Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

A Pink State Of Mind


When I was pregnant with Ben, all I wanted (and thought) about was how much I really wanted to have a baby girl. I was beyond floored that my child was a boy, when I saw his twig and dangle-berries floating merrily in his sea of amniotic fluid. And I’d be lying if I told you that it was an easier mindset to frame.

See, when you have a baby with a man you hate, the last thing you want is a son that may turn out just like him. I wanted the son, sure, but did I really want one JUST LIKE HIS FATHER? I guess it’s kinda hard to explain unless you’ve been through it.

When the ultrasound tech asked me if I wanted to know what I was having when I was pregnant with Alex, I can honestly tell you that I was Zen with either result. Over the 5 years between them, I’d gotten over cleaning the privates (very, very different and weird), gotten over the ugly clothes, and started to embrace all things boy. But I was indifferent with the result of our humpin’. Providing the baby was healthy, I was okay with either gender.

And when we got pregnant this time, after my two-in-a-row miscarriages, I spent the first many weeks pretending that I was not, in fact, pregnant. Mainly so that I could safely function for the rest of my family, rather than be consumed with worry.

While I was thrilled when the US tech pronounced this baby healthy three weeks before Thursday, since we had to go BACK for the heart and brain views, I still worried. I mean, it’s not like a child can live without those, right? And when she said that I MIGHT (but don’t do any shopping–she warned) be having a girl, I suddenly realized that this, THIS was what I had wanted.

I’m sure that I’d wanted it all along, the daughter to my other two sons, but I don’t know that I ever admitted it to myself. What good was hoping for something so out of my control that it’s laughable? I know that there are ways to do this, but I was pretty happy taking my chances.

It wasn’t until she told me that I might be having a girl (or at least a penile-y challenged boy) that I realized just how MUCH I’d wanted it. I wanted it so much that I’d see little girls during that three week wait and hope furiously that I wouldn’t be the creepy older woman secretly mourning not having produced a daughter.

So when immediately after putting the goop and the transducer on my belly, she said, “Looks like you ARE having a daughter” I might have cried a little. Perhaps more than a little. Being someone that rarely cries in the absence of physical pain, this shocked me.

Several long minutes later, having pronounced my daughter the picture of help, the Sausages were allowed back to see their sister.

Ben had been secretly pining for a sister, too, so this was incredibly welcome news. He was so tickled that the formerly cold US tech offered him not only his own picture, but a frame to put it in (Thank you, Similac!).

Even Alex stopped his normal wiggly antics to sit in silence in Dave’s arms while he was shown His Baby. Then, once Dave lovingly put the picture of Ben’s new baby into the frame, Alex promptly stole it and wandered around the waiting room to show the roomful of patients “his baby.”

Looks like The Sausages are all pretty excited about the new addition. Which I’ll savor for as long as THAT lasts.

And I haven’t stopped shopping long enough to eat, which is really saying something. Any ideas where I can get some decent girl clothes that don’t have “princess” written on them? Or look like they’re designed for miniature strippers?

50 Comments to

“A Pink State Of Mind”

  1. On October 4th, 2008 at 11:32 am Em Says:

    As unpolitically correct as it can possibly be (don’t hate people, any thought you have, I’ve already thought it), I envy you more than you can ever possibly imagine.

    I will go to the grave without knowing the joy a daughter can bring (and NO, daughter-in-laws don’t count). Most days I pretend it doesn’t really bother me. On some days, it’s hard to hide.

    Congratulations on your wonderful double blessing – a healthy child, and your heart’s desire.


  2. On October 4th, 2008 at 11:43 am Badass Geek Says:

    This will definately be a new experience for you. I’m glad you got what you wanted.

  3. On October 4th, 2008 at 11:43 am kate Says:

    girl clothes: hannah andersson. not a princess stripper among them.

  4. On October 4th, 2008 at 11:52 am The Mommy Says:

    I have ALWAYS been wrong when guessing the sex of our children (we choose not to find out). So, for our third child, and knowing my past history of incorrectness, I was EMPHATIC that we were having a boy while desperately and secretly hoping for a girl. We had a girl! And it is soooo different, from the get-go. I’m glad you got the pink taco!

    I love the Children’s Place for baby girl clothes. Sign up for coupons and you also get an extra percentage off a few times a year!

  5. On October 4th, 2008 at 12:11 pm apathetic bliss Says:

    welcome to the world of lipgloss, glitter, and high pitched shrieks of happiness, sadness, anger, angst etc. I love my girls…my own little coven hehehehe… much needed after a childhood filled with brothers.
    have fun!

  6. On October 4th, 2008 at 12:22 pm giggleblue Says:

    baby gap! they have the most wonderful girly clothes.

    i don’t know how much i’ve told you that i’m scared to have a little girl, mainly because of the ugly girly clothes. but baby gap, i can handle – i may even make that request – all girly clothes from baby gap only!

    can you see that on the birth announcement? i can.

  7. On October 4th, 2008 at 12:46 pm Vered - MomGrind Says:

    “Any ideas where I can get some decent girl clothes that don’t have “princess” written on them? Or look like they’re designed for miniature strippers?”

    Haha that IS a challenge.

  8. On October 4th, 2008 at 1:45 pm guilty noodles Says:

    Honey, I’ve already got you covered in the girl clothes department… after shopping for many years at small european boutiques, I know the best lines. I’ve already placed an order with Amy of for your wee one. Check out her flickr photos of her niece (also my friend’s daughter), she’s wonderfully dressed (not over the top girlie) after two brothers.

    Lucky Wang, Tea Collection, Makie (a bit pricey) are great. H&M is a great resource for girls clothes, but sizing is always a bit wonky. I’m finding that Target has some decent stuff — they now have a line from the great designers of Dwell.

    Have fun!

  9. On October 4th, 2008 at 2:44 pm erin Says:

    living in Canada i know we have some different clothing stores than you do down in the States but for what its worth Mexx, Children’s Place, Gymboree and Baby Gap all have the most perfect baby clothes, as someone that enjoys fashion and knows a ton of people having children those are all safe bets if you can find them around you, if not, online shopping, especially Gymboree!!!

  10. On October 4th, 2008 at 2:58 pm birdpress Says:

    I was afraid to say anything about being happy that it was a girl, but now that you said it, WHOO HOO! A daughter! The male to female ratio in your house is starting to even out. 🙂 Two boys is great, but adding a girl to the mix just makes it perfect!

  11. On October 4th, 2008 at 3:42 pm Ashley Says:

    Should I return the mini clear heels and pleather onsie??

  12. On October 4th, 2008 at 3:46 pm heather Says:

    That sounds *so* much like when we found out the Beans was a girl. I firgured I was destined to make boys, and I thought (really.) that she was a girl even though E insisted it was to be another boy. The u/s tech says, “it’s a baby girl!” and oh! the! tears! I thought E was going to faint – oh! the! fear!

    As for shopping. Can I help with that! Seconding the recommendations for Tea Collection (especially daily tea/red), Baby Gap, and Gymboree. Also Lucky Kid for when the wee one gets a few more months on her, Babystyle, and Zutano. We don’t much like the stripper look around here, either.

    This is so cool.

  13. On October 4th, 2008 at 3:57 pm heather... Says:

    I have a shitload of online shops bookmarked that sell non-precious girl clothes. Don’t buy pink. EVERYONE will give you pink.

  14. On October 4th, 2008 at 4:26 pm Ms. Moon Says:

    As the mother of three daughters, I can tell you that there is nothing like it. Mine are all now grown and they are all such very special friends to me.
    I can barely talk about it without crying.
    Becky- you’re in for joy. Not that you didn’t already have joy in your life with your boys, but it’s a different sort.
    Enjoy it all.

  15. On October 4th, 2008 at 6:01 pm Ames Says:

    I’m so excited for you, girls really are fun (and fun to shop for). Since I’m stranded here on bed rest for possibly the next 12 weeks, I’ll search online and see what I can find for you. I can tell you though that some of my favorites are baby gap, children’s place, and oshkosh – we have outlets for all of them around here. I haven’t seen a princess stripper outfit in any of them yet! 🙂

  16. On October 4th, 2008 at 6:04 pm Sara Says:

    I also say GAP, Children’s Place, and Gymboree. So feakin’ cute.

    Still sooo happy you are having a girl!

  17. On October 4th, 2008 at 6:59 pm Fancy Says:

    May goodness bless you and all of your children. Especially the girl. She’s going to need it with two older brothers… No, really, congrats. You are going to have so much fun!

  18. On October 4th, 2008 at 7:57 pm Edward Says:

    Yes those darn little girl clothes that look like stripper clothes…oh how I hate them! I wish I could give you some good ideas on shopping. NO matter how much I wanted to go “gilr crazy clothes shopping for first girl” after three boys I always ended up being practical and paying attention to that darn boring budget.

    I did splurge on a nice crib though.


  19. On October 4th, 2008 at 8:33 pm Rebel Says:

    Ahh glad you asked about the Non-stripper clothes, now I know where to get them… the sequins were getting all stuck to the inside of the dryer!!!

    I am very happy that you are having a girl to, as they are really awesome!!!

    Thanks for the Love!!!


  20. On October 4th, 2008 at 9:07 pm cristin Says:

    llbean and landsend. congrats!

  21. On October 4th, 2008 at 9:20 pm Marly Says:

    Aunt Becky, I’m incredibly happy for you and yours! Wishing you an easy ride until you meet your daughter. 🙂

  22. On October 4th, 2008 at 9:46 pm magpie Says:

    You got a boatload of good clothing suggestions.

    All best with the remainder of the pregnancy!

  23. On October 4th, 2008 at 9:57 pm Wishing4One Says:

    I am so happy you will have a girl. I so want a girl, always have. You’d think i’d be happy with either, which I would of course, after 10+ years TTC..

    anyway, congrats! I know the clothes there are something….I would say baby gap, llbean, and a bunch more online….i’ll send you some sites later….

  24. On October 4th, 2008 at 10:36 pm Heather P. Says:

    That is so sweet about Ben and Alex with the picture!
    Some really pretty clothes with matching brother outfits can be found at
    Also, go to
    I love, love, love the Ralph Lauren baby line. It is SO SOFT!! Everything they make. You don’t have to buy it at full price either, you can also find it nicely priced at Marshalls, TJ Maxx, and on Ebay.

  25. On October 4th, 2008 at 10:57 pm Jenn Says:

    I’m going to second (or third) Hanna Andersson. I’m also a huge fan of OshKosh and Carter’s.

    Congrats on the girly bits. I adore mine.

  26. On October 4th, 2008 at 10:59 pm Collette Says:

    Gymboree and Baby Gap. Baby Gap especially. I tried to avoid the princess route but P has always been so girly it just fits her personality. Not a day goes by that some part of her body is bot covered in pink.

    So glad you finally got (wil get) that girl!

  27. On October 5th, 2008 at 12:42 am Sarah Says:

    That’s just the sweetest thing ever. You’re going to raise an awesome little woman.

    I just found Janie and Jack in a local mall (phx) and had never seen them before. They’re online. Totally adorable. Broad range of colors, both “victorian” and “vintage” are mentioned so no whoring little princesses. The prices range from SERIOUSLY?? to Ah, not too bad. Seem to have good sales. Have a blast with this!!

  28. On October 5th, 2008 at 4:21 am Betty M Says:

    Congratulations. On clothes it is pretty hard finding non-pink stuff but in case this has any relevance to you being that you are 3000 miles away I have found great non-pink things at Petit Bateau (actually pretty much anything French is fab), Mini Boden, H&M (look carefully it is hidden amongst the junior pole dancing kit), Zara (ditto re the slightly classier Spanish pole dancers stuff) and Gap. My girl wore a load of hand me downs from her boy cousins – their stuff can look v.cute on a girl with a bit of pink/red thrown in. Now her ultimate desire is purple polyester sequinnned Dancing with the Stars type attire however she can whistle for it.

  29. On October 5th, 2008 at 6:55 am Maria Says:

    I am so thrilled for you. If we ever decide to shoot for a third I’m going to be FREAKING OUT FOR 2O WEEKS because I’d really want to be a girl. Like, intensely. (I’m super happy to be having two sons but being pregnant kind of sucks balls this time around and I only want to do it again for ickle dresses and Mary Janes and being the mother of a bride some day. Insanity.) has some pretty adorable girl clothes depending on the seller.

  30. On October 5th, 2008 at 9:01 am honeywine Says:

    No stripper clothes? Why every gal needs a skill! lol How cute is Alex? Aawww…

  31. On October 5th, 2008 at 1:44 pm heather Says:

    Well I am partial to Old Navy, but if you aren’t against buying things second hand you can try ebay (which also has tons of new stuff too, or if you look in the phone book you may find Once Upon A Child, which is a nationwide franchise that sells not only used childrens clothing, furniture toys and accessories, but some of them carry maternity. And in the years I worked there, we got a ton of infant clothing that was never even worn because babies get a lot of gifts and grow out of things in a heartbeat. If there is no store by that name, there are possibly other local second hand stores.

  32. On October 5th, 2008 at 1:58 pm foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) Says:

    In a world full of boys, I have no ideas, however, I do have the idea that you’re going to be welcoming one very well cared for and protected little girl into your family. Instant bodyguards rock!

  33. On October 5th, 2008 at 5:58 pm Lainey-Paney Says:


  34. On October 5th, 2008 at 7:58 pm rayne of terror Says:

    Yay! How about Osk Kosk (pink stripped railroad overalls) and Lands End.

  35. On October 5th, 2008 at 8:34 pm mumma boo Says:

    Cheeks was a Lands’ End baby, with some Gymboree and Baby Gap thrown in. I echo the suggestion of not buying pink – every gift you open will have pink in it somewhere! I’m so thrilled for you – she’ll be everything you hope for and more. (in a good way!) 🙂

  36. On October 5th, 2008 at 9:52 pm Bree Says:

    Let’s see…

    No stripper-in-training togs
    Nothing that says “Princess”

    I suggest the boys department.

    Truly, we’ve been doing this girl thing for four years now, and it’s actually getting more difficult… perhaps because every year she gets closer to stripper age?

    Good luck. And congratulations, because aside from the clothes-shopping issues, raising a girl is wonderful.

  37. On October 6th, 2008 at 2:16 am baseballmom Says:

    I was pretty sure that T was a boy, and for the second one, I wanted a boy and was glad that Alex obliged…but now I sometimes feel that my girl dog and girl bird aren’t enough. Too late now! Maybe I’ll have girl grandbabies some day, and I have a yummy niece to content myself with. Amen to the stripperlike clothes…when I worked in the lunchroom at school, I got REALLY sick of seeing buttcracks all the time from the lowrider girl pants. One time, I saw a SECOND GRADER with a thong hanging out of her pants…GROOSSSSSSS!!!!!

  38. On October 6th, 2008 at 5:48 am Sandy Says:

    The best part is that her brothers will adore her and protect her and she will be such a princess to them. Oh I can’t wait to see her and hear about it.

    As for clothes, I have no clue, still being a mom to only a sausage and all – but I’ve heard friends complain about the stripper thing alot too!

  39. On October 6th, 2008 at 7:35 am mandy Says:

    I am very happy for you. I am thankful to have both too. At first I just wanted girls because I know how to do those. But boys? I was worried about the same stuff, the stuff I didn’t know. I was mad when I found out my last was a boy. I was scared. Now, I am just so glad I have him. Let it be known, I LOVE having a boy! They are so cool and sweet and perfect. Girls are okay too I guess.

  40. On October 6th, 2008 at 8:26 am jerseygirl89 Says:

    I’m so excited for you. Girls are fun. I love Gymboree, The Children’s Place and The Rugged Bear –

  41. On October 6th, 2008 at 8:31 am SCY Says:

    Congrats on your daughter 😀

  42. On October 6th, 2008 at 9:21 am Lola Says:

    I was going to say the boys’ dept, but someone beat me to it. Whenever I shop for little girls, I can’t believe my eyes. Good luck with that search!

    I’m happy everyone is happy!

  43. On October 6th, 2008 at 9:30 am Kristine Says:

    I have no clue where to shop for a girl. Good luck with that.

  44. On October 6th, 2008 at 11:55 am Miss Grace Says:

    When I was pregnant with Gabriel, I really wanted a girl for the same reasons, but I find it really hard to explain that. I have Gabriel, and of course he’s perfect and I wouldn’t want ANY OTHER CHILD, but he’s half his dad, and even as a perfect toddler, I find that worrisome. It’s a bizarre feeling.

  45. On October 6th, 2008 at 12:05 pm stacey k Says:

    I am all about osh kosh…..there’s a wonderful outlet store in Michigan city IN…and maybe one in Huntley….but they some real cute stuff….

    I like you have two boys and now am prego w/ a girl….and i have to say—i went pink wild…i even bought a round baby crib w/ all the girlie canopies and frills…

  46. On October 7th, 2008 at 2:03 pm Kristen Says:

    I felt the same way, I am so thankful for my Girly.
    naartjie has some neat stuff and mexx here in Canada, I like as well.
    I had a major shopping problem after I had Girly. I just gave away a few thousand dollars worth of baby girl clothes. I nearly bought out gymboree at one point!

  47. On October 8th, 2008 at 6:47 am Candid Engineer Says:

    Congrats, Aunt Becky! I’m excited for you that you are having your little girl.

  48. On October 8th, 2008 at 1:58 pm Lisa Says:

    Girl clothes…I used Target a lot. They had cute affordable clothes. I loved Babies R Us Pajamas…they were all so darling. Congrats on the girl…

  49. On October 11th, 2008 at 8:30 am Chris Says:

    Congratulations! I already had 2 boys when we decided to have another baby. I kept saying “it doesn’t matter to me” when asked the typical question…”What are you hoping for?” At the 20 week US, however, I discovered my hidden, true feelings. The tech told us we were having a girl and I nearly hopped off the table to dance around the office. After 30 years of HATING the color pink, I suddenly ADORED all things pink. Roughly a year later, another tech told us our 4th child would also be a girl and I wanted to dance again. I adore my boys AND my girls, but I was in a different place, mentally, when my girls were born. I was able to block out the rest of the world and savor every second with them. I can get weepy right now just thinking about it.

    Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy. Do I understand correctly that you have a new puppy in the house? I love puppies and dogs with all my heart, but I think the best thing you can do right now for yourself is to find a new home for him/her immediately. You have enough on your plate.

    Girl’s clothes…..Carters, Old Navy, and Gap.

  50. On October 19th, 2008 at 12:00 pm dayna Says:

    DIdn’t some waitress somewhere grab your hand and predict that you would have a girl? Like before you even had Alex? Maybe I read that somewhere else and confused it with your blog but it seems to me that somewhere way back in yesteryear this was foretold.

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