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A New York State Of Mind


I’m a little woozy from my glucose tolerance test this morning, so I’m taking the liberty of reposting yet another old post. Trust me, it’s better than anything else you’d get out of me today. Why is the GTT The Devil?

Last week, under the guise of ‘œbusiness’ Daver took Ben and I to NYC. Having never been there, I found myself to be utterly un-enthused in the weeks leading up to our departure. I’ve been in Chicago all of my life and was never as turned on by the city as some. And having to go with child in tow, despite Dave’s assurances that ‘œwe would be fine’ alone all day by ourselves DID I MENTION ALONE AND BY OURSELVES in a city we’ve not been to, I was even less thrilled.

But the minute we got off the plane, amid Ben’s pleas to get back on the airplane, my mind was changed.


It took physically going to New York for me to realize that this was where I belong. For some people, going to Paris or London or even Australia is where it’s at. My own personal mecca, unbeknown to me, happened to be NYC.

It’s the place where everything HAPPENS. Everything that’s anything comes straight from NY, fashion, food, style; it’s all there. It’s glamorous, it’s busy, it’s FABULOUS. Plus you can get knockoff purses at every street corner ALONG WITH HOT DOGS! I LOVE HOT DOGS. NOM, NOM, NOM HOT DOGS.

Now you might be saying to yourselves, but how was traveling with a four-year old? You still have a kid, how cool can you really be?

The answer is NOT VERY. Bringing Ben to NYC I like to liken (hehe) to taking a bath in hydrochloric acid with a little bleach mixed in for good measure. He wasn’t BAD by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s a busy and active little boy; the kind who DOESN’T want to have his hand held because at 4, he’s too COOL, and only has to urinate when it’s the most inconvenient time and place possible. Like the airplane. I swear that there were times when I could physically FEEL my uterus trying to crawl into the most hidden crevice of my body cavity.

Perhaps behind my spleen.

And I couldn’t blame it. I wanted to crawl in there myself.

Especially after I realized that although I had stocked up on Mother’s Little Helper I had foolishly neglected a stroller. Normally Ben will react to being confined to a stroller (you know, I’ve always seen those kids placidly riding in strollers, while mine insisted upon walking at 6 months old. It’s pure jealousy, let’s be clear here.) with sheer anger and arched back like a cat in a patent leather bikini, but in NYC, I could have cared less. I could have probably given him to the gypsies like I’ve been threatening for years, BECAUSE I’M SURE I COULD FIND SOME.

I looked high and low for strollers, but 5th Ave apparently is fresh out of strollers. Except for the $150 one from FAO Schwartz. Which, by the end of the trip, I was cursing myself for NOT buying. It was a matter of perspective that made me realize how CHEAP $150 was.

I have spent the time since returning home trying to devise a plan for Ben to get a job with a decent income so that we can totally move back to NYC. It’s totally where I belong. Any kind of food delivered at any hour of the day. Hustle and bustle of the crowd going to and from wherever it is fabulous people go. HOT DOGS!

Four years old isn’t too young to get a job, right?

posted under It's Becky, Bitch
25 Comments to

“A New York State Of Mind”

  1. On November 19th, 2008 at 3:15 pm Dora Says:

    The alternative to a stroller with a squirmy child in NYC is a harness and leash. I know, it sounds humiliating, but the kids prefer it to being confined to a stroller or having their hand held in a death grip.

    Let me know next time you visit NY, I’ll buy you a vodka!

  2. On November 19th, 2008 at 3:17 pm rebekah Says:

    Fine. I’ve been telling myself how much better it is to have LEFT NY before we had kids. Because? Urine! Crowds! Expense! But you’ve made me a little lonesome for that city. It sounds like a fabulous time shopping for strollers and eating hot dogs.

  3. On November 19th, 2008 at 3:18 pm Brooke Says:

    I have yet to go, but I think that may be my big 3-0 adventure. I think it is where I should love being as well. I’m pretty sure I was meant to be in NYC.

  4. On November 19th, 2008 at 4:17 pm Coco Says:

    I’m with Badass Geek, you have me singing Billy Joel in my head. NOOOOO!

    Now, I love hot dogs myself, but the idea of living in a frenetic concrete jungle, regardless of how much culture and killer shopping it contains, is just not my cup of tea.

    I need fresh air and big skies. I need solitude. I need quiet. I need more than 225 square feet of living space. Besides, I hate crowds. Hate. I would need sedation.

    You, OTOH, would seriously rock that town. I can see the news stories now. Just bring a stroller.

  5. On November 19th, 2008 at 4:18 pm melanie Says:

    NYC is on my to do list, but I dont want to take little kids……..

    The GTT is pure torture, I gagged (and had to run to the bathroom but thankfully didnt throw up) the entire 5 minutes I had to drink it, and I felt like I was hopped up on something (well i suppose I was) the whole rest of the day. I dont know if you had to do this, but with my latest pregnancy I had to do the GTT TWICE, once in the beginning of my pregnancy and once at the 26-28 week mark…… (they told me so they couple compare the results) It was nearly my undoing, it was bad enough doing it once with my first!

  6. On November 19th, 2008 at 3:36 pm Badass Geek Says:

    Thank you for getting William Joel stuck in my head.

  7. On November 19th, 2008 at 4:41 pm kristen Says:

    So you have always liked encased meats!

    THinking of you in the dog days of pregnancy, icky:)

  8. On November 19th, 2008 at 5:09 pm Kristine Says:

    I have been wanting to go back to NYC, I haven’t been since I was probably 10. I don’t remember much, but I know I’d have more fun as an adult.

  9. On November 19th, 2008 at 5:26 pm Fancy Says:

    NYC is my favorite city on earth! Take the kid back when he’s 12 or 13 like I did, and it’ll be his favorite city on earth, also. My son wants to go to college there or maybe move there when he gets older. Yeah, a free place for mom to stay!

  10. On November 19th, 2008 at 4:45 pm Rachel Says:

    Ugh, the GTT. I failed it on the 1st try, and had to do the 4 hour version with the double strength syrup. The only thing that kept me from puking was the nurse’s threat that if I threw up, I would have to do it all over again.

    Glad you liked NY. I personlly don’t like people enough to go there, but curiously enough, I LOVED New Orleans. I think it’s my mecca.

  11. On November 19th, 2008 at 6:47 pm queen-size funny bone Says:

    when I had that done I drank the entire bottle and then tested to high and wanted to do it again and then when I mentioned how it was terrible drinking the whole bottle they laughed and said I was suppose to eat only 1/2 a bottle. no wonder I was so sick after. They decided I didn/t have to do it again thank goodness.

  12. On November 19th, 2008 at 8:46 pm Melissa Says:

    I want to go to New York with my brother for Thanksgiving. Instead I am stuck in Dairyland fisting the turkey and preparing sweet potato casserole for ten.

    4 is totally old enough to get a job! I’ve been telling mine he has to get one since he was about six months old. He’s thirteen and hasn’t done it yet but yeah! Totally employable at that age!

  13. On November 19th, 2008 at 8:48 pm tash Says:

    When pregnant with Bella, I threw up my 3 hr. test 2 hours through. Niiice. Had to do it all over again leading to,what, 8 needle tracks (including the 1 hr. I failed) within a week? Not to mention I never want to see another orange soda ever again.


    I went to NYC for college, largely based on my visit. I had never, ever been and knew on the taxi ride from the train station to school that I had never felt more at home in my life.

  14. On November 19th, 2008 at 7:57 pm Lola Says:

    Dude, the only thing that sticks in my brain about the five or so times I’ve trekked to NYC was the smell of pee, so Ben was right on!

    I avoid that city at all costs unless it’s wintertime and the pee is frozen. That’s the only time I can stand to be in NYC.

  15. On November 19th, 2008 at 9:01 pm Betts Says:

    Next time you’re in NYC, notice the kids in strollers. They’re like 6 years old and still riding in them. Probably because everyone walks everywhere and little legs can’t handle it.

    I like NYC (we’ve been every year for a long weekend for the past 4 years), but I hate the crowds (doesn’t help that we go two weeks before x-mas) and the noise. But I’m with you on the encased meats on every corner.

  16. On November 19th, 2008 at 11:30 pm Edward Says:

    Aw if only kids could work…I’d be a rich man. The problem is that even if they could work and actually find a job, I seriously doubt any of them could hold the job long enough to add to our standard of living. Well with the whining, crying, wanting a lot of breaks, doing a bad job, and being totally off task they would be fired rather quickly! Ihope Ben is different from our kids and has a good work ethic lol!

    We took Ms. Olivia to Las Vegas, Nevada once and she thought the room service was the bomb at 2 years of age. Unfortunately we had to take turns leaving the room to gamble. It’s much more fun to gamble together and get your drink on but we were the one’s that thought taking a 2 year old would work out fine lol!

    Fell better from the GTT test. I just started refusing the fucker after child #4. I was like…just give me the fucken meter and the insulin! Sure enough the meter and the insulin is what I needed. I hope you don’t but if you do…don’t fear…the insulin is the bomb! I felt so much physically better and mentally better when I had the right amount.

    Shit being diabetic and pregnant,I could decide I needed some rest, that i was depressed and eat a bowl of co-co pebbles…worked like ambien! Take the insulin…no fear…you’ll feel better.

  17. On November 20th, 2008 at 1:40 am Sarah Says:

    I told them to pack sand with that GTT BS the second time around. But that’s me.

    Totally with you on NYC. Nothing anywhere in the Navy (and let’s be clear – I did spend 9 days in Thailand) dropped my jaw like NYC. Jim took me there right before we got married. He used to work there – when I was in jr. high. When I’m there, I’m in shock. When I’m not there, I want to be.

    I have yet to take it on with crackbabies in tow, however. Bit of a different game, I dare say.

  18. On November 20th, 2008 at 9:25 am electriclady Says:

    You totally need to come back to nyc. Though I guess with three kiddos it’ll be a leetle challenging…but we can hang out! And Alex and BG can become the team of evil toddler masterminds they were always meant to be!

  19. On November 20th, 2008 at 8:28 am giggleblue Says:

    god, my GTT test is coming up in two weeks. damn it!!

    but i AM moving to NYC in June!!

  20. On November 20th, 2008 at 10:16 am kbrients Says:

    ugh– I hate that orange crap that they make you drink!! It always gave me heart burn!

    Hope you feel better!

  21. On November 20th, 2008 at 10:37 am honeywine Says:

    Get that boy a rag and some shoe polish, I say! lol

  22. On November 20th, 2008 at 4:36 pm Painted Maypole Says:

    I love NYC, too. go back without a kid sometime, and you’ll REALLY love it!

  23. On November 20th, 2008 at 7:20 pm A Soldier's Girl Says:

    I am totally with you! I would love to live in NY….but, I’m sure the coolness would wear off & then we’d just be stuck with high cost of living!

    And, no – 4 is not too young to start…you can send him my way, in fact. I have a yard that needs to be mowed 🙂

  24. On November 21st, 2008 at 7:31 pm jerseygirl89 Says:

    You just made me miss NYC. Which is sad when you realize that I only live a 45 minute train ride away.

  25. On November 21st, 2008 at 10:45 pm Jenn Says:

    I’ve been to New York and I HATED it. All those things you listed as pros sound like cons to me! 🙂

    Yeah those glucose tests suck. Was it the fasting one? Bleurgh.

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