirt with hot younger guys too. I would appreciate that.
I’ll wear a great push up bra too, how’s that?
I have a half a degree too and it wasn’t supposed to go down like that. It is what it is, I suppose, but I feel so incomplete.
Loved your guest post at SFA. 🙂
It’s really hard. I feel incomplete too, which is why I’m so afraid that I’ll fail. If I do, it’s going to be that much harder on me.
I’m sorry that it’s hard for you too.
It gives me great comfort to know that real live adults still struggle with career decisions… I’m not alone! I’m happy you have found a direction to follow. 🙂
I think that probably half the world walks around thinking that everyone but them has it figured out, you know?
Maybe you found your missing PEACE in declaring yourself a writer. And by the way, writers are born and you’re clearly one of them. I think a blog that 2000 people read everyday counts as being “published”.
Good luck on the writing and I look forward to your article in Vanity Fair about purple being a flavor, or something like that. 🙂
If I can get someone to PAY me to write an article about purple being a flavor, I will do a victory dance. That would rule.
And thank you. Very, very much.
YAY for you Aunt Bec!! 😀 Sink your teethies in & don’t let go – you’ll do great!
As for me – I LOVE my job, completely, totally & utterly. Every day is a challenge, everyday I learn something new & everyday I feel like I made a difference in some small way – what more could a girl ask for…oh, ok, I also have 4 wonderfully healthy, happy & relatively well-adjusted children, the world’s most amazing hubby & the cutest (if dumbest) dog in the universe 😀 MY world is a wonderful place. Funny thing tho – I was SO looking in the other direction while it happened – I woke up one morning & thought “fuck me! Look where I ended up!” Now, I’m not sure if that’s what “growing up” means – but I’m happy enough to take it 😀
Feeling grown up is a really good feeling. Well, until the dog vomits on the carpet and the baby plays in it. Then I kinda want someone else to take over for me.
But I am happy too, which is really key.
So glad that you are too.
I tried many majors in college. Pre-Med (wanted to be a vet), then I was majoring in Chemistry and I wanted to get my Masters in BioChem. But I realized I hate labs,I like the actual lab, but all the meticulous writing stuff down??? mmm not so much. Also I am super clumsy and knock stuff over and light shit on fire.
Anyway, all those majors involved lots of math. So I got a job at the University tutoring students in the lower level math classes. I loved helping people and I got so excited when someone finally understood what they were doing. My mom is a math teacher and I DID NOT want to follow her footsteps but, eventually I could not deny it. I love teaching math, I get to teach a wide range (freshmen in Alg 1 and seniors in AP Calculus) and my husband is at the same school.
The other day my husband was all excited for 2nd period so he could tell a kid his awesome score on a test. We were discussing how fun it is to see a kid really succeed in a way they hadn’t expected. Then we looked at each other and realized we really have found our calling. Teenagers are a pain in the ass, but we like em.
I think you will do well, you are an awesome writer, and you enjoy it, which is all that matters.
I am happy doing what I do, and I don’t need to make a living doing it, except for my own ego.
Teaching is a calling, that’s for sure, and I’m so glad that you do it. Honestly, I’m so glad because it’s one of those I could never do it jobs. College level, yes, but anything else, no. I TA-ed while I was in college for A/P, Chemistry, Organic, Bio/Chem and I loved that.
Mad props to you for doing it.
whoever decided that kids in their early twenties should be pressured to choose a career should be drawn and quartered. i STILL don’t know what i want to be when i grow up. (other than a princess, and a vampire, and maybe a pirate.) i probably just want to be happy. i just don’t know how well that pays now-a-days. =)
I am a zombie hunter, too. Did I tell you that?
Being happy, well, that’s worth a lot.
Um, Bex, really? I am a freelance writer. Now I’m a blogger. The blog happened because of that silly writing business. One day one of my editors was like, “Hey, you should blog about all the stuff that we can’t run.” And I was like, “Uh, okay…”
I mean not that I’m particularly good at writing or blogging, but I seem to be decent enough to not be sacrificed as the virgin (ha, ha, ha…ha), so I have that going for me.
Email me and I can tell you how to get in, stay in, and get paid (sometimes well, sometimes not so well). In exchange you can help me scheme on how we make my dreams of a Glee future ex-husband come true (and the occasional “I like this…I hate this about the crap you write” email)
I think me, you and bad ass geek are all related:) After I gave the prince my SS# and my credit card info he said fairies would fly out of my ass and pay me in car wash tokens! I am soooo excited!
I just love you!
You are a great writer and I will gladly give you some of my ass car wash tokens if you would write for me!
Love Tawnia
Your prince sounds fantastically like mine! I hope that he isn’t double crossing me, or I will have to beat him silly.
I’m so happy for you. This is definitely your calling! I’m a hairdresser and whenever I talk about going back to school people suggest I go to nursing school. Uh, no thankyou. Still waiting for a degree in finding a mute, blind sugar daddy who is way too busy counting his gazillions to care whether I brush my hair or ever put on non elastic waist pants again.
Sugar daddies are the best. I have no doubt that you can find one.
As commenter #170, I’m not sure if there is anything I can say here that hasn’t already been said a million times. But the truth is, I haven’t found my way. At all.
I used to want to be a journalist. Growing up, that was what I wanted to do. In between wanting to be an astronaut, which I only really gave up on a few years ago. But I got my degree and I trained as a journalist…and I found I hated it. I liked writing, but I wasn’t nearly as good as most of the other people on my course, and I really sucked at most of the other elements, like learning shorthand. I hated wandering the streets in the cold and the rain looking for a story. But like you, I thought I could fake it til I make it — I never made it, and ended up working in a pub. I convinced myself *that* was what I wanted instead, to run my own place and lalala it would be wonderful. Except nobody wanted to give me that chance.
So I jacked it in and went to work in Public Relations. Skip ahead a few years and it comes and goes — I keep starting to make my way, and then like the portal into John Malkovich’s head, I get dumped out on my arse. I’m now in sales because I didn’t want to be redundant and unemployed any more, and it doesn’t feel authentic. It doesn’t feel me.
I dream about going to South America and rescuing sea turtles or being a spear fisherman, but I guess all I am is a dreamer — and that’s not many opportunities there. I worry that I’ll look back on my life and feel like I rushed through all the parts when I should have been paying attention.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dreaming. And for what it’s worth, you should go rescue sea turtles. Sounds way cool.
Oh Aunt Becky, I just have to tell you. Ive been reading you blog for like 6 months, plus I read the entire Amelia story one day when I couldnt sleep at 5am. (My boyfriend entered the room to find me with tears streaming down my cheeks yelling “go away! this is important! I have to finish this!”) I love you because a) we have the exact same sense of humor
b)you are a great mom and 3) you tell it like it is…no sugar coating necessary. I wish I was your next door neighbor so I would have an excuse to come hang out with you and swap ridiculous stories (creepy? yeah maybe but listen, im on like my 4th cup of coffee and my 4th night shift in a row in the ICU working as-you guessed it a nurse) PS when you wrote that med/surg might as well be ass/butts I fell out of my chair and was laughing so hard i was crying. (to the extreme horror of my coworkers and patients). So, yeah, in a nutshell you are awesome, and with writing talent like this, im sure you have many other wonderful talents that you could tap into (or you could always write a book and be rich forever?)
love
angela RN (which might as well stand for rundown and nauseous) (Im losing it!)
I’m so glad that I found you too. Ass/Butts, indeed.
Your comment made me smile and maybe get a little misty.
xoxo
I feel exactly as you do. Although I don’t have kids, I’ve been out of the workforce for quite a while. My husband and I have moved all over the place for his job. Now that we are in one spot, I’ve been trying to figure out exactly what I can do. So, I started a blog and keep hoping to be discovered. With about a gazillion blogs out there I find that being found doubtful but I hope. Good luck to you.
I just sent you an email!
Irony — You get married and everybody is asking when you’re going to have kids (as if it’s their business.) You do have kids and then everyone is asking when you are going to go back to work aka. “something important”.
Aaaagh, shut UP people.
Doesn’t that make you want to stab them? Like, uh, what is it that you think that I do all day long?
That sounds great! That’s what Vered of MomGrind did, and now she’s also doing online marketing for people.
I bet that this is a perfect fit for Vered. I’m so happy for her!
I really understand your situation and wish it was me that had it figured out. Don’t know what I want to do or even will do when my kids are all in school. Don’t want to grow up but know someday I will have to. Can’t wait to hear about some of your upcoming projects
I just know that you’ll figure it out too. Trust me, if I can figure out what I’m going to do, you can. I’m about as mixed up as they come.
Stopping by from Stir-fry to say my ex-husband and I are friends on FB. lol
I would love to do some freelance writing. Let us know how it works out.
I will absolutely let you know how it works out! So glad to have met you!
I am friends with no one of intrigue on FB. Some blog people, which is awesome, but that’s about it for intrigue.
I have so Been there Becky— infact I think Im still there.
I’ve thought about freelancing as well but I have no idea where to begin– I contribute to a few sites without pay— but to get paid? no idea where to begin… and its kind of sad really, that there arent more sites that do pay. You know?
Anyway– well thats my little rant. lol
I think you have to start pretty small before you can get bigger, right? I’m okay with writing for free, actually. It’s what I do here!
176 comments. Shit, you’re not actually going to read this are you? If you do…I’m popping by from SciFi’s site. Loved the interview. Laughed so much my dh thinks I fell off my rocker.
Anywho, I am like you. I feel like maybe I should get a REAL job and stop playing house but what on earth would I do?? I have 3/4 a degree in marketing/advertising and two small kids. Going back to school is not an option at this point.
I write for a literary motherhood magazine and we are always looking for guest pieces, it may be worth giving a look –
http://www.themotherhoodmuse.com
If you are interested in finding freelance stuff and want a few places to look, feel free to email me.
I absolutely read every single comment that I get (it shows up on my dashboard even if you comment on a post from 2004 as brand new) and crochet them into wee wall hangings because I love them. And I look popular because every time I email you, it adds a comment. Very fancy pants.
I’m absolutely interested in writing for http://motherhoodmuse.com and am off to check them out and send you a PROPER email.
Cheers!
I haven’t found my way yet, but I have a few ideas. We just moved across the country, east coast to west, so I am taking a minute to regroup, housebreak the new puppy, and come up with the next course of action. YOU, my dear, will make a fantastic writer. Will you have a place where we can read your clips?
I’m going to set up a site for my professional (HA!) stuff so that I can send people there and when I do, I’ll send you guys there too. It’ll just be some reworked blog stuff in a more professional looking site, I think so that I can send potential clients there. Less swearing and boob shots.
And thank you. You are so sweet.
If I’m able to make it beyond that, I’ll be shouting it from my blogtops. Any ideas as to what you’re going to do?
I have a degree in journalism from a top school, and I concentrated on editing, English grammar, blah blah… I am thinking about being a professional red pen — an editor-for-hire or a proofreader-for-hire. I might move into SEO too, which I think would be cool, but that would be much later. Brian gets 4 weeks of vacation a year plus I can go on all his trips if I want, so I want to do something ‘portable’ so to speak. And the idea of getting PAID to correct people (my finest skill) is totally awesome.
See, now, I’d be a lousy editor. I hate editing, if you can’t tell that by my lackluster grammatical errors. But that’s a great career for someone smart like you.
could you work as a NICU nurse or does that require specific training?
I could work as a NICU nurse, absolutely, maybe when the kids are a bit older. Right now, it’s too chaotic for me to work outside the home.
I found my way completely by accident (and with some help — ’cause Lord only knows I had no idea what I really wanted to do when I grew up or what I would be good at). I was in grad school and needed a job to make some money. (As an aside, I’m doing nothing related to my schooling… or only very minimally related, if one counts writing/editing skills that I may or may not have honed during my years in school.)
I found a student hourly job at a science institute on campus. And I’ve never left. Well, I’m not a student hourly anymore… haven’t been for quite some time. But I’m still at the same institute. First, I was a glorified secretary. Then one of the scientists took a chance on me. He needed help pulling together a major proposal for funding. He needed an editor. While we didn’t get the funding, I had done well and began working on more writing and editing assignments. The institute also needed someone to work on web pages. I was asked if I was interested in learning HTML and helping. Sounded interesting enough. So I did. Soon after I was hired into an editor/web designer position at the institute.
I can’t imagine doing anything else. (Ironically enough, when I was in elementary school, I thought I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. I even started my great American novel. Maybe I did know what I wanted to be after all — just needed to listen to myself better. Or something.)
Isn’t it funny how we fall where we do?
I never, ever, ever would have guessed that I had an aptitude for writing. This was a complete accident, genuinely. A very happy one, just like yours. Grateful, very grateful for it.
Ok so I wrote about a similar subject recently and a friend sent me the following thoughts:
“I know EXACTLY how you feel. My only advice is to re-invent yourself, over and over…and eventually you’ll be doing something to make money that is closer to what you want, if not exactly what you wanted…worked for me. Desperation engenders creativity…”
I’m not sure if it’s helpful or not because it just annoyed me. Why? Because (1) I am not mature enough to process that kind of crap and (2) I want what I want when I want it.
P.S.
there is soooo a “and then I pooed in my pants” niche market out there!
http://www.theladyslounge.com
You know what, we should invent a pooed our pants market, shouldn’t we?
I can’t reinvent myself, because I’m the same person I’ve been for, uh, I don’t know, 24 years? Give or take some weight, height, children, husband and schooling, I am.
I’ve been struggling with this lately. My kids are quickly growing up and when they are both in school I’m going to be so lost if I can’t figure out a job/career that I would actually enjoy. I’ve been a SAHM for so long that the idea of actually LEAVING THE HOUSE to work is kind of icky. Not that I’m averse to actual work but all I REALLY know how to do (well) is take care of kids.
Anyway! I think freelance writing is a great move for you. You’ve got the talent (both technical and… emotional? that’s not the word I’m looking for but you know what I mean, right?). Just don’t forget to link us to your stuff so we can stalk… uh, read, you wherever you may be. 🙂
I know you’ll find your way too, duder. You’ve got talent oozing out of your ears and then some, so rock on.
Hahaha, you caught the identity crisis virus! Now you have to pay me half of your international lottery winnings and tell the inheritance police that I am the true heir.
Freelancing is hard, tough, and totally rewarding (if you hit the right vein, so to speak). If you’re going the freelance site route (elance, etc.) beware of undervaluing yourself. You don’t want to be a 100 articles for $5 hack 😉
Oh hells no. I will be all, “I’m Aunt Becky, bitch!”
And thank you, I won’t. Very good advice.
Woot! You rock. Follow your heart, and your dreams. This is where integrity lies and you will always feel the better for sticking with your integrity, regardless of whether any particular decision works out or not. I’m thrilled for you. And if I’m honest, maybe a little bit jealous. xx
Where your heart lies, there your treasure is also? I totally butchered that, didn’t I?
It feels good to have a path. I have been pathless for so long. Floundering and just waiting for the next thing to happen.
Good for you for finding your missing piece, Aunt Becky! I’m pretty sure mine has four wheels and a Mercedes symbol on the front. And I’m pretty sure I’m going to be waiting a long ass time to find it.
But seriously, I hope I too just “know” when I am ready to go back to work. I loved my job as a mental health counselor and would like to go back someday… just not today. Or tomorrow. Or next week. Or in the next year or so….
It’s all about knowing what’s right for you, but you know that.
I have a BA in Journalism and I recently got back into writing and love it. The most important thing is to pursue what you love, whether or not you can make a living out of it. You need to do what feeds the soul.
And that’s a beautiful way of saying it. You’re exactly right. I don’t have to do anything. It all will feed my soul. Thank you for saying it so well.
Totally emailed you. Am now brainstorming ways to get your Glee husband.
Great to see you finding your place.
I think I’ve found mine. I know I couldn’t not work some part of my week and despite all the frustrations of working in public service in a kick ass recession it makes me so much happier than when i was at big nasty commercial law outfit. Plus I’ve been saying I want to do this since I was 14 so glad I really am. Not to say that I would carry on when someone hands me a gazillion million in the lottery though….
How’s this? The next time I get one of my Nigerian Princes sending me a notification of inheriting a sum of 100000000000 pounds (I get those emails at LEAST every other day), I will send it to you. Because we’ve been friends a long time and I like you a lot.
Ah. How exciting it must be to have made a decision and have a direction. I’m very happy for you, and wish you the very best of luck 🙂
As for myself, I don’t hate my job, and I could possibly even like it – but I do hate the lifestyle that it requires. Which is as frustrating, if not more so, than actually hating my job I think. Who knows?
This post has too many comments and I’m not up to reading them all 🙂 But I’m curious – what percentage *have* found there way? And do they have any wisdom to impart upon the rest of us? 🙂
The comments seem to be mixed. A lot of us have found where we’re going and and there are some who are still looking. What is interesting (and what I suspected) was that, like me, many people simply fell into something where they felt they belonged.
Dave “fell” into finance (he’s a software engineer) and I literally stumbled into writing. Funny how that works out.
I took classes at mediabistro in NYC to get started writing freelance. They have online classes. They also have articles for premium members with advice on pitching articles to different magazines, which is very helpful.