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Auggie The Doggie


I approached having a puppy with the same trepidation that most people approach having a root canal. I wasn’t being coy when I said I’d never wanted a puppy. People who have raised puppies are always in an uproar about “never wanting to do it again” and “it was the hardest thing. Ever.”

Stupidly I listened to them.

Auggie came home with us, and a rock formed where my stomach had been merrily sitting hours before, and I panicked (inwardly). What the FUCK was I thinking? I thought to myself, here I am, finally having weened the kid and insisted he sleep through the night, like it or not, so I celebrate by BUYING A PUPPY?

Epic bad judgement, I told myself.

Yesterday night, it dawned on me as I waited for things to get REALLY HARD: yes, having a puppy is hard work, but absolutely easier than either of my children as babies. It’s the same nimrods who chuckle and tell you to kiss your sleep goodbye when you tell them that you’re pregnant that tell you how hard puppies are.

When you’re used to breast-feeding, being THE ONLY ONE who can comfort the baby, and NOT LETTING THEM CRY IT OUT BECAUSE THEY MIGHT HYPERVENTILATE THEN DIE, a puppy is a snap. Sure, he pees on the carpet now and again, sure I have to take him out every hour or so, and sure he doesn’t ALWAYS like it when I put him in his cage, BUT IT’S NOT THAT BAD! Especially when you compare the level of need to the level of need of a baby.

And to make matters better, the most unexpected side effects have also occurred:

1) Ben considers the puppy his puppy and is helping me out a shit ton. Despite having a menagerie for a house, Ben has never cared a bit about any of the animals. Sure, he’s fine with them, but it’s indifference at best. Now, he is thrilled to help with his pup.

2) Cash, the world’s most aggressive houseplant has taken a shine to the baby puppy. This is the dog who I cannot take out on walks alone with Alex because I cannot wrestle Cash while ensuring Alex’s safety should another dog come along. I have literally been in the middle of a dog fight with Cash, and had to yank all 40 pounds of him away and carry him home all while screaming for help (the other dogs owner was INSIDE and had LEFT HER DOG OUTSIDE). THAT was a fun time, LET ME TELL YOU.

So, after three days, the rock in my belly has lessened, and I’m feeling pretty okay with the whole situation. Our house is full of life again.


I’m trying to catch the proportions of the puppy, but I haven’t yet been able to illustrate just how teeny-tiny he is.

The houseplant in (in)action:

posted under It's Becky, Bitch
35 Comments to

“Auggie The Doggie”

  1. On May 14th, 2008 at 10:59 am kbreints Says:

    Oh… I want a houseplant of my very own.

    Place a shoe next to the new one… that will help us to see his size!

  2. On May 14th, 2008 at 11:09 am kalakly Says:

    Now them there are some mighty fine pups! If I wasn’t desperately trying to find homes for the 5 kittens that were born in my rafters a few weeks back, I might even consider getting me a pooch. No. That’s a lie. But, still, yours sure are perty:)

  3. On May 14th, 2008 at 11:10 am Katie Says:

    What kind of dog is that? I LOVE HIM! I want one – but once I’m done with BFing… Right? That’s how you do it, right? finish BFing, sleep through the night once, and then get a dog?

  4. On May 14th, 2008 at 11:23 am kim Says:

    I think this will be just great for Ben! I’m very happy for you, those dogs are effin beauties.

  5. On May 14th, 2008 at 11:23 am KC Says:

    Awww – it’s an Auggie glamour shot! Look at those paws! I want to eeet them!

    PS – I may come out to the ‘burbs Friday. You gonna be around?

  6. On May 14th, 2008 at 11:26 am Vered - MomGrind Says:

    I don’t want a puppy either. I get that it’s easy compared with raising a child, but it just seems like one more responsibility, you know?

    Anyway, I’m glad it’s working out for you. I do think that a dog can truly enrich your life.

  7. On May 14th, 2008 at 11:28 am g Says:

    Seriously, I think that is the most adorable animal ever. I hope he never grows up and gets fugly.

  8. On May 14th, 2008 at 11:34 am Jenn Says:

    I’m such an idiot. All this time (until this very post!), I thought you were just personifying a houseplant (you know, being your hilarious smartass self). I repeat: I’m such an idiot.

  9. On May 14th, 2008 at 11:52 am elthecubbiechick Says:

    Oh My Gosh he is too cute! Ben and Alex are lucky to be raised with well loved animals.

  10. On May 14th, 2008 at 11:59 am Sara Says:

    So cute. And I must agree, that puppies are easier than babies. We got Tater, when Z was 5 months old, and I just found out I was pregnant with z. He’s still the best behaved kid I have!!!

  11. On May 14th, 2008 at 12:05 pm Mrs.Spit Says:


    Puppies really aren’t that hard. Honest. They require care and attention and they have accidents (and they go through a phase when they are teething, that they might chew things you’d rather they wouldn’t). HOnestly, when I look at friends that are still getting up with their children three years later, yep, I’d take the puppy.

    And again, awwww, that’s the cutest little face. (yes, I’m talking in baby talk. Bugger off!)

  12. On May 14th, 2008 at 12:25 pm theramblinghousewife Says:

    I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again .. .

    That is in fact the cutest doggie EVER!!

    How could you not LOVE him? 🙂

  13. On May 14th, 2008 at 12:47 pm DOC Says:

    Adorable !!

  14. On May 14th, 2008 at 12:49 pm Pauline Says:

    He is so damn cute!!

  15. On May 14th, 2008 at 1:09 pm Cassie Says:

    Puppies aren’t that hard! I’ve never even heard that. If you can just keep him from chewing on things, you’ll be fine. Granted my dog is over a year old and still isn’t 100% house broken yet (oops!) but he’s gotten much better!

  16. On May 14th, 2008 at 1:10 pm lindz Says:

    did you call me a nimrod?

  17. On May 14th, 2008 at 1:20 pm CLC Says:

    What a cute pup!

  18. On May 14th, 2008 at 2:40 pm tash Says:

    Aww. I’m torn on the puppy/baby thing: puppies move faster, earlier. bad. They chew remotes earlier. Babies have that time where they don’t move much, and I like that. Helps get used to them in general. But: Puppies also seem to pick up directions quicker than children — a couple hotdogs, and my puppy learned “sit” and “stay” and a bunch of other stuff he still does 8 years later. My kid? “Sit?” Not so much. irregardless of hotdog. And I’ll take pooping in the yard or on a walk vs. cleaning a diaper/bum and going through potty training ANY DAY.

    The cute factor seems to be a draw. Hmm.

  19. On May 14th, 2008 at 2:54 pm Coco Says:

    Oh, I luuuuurrrrve Augie. Yes I do. I want to squish him next to my face.

    Good thing I don’t live nearby, huh? Heh.

  20. On May 14th, 2008 at 3:06 pm b Says:

    Laurie Notaro (one of my fave authors) wrote about bringing a puppy home. She and her husband marveled at how calm and sweet..just laid back the pup was. …UNTIL the anesthesia from the pup being neutered wore off..then the pup cornered them on the couch while foaming at the mouth. I think the title of that chapter was..”I think at night it flies.”

    Auggie Doggie is very, very cute.

  21. On May 14th, 2008 at 3:51 pm birdpress Says:

    He’s so cute!!! Is he a chihuahua mix?

    I agree with whoever said you need to put something else in the pic for size comparison, but not a shoe, because they aren’t a standard size. Maybe a cell phone or a pen or something.

    I didn’t think it was too hard raising a puppy and I never had kids. But mine was a standard poodle puppy and I don’t think they are as difficult as the little guys. I bet you are a great puppy mom with all your mommy experience!

  22. On May 14th, 2008 at 3:55 pm Amy Says:

    Aww, Auggie and Cash are both very good looking kids!

    I am glad that the rock in your tummy has gone away, Auggie will be fun for all of you!

  23. On May 14th, 2008 at 4:36 pm mandy Says:

    You are a BRAVE woman. I love the “glass is half-full” way of thinking you’ve got going on there.

    Cute puppy!

    We just bought a puppy too (about a month or more ago) and we returned her two days later! I couldn’t keep up. Mine went out like, every 60 seconds. SO you totally have it good over there with once an hour.

  24. On May 14th, 2008 at 5:02 pm Ames Says:


  25. On May 14th, 2008 at 6:23 pm Calliope Says:

    still have not forgiven you for not naming him Vincent D’Onofrio.

  26. On May 14th, 2008 at 7:59 pm Holly Says:

    He is so cute. You could poke holes in the box and mail it to me. 🙂

  27. On May 14th, 2008 at 9:08 pm shay Says:

    The last comment I made before we actually got a puppy was, “I’d rather have another baby than a dog!”

    I was sooooooooooo wrong. I LOVE her! LOVE LOVE LOVE! And they are easier for all the reasons you stated. I am shocked to find myself one of “those” people.

    Oh and I love your houseplant too! He’s a beaut!!! I love big doggies!!!
    Oh and your new puppy….cuteness!

  28. On May 14th, 2008 at 10:03 pm Emily R Says:

    I still think that, at this point in my life, a dog might push me over the edge. Fortunately, the boys want a cat.

    But, I wish I lived next door to you so I could PET your dog.

  29. On May 14th, 2008 at 10:30 pm Heather Says:

    See there. Children and dogs are a perfect mix! Auggie is terribly cute — you know, though, you need a female something in the Casa de la Sausage. Of course, this way you needn’t share your throne, right?

  30. On May 14th, 2008 at 10:37 pm Kristen Says:

    She is adorable! I am glad she is settling in well.

    hope you are doing alright Becky, been thinking of you lots especially on happy/sad Mother’s Day.

  31. On May 15th, 2008 at 7:37 am Five Husbands Says:

    I am loving that puppy.

  32. On May 15th, 2008 at 11:40 am giggleblue Says:

    the puppy is a cutie!! i say forget the negativity about puppies and babies. those people don’t know what their talking about!

  33. On May 15th, 2008 at 12:17 pm honeywine Says:

    You and KC are getting to me with the dogs! I want him. Pascal totally needs a brother. And, now, (sigh) I must whine until I get him. Pleeeeaaasssseee….

  34. On May 15th, 2008 at 5:02 pm Dr. Grumbles Says:

    cutest puppy ever!

  35. On May 17th, 2008 at 8:02 am LAS Says:

    Oh my gosh – that puppy is soooooo cute!

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