Mommy Wants Vodka

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A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Urgent Care…


I was all Happy Pants this weekend. I had this awesome post planned out for you today because it’s VD-Day and I love Valentine’s Day like I love Diet Coke and Uncrustables and anyone who can use the phrase “soft palms” as a put-down.

I love Valentine’s Day like everything I love: in an unnatural, slightly creepy way. I’m not even about romance. It’s just the red and pink and sparkles and hearts and *swoons* and normally I take the day to buy myself something extravagant and unnecessary just because I can. That way, I’m never all SAD PANTS if no one else gets me a candy heart or whatever. Nope. I just swoon over my diamonds or ridiculous purse and sigh happily because it’s just a good day.

Then, last night, just, well, okay, let me back up.

Last week was kinda a clusterfuck. You read my blog, anxiously checking for updates, refreshing your browser over and over again in the hopes that maybe, just maybe I’ve decided to pollute the world with more of my garbage, or I’m going to pretend you do, because obviously, my feelings were wounded enough last night.

So last week, I broke my tooth while sleeping. HILARIOUS.

Then, I got a double ear infection the very next day. Not quite so hilarious.

Then, because I am lucky, I got a migraine.

If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know that I get My Grains. They started in my early twenties and by the time I popped my daughter out (I was 28), I had one every day. Every single day. I may exaggerate some things (especially my hatred of Mark Zuckerberg), but My Grains aren’t one of them.

They also aren’t particularly funny. Upon occasion, I’ll bring them up here on my blog, but generally, I try not to because, well, I don’t know, it’s not something I like to talk about very much. They’re not very interesting and what’s to be said beyond, “man, I hate them,” or “man, this is really hard some days,” or, “man, sometimes, it’s hard to feel anything but sad about them.” It’s not worth it to get into that stuff because it doesn’t make me feel any better to say it. It doesn’t make you feel better to read it. And in the end, they just are.

I’ve been fortunate to have found something that helps stave off most of the migraines. The break-through ones are normally managed by another drug. Where I run into problems is when I have something else happen.

Something else like, let’s say, a double ear infection and a broken tooth.

Here’s what happens: I get a migraine and I’m all EYE OF THE MOTHERFUCKING TIGER and sometimes, it goes away.

Sometimes it doesn’t and I’m still all YOU CAN DO THIS, EYE OF THE MOTHERFUCKING TIGER, and then it still doesn’t go away, and then it’s off-hours, so I wind up in Urgent Care weeping, begging them to lop off my head.

That’s what happened last night and why I’m not telling you about the worst date of my life which is what I’d wanted to tell you about because, well, obviously.

I broke down and went to Urgent Care, which is like, the last place I ever want to go because I’m not interested in dying of Typhoid Fever or whatever infectious disease the patient before me had. But I knew they’d give me a shot in the ass of something and I had an appointment with my neurologist today anyway, so it was a win.

In fact, when I went in, I said, “I have an appointment with my neurologist tomorrow at 11 AM but I am in so much pain that I cannot think,” or something like it.

I didn’t say this:

“I want hardcore narcotics now.”

or this:

*breezily, examining nails* “Um, I want Vicodin. Lots of it. I have “pain” or something.”

They gave me a shot of Imitrex (I hadn’t had it before) and it made matters worse. Suddenly, my head weighed eighty-five-niner pounds and my neck and shoulders hurt and holy shit I felt worse. I started crying. The Nurse Practitioner, who had been a total bitch to me beforehand, sent the actual MD in to see me.

He came in, poked around a little bit and then started talking a bit about “clinic policy.”

I was a little slow on the uptake because, well, I was trying to figure out how to support the weight of my head and I couldn’t exactly see straight, thanks to the blinding pain. Also: I’m pretty stupid to begin with, but that goes without saying.

So while I’m trying to figure out if I can fashion a sling for my neck out of gauze, he tells me that he can’t give me a prescription for pain killers because I’ve been to Urgent Care for migraines three times in the past year.




So, they think I’m a drug seeker.

Pranksters, I nearly died. Not in a funny way, either.

I talk a good game and I love a good joke about Vicodin as much as the next person, but frankly, I’m not addicted to it. If I were, I highly doubt I’d be talking about it here. Addicts are pretty secretive about their addictions and I cannot tell you the last time I used narcotics to treat my headaches (I did have some after my surgery). Why?

They can cause rebound migraines.

The very last thing I wanted to do was cause myself another fucking headache, trust me on that.

And as the adult child of two alcoholics, I will tell you that being labeled a “drug seeker” right there was probably the worst, most humiliating thing that has happened to me in a long time. That’s probably the one label; the one thing you could call me that would make me feel like I felt as I walked out of there. I still feel that way right now, actually.

I feel humiliated. I walked out of there, head as high as I could, and the moment I got into the car, I burst into the sort of tears that I cry once in blue moon. Harsh, body-wracking sobs.

Pain is an asshole. It’s supposed to be the 5th Vital Sign, yet so many doctors are afraid to treat it because they can’t see it; measure it; quantify it; run a lab test on it; put it in a neat little box. Chronic pain wears you down. I’m tired of it. It makes me sad that that I’ll probably never go back to any Urgent Care/ER again for fear of being treated that way again. I’ve gotten this treatment from my pharmacy and the asshole nurse at my GP’s office before; et tu Urgent Care?

I wish I had any fist-shaking, teeth-gnashing or manager-calling I could do, some way that I could turn this around, some lesson to be learned, but really, there’s nothing to be said or done.

They have their “policies” to hide behind to protect them. I’m a nurse. I understand.

But I’m not a drug seeker. I just wanted treatment. It’s a shame I can’t get it.

119 Comments to

“A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Urgent Care…”

  1. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:21 pm Megan (Best of Fates) Says:

    I am so so so sorry. If I had some Vicodin I would send you boxes of it, ’cause I’d trust you.

    Now if only that pharmacy heist had gone through…

  2. On November 4th, 2015 at 1:48 pm Dave Says:

    I agree you were treated very poorly. That said, Urgent care is not intended to treat any kind of acute pain. Migraine, abdominal, chest etc. Urgent cares have limited resources for pain management and usually dont even carry any pain meds out side of Toradol and Motrin. Urgent cares are for sprains and strains, sore throats ear aches. Easy quick stuff. The Emergency room is the place for any complex medical problem or pain management. For the pain to be controlled properly you have to know the cause and the Urgent care is not set up to do this kind of care and diagnosis. Do your self and all Urgent cares of the world a favor and go where the care can fit the problem. If unsure call the Urgent care first before you arrive.

  3. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:24 pm Jessica Says:

    Migraines are fucking assholes. Ninja assholes! They sneak up on you and slip their samurai sword of pain in your skull, they suck Migraines ruin my day when I get them. I know this feeling all too well. Every single time I have got to the E fucking R for a migraine I can just see the look in the nurses and docs eyes. One of “I am sure it doesn’t hurt that much you drug seeking biotch.”
    Sorry those dickheads made you feel even worse.
    Want me to hurt ’em?

  4. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:42 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Let’s punch ’em in the neck.

  5. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:26 pm cupcakekarate Says:

    Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. I CANNOT believe that urgent care has no other policies in place to determine who is and is not a drug seeker other than “times visited per year”. Also, PER YEAR? Oh my god, I am so pissed on your behalf. ALSO! Is this not the kind of treatment that would be likely to cause someone to seek out narcotics in a less-than-honest manner?

    Ffffffffff. Sorry for all the caps. Happy Valentine’s Day! xoxo

  6. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:41 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I highly doubt that was a policy. Honestly, I’m guessing it’s “guidelines” but “up to the MD’s discretion.” Double-ouch.

  7. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:29 pm Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up) Says:

    Well, now your “I’ve never felt so humiliated tweet makes sense.”. Doesn’t it suck that because some people abuse things, they ruin it for the rest of us. Jerry McGuire said “we live in a cynical, cynical world.”. True that

    Sorry about your MY GRAINS…I know they suck.

  8. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:31 pm Clare Says:

    I feel your pain! For realsies, I do! I suffer from migraines, and worse than the pain of a migraine is when someone says to you, “Oh. Headaches? Yeah. Never had one of those.”

    You just want to punch them in the noggin, just so they get it.

    Fortunately for them, I am non-violent and sweet.

    But I get you when you say it’s just too much pain to even hold your head on up your shoulders. And the light? it’s so bright that you’re all, “Please? Can someone turn down the sun for a bit?”

    My condolences on your pain, Aunt Becky!

  9. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:32 pm Danyelle Says:

    Oh goodness, I’m sorry you weren’t able to get any relief. Migraines are.. I can’t even find words for their awfulness. I hope your appointment this morning brought some relief.

  10. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:32 pm Anna Says:

    I’d hug you but I don’t want to make you hurt anymore. So, instead, I’ll go to the closest Urgent Care and knee someone in the balls and scream “That’s for Aunt Becky, Bitch!” and run, quickly, before the cops nab me.

  11. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:35 pm Dana Says:

    Next time I’ll go along and act as your … ummmm … ADVOCATE! That’s it! I’ll even set my trained killer status aside as long as they cooperate!

    Assholes …

  12. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:36 pm Varda (SquashedMom) Says:

    I am so sorry they were such assholes to you Aunt Becky. If only there could be some way your medical record could have a note in it from your neurologist saying that you are indeed prone to EXTREMELY bad migraines and should be given the FUCKING MEDICINE YOU NEED AND HAVE A RIGHT TO HAVE because you are a patient in pain and not a drug seeker. Wouldn’t that MAKE SENSE?

    Oh, right, it’s the American health care system we’re talking about here… bureaucratized up the ass and everyone covering their own butt and taking responsibility for nothing. Sense? Never mind.

    If only there were some way you could grab the heads of everyone who has denied you the medicine you need and do a Vulcan mind-meld on them so they could actually FEEL your pain as if it were their own. THAT would get you the medicine pretty quick. Especially if you refused to un-mind-meld until you got them. How long do you think they could hold out? Wusses.

  13. On February 20th, 2011 at 8:17 pm MJ Says:

    I love this reply for several reasons, not least of which are because I’m a massive Trekkie and My Grain sufferer myself. I’ve been there, where UC refuses to give you meds, your GP refuses, can’t legally change to another Dr…It sucks so very much. I truly don’t understand it. It doesn’t make you feel any better to know that there are people out here that suffer the same way you do/are. I wish we could change things. I wish we could change the way people think about the treatment of pain.

  14. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:40 pm Jana A Says:

    That’s such bullshit. I’m so sorry they were assholes to you.

  15. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:45 pm Tweets that mention A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Urgent Care... Mommy Wants Vodka | Mommy Wants Vodka -- Says:

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Aunt Becky, Lynn MacDonald. Lynn MacDonald said: RT @mommywantsvodka: Sometimes, when I say, "funny," I mean, "not funny." About last night… […]

  16. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:47 pm AngieM. Says:

    i’m not sure how close a migraine comes to the headache/vomiting you get from meningitis, i’ve had it 4 times in my life and yes, the pain is horrible and you just want to die. so YOU, that get’s migraines so often…that’s just not fair. i’m sorry they were such bastards to you

  17. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:49 pm gaylin Says:

    I have had one migraine in my whole 51 years, yes one, and if you came to my house I would try to find you all the drugs you needed because one was enough. It was 20 years ago and I still remember the pain and the near puking and all of the not fun.

    Happy pink sparkly heart day and I hope the pain stops soon.

  18. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:54 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It’s a bit better today, thank you. Hopefully, the upward trend will continue. They’re awful and chronic pain has a way of making you feel hopeless after awhile. There’s just something about it that tears at you.

    I hate bringing it up because it sounds so melodramatic.

  19. On February 21st, 2011 at 12:42 am TeDiouS Says:

    I understand that completely. I have had severe chronic pain for 15 years…since my early twenties. It has been at least ten years since I had a pain-free day. I have been lucky in that I had doctors who take pain seriously and who have given me what help they can, though it never takes the pain away. To be turned away the way you were when you need help is the most awful thing…and then to be told that it is somehow your fault that they are not helping you…

    I had my share of the bad doctors before finding the good ones. I was accused of drug-seeking, of mental illness, of plain old faking for attention. Until I was diagnosed with an actual condition. A genetic, chronic, life-long condition. And even after that there was the odd doctor who thought I was making things up because they can’t SEE your pain.

    I hope you get lucky in the end and find some doctors who will help you the best way they can. It is not easy to be in pain all the time. I have offered before, but if you need someone to talk to who understands what it is to be in pain all the time, feel free to email me.

  20. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:49 pm Nancy P Says:

    Well shit! This makes me mad for you. I think you should send this post to the urgent care clinic. There HAS to be a solution.

  21. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:50 pm Melissa Says:

    I’ve been getting migraines since I was 4 (am 38 now) and I can handle them to a point – but once it stomps that line, omg. I’ve had to go to the ER twice in the last few months for a shot. Its bad enough you feel like a truck has slammed into you without them treating you like an addict.
    I’m lucky enough to have a roommate that can just look at me and see how bad it is. (apparently I go a funny shade of grey and I shake and stutter) She knows I’ll suffer for days if the Imitrex isn’t working. I’ll do just about anything to avoid the ER. But if it’s bad enough she makes me go.

  22. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:53 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Exactly. Just. Exactly.

    Like you, I manage until I can’t, and then, I can’t handle it. I don’t know what I’m going to do from now on. The neuro gave me a script for some stuff. Hopefully it’ll help.

  23. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:56 pm mumma boo Says:

    Oh, Becks, I’m so sorry they treated you that way. Apparently the CYA mentality that pervades the system is stronger than the “do no harm” in the Hippocratic oath. For that’s what they did to you – harm. And lots of it. Next time, grab the doc by the balls and twist them up over his head. Tell him that’s what the pain feels like – times 10. Hope you feel better soon, love.

  24. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:56 pm candace Says:

    I suffer from migraines. I was first diagnosed at 4. I know your pain. Luckily the Triptan based meds (imitrex is the worst for side effects imho) work for most of mine. But the ones it doesn’t work for ar pure hell. Yes, that’s several per year, asshats! There has to be some sort of check for real pain. Let’s go taser them!

  25. On February 14th, 2011 at 3:57 pm Amy Says:

    @_@ blug!!!*Hug* I hope you feel better soon

  26. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:00 pm Karen Delaney Says:

    You want I should Tae Kwon Do their dumb heads through a couple of boards so they can seek some drugs? Assholes. I know this is silly, but I thought you might think this was funny and get a tiny giggle out of it. Also, there’s a pain scale in it you could print out in color for the edification of the ER assholes, just before I push their pinheads through those boards for you. Please go read it. It really will make you giggle…I promise.

  27. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:01 pm Denise Says:

    As a migraine sufferer for 14+ years, I definitely feel your pain. I don’t tend to hit urgent care much but am glad that I haven’t had that crappiness yet to deal with. I do remember the days when it was no big deal for them to give you a shot in the ass of Demerol but it’s all toradol and imitrex now. Can folks really fake the kind of pain a migraine causes? Those drug seekers must be excellent actors. Anyway, hope you don’t have to deal with that bullshit again. Right now I’m on the botox for chronic migraines regimen. Not helping yet but my forehead is quite smooth.

  28. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:01 pm Jessica Says:

    OMG! Something very similar just happened to me!

    So I go see doctor #12 so I can get a referral to doctor #13 (yay HMOs) for my yet unsolved back pain (yeah, that’s me on Band Back Together) and while I’m looking at the page with doctor #13’s address I notice the referral is for “chronic back pain and chronic opiod use.”

    They just fucking called me a drug addict. This doctor who’s seen me once for 10 minutes. Is. Calling. Me. A. Drug. Addict.

    I only wish I’d seen it before I left so I could’ve told him what to do with his whore mouth.

  29. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:56 pm Joy Says:

    I am offended on your behalf!! If that was me, I’d go back and chew them (all) new ones. WTF!!

  30. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:04 pm No Good Says:

    Where’s Shirley MacLaine when you need her?

  31. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:04 pm Lindsey Says:

    You’ve gotten narcotics once a quarter (on average) for diagnosed migraines and you’re a drug seeker? That is ridiculous.

  32. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:05 pm Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] Says:

    You know I love you hard. Harder than a fucking my grain.

  33. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:08 pm Kate Says:

    Seriously, three times is a YEAR in their cut off!? For something like migraines? WTF!!!

    In college and in the years following I got migraines a lot. However I’m one of those super lucky people for whom pregnancy does something that sort of shuts them off so I haven’t had one since the day after I found out I was pregnant (my son is 21 months old). Then the other day I had this headache, and the it got really bad, but it wasn’t until I started to feel nauseous that I was like “oh right, a migraine” and finally took something. Luckily I was able to shake it pretty quickly but I remember well the days spent in a darkened bedroom unable to even lift my head off the pillow.

    So yeah, screw the idiots. I would see about having your dr’s office to call them though and tell them they are very disappointed in the way their patient was treated and should said poor treatment continue they (the dr) will be telling their patients to go elsewhere. Might not help but it would make me feel better.

  34. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:12 pm txjennk Says:

    Oh, Aunt Becky, I feel your pain. I have the migraines. And I have been accused of drug seeking not only for my migraines, but by the worst nurse in the history of the world that thought I was drug seeking because my chest hurt but my vitals were fine so it wasn’t a heart attack. My lung had collapsed. Because she thought I was drug seeking she sent me to the waiting room for 45 minutes before they called me back. When the doctor saw me my lung was so collapsed I needed a chest tube.

    It was the pharmacy and my neurologists nurse who accused me of drug seeking with my migraines. I was having them daily and they took me off of everything. So much fun. Then when I quit my job around all the chemicals my migraines went down to one or two a week.

    I’ve only been to the ER with my migraines once and that was because I didn’t know it was a migraine. The other night it was 3 in the morning, I’d maxed out all my medicine and I still wouldn’t let the husband take me to the ER because I couldn’t deal with a drug seeking accusation AND the migraine.

    So yeah, I really, really feel your pain. And may the doctor get a blinding migraine of his own that lasts for years and he find no sympathy. Or we could just remove his testicles. Take your pick.

  35. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:13 pm Jolie Says:

    ding dang that’s a sucky pre-VD situation. I wish MDs were allowed to think the best of their patients, instead of putting a blanket “policy” on everyone. All those years of training, you’d think 3x in a YEAR would be enough to let them “think” they can HELP YOU. Not “oh, it’s been three times…” it should be “damn, it’s been THREE! times! Wow, and I see that what nurse crotchet gave you is being more trouble than good, let’s go to the next step here and get you better.” What’s the use of all of that education. I hope the new Rx from the neurologist helps you lots girl, I really do.

  36. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:15 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I’d guess it’s a discretionary policy anyway. I’d bet a lot that it is, actually. It was the end of a shift on Sunday in an Urgent Care and I’d bet he just didn’t want to take a risk/didn’t believe me. Not okay.

  37. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:13 pm liltoastfairy Says:

    ugh. that sucks Big Hairy Donkey Balls. *shakes head* yeah, I have no words. For how much that bites.
    Hope today is better (should I tempt fate and ask how could it get worse? no. that would be bad.) hope the Daver buys you something awesomely sparkly to cheer you up – he sounds the type who is good like that (I have one too, and he rocks!) *gentle hug*
    ugh. yeah, ugh. Feel better. :O)

  38. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:14 pm Amy Says:

    Oh I’ve been there! I went to an urgency care clinic for a raging kidney infection and was told the same thing despite the fact that they had never ever written me an RX. I peed blood in a mother-humping cup and had a fever of 103.death but I was a drug seeker! I felt the same shame and humiliation and was so angry at the clinic and at every fuckwad of a drug seeker that screwed it up for everyone else. Garrrrrrh! I’m so sorry to hear you went through something similar.

  39. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:15 pm Beth Says:

    I’m so so so so sosossososo sorry! People are sucky assholes sometimes, and… Jesus, you canNOT fake migraine pain. And why would you want to? I’ve more than once been reduced to a sobbing, puking, begging for death mess by mine, and that doctor should get an enema with a cactus for suggesting that you shouldn’t get treatment for yours. Just sayin’.

  40. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:17 pm Kathy Says:

    You poor thing. 🙁 You need a card from the doc saying “TREAT ME FOR DA PAIN, YO!”

  41. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:22 pm Melme Says:

    This kind of shaming treatment reminds me of last year when I tried to tell my gyno (whom I was seeing for what must have been the hundredth time in a few months due to nonstop periods caused by polycystic ovary syndrome) that I thought I might be suffering from depression… It had been a bad year with my grandfather dying, the PCOS, constant bleeding, severe anemia and job stress and I was in a funk I just could shake. She listened with half and ear and then proceeded to scold me for gaining weight. (Um… you put me on the pill, bitch.)

    I went home and cried and I still haven’t been able to summon the force of will to seek help elsewhere even though I still feel gloomy as hell most days. Sad thing is, this kind of apathy is common for health care providers in my area so I feel kind of helpless.

  42. On February 14th, 2011 at 9:49 pm katrina Says:

    Oh please, if you are still depressed go seek out some help. I was in pretty much the same situation, and the depression only made everything else worse. There is help out there….drugs, counseling…Whatever works for you. Just find a doctor you can trust. I think the depression hinders our bodies from healing, but anyway, who wants to feel like shit all the time? You deserve to feel good!

  43. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:22 pm Damian Trasler Says:

    Yow! Mrs Dim gets migraines occasionally. She has some hardcore tablets (something like Migraleve, I guess)and lies in a dark room until it wears off, but you’re a regular sufferer and that sucks. Pain is such a subjective thing, it would really help if some boffin somewhere could make a pain-o-meter that shows just how much someone is hurting. That MD could have been mistaking your migraine for a bad headache (common misunderstanding, from what I see, and I hear they aren’t even related – like comparing badgers and elephants…They both have four legs…) but he can’t tell how much you’re hurting.

  44. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:24 pm Aly Says:

    Oh Aunt Becky! I spent last week in the guest bathroom alternating between the porcelain god (thankfully it was not the shiny one of your dreams as the glare would have been horrific) and the “I cannot find a cold spot due to fucking radiant heat” tile floor dealing with one of the worst migraines I have had in years. I have rug burn on my knees from running full speed ahead into the bathroom just so I could hit the toilet when the asshole headache hit. Who the fuck gets rug burn from a headache? I thought headaches prevented rug burn, as in “not tonight honey, I have a headache.” I hope your neurologist set you on the right track and gave you a script for some pain killers – if not gave you a good link to a reputable Canadian pharmacy that will do you right. And to all of the jackasses out there who have decided they are too good to be regular junkies and get high on pot, coke and other things – I CURSE YOU for making it so damn hard for those of us who really need the drugs to be looked at like the common criminals you really are when we try to ask for them. You suck.

  45. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:28 pm Elizabeth Says:

    duuuuude, he could have given you like, 2 or 3 if he was worried. please write a letter to the director of that clinic. letters are a big deal for some reason.
    I know what patients look like in pain, since I see people that come in with terrible dental pain on occasion. most often there’s this dull look of exhaustion and resignation, you just KNOW its for real.
    should I call this guy and explain to him this look so that he can tell the difference in the future? well, he probably wouldn’t take advice from a dentist anyway, bastard.
    and seriously, I haven’t seen that many drug seekers, its not like there’s hoards of them, like zombies. and they usually say they need percoset, not vicodin, in my experience. and anyway, you’re a patient OF RECORD. drug seekers go to lots of different places. God, morons are frustrating. I hate urgent cares, I don’t know how you feel about them as a nurse… it just seems like the care isn’t that good.
    I wish I could give you some justice in this situation.

  46. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:31 pm Kelley Says:

    Oh. My. GOD. I am so sorry to hear this! If it’s happened to you I imagine it’s happening to many others, and what kind of b***sh*t is THAT? May you feel better, and SOON!

  47. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:33 pm Becky Mochaface Says:

    I am so sorry Aunt Becky and hope you feel better soon.

  48. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:34 pm Squatlo Says:

    Being in the medical profession you know how messed up this country is about pain control. We’ve made it carry such a stigma that terminal cancer patients are refusing pain meds because they DON’T WANT TO BECOME ADDICTED! How fucked up is that? You’re going to die in pain, or die without pain, and your choice is to hurt because you don’t want to become dependent upon the meds? Shit!
    I’d make my neurologist call those SOBs as soon as you let go of his neck… explain to them that your pain wasn’t invented to generate a prescription, but that their prescription was necessary to kill your pain. Then I’d see to it that he issue you some sort of “get out of misery free” card that you can cash in at your local pharmacy in the middle of the night if you suffer. Fuck this silly shit.

    One of my sisters is a recovering addict. She has abused every narcotic known to man, and invented a few of her own. Now that she’s practically destroyed her own physical health, she’s decided to clean up her act. Guess who suddenly has lumbar pain from crushed disks and can’t get pain meds because of her history? So she cries a lot. They put her on some meds, then piss tested her later and found no trace of them in her system. That meant (to them) she was selling the drugs for money to buy illegal narcotics. So they’ve cut her off of meds completely. Now, she’s a liar from way back (comes with addiction) but for once she’s telling the truth. She was taking the meds, but for whatever reason they didn’t show up in her urine test. Nothing she says now makes any difference, they won’t prescribe shit.
    You need to get in someone’s face about this, ASAP, before they black list you with some sort of network alert. You deserve to be treated like a person with a proven medical condition, not a drug seeker.
    Pisses me off and I don’t even know you, Aunt Becky.

  49. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:44 pm Kristin Says:

    Oh honey, I’m sorry the fucktards at urgent care treated you like that.

  50. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:48 pm Brooke Says:

    I’m sorry. Hugs.

  51. On February 14th, 2011 at 4:59 pm yoshi pike Says:

    I’ve had these oh so lovely migraines since I was five and now on the downside of 40, I can “feel your pain”. Mine are the ones that no meds help and can last for days. The one today is currently on its 4th day. Once it goes, I can expect another in a day or so.

    I med-checks, or whatever you want to call them are the worse places in the world. My current neurologist told me to not let them know that I have migraines cause of this exact problem. Sometimes you want to go Discount Tire on their windows (Tire flying through the window!). My neurologist has given me sleeping pills to help me sleep through the worse, if I can.

    I wish you better luck with your then what I have with mine. They say mine is untreatable or at least there are too many causes to successfully treat.

    I just wish there was a way to register with the urgent care / med checks of the world that you are NOT a drug seeker and that your doctor says that you can have these pills to help you LIVE your life. They have lists for everything else, why not one to help us in PAIN?

  52. On February 14th, 2011 at 5:12 pm The Mommy Says:

    I.don’ My grandmother broke her hip last week. Most people hear “90 years old” and translate as “is senile”. Not so much. She isn’t one to be toyed with and she’s tough as nails. She wanted Tylenol (REGULAR STRENGTH) for the pain but because they hadn’t “ordered” it – only something called Dilaudid? – they couldn’t give it to her. So they gave her a narcotic. Not smart. They screwed things up SO BADLY that the PR dept of the hospital came to talk to my family. More than once.

    My point is, it seems to be one extreme or the other. Last night (several days after the above incident) she asked for Tylenol (REGULAR STRENGTH) again and they brought her a “long green pill”. She refused to take it! She said, “Tylenol? It’s a WHITE pill? About 250mg I think”. Yeah. She’s a lot of fun as a patient! And they can’t pull one over on HER.

    But I’m thinking she could hook you up with some fun stuff if you needed it…

  53. On February 14th, 2011 at 5:34 pm Katie Says:


    I’m pissed off for you. Perhaps the combined force of all our rage on your behalf will give the doctor a fucking migraine.

    Or maybe it will create an inverse reaction and relieve yours?

    *thinks pain-free thoughts*

  54. On February 14th, 2011 at 5:52 pm Heather Says:

    Dammit-give me their address so I can go punch them in the neck for you! I am so pissed off!
    I am very sorry this happened to you!

  55. On February 14th, 2011 at 6:01 pm andygirl Says:

    that’s bullshit. I said this when the pharmies were assholes to you too. drug addicts like my mom make it hard for the rest of us to get the treatment we need. and what’s worse is they can actually GET their drugs. while honest of us don’t. it pisses me off. I’m also terrified of taking anything too strong for fear of addiction. but doctors usually don’t believe that.

    I’m sorry. I also know how much migraines suck monkey ass. want me to kill someone for you?

  56. On February 14th, 2011 at 6:02 pm Morgan Whicker Says:

    Have you ever tried botox for your migrains? My friends gets really bad ones and the only thing that’s ever made a differnce is botox on her face. She’s tried all kinds of drugs to no avail. Insurance is starting to cover it as a treatment, so maybe something to look into

  57. On February 14th, 2011 at 6:05 pm Mrs Woog Says:

    that is so fucked.


  58. On February 14th, 2011 at 6:13 pm Marie Says:

    SO I haven’t had My Grains in a long while, but i used to get them and they run in my family. My brother actually gets stroke-like symptoms, numbness in his face and arms, etc. “They” said, “oh, sorry!” ANYWAY, Not that I’m agreeing with the asshole DR, but My BFF has a drug seaking sister who uses My Grains as her excuse for everything from her Inlaws are visiting to she doesn’t want to deal with her son to her husband is out of town for work and she needs attention. This is the chick who couldn’t stop running 10+ miles a day on her treadmill while she was pregnant. She’s attention seeking, toxic and I would LOVE to punch her in the neck for all the things she’s done to my bff. POINT is they won’t give her drugs either, partially because she IS drug seeking. But using it as an excuse. So I can see where there policy about “my grains” may be 3x per year, because there are psychos out there like her. There needs to be a special card for people like you and my brother (not Stupid Bitches) that allow you like 1 day of meds til you can see your neuro. Like the kind of card a person with metal in their body carries 🙂

  59. On February 14th, 2011 at 6:23 pm JayKen Knotstirred Says:

    Medical Marijuana. The wife has MyGrains something fierce about once a month. When she feels it coming on, she will smoke some Sativa strain of Marijuana, which gives her a “Head High” and allows her to finish her day in public. Then, when she gets home at night, she will change her medicine to an Indica strain, which produces a “Body High”. Three or four hits of Indica and she can sleep through the night with virtually no pain.
    In the 3 years she has had her MM license, the severity AND duration of her MyGrains has been cut in half!
    14 states allow MM licensing for Migraines, Hope you live in one! (Reporting from CA)

  60. On February 16th, 2011 at 12:25 pm Josefina Says:

    I think this would be worth trying if your state allows.

    I’m sorry this happened, and I hate that you were in so much pain.

  61. On February 14th, 2011 at 6:41 pm Emily Says:

    Oh my God. That is a terrible story. I’m so sorry that happened. I’m also a nurse, and the one and only time there was a known drug seeker in my care she got a PCA full of narcotics. WTF?
    I once tried to get a RX for sleeping pills form a DO, (I’ve had insomnia for YEARS) and that asshole basically treated me like a drug seeker and told me to take some valerian. I was pissed about that for a long time.
    I hope you feel better today.

  62. On February 14th, 2011 at 7:12 pm steph gas Says:

    aunt motherfucking becky, i can understand how humiliating that is because i’ve been in that situation myself.

    i’d also follow up with whoever is in charge of that urgent care because going in for treatment of a recorded medical issue and getting painkillers FOUR times in one year is not a problem. i’ve had painkillers that many time in one year for kidney infections, ear infections, and an abcess. yup.

    ALSO. not sure how you feel about it, but is there some way your regular doc could write you a script for painkillers that work that you could fill only as needed? something to think about. maybe.

    ALSO ALSO. i <3 you. happy vd-day.

  63. On February 14th, 2011 at 7:23 pm Kyddryn Says:

    Oh, babe…a huge hug to ya (as long as it doesn’t exacerbate your oucjies).

    Meanwhile…why is it when you DON’T want pain meds, the medical staff at Redneck Central General Horspital and Sock Emporium TRY to get you to take ’em?? I should have accepted them, then saved ’em…I could have shiped ’em to YOU.

    Fucked up world we live in.

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  64. On February 14th, 2011 at 7:27 pm Someone who cares about you. The Real You. Says:

    “Addicts are pretty secretive about their addictions…” Or sometimes they “hide” out in the open.

    I just want you to know that it is possible for someone to know you – to really know you for who you really are – and still care about you.

  65. On February 15th, 2011 at 6:42 am jenna Says:

    dude what is your problem?

  66. On February 15th, 2011 at 9:28 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Thank you. I wondered the same thing last night. I decided that was PROBABLY a Jehovah’s Witness.

  67. On October 13th, 2011 at 9:11 am nicki Says:

    Dear “Someone who cares about you. The Real You.”
    First of all, if you truly cared, you would talk to Becky in person or at least leave your fucking name. Second of all, do you realize how incredibly unethical it is to slap a label or a diagnosis on someone if 1) you don’t have all the facts and 2) you are not a professional that has the authority to diagnose and 3) you ARE a professional that has the authority to diagnose but this is not your patient!

    So, unless you are a mental health counselor or doctor who has been treating Becky for quite some time now, how dare you tell her she is an addict!

    Narcs three times in one year is NOTHING when you have chronic pain! Although I NEVER get anywhere close to this, my Xanax Rx is written as follows:

    Take one tablet 3 times a day as needed. That is a lot of fucking narcotics to prescribe! So don’t go judging anyone, especially someone who requires pain meds 3 times a year.

  68. On October 13th, 2011 at 10:55 am nicki Says:

    Dear Someone Who Cares About You. The Real You, please read. Aunt Becky, I hope you read as well. xoxo

  69. On February 14th, 2011 at 7:28 pm Hamlets Mistress Says:

    I love you, Aunt Becky! I hope you feel better! Happy Valentines Day!

  70. On February 14th, 2011 at 7:28 pm Hamlets Mistress Says:

    I love you, Aunt Becky! I hope you feel better! Happy Valentines Day!

  71. On February 14th, 2011 at 7:42 pm Johi Says:

    I am so so sorry. I have battled my own My Grains. They blow hairy donkey balls. After reading your truly hellish ordeal I feel really bad for all that blubbering I did about not getting to meet The Pioneer Woman. I hope you feel better soon and that people stop trying to label you with the untruth.

    P.S. I really hope that I didn’t send you spam in the email I sent you last week (eek!). After my sign off of “peace, love and unicorns” I pasted a really funny picture of a grown gym rat of a man dressed as a unicorn, complete with hooves in the rearing position. My friend sent it to me and I didn’t seem to have a problem…. ????

  72. On February 14th, 2011 at 7:54 pm Leslee Says:

    I was accused of being a seeker by a doctor in the hospital that my ambulance service was based out of. I was told I was a seeker cuzz the nurse remembered my biological father used to go to the same ER are the time claiming that he was in severe pain from a “car accident” and told the doctor all about it. He also didn’t like that my answer to his, “Why don’t they give you hysterectomy?” question was, “I don’t know. You’d have to ask them cuzz I’ve been trying to get them to rip out my girl parts for years.” The way I proved I wasn’t a seeker? I submitted to a drug test right then and there. He said that was the only way that I was going to get any help from him whatsoever.

    Fucking asshole.

  73. On February 14th, 2011 at 7:56 pm Val Says:

    I’m sorry. I would take away your pain if I could. How do you even manage the kids when you are in that kind of pain? I hope you have some help.

    3 whole times in one year? And you weren’t asking for a long term script, just some relief for the night. Argh.

    Take care, Aunt Bex. Wishing your neurologist gives you some hope.

  74. On February 14th, 2011 at 8:10 pm Kristin (MamaKK922) Says:

    Migraines Are assholes to the max. I suffer from them too. And Imitrex is my worst enemy. It does the same thing to me it makes my head feel like it is leaving my body and not in a good way. It makes my migraines so much worse.When I told my GP that she sat there blinking at me like I don’t understand. And I have so much other chronic pain with my joints and everything else that I am WAITING for the title drug seeker so I can punch them in the gullet.
    I am so sorry they humiliated you. I am so sorry you have to feel this way. I wish I could kick all their asses and take names later. And I wish I could take all the pain away. I wish. Doctors would understand just because you can’t fucking see it doesn’t make it any less fucking painful or real! I wish they would feel what it feels like one day and then maybe they’d understand. But like they say wish in one hand..

  75. On February 14th, 2011 at 9:17 pm a Says:

    Well, after hearing this story, your neurologist ought to give you a prescription for enough vicodin that you could start your own cottage industry. So you can stockpile them and have them on hand when you need them.

    I’m sorry that you haven’t kicked your grains (haha) yet, and I hope they find something that does work for you.

  76. On February 14th, 2011 at 9:36 pm katrina Says:

    Fuckin Idiots!! I am so sorry for your pain. I’ve only had 2 migraines in my life, but they rivaled the pain of natural childbirth. I remember not being able to move, or even blink…and throwing up. Something is very wrong with our health care system and the doctors. My good friend is dying of MS. He is in severe chronic pain most of the time, along with uncontrollable spasms. His neurologist would not sign for a medical marijuana card, which would help with the spasms and his lack of appetite….(it is legal in our state). The doctor also refuses to give my friend anything stronger than Tylenol, saying it’s “against their policy to prescribe narcotics for anyone who might become addicted.” WTF??? My friend was busted for smoking pot in 1969, for christsake! So now 42 years later, he’s not allowed to have drugs to ease his pain…..even though he is dying of the disease. It is sickening, disgusting and inhumane.

  77. On February 14th, 2011 at 9:36 pm BecZhang Says:

    That is absolute horse shit. I’m sorry you had to go through that.

  78. On February 14th, 2011 at 10:34 pm Margaret (@goodbadfamily) Says:

    The migraines are bullshit. I’ve dealt with them since I was a little girl. I grew up in & outnof ER’s, throwing up, and banging my head against a wall because it felt better than the headache. I’ve had the same “rebound headache” crap thrown at me. Look. I’ve had babies. Migraines are worse cuz they f with your head. Have you tried Topamax? After my 2nd baby I had migraines daily so I started Topamax. It’s an anti siezure med and it takes a month or so to regulate in your brain (a good neurologist will give you Vicodin in that time) but it truly works wonders. The first month I called them my (forgive me) retard pills because they mess with your speech a bit. I had a hard time talking WHICH ISN’T LIKE ME. My speech was literally retarded in the real sense of the word. My employees loved it!
    I’m sorry you had that experience. People who have never experienced migraines can’t understand. I hope you find a solution.


  79. On February 14th, 2011 at 10:54 pm Wombat central Says:

    “clinic policy” Is BULLSHIT, as you would say. I’m sorry they made you feel crappier than when you walked through their doors for help.

  80. On February 14th, 2011 at 10:54 pm Wombat central Says:

    “clinic policy” Is BULLSHIT, as you would say. I’m sorry they made you feel crappier than when you walked through their doors for help.

  81. On February 14th, 2011 at 11:31 pm Becky @ Accidental Southern Mama Says:

    Nothing like a migraine to make you feel like mother of the year – not now, honey, Mommy’s dying here. Hope that neurologist can help! I ended up on Topomax for a couple of months while trying to regulate my migraines, it worked. They gave me Imitrex for emergency use and I’ve let it expire a couple of times (I’d rather slam my head in the door until I lose consciousness than take that stuff). My migraines make the side of my face go numb for a couple of days. Nothing like that dentist Novocaine feeling on half your face for days at a time.

  82. On February 14th, 2011 at 11:45 pm Veronica Says:

    I am sorry. It is the worst thing in the world to have the medical professionals – the people who are meant to help us when we’re sick – disbelieve what we’re telling them about pain and needing help. Every time it happens, you lose a little of your faith in them.

    It took me 7 years to get a diagnosis of a relatively rare connective tissue disorder. Who know that my pain was rooted in dislocating joints? When floppy joints are normal, you don’t realise they’re out of place and that’s why it hurts. 7 years of doctors telling me I was faking it, or making it up, or ‘I’m really sorry, but without a positive test we can’t do anything’.

    I get migraines rarely and I can only imagine the kind of bad it must have been for you to make yourself go and get help. I know I’m only a lurker, but oh, I feel for you.

    I have no faith left in doctors and really, it’s a bad place to be. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else, but this post, feels like you’re here with me anyway. xxx

  83. On February 15th, 2011 at 1:19 am Amelia Says:

    I’m really sorry. I wish I had a magic potion to take away strangers abilities to stomp on your soul. I think you’re full of the awesome.

  84. On February 15th, 2011 at 1:25 am Kelsey Says:

    Life with migraines SUCK BALLS.
    I’ve had them since I was five (21 now) and people have only started to believe me that they’re real- my parents only just started to believe 3 years ago. Lemme tell ya, the skepticism from other people is WAY WORSE than the hammering in your skull.
    I started going to an allergist for shots my sophomore year of HS (because I have SO. MANY. TRIGGERS. and my migraines kept me out of school too much) and was promised that I could take my mixture to be administered by the college nurses when I moved. When I went to college, my allergist changed his mind because there wasn’t a practicing Dr in the building at all times and then the college just didn’t care. In order to miss a class, I have to walk a mile to the nurse BEFORE the class. Otherwise, it’s not excused. There are maybe 3 nurses and I can tell as soon as I walk in whether they’re going to believe that there’s something actually wrong with me or if they think I just want to miss class. Seriously? I just walked a freaking mile to you with a migraine! Missing class must be important. I’ve started just not going. I can’t take the rolling eyes or “Uh huh, right” *writes POSER on chart* anymore.
    Oy. All of that to say, I’m sorry. I understand. We should just move underground where there wont be a bright, eye blinding sun and we can sleep away the pain all the time.

  85. On February 15th, 2011 at 1:33 am The Restaurant Manager Says:

    That sucks!! I know how painful migraines can be!

  86. On February 15th, 2011 at 1:41 am GingerB Says:

    People who don’t believe in chronic pain are bullshit, people who don’t believe in My Grains are bullshit and when medical professionals get too jaded they should go run a golf course. Even my sister who I love dearly is an asshole NP about this – she’ll say everyone who comes to pain clinic wants to know WHY and examine every Google link or idea they can to dissect and analyze pain and illness and she thinks they should put it out of their minds and go live their lives without the focus on despair. I think she’s never been in a decent car wreck or had migraines/back or neck pain/ arthritis etc. etc. – the list goes on and on. Of course people want fucking answers, and fucking help. I think you were sorely abused, Becks, and I am sorry.

  87. On February 15th, 2011 at 2:01 am Ester Says:

    oh shit Aunt Becky, I’m sorry 🙁

    I don’t have migranes. I had ONE spinal tap headache in the two years I was on chemotherapy and it is ABSOLUTELY the most memorable pain I have had in my entire life. After that, whenever I felt bad for myself I would remember that some people have to give themselves shots every day and some people get shitty crippling headaches. DICK DOCTOR!!!

    I don’t get it either. fucking bartenders still get paid if they serve an alcoholic. Don’t doctors still get paid whether they relieve the pain of a person in PAIN or a person going through withdrawl? Sorry, I am NOT trying to imply I think you’re a drug-seeker. …Personally think there are MUCH MUCH MUCH worse things a person can be, but anywhatevers. A doctor who couldn’t sympathize with that kind of pain should get bent.

  88. On February 15th, 2011 at 2:57 am Opto-Mom Says:

    Migraines totally suck donkey balls.

    My husband shattered his heel a few years ago, and also had 3rd degree burns on his arm and hand. The E.R. sent him home with an appointment to see an orthopedic doc the next day. They gave me an Rx for some pain meds, but it was almost midnight, and the nearest 24 hour pharmacy was about an hour away. Yet, they told me not to leave him home alone.

    And exactly how am I supposed to get the motherfucking Rx filled? So I asked if they could sell me some to get through the night. They looked at me like I was a goddamned crackhead. His fucking heel is SHATTERED! Not fractured, but shattered into many, many pieces. Did they think I crushed his foot like Kathy Bates in Misery, just so I could get some painkillers?

    Anyway, they gave me 4 of the lowest dose of Vicodin. Now the husband is 6’6″, so one of those is like half an Advil for him. I’ve never seen him in pain like that. We lasted about 3 hours at home, and I ended up taking him to another ER. The 1st ER was at a very small, local hospital with no orthopedic docs on staff. The 2nd ER was in a bigger town, and is multi-specialty, so they admitted him immediately after I handed them his x-rays and the doctor looked at them.

    Then they gave him Dilaudid, which made him feel better. But the best part was that it made him say all kinds of crazy shit, which I think I’m going to have to blog about now, because he was funny as hell!

    Hope you’re better soon. And send the Urgent Care people a big ole Texas-sized “Kiss the Opto-Mom’s White Ass.”

  89. On February 15th, 2011 at 7:17 am domesticating Says:

    Ever hear of a cluster headache? It’s like a migraine that goes on and on… A hundred years ago they used to hospitalize people for cluster headaches because they were afraid they would hurt themselves!

    Doctors are jerks! I’ll send you a big bottle of vic0din, not because I love your writing (i do btw) but because that’s all doctors insist on giving despite my telling them it doesn’t work and it gives me an ulcer and could they please find something that doesn’t contain tylenol??? Not looking for morphine here, just something that doesn’t kill my liver.

  90. On February 15th, 2011 at 8:30 am ColinP Says:

    I totally feel your pain Aunt Becky. Migraines they suck, and they suck HARD. I did not understand the joy of them until after a work accident where something heavy was dropped onto my head. One concussion and a few days later I found myself cowering in my bedroom with the lights off, the TV volume set to 1 and the brightness turned down to almost 0 and everything was still way too loud and way too bright.

    Mercifully I do not get them often and when I do I am just light and sound sensitive but there are the occasional days where they just knock me on my ass.

  91. On February 15th, 2011 at 9:38 am Keri@GlamorousArmy Says:

    Thats some A-grade bullshit. Imitrex sucks balls…I had it and it made mine worse.

  92. On February 15th, 2011 at 10:06 am Kelly Says:

    I was having cluster migraines last year. I had gone to the Urgent Care Clinic. They prescribed me vicoden, and tramadol, to take together. Repeatedly. Which made the migraines worse. I kept going in, finally made an appointment with my regular doctor, she did the same thing. Then she sent me to the Neuro. On maintenance drugs now, not the Max, but other stuff, and am mostly doing okay.

    I found out the other day, when I was in for Bronchitis that they had put in my file that I was a “drug seeker,” when they were the ones doing this too me. I couldn’t even get some cough syrup with codeine in it. They sent something to the pharmacy as well, stating that. I couldn’t be more pissed off.

    I feel like I should be able to sue them for slander.

  93. On February 15th, 2011 at 10:41 am Jebica Says:

    Totally delurking because I feel so bad for you!
    I’m a neurologist. I get migraines. Anyone who won’t treat a patient in the midst of a full-blown migraine should have their left eyeball sloooooowly pulled out and allowed to SNAP back into the socket. And then have their ass removed.
    Imitrex is crap once the headache is that bad, all it will do is give you side effects.
    I hope your doc gave you a med that will work for you.

  94. On February 15th, 2011 at 12:47 pm txjennk Says:

    Thank you, I’ve been trying to find a way to describe migraines to my non-grain family members. Eyeball pulled out and snapped back into socket is the perfect description!!

  95. On February 15th, 2011 at 11:09 am Well Read Hostess Says:

    As someone who is home in bed this very moment high as a freaking kite on pain meds b/c her My GRAIN made her vomit it all up for two days, I cannot imagine how totally horrific this was for you.

    I think it called for punching. Someone needed to be punched.

    Of course, that doesn’t do much for the “I’m not a crazy addict” image, but still….punching.

    You need a good doctor and a big scrip for backup.

    Sorry honey. Hope you got what you needed soon.

  96. On February 15th, 2011 at 11:32 am JamieH Says:

    Oh Aunt Becky! I am so sorry!! As someone who’s parent has problems with painkillers and Zanax I know how you feel! When I broke my ankle the Dr. wouldn’t give me anything stronger than 800mg ibprofin because when I had my wisdom teeth out 5 YEARS BEFORE I had asked for a different rx because I was allergic to the one that they gave me.. I found out they had red flagged me because of that, even though it was my first time on pain meds (I have always been careful because of my mom)and I gave the pills I was allergic to back to the Dr… People just suck! I know how humiliated I felt and I’m so sorry that someone else had to go through it too! {{hugs}}

  97. On February 15th, 2011 at 12:36 pm d, the undomestic housewife Says:

    That’s absolutely horrible.. I’ve only had one migraine – and goodness me, it’s not an experience I would ever like to repeat (or could have survived without whatever medication the nice little walk-in-clinic doctor gave me).. I cannot imagine going through it regularly..
    I’m sorry you went through that. Other people suck.

  98. On February 15th, 2011 at 12:55 pm magpie Says:

    Oh honey. That sucks.

  99. On February 15th, 2011 at 1:54 pm BiblioMOMia Says:

    Aunt Becky,
    I could commiserate, but that’s not helpful (not constructively helpful at least).
    You need to find yourself a neurologist you trust. Someone who specializes in migraines and head pain, and who can run the myriad of tests that will figure out how best to treat you. You need to NEVER, EVER, EVER go to an Urgent Care Center for migraine pain again–they’ll just screw you up, and treat you badly, and leave you with nothing useful. You need to find someone who can help you manage the break-throughs and rebounds, so if you ever get a “real one” again, you can call his pager in the middle of the night and he will call in a prescription for you. Something real. Something that works.
    My neurologist saved my life. No doubt. I was a shell of a person, and he gave me my life back. And he would never, not in a million years, try to tell me my pain wasn’t real, or that I was “seeking” anything, whether drugs or attention. My drug protocol gave me my life back (topamax daily, maxalt at onset, imitrex shots if the maxalt didn’t work, and vicodin on the very rare times I couldn’t make things stop). Find someone at a MAJOR ACADEMIC MEDICAL CENTER, even if that’s far away. I go to Georgetown, for what it’s worth…
    Seriously. You HAVE to do this. I don’t say this as someone who’s trying to give you a hard time. I say this as someone who has been to hell and back with my grains, and has come out the other side. Where there is no pain.
    Good luck, hun. They’re a bitch–but they can go away. I promise.

  100. On February 15th, 2011 at 2:11 pm Mwa (Lost in Translation) Says:

    That’s TERRIBLE! What is a person in pain supposed to do then? That sucks goat testicles!

    I broke my tooth by teeth grinding in my sleep once, too. Horrible. But the other thing is even more horrible.

    By the way, I will now thing of Valentine’s as VD-day forever. That made me laugh.

  101. On February 15th, 2011 at 3:26 pm vorko Says:

    Oh yeah, now I remember why I hate urgent care again. -.-

    Also, had to go into the ER once for a tooth that had cracked and infected. I was in an excruciating amount of pain, face throbbing and couldn’t sleep, think, see straight at all. ER doc asked me if I’d had penicillin before. I told him I was allergic, it makes me very nauseous and dizzy. The doc looked at me as if I were made of stupid and said ‘well, that’s probably because you were sick at the time.’ what. I don’t know how my own body feels? So he prescribed it again and I was too screwed up to argue. Funny thing, same symptoms. It goes down as ‘allergic, don’t fuck with me I WILL NOT ACCEPT IT.’

  102. On February 15th, 2011 at 5:03 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Okay, I just got stabby on your behalf. What the fuck?

  103. On February 15th, 2011 at 3:34 pm Melissa Says:

    My asshat neurologist labeled me a narc-seeker IN MY MEDICAL RECORD. Then denied it.

    I have severe fibromyalgia, two insane little girls and PMS that causes vomitous curl into the fetal position migraines that, if left unchecked, trigger fibroflares that can last 2-3 weeks. The great irony is that I have a husband who is a recovered narc-addict, who stole my pain medicine enough times that I frequently was left without.

    There is NOTHING like being denied the medication you need b/c some dickwad thinks you are abusing meds … especially when you personally have lived with an addict who wrecked large portions of your life.

    Love you, girl.

  104. On February 15th, 2011 at 5:02 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That is fucking bullshit. I’m indignant on your behalf (thank you for understanding)! My neuro is fantastic and I love him madly but fuck, man, why does it have to be so hard sometimes?

  105. On February 15th, 2011 at 9:10 pm Molly Says:

    What sucks is the actual drug-seekers who ruin it for the people who are actually in pain.

    I deal with drug seekers everyday in my place of employment, and they make things so difficult that it’s hard to not treat everyone like that. But I’m sorry you had to go through that. It’s experiences like yours that make me think twice before judging someone.

    Not everyone understands pain, and that’s also a shame. Fortunately there’s research going on all the time for these kinds of things, to fix the issue. Just hurry the eff up.

    I’m glad that you always have a sense of humor about life and can share with your fans. That’s what I enjoy most about you!

  106. On February 16th, 2011 at 1:07 am Laura Says:

    Holy Fuckballs! Why didn’t I see this earlier? Motherfucker!

    Okay…I want to get in my truck and drive to that Urgent Care and punch that Urgent Care policy maker in the taco. Because I know how that feels. I do, believe me. Arthritis is a motherfucker and doctors like to be all…here take this extra-strength Motrin and quit bitching.

    I’m also the adult child of an addict, or two…so I don’t do drugs or drink or that shit, because I’m fucking scared of being an addict myself.

    I don’t take pain meds unless I have to. I’m a single mom, I have a kid with Type 1 diabetes…I can’t afford to be all loopy. So, when I get accused of being drug seeking by some idiot nurse who has a mom who has arthritis, so clearly, she knows all about MY arthritis, I get quite crabby. Thankfully, I live in BFE, so even though we get traveling nurses from other areas, our Docs are local and know me and know that if I show up at the ER crying, they give me a shot of Demerol and send me on my way.

    I’m so sorry that happened, Aunt Becky. I know that you understand policy and all of that, but when you’re in motherfucking pain, understanding matters for shit.

  107. On February 16th, 2011 at 4:13 am Sara @ Life with the Two Says:

    I am a labeled drug seeker.

    In 2006 I had the nerve to go to the doctor for back pain three times. Over those three visits, I was given a grand total of 30 Percosets. 30. In all of 2006. When I went in March of 2007, a full year after my first visit, and after 2 MRIs and 1 chiro appointment, I was told I could have nothing stronger than motrin, because I was only 25, and clearly was looking for pills to support my “habit”.

    The first page of my medical chart says “May Exhibit Pill Seeking Behavior”, AND there’s a note on my file at the pharmacy. I love the military system.

    I come from a family of addicts and I know I COULD get hooked easily, so I avoid them like the plague. Also? My bladder is really small, so taking something that would give me cotton mouth ranks right up there with being forced to listen to Justin Beaver and that Hannah Montana chick on my list of fun ways to spend an evening.

    Much love and hugs my dear!

  108. On February 17th, 2011 at 1:50 am Ami Says:

    *hugs* I want to stab him through the throat with a speculum for you. I really could beat him down while screaming “How the fekking hell does that qualify as ‘DO NO HARM’???!!!”

    I’m so, so, so sorry for you sweetie.

  109. On February 17th, 2011 at 2:44 pm Cainus Says:

    Man, I’ve felt the same way.
    A few months ago I was having a serious eye problem. It felt like there was a permanent lens flare in my right eye. This caused many headaches and I couldn’t even look at a computer screen.
    Turns out it was optic neuritis, which is basically ‘your optic nerve screwed up, lol’, but because it wasn’t measurable I had an absolute bitch of a time trying to get doctors to pay attention to me.
    Now I’m lucky. I have health insurance. I finally got it diagnosed but it took over two months and I had the hardest time not screaming, pointing at my eye and going: ‘Lens flare! Permanent! Not attention-seeking! I don’t have a medical record because I never see the doctor because of shit like this!’
    Yeah- if it’s not broken or bleeding, some people just don’t care.

  110. On February 17th, 2011 at 3:00 pm Michy Says:

    Hmm I coulda sworn I replied already, but I’m all full of stupid this week. Hah!

    And, uh, FUCK THAT SHIT on the my grains AND the doctor. DRUG SEEKING ONLY THREE TIMES A YEAR? WTFF?

    I wish that doctors would stop to think a little more… if a person is in pain right now, then figure something out.

    BLAH I’m just all speechless and can’t think straight, so I’ll shut up, but suffice it to say that I send internet hugs (without being creepy, right? haha) and I hope to GODS you’ve gotten some relief from the pain. I cannot imagine the grains lasting over a week, I’m usually at the hospital on the 3rd day or so.

  111. On February 17th, 2011 at 3:08 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I’d luckily had a prearranged visit to the neurologist the following day and through a combo of other things managed to knock it out by yesterday. THANK THE LORD.

    The whole thing made me…it made me sad. More than anything else, I guess, it made me sad.

  112. On February 17th, 2011 at 4:42 pm Michy Says:

    I just wish that more doctors would be careful with bandying about terms like that. Thankfully, The Mate has a great pain specialist that prescribes pretty heavily for him without arguing, but it took us a long time to find him. And our regular doctor is pretty generous with the meds too, but that’s after building a relationship where he sees that we under-use the drugs he gives us.

    It wasn’t always that way, we had a pharmacist accuse him of drug-seeking for trying to fill his Duragesic patches scrip, and I wound up getting fired from my job in the front end of that pharmacy over it.

    I don’t want to wish pain on anybody, but there are time when I wish those doctors had to deal with daily CONSTANT pain with everybody accusing them of faking to get drugs so they could understand how hurtful it is to hurt physically, and then add emotional pain on top of it. Even addicts deserve good treatment, they are people too!

  113. On February 19th, 2011 at 12:58 pm Heather Says:

    I once ended up in the ER with a migraine. Gosh I hate that place. They aren’t very nice obviously. But I have a history of cancer so when their IV shots of Phenergan weren’t helping (and holey hell they made those as painful as possible)! They were sorta obligated to take me seriously. They did a head CT (clean thank goodness).

    Finally they found my cure IV Compazine and IV Nubain. The Nubain cured all my pain for a couple days! After researching where I could get some of that Nubain I learned it’s injection only (bummer) and it actually causes immediate withdrawal of opiates (I guess like Narcan). They didn’t bother to ask if I was taking opiates (yes regularly scheduled). But after a bit of psychosis I was sound asleep.

    I followed up with my doc to ask for something for the migraines…he tells me that if they get that bad again that I should return to the ER and request IV Nubain. Ahh like that is going to go over well. Ugh. They like I mentioned are not a friendly crew at all and I can just imagine them twisting my request for what I’ll call an “anti-opiate” into drug seeking cause they just like to do that. I feel ya girl…really I do!

  114. On February 19th, 2011 at 9:19 pm tallymomma Says:

    I’ve had some of the same issues. I’ve had migraines ever since my 1st child was born (at 21)and they have only intensified with each pregnancy. I have gone from mild migraines, to having migraines with auras, to them finally escalating to hemiplegic migraines. Thing is with 3 small children there is not much relief available that doesn’t knock you out. Even if you do go in, esp. with the hemiplegic ones they still are always eyeballing you. I can walk in slurring and half paralyzed from the migraine and they still wait up to 4hrs to give me anything. By the way I am a first time reader and commenter as I saw you were nominated on the Bloggies. Congrats!

  115. On March 1st, 2011 at 9:28 am Melanie J. Says:

    Feeling your pain from the spouse’s side…my husband went through neuro after neuro before ending up in pain management, which has him on methadone and an opiate, so he enjoys rebound migraines daily as a result, but he has so reached the ceiling treatment-wise, they don’t believe detoxing and starting over is worth it. I don’t know what career he’ll have in this land of fluorescent office buildings, and the good ole US gov doesn’t believe he’s disabled yet. Thanks for listening. P.S. Found you thru P’Dub, loving your archives!

  116. On March 7th, 2011 at 3:37 am Jane Says:

    I am one of those people prone to headaches, migraine and colds. Usually, my first recourse is White Flower Embrocation (, also called White Flower Oil

  117. On October 12th, 2011 at 10:56 am Family Ties | | Mommy Wants VodkaMommy Wants Vodka Says:

    […] But this comment came from an IP address in the area local enough that a family member could had written it. It said, in a comment dripping with patronizing condescension (forgive me for paraphrasing), “You’re an addict hiding in plain sight.” […]

  118. On October 13th, 2011 at 9:43 am FNJerzeeGrrl Says:

    Reading this for the first time from the link in your post. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot for sure! I hate how the vastly uneducated members of the medical profession this a My Grain is about just a “headache.” It’s a mother fucking neurological disorder and opioids are NOT the answer. I have had the My Fucking Grains since age 10. Ive been to the ER just a handful of time because I’ve learned that most often you will be treated like a drug seeker or a big fucking whiny pants.

    I’ve been given Demerol (got hives) with NO effect, morphine, no effect and nauseated, a spinal tap that leaked, but was sent home anyway for FIVE FUCKING DAYS until it felt like my brain was being scraped raw by my skull (and guess what? IT WAS!!) Then I got a blood patch and that fixed it. Google blood patch, it’s medieval.

    I’ve been told, “we cant give you any more medication.” When all I really wanted was the CORRECT medication. Triptan based drugs do not work for me, and if you take an SSRI (antidepressant) like I do a triptan drug is deadly, it can case serotonin syndrome which is BAD.

    The only thing that have ever helped is an injection of compazine from a very smart, tiny Indian doctor lady. So now I have the rectal rocket variety for home just in case things go from “I can deal” to “split my head with an axe and let Athena out, please.”

    And because I like to share, both my children have my fucking grains too. Anyone who suggests you are an addict because you have an almost impossible to treat neurological disorder can SUCK IT HARD.

    LOVE YOU long time, AB!

  119. On February 20th, 2016 at 3:02 pm Nicole Diver Says:

    Landed here searching for toradol treatment for migraines. A few things jumped out at me. You’re the child of two alcoholics… And your blog is titled Mommy Wants Vodka? Come on now. You say you’ll never go to an ER or Urgent Care again. Not even if your pain is bad enough and/or you’re concerned about an underlying condition? If you’ve been to an urgent care 3 times over the past year, well, yeah. They’re going to question why your primary care physician or neurologist isn’t treating your migraines. The nurse practitioner wasn’t inadequate. S/he sent the doctor in to handle you. Quite egotistical to believe otherwise.

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