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Aunt Becky Does A Public Service Announcement

July28

Dear World,

Do not, under any circumstances whatsoever, eat over a half a package of bacon. Sure, it may taste good going down, the grease lovingly filling your guts, but I assure you that 12 hours later, when you’re curled up in bed weeping, you’re going to wish you’d never seen a pork product in your life.

Not that I would know anything about it.

Love,

Your Aunt Becky

posted under It's Becky, Bitch

45 Comments to

“Aunt Becky Does A Public Service Announcement”

On July 28th, 2008 at 5:28 pm -Seraphimred- Says:
You at least cooked it first, right?
On July 28th, 2008 at 5:32 pm Karen Says:
My stomach hurts just thinking about it.

Um….I will just add do not eat a raw garlic and olive oil sandwich. It may sound like a good idea at the time, but the consequences are almost deadly.
On July 28th, 2008 at 5:43 pm Andy (echaos) Says:
Well now that depends on the type of bacon: Canadian back bacon, maple smoked, panchetta each has their pros and cons when consumed by the pound.
On July 28th, 2008 at 5:45 pm apathetic bliss Says:
Damn! Now you tell me *clenching stomach*.
On July 28th, 2008 at 5:47 pm kate Says:
remain vegetarian for another three years. check.
On July 28th, 2008 at 6:07 pm giggleblue Says:
oh, lord. that had to be horrible! i hope it’s all out now…

poor thing!
On July 28th, 2008 at 6:27 pm Jenn Says:
Ewww. I don’t eat pig stuff. Ever. Now I’m doubly glad that I don’t. Hope you’re all right now!
On July 28th, 2008 at 6:28 pm Marie Says:
Oh my gosh I just ate whole canteloupe I am scared my ass is going to explode.

I wish I had bacon I am going to go look.

Someone needs to stop me because I think I am out of control.
On July 28th, 2008 at 6:49 pm baseballmom Says:
Oh god, bacon is a food group in my opinion. I was just craving a big ol’ BLT. Sounds SO good.
On July 28th, 2008 at 6:52 pm Anita Says:
Don’t eat a one pound hamburger either. Meat poisoning is a real thing people!

Mmmmm bacon!
On July 28th, 2008 at 7:08 pm SciFi Dad Says:
SciFi Dad’s addendum: if you’re gonna eat half a package, who do you think you’re kidding? Just eat the whole damn thing.
On July 28th, 2008 at 7:33 pm Maria Says:
I went crazy a month or so ago and talked my dad into making me Pork Belly. Which for the uninitiated is basically the biggest fucking slab of bacon you could imagine. This makes sense as it is, literally, the belly of a pig. In other words, blissful obscene yumminess.

I porked out on it (hur hur hur) and ate lots of slimey fluffy amazing rendered fat and then died for like seventeen hours straight burping piggy tastes and swearing to never, ever approach pork products again.

But I still love bacon. A lot.
On July 28th, 2008 at 7:36 pm Kate Says:
You may need to go have your gallbladder removed. Stat.
On July 28th, 2008 at 7:50 pm Susan Says:
Has the orange grease shot out of your ass yet?
On July 28th, 2008 at 8:03 pm kalakly Says:
Yep, been there, done that, the WHOLE package. Yummy. And that was when I still thought of myself as a “vegetarian”, at least a non red meat eater, cuz bacon, it’s really just fat, not meat, right?
I never did like “labels” much…
Gotta run I hear a pig calling my name.
On July 28th, 2008 at 8:33 pm sara Says:
Bacon always smells so good too! I hope you’re feeling better soon and without your tummy ache. I ate a whole bag of doritos yesterday and paid dearly about 2 hours later. You are very sweet to me and good for my self esteem 🙂 And for that I thank you! If it makes you feel better – after I ate the doritos, I swear even my poo smelled like the orangey powder, LOL! Now that is sexy. Eww I’m grossing myself out – I’ll stop. Hugs!
On July 28th, 2008 at 8:49 pm Mumma Boo Says:
Urp! You’ll do anything to get that soap taste out of your mouth, won’t you? Feel better soon!
On July 28th, 2008 at 8:52 pm Holly Says:
Yum Yum. Try eating at least half of it wrapped about cream cheese filled jalopeno’s. YUM….LOL

I tagged you sweetie. I apologize now. 🙂 I promise one of these days I’ll find more bloggy friends to tagg.
On July 28th, 2008 at 8:53 pm Heather Says:
Add to that a ‘family’ size jar of kosher dills. I still die a little just thinking of that bad decision.
On July 28th, 2008 at 8:55 pm CLC Says:
I love pork anything, even hot dogs. But a half of pound of bacon? That’s impressive.
On July 28th, 2008 at 9:17 pm g Says:
mmmmmmm pig
On July 28th, 2008 at 9:44 pm mrs.spit Says:
Oh my. That’s a lot of bacon . . .

But we won’t mention eating an entire cheescake either, will we now?
On July 28th, 2008 at 9:46 pm Dr. Grumbles Says:
Thanks for the advice 😉
On July 28th, 2008 at 9:52 pm Lola Says:
You just made me hungry even though I am so stuffed I could vomit. I think I’ll have bacon for breakfast and a BLT for lunch. You can eat half a package, but you have to break it up into two meals. Moderation, my dear.
On July 28th, 2008 at 10:03 pm swirl girl Says:
On behalf of pigs everywhere, thank you.

😉
On July 28th, 2008 at 10:09 pm Tiffany Says:
Oh that is a good thing to know…lol..
I am sure you are still draggin your arse on the ground like a dog 😉

poor thing..I feel for you…
On July 28th, 2008 at 10:15 pm Kyddryn Says:
Oh, dear, I am so very sorry.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K, who is making a note of that
On July 28th, 2008 at 10:57 pm giggleblue Says:
oh, wait! i got one!!

“the sausage does NOT like bacon”

i actually thought about that and had to come back and tell you… yeah, i’m lame. so what?
On July 28th, 2008 at 11:54 pm Heather P. Says:
Pork was a serious craving that became an addiction while I was pregnant with my little man. Oh yeah, and here’s what you need to know, prior to being pregnant I hadn’t eaten pork in about 10 years because my dermatologist told me that the sulfites caused acne!
Hope you feel better soon. And you know “giggleblue” probably has a point there-if you had eaten sausage you might not be sick! LOL!
On July 29th, 2008 at 1:00 am Vered Says:
Thanks for the heads up.

Hope you feel better soon. 🙂
On July 29th, 2008 at 6:08 am birdpress Says:
Blame it on the fetus! It’s trying to distingquish itself from the other little sausages by demanding a different pork product.
On July 29th, 2008 at 6:40 am heather Says:
BWAHAHAHA Half a package of bacon? You light weight!
On July 29th, 2008 at 6:50 am niobe Says:
I saw a site somewhere (yes, I could look it up, but I’m way too lazy) giving directions on how to weave a handy, yet decorative, placemat out of strips of bacon.

Just in case you’re looking for something to do with the other half of the package.
On July 29th, 2008 at 7:54 am Kristine Says:
But, but…if I can’t eat a half a package of bacon, what will I have for lunch?
On July 29th, 2008 at 7:55 am Badass Geek Says:
Been there. Done that.

Indigestion is a bitch.
On July 29th, 2008 at 9:02 am Heather Says:
LMAO!! Sounds like something I would do!! 🙂
On July 29th, 2008 at 10:12 am gypsygrrl Says:
this could have been easily avoided had you invited some fellow bacon fans over to SHARE… just sayin’…

hope you are feeling better now!

your BBFF,
gypsy
On July 29th, 2008 at 10:25 am PiquantMolly Says:
Wow.

WOW.
On July 29th, 2008 at 11:16 am mandy Says:
you ONLY ate half? What’s WRONG with you?? I lurve bacon…mmm..

but the warning goes for jalapenos too-they are just as fiery on the way out!
On July 29th, 2008 at 11:47 am chris Says:
Ahhh shit! I just got back from the Philippines and I missed eating bacon. So what do I do as soon as I got home, I ate a package full.
On July 29th, 2008 at 3:31 pm KC Says:
My god woman. That sounds painful.
On July 29th, 2008 at 3:51 pm kbreints Says:
Craving much?

*snicker*

“but the baby wanted it!”
On August 1st, 2008 at 6:06 am A Soldier's Girl Says:
mmmm….I love me some bacon! At least you have a good reason ~ you’re pregnant. I have no excuse for eating an entire package of bacon…which I have done on several occasions! 🙂
On August 1st, 2008 at 8:52 am Elle Michelle Says:
You need this:

WAKE n’ BACON

It’s “an alarm clock that wakes you with the smell and sizzle of cooking bacon.”

(I come across some weird shit in my research at work…)
On August 4th, 2008 at 5:28 pm Jerseygirl89 Says:
Dude, thanks for taking care of that craving for me.

And I hope you’re feeling better.