Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

A Basement Kitty By Any Other Name.


For a very brief moment in time, I considered becoming a vet. That was before I realized how unglamorous “expressing anal glands” was and vowed to be Aunt Becky, MD, the diamond-encrusted tiara-wearing, flawlessly brilliant doctor, which makes what I do now even more laughable.

Reach for the stars, kid. Just don’t be surprised if they don’t reach back.


I woke up on Saturday to the whining of two very small, very bored short people. I hadn’t been up for twenty minutes before Amelia was asking to go to the store to buy some Hello Kitty shirts and Alex was grumbling about the solar system he’d constructed out of tennis balls.

Blearily, I suggested we go to the green house – Alex’s favorite hotspot – a prospect that was met with hoots, hollers and elated screams as the two small people struggled to dress themselves.

We spent an hour there before I had to drag them away from the koi ponds and those gazing balls (which they call “planets.”). They were both fairly indignant and I wasn’t quite ready to take them home, so I suggested that we go to the animal shelter to look at cats.

I’m big into shelter animals. Especially the type that aren’t normally adopted. I try to go for the one animal in the whole joint that looks as though no one will ever adopt it (see also: my one-eyed cat named Ophelia; may she rest in peace).

My (NON-SPONSORED) PSA for the day: did you know black cats are less likely to be adopted? Anderson Animal Shelter, where we adopted our cats, was teeming with them. Apparently people still think they’re bad luck. I say, shut your whore mouth and adopt some black cats.

Two hours later, we left with two new cats.

Now I’m stuck naming them.

(I nearly named Alex “Cash,” if that tells you anything.)

We used to foster cats, well before The World’s Crankiest Baby was born, and it turns out that naming cats isn’t all that easy. Our last foster cat, I named “Little Cat” because she was both “little” and a “cat.” I wanted her adopted just so she could be saved from the hell of living as “Little Cat” for the rest of her long life.

The first cat was easy to name. Her shelter name was “Cassie” which is a fine name for a cat, although I immediately called her “Chloe” because I can’t remember names to save my own ass. So Chloe it is.

The second cat, a portly black domestic medium hair, has proved to be trickier. In fact, it’s been so tricky for me to replace his given name, “Kendell,” that I’ve been calling him “Basement Kitty.” Because he hangs in the basement, natch.

I’ve been rolling names around in my mind. Frank? Ed? Bunny? Puppy? Joe? Maximilien François Marie Isidore de Robespierre?

You know how you just KNOW when something is right? Well, none of those are.

In the meantime, I’ll keep calling poor Basement Kitty, “Basement Kitty,” until something better comes along. For his sake, I hope it does soon.


What should I name my blurry cat, Pranksters? HALP ME.

160 Comments to

“A Basement Kitty By Any Other Name.”

  1. On May 12th, 2011 at 11:44 am Lauren Elyse Says:

    I am partial to naming black cats things like Snowball or Edelweiss. I also like names like Hippogryph.

  2. On May 12th, 2011 at 11:50 am Rick Says:

    I vote for “blurry cat” you suggested it yourself and kinda goes well with the name of the blog:)

  3. On May 12th, 2011 at 6:52 pm Lurker Berserker Says:

    Agree! Blurrycat!! I always give cats names that are fun to say (like Sweaty Spaghetti Machete), and Blurrycat definitely qualifies.

  4. On May 12th, 2011 at 11:51 am The Sweetest Says:

    Jacques? Herman? Willard? Don’t ask me where these names are coming from.

  5. On May 12th, 2011 at 11:51 am Penny Says:


    (this come from my brother naming our white cat cracker since he thought it was hilarious to hear our mom yelling “cracker” around the neighborhood….he also named her second outdoor cat “Dweezil” since she has no idea who that is ;-)) Maybe something from the dark side? Good luck.

  6. On May 12th, 2011 at 11:52 am candace Says:

    Purple. It’s not just a flavor anymore.

  7. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:08 pm Penny Says:

    Love it!

  8. On May 12th, 2011 at 11:59 am ybnormalmcgehee Says:

    I would love to help you Aunt Beckers but alas I feel B K would suffer a much worse fate if I were to name him. Example: 1) I once called a stray shit eater as I was begrudgingly feeding her and my son who was three at the time asked me what I had said from that moment forward the poor dogs name was Shitita.(She got me back. She was preggo with seven little shit eaters.)
    B) I have dog named Xena. Now that’s not that bad really, if she were a fifty or sixty pound doberman but… well she is a two and a half pound mini pen chihuahua mix.
    90) My sons middle name is E L.

  9. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:01 pm Alyssa Says:

    I’m partial to Walter because well, it’s just one of those names that’s is just odd but loveable to me. You could always name him Dexter or House after your tv husbands, because what shows more love for a tv husband then naming your new cat after one!

  10. On May 12th, 2011 at 4:25 pm Kate Says:

    Dexter is an awesome idea!

  11. On May 12th, 2011 at 7:21 pm Elizabeth Says:

    I LOVE Walter! And you could call him Wally! I’m totally going to name an animal that someday soon!

  12. On May 13th, 2011 at 11:27 am JLK Says:

    Dexter is an awesome name!

  13. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:02 pm K Says:


  14. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:04 pm K Says:


  15. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:05 pm Leigha Says:

    I think you should name him AZRAEL, the same name as Gargamel’s cat on Smurfs. =)

  16. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:23 pm Leigha Says:

    I promise I am not a robot. 🙂

  17. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:07 pm Stacey Says:

    I’m probably not one to ask. I have an African Grey parrot named Bob. Everyone seems to love the name Bob for the parrot though. Our other bird (an Amazon) is named Kiwi.

    I’ve had dogs named Cosmo, Zoe, Patton, Cricket and Chloe. I had a cat named Mango.

    My unoriginal suggestion is Vader.

  18. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:08 pm Peanut Says:

    I had to laugh reading your story, because my Mom HAD a Basement Kitty (similar name) when she was a kid! Growing up my Mom and Aunts had a number of cats that didn’t always get along. As a result they were kept in differnt parts of the house away from one another. The two that were the worst were Upstairs Kitty and Downstairs Kitty – named after the parts of the house they lived in. Genius names no?

    Back to the issue at hand! The names of a few cats I have encountered over the years did pop into my head, so I thought I would share them with you: Space Kitty, Godzilla, and Cheese.

    ….I never said my suggestions were good…..hehehehehe!

  19. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:22 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:


  20. On May 12th, 2011 at 7:55 pm badbadwebbis Says:

    Because then you can say ‘Cheese-us’ when you get mad at him. By the way, your page looks funny when I’m using the internet at Panera.

  21. On May 12th, 2011 at 11:29 pm Heather Says:

    Jay Leno’s cat is named Cheese. Whoever said Whoremouth Cat, made me think you should name him BILLYMAYS! But you must always scream it as one word just the way he did-BILLYMAYS!

  22. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:17 pm Teala Says:

    What about Pickwick, Bogus, Jasper, or…. Eduardo del Sótano (Eduardo of the Basement-According to Google Translate)? 😀

  23. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:18 pm Justin Says:

    Whatever, Maximilien François Marie Isidore de Robespierre, is a perfectly acceptable name. Though I would just end up calling him François all of the time.

    Though our adopted black cat is named Loki, he came named thus, and it is rather fitting, or at least was before he got old and lazy and only cares about food. Anyways, I suck at naming cats. We have 5, I named 0 of them. Maybe you should just cut to the chase, and call him asshole now, because kittens are assholes anyways. They hate nice things, and flesh.

  24. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:18 pm Ryan Says:

    Aunt Becky,

    Why not name him after your favourite brand of Vodka? Schmirnoff.. Absolut, Stoli..
    should be an easy one to remember and a great tie-in to his “Mommy” blog debut! He is a cutie and the Basement moniker sounds kinda “Dahmer-ish”.


  25. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:21 pm Caroline Says:

    Whore Mouth Cat? Edward Scissor Paws? Gin and Tonicat? His Royal Catness Prince Kitty the Third?

  26. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:25 pm Kathryn Says:

    Edward Scissor Paws! I love it. I might steal that one when I get a kitty.

  27. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:23 pm Kathryn Says:

    The first one that comes to mind is Retrovirus, but that has a bit of a negative connotation. Maybe Sergeant Blackpants?

  28. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:29 pm Chris in PHX Says:

    I would go with “Damn it cat, quit scratching the furniture”!

  29. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:29 pm Meg Says:

    I’m with your first poster (Lauren Elyse) on naming a black cat “Snowball” I just think its much better than “midnight” which I named my first black cat…I am no good on nameing animals. When I got my cat from the shelter they had named her ‘Fabrice’ (not after the air smelly thing) after a french chocolatier, b/c well she looks like someone mixed a whole bunch of chocolates together, I shortened/changed it to ‘Reese’, b/c it is easier to say she looks like Reese’s Pieces (totally does)…hey since it is a blurry cat, just shorten/change “Kendall” to “Dali”

  30. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:33 pm Ina Jones Says:

    I believe in naming cats the names I associate with little old men. Even my girl cat has an old man name. How about Merve or Walter? Eustice maybe?

  31. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:34 pm Shawne Says:


    We have 3, 10 week old pups right now….a black/white boy named Chip, a brown/white/gray/tan roly poly boy named Hiccup (he was born with them. Seriously.) and an all white boy named…Blur. He was just like your Basement Kitty…can’t get a picture of him to save my life….every damned one was blurry…so, we named him Blur 😉

    Love your blog(s)!!

  32. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:36 pm Shawne Says:

    I’m not a bot, I promise….why does your blog think I’m a bot??

  33. On May 12th, 2011 at 12:59 pm Jess Says:

    Cats are awesome! I will never NOT have a cat again! I didn’t get my first feline until I was 21 and have never looked back! As of today, we have six cats in the house…our roommate has three and we have three. It is WONDERFUL! Except all the shit in the litter boxes and furring up of things.

    But back to your problem. It doesn’t really matter what you name them cause they will always be called something else.

    I have Kit and Kaboodle. But I just call her Kitter and him Boo-Boo. Or bitch and whiney.

    Then there is Kizzi, whom we call Kizz-a-roni, or Roni and now Disaronni…

    And also Stryker Hawk who is mostly just called Little Boy…I could go on for days, really.

    Call him Bubbles. 🙂

  34. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:01 pm Melissa Says:

    He is totally a Howard.

  35. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:01 pm Michele Says:

    Jerome? Mort? Mortimer? Kenneth?

  36. On May 12th, 2011 at 11:52 pm Michelle Says:

    I JUST saw this after I commented! Another Michelle for the name Mortimer! It’s a sign.
    Ok, so you spell your name with one L, but still!

  37. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:02 pm Kristin (MamaKK922) Says:

    I am all for the Black Cat we have 4 well now we’re down to one others have gone to meet their maker from old age. Laughably one of them was named Jordan Catalano after My So Called life cause umm I loved him and she was born and adopted during that time. And got thousands of nicknames. No one survives my house without a nickname or 200. Our current surviving Black Cat is named Inky he came with the name, but sometimes we call him Fernanado, or Bruce, Or Maurice. All after songs. He answers to them all, so when you live at my house you better be prepared as an animal to answer to at least 4 or 5 different names. So I say Pick you top 10 and just start calling him them and whatever mood your in for that day there you have it.

    Oh we also had Bipolar black kitty named Ruby who ran away traitor whore, anywho not bitter at all, She refused to answer to Ruby on some days I kid you not we had to guess what name she wanted to be called. When you got it right she would look at you. Then she moved down the street traitor whore. Perhaps I made her bipolar with the names her fickle nature all her own.

    Good luck. I liked Americus. I am also partial to François Marie Isidore de Robespierre because it is hilarious. Oh and I know I have written a book but I had a friend who named her dog Chloe Fucker so she could go outside in the middle of the night and scream FUCKER FUCKER because they had an annoying neighbor whose dog Frenchy escaped at that time everyday.

  38. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:03 pm amber Says:

    I had a dream last night that I got a cat and people were making fun of me because I wanted to name him McGrubber

  39. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:21 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:


  40. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:33 pm amber Says:

    Go ahead. I don’t have a cat named McGrubber and even if I did it’s doubtful they would ever meet eachother

  41. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:08 pm MKP Says:


  42. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:13 pm Eliza Says:

    Nominating the word Eclipse ~ it is a fine name for a black cat. Having had one which lived to 19 years with that name; not that it gives a longevity to a cat.

    Just do yourself a favor and buy yourself some pet insurance. The kind your vet likes/accepts is usually on display at their counter. Trust me, it saves you all kinds of insane expenses if something befalls your kitties. Will be buying same for the next cat I have. Usually the insurance provides the annual check up for free for the premium payment or something like that.

    Happiness is new furry people in the house!

  43. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:18 pm HereWeGoAJen Says:

    We adopted a black cat that showed up on our front porch once. She had kittens and ended up with the lifelong name of…Mama Kitty. So don’t ask me.

  44. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:19 pm Amanda Says:


  45. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:27 pm Vinobaby Says:

    Personally, I’m fond of my cats names: Puppy, Booger, Oops, Kit Kat, and Noisy.

    Other names for a black cat I adore: Boogieman, Monkey, Blanca, and Chat (which just sounds like you’re swearing but really you are just being unoriginal in French). Oh and I had one friend who called their kitty V.D.


  46. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:34 pm Lindsey Says:


  47. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:41 pm Jenn Says:

    Slinky! He looks nice and flexible. He’d even look graceful rolling down the stairs.

  48. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:45 pm stacey@Havoc&Mayhem Says:

    I’m hopeless. I either go mythological – Athena, Pandora, Buddah or I got blindingly obvious – 5 gray cats named Shadow, Ghost, Smoke, Ashes & Slate.

    Pluto for the god of the underworld? Loki if he is michievious? Vader because I like Star Wars references?

  49. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:49 pm Becky Mochaface Says:

    Sirius Black. Wait. Sirius is the dog star. Felis Black? Leo? Regulus is a star in the Leo constellation.

  50. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:00 pm Ms Dreamer Says:

    Does someone have Harry Potter love? Cause that makes me <3 you. 🙂

  51. On May 13th, 2011 at 5:36 pm Yvonne! Says:


  52. On May 13th, 2011 at 5:49 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:


  53. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:52 pm VEG Says:

    I too am partial to the underdog (so to speak) – it’s how a completely un-adoptable partially blind and deaf dog at my local shelter ended up being the bed and couch hog that he currently is in my house. I have a basement kitty as well, her name is Selena. I can’t believe that anyone wouldn’t want a black cat – they are full of the awesome, as you would say.

    I suggest either a completely insane name like Knickerbocker, or a very dignified one like Merv.

  54. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:53 pm Misfit Mommy Says:

    Any of these will do: Snowflake. Burt van Hornsby. Or Coolio.

  55. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:53 pm Julia Says:

    Doesn’t really matter, you’ll never call it by it’s name anyway. My cat is names Nacho, but is called “pretty boy”, “lovebug”, “buddy”, “cutie”, “fatso”, “dumbass”, “retard”, “greedy gut”, “rolypoly”, “kittycat”, “mister man”…etc.

  56. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:55 pm Sugar Free Says:

    Chef. Yeah, I like Chef.

  57. On May 12th, 2011 at 1:58 pm Txtingmrdarcy Says:

    One more vote for “François Marie Isidore de Robespierre”. Or William Arthur Phillip Louis, because during the Royal Wedding I realized how TOTALLY BADASS it is to have THREE MIDDLE NAMES.

    Or Dexter. Basement Cat could totally be a serial killer. 😉

  58. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:07 pm Tracie Says:

    I am sneezing just looking at that picture…so I am no help.

    But when in doubt? I always name pets Fred. Keeps it easy to remember.

  59. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:08 pm thepsychobabble Says:

    Bastion the Basement cat

  60. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:17 pm Brittany Says:

    I had a cat named Kujo, he was seriously the best cat ever. I hated cats until I saw him and begged my husband for three days to go back and get him. He may have lived up to his name to most people (what can I say he had an attitude problem and didn’t like to be fucked with yo) but he was the sweetest, cuddliest cat to me. Now I am left with our cat Lil’ Bitch or LB for short, she totally lives up to her name, I threaten her with the shelter at least once a day.

  61. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:17 pm Katrina Says:

    Nice. He looks like a Rasputin to me.

  62. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:18 pm Kristin Says:

    I think you should name him Nibbler after the little black and white creature from Futurama.

  63. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:40 pm Carrie Says:

    He looks like a George.

  64. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:41 pm TheEvilStepMom Says:

    I can’t really help, my family was notorious for really horrible names! My cousin named his cats Stupid and Stupids Sister for example.

    Just wanted to say, yay for you adopting shelter cats. I’m a big fan of adopting shelter animals too!

  65. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:45 pm Sandy Says:

    How about Lestat?

  66. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:45 pm carrie Says:

    Zephyr!!! cuz its cool!

  67. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:45 pm Carrie Says:

    We’ve had a Friskie, an Ophelia, a Mister, a Bonus, a Third, a Sybil, an Outside Kitty and a Riot Grrrl. I am currently owned by an Artie and a Dilbert. My sister now has a cat named “The Kitty.” She also had feral cats she fed and housed. One of them was “Baby Daddy.” Sometimes, the obvious *is* what fits.
    I was planning on renaming the current cats, but that seemed like too much work. Had I gone that route, I think one of them would have been Mojo. It just seems like a cat name.

  68. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:47 pm txjennk Says:

    I don’t know. I always wanted a dog named Boris and a cat named Natasha so I’m not the person to help with names. (I also have a brother who always wanted to have twins and name them Tallahasee and Bayou Lebatrie)

  69. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:49 pm Tiffany Says:

    Name him Kahn, after the Star Trek character, so that you can amuse yourself by yelling “KAHHHHHNNNNNN!”

  70. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:52 pm jen Says:

    phoenix the basement cat

  71. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:54 pm Jbah Says:

    Raisin – that is all.

  72. On May 12th, 2011 at 2:54 pm domesticating Says:

    PSA received!

    I adopted two black cats from a shelter a few years ago. One promptly up and died on us a few weeks later(heart defect, which just about broke mine), but the one who is still with us is the most affectionate little ball of energy you’ve ever seen. Her name is Lucy, we call her Pooka Bear, and every night after we go up to bed she gets lost and howls at us until we call for her. She’s the dumbest thing on four legs and she sleeps on my pillow every night. I wouldn’t have her any other way.

    DH and I said if we ever end up with a boy cat we are going for a greek mathematician name, Pythagoras, Archimedes,etc. Of course I am fond of Aloysius as well.

    Congrats on your basement kitties!

  73. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:04 pm Ms Dreamer Says:

    I’m no help in the cat naming department – we’ve always had dogs.
    Whiskey. Tiger and Little Bit. Bandit. Buggs. Buckwheat. Baker. Biscuit. Blackie. Belle. Yeah, there’s a bit of a trend in my family…that I had to break with Daisy and Duke (not intentional). My mom, has Booger/Boogerbutt and Squeaks/Squeaker (they are, however, cats). I’m all for Francois…or Joe.

  74. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:05 pm little big Says:

    The most badass name ever… “Beverly.”

    Oh, wait, your cat’s a dude? Then Ferdinand. Obvs Ferdinand.

  75. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:14 pm Eden Says:

    i vote for Creepy (goes well for a basement kittah, Creepy) or an Addams family name like Mortimer, Pugsley, Thing, It…

  76. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:15 pm Nico Says:

    Pickleface Schnicklefritz. But I swear, it’s not because I want to embarrass you should you ever need to go walking the neighborhood searching for the cat, calling its name. I truly feel it’s a noble name. *nods*

  77. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:15 pm magpie Says:

    Peeve. My mother had a black cat, her pet Peeve. There are no kittens AT ALL at my animal shelter. I don’t know why.

  78. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:24 pm Cristina Says:

    I adopted a black cat from the SPCA years ago, so they were thrilled to see her go. Plus, she’s wayyy less bitchy than most female cats.

    As for names, a friend of mine named her black cat Sabbath. Or you could just call him BC (Basement Cat). One cat I know was dubbed DC, which is short for Dumb Cat. Or just the spelling of cat (see-ay-tee). I’ve heard of dogs being named Dee-oh-gee (DOG) so why not a cat?

  79. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:33 pm Amelia Says:

    I’m afraid I’ll be no help in the area. I named my cat Bitch Kitty. Because, you know, she was a bitch. We still loved and hugged on her all the time, she just bit us while we did it. *shrug*

  80. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:33 pm CycleNinja Says:

    Name him Dy-no-mite after Jimmy Walker.

  81. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:44 pm Missy Says:

    Ninja. Rick Bayless. Samuel L Jackson. Uncle Rico (because you’re Aunt Becky, duh).

  82. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:46 pm cate Says:

    He looks like a Carl to me.

  83. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:51 pm Cathy Says:

    You should name your cats Oprah and Denzel.

  84. On May 12th, 2011 at 3:59 pm Charlie Says:

    I went to the shelter specifically looking for a black cat. I left with two because they were 6 months old and from the same litter and the lady didn’t want to separate them. You could name them after the black cats in “Emily the Strange” It’s a comic book about a little girl with 4 black cat sidekicks.

  85. On May 12th, 2011 at 4:06 pm Mary Says:

    I named our cat Poo-Bear because his head was shaped like a bear, reminding me of Winnie the Poo, and the fact that I was the one who was stuck with shoveling out the poo in his litter box. At our area shelter, they had a 30 lb. black cat named Beast. They had to keep the dogs away because he would attack them.
    I’d wait a bit to see what his personality is like before deciding.

  86. On May 12th, 2011 at 4:16 pm tangeria Says:

    please to be naming the cat hagrid. my husband wouldn’t let me name our dog that, (but he was fine with pippin?) and it is SUCH a good pet name.

  87. On May 12th, 2011 at 4:29 pm Smaaaaaash Says:

    I fail to see the problem with Basement Cat…..

  88. On May 12th, 2011 at 4:33 pm Kate Says:

    I learned that about black cats when I was volunteering with a cat rescue a few years ago. I had actually just adopted a black cat from another rescue at the time (I didn’t qualify to adopt from the rescue I was working with because I didn’t have an enclosed outdoor area the cat would have access to).

  89. On May 12th, 2011 at 4:39 pm Lilly Addams Says:

    My last cat (black female) was Nyx, after the goddess of the night.

  90. On May 12th, 2011 at 4:41 pm Lilly Addams Says:

    There is also “piewacket” from the old movie, “bell, book, and candle”

  91. On May 12th, 2011 at 5:47 pm BecZhang Says:

    When I was six my dad got me a cat that he named DC. I found out years later that it stood for dumb cat.

  92. On May 12th, 2011 at 5:50 pm Kelli Says:

    I am a fellow black cat lover myself. My girl (Matilda) also has various “bitchy” names as well. Psycho Bitch, Ninja Bitch, Sucka Bitch. She is a bitchy little kitty and a complete BADASS! she kills anything that comes into our yard, and then brings it through the dog door (NOT cool). in fact, the other day she beat the living shit out of my friends lab. As in the lab was running away, and she would let her get away for a second and then BAM! she was beating that bitch’s ass! Just had to share my Ninja Bitch story. The following names are approved for other awesome black kitties:

    Maybe something literary? Keates, Pip, Gatsby, Scout…..

    Something just a bit different? Cicero, Hollis, Thadeus, Bertrand.

  93. On May 12th, 2011 at 6:00 pm KaraB Says:

    I loves me some black cats! My first cat ever was a black cat, Jinx, aka Jinxers. We now have a little terror of a black cat named Lily aka Satan.

  94. On May 12th, 2011 at 6:26 pm Gretchen Says:

    When I was little my dad let me adopt a cat, which turned into TWO cats because I just so happened to fall in love (immediately) with them at the same time, and they were brother and sister in the same cage and couldn’t be torn apart. (Daddy!!! We CAN’T separate them! They would be soooooo sad!). Hence, how I ended up with Star (who was all black except for a white star under her neck) and Spooky (who was all black… and was therefore… spooky). I’m all about naming them the obvious. This one, I suggest: Black Scratch.

  95. On May 12th, 2011 at 6:40 pm Jess Says:

    I suck at naming things. This is how I ended up with a male cat named Sunshine (hey, he’s orange, what do you want from me??). My black kitty (may he rest in peace) was named Moonshine. His entire life people screwed his name up and called him Moonbeam or Midnight or Moonshadow. So, you know, any of those would apparently work for a black cat. Thank you for adopting black cats. They are the best!!

  96. On May 12th, 2011 at 6:46 pm PottyMouthMommy Says:

    Call him Satan…

    good lord does he look evil in that pic- like he’s going to jump right out and eat my eyeballs… while I’m still ALIVE!!

    On that note- I love black kitties! Almost all of the cats I’ve had have been black cats. And I’ve loved them all!!

  97. On May 12th, 2011 at 8:19 pm Jennifer Bohrer Says:

    we have six cats that moved in on us…..our neck of the world is a popular cat dumping site…crap. anyway, the two black ones,Olive aka Piglet for her bottomless appetite and Ninja Mouse. He was a scared kitten living in the garage, he hid and ran like a mouse but grew up with awesome stealthy ninja skills. Ninja is a real love and has become a favorite….don’t tell the other 5 ‘kay?

  98. On May 12th, 2011 at 8:25 pm becky! Says:

    I say Kingsford, like the charcoal. Cause its black. And you can call him King 🙂

  99. On May 12th, 2011 at 8:28 pm MaryPoppinSertraline Says:

    I adopted a black cat six months ago, along with her tuxedo cat sister. I named them Mischief and Mayhem. I’ve been considering adopting a third female cat, and naming her “Mrs. Tibbles”…because, if I’m going to end up a Crazy Cat Lady, the cat should have a Crazy Cat Lady name! The next ones after her would definitely be “Chaos”, “Havoc”, and “Destruction”, though. On the other hand, I once owned a bunny named “Aristophanes”, so maybe you shouldn’t listen to me… *cough*

  100. On May 12th, 2011 at 9:07 pm Yahpee Says:

    Ya know? I’m pretty partial to François Marie Isidore de Robespierre!

    Frankie works too!

  101. On May 12th, 2011 at 9:17 pm Kolleen Bouchane Says:

    I likew Maximilien François Marie Isidore de Robespierre. Robey for short. Though Robespierre is what I call my bathrobe so in my house that would be confusing. I would end up wearing the kitty, which is creepy(ish). You could go with an acronym. I think its time to start that. In stead of basement kitty, what about ROFL. Or ROBFL? B= basement and everyone wins.

    Just saying.

  102. On May 12th, 2011 at 9:26 pm Stacey Says:

    I have a black cat (Bella, our beauty). She has elected to live in our basement.

    As for naming your cat . . . hmmmm . . . I don’t know. First name that came to mind was Oliver, but it’s not nearly as fun as some of the others I’ve read in the comments. If I had another cat I’d probably name him something like Sebastian or Mercutio.

  103. On May 12th, 2011 at 9:40 pm Sarah Says:

    Zeus, Father of Gods and Men.

  104. On May 12th, 2011 at 9:41 pm Sarah Says:

    What’s up with all this robot talk?

  105. On May 12th, 2011 at 10:37 pm BK Says:

    Tuna is a good name for a cat. Other suggestions from my children are Hobo and Trash Digger.

  106. On May 12th, 2011 at 11:02 pm Shevaun Says:

    When I was a kid, we had a cat named B.C. It stood for Big Kitty. And yes, Kitty starts with a K. But my dad can’t spell, so he passed it off by saying that the name was versatile, and would stand for Big Cat when he grew up. But he was attacked by a mongoose, so he never did grow up…sigh.
    Also, I named a cat Titania, and my dad named our two others Brute and Runt. So just don’t let him name yours, and everything will be fine.

  107. On May 12th, 2011 at 11:49 pm Michelle Says:

    Mortimer an oddball but cute geeky name. Mort, or Morty for short. Mortimer Snerd for the long name. (I Love Lucy fans will get it)

    Meatball? Cute for a little animal that rolls around on the floor.

    Laugh at me if you want, but I think they’re cute names. 🙂

  108. On May 13th, 2011 at 1:14 am starle Says:

    you HAVE to name it ‘kendal mint cake’

    That is the best cat name ever! I’ll even send you one to try if you aren’t sure.

  109. On May 13th, 2011 at 3:49 am Jenn Says:


  110. On May 13th, 2011 at 6:04 am Jolie Says:

    My Dad adopted a black 3 legged cat from a shelter. His name for her? Girl. My kids thought that was hilarious. I felt sorry for her, but she would look and sometimes come to you when you said it, so she was cool with it. whatev.
    I think he looks like his name should be Ninja. Or Ska-doosh. Cuz he totally looks like he’s gonna thump ya one. OOOH, go retro and call him Hong Kong Phooey – then you can sing the song when you’re talking to him. Cuz he does look like he’s got style, super style.
    That’s it. I’ll be referring to him as Phooey. 🙂

  111. On May 13th, 2011 at 6:24 am Amy Says:

    Oh my gosh!!! Al his name is clearly Al.

  112. On May 13th, 2011 at 6:24 am Amy Says:

    Oh my gosh!!! Al his name is clearly Al.

  113. On May 13th, 2011 at 7:30 am John Says:

    I, too, am horrible at assigning names. I once had a cat who had been passed from one college friend to another . . . eventually, it ended up with me because he had been fighting on the streets of DC and continued to fight with any cats that he was housed with.

    So, hopefully, my dogs would teach the cat a lesson.

    The cat loved to wrestle with the dogs . . . I long suspected that he changed himself into a dog with how “at home” he was about them, so I named the cat Lupin.

  114. On May 13th, 2011 at 7:30 am Leslee Says:

    Both of my black cats were adopted from the animal shelter. Yay for me! Interesting fact, around Halloween and Friday the 13th, shelters (around HERE anyway) will NOT allow black cat adoptions cuzz they’re afraid that people will adopt them and them do evil things to them. I fucking hate people sometimes.

    Anyway, my black cats are named Baby Mae and Mydna Marie. Mayhaps you could name YOUR black kitty Sugar. Or Pookie. 😀

  115. On May 13th, 2011 at 8:03 am Linda Says:

    Paddy O’Ferniture. Picture yourself calling the kitty for snacks -your neighbors will think you mad, the judge have you committed. 3 squares a day and someone else does the laundry. Although they will keep sharp objects away from you and censor your mail.

  116. On May 13th, 2011 at 8:21 am The Mommy Therapy Says:

    I think all pets should be named after states or presidents, it gives a lot of choices and most sound pretty cool. I’ll going to suggest something like Wyoming, Tennessee, Coolidge, Van Buren, or Fillmore.

    Good luck!

  117. On May 13th, 2011 at 8:25 am Emily Says:

    First time posting! Woot woot! Anyhow, back to topic. I’m going to go with Muttons. Because, seriously? It’s awesome and you know it. Or perhaps Robert. I always wanted an animal named Robert but the man won’t let me 🙁 We have three dogs (SammySon, Lilah, Marley – prior to the book!) and one kitty my son named (Figaro, or as we call him Chitty Face). I also like Mr. Bojangles, B K looks like a Mr. Bojangles 🙂

  118. On May 13th, 2011 at 8:26 am Momma Chaos Says:

    Aww I didn’t know that no one wants black kitties? Geesh, I’m apparently out of it because I have been searching for one.. Although now I’ve fallen in love with a gray instead. I have no idea for names, I tend to use human names -like I really want another baby & Daddy Chaos says no so if I get a kitty her name will probably be Isabella (Izzy) b/c if I had another daughter I’d name her that.. lol. Do not go with Daddy Chaos’ suggestion of Shithead. He insists that any cat I get will be named that but with my 3yr old going into preschool I just don’t think that will be a good idea.. lol Good luck w/the naming & congrats on the new kitties! (or titties as Dimples says)

  119. On May 13th, 2011 at 8:35 am Ry Says:

    I am a black kitty lover myself, my two current ebony babies are Jaguar and Linus (named after my kid’s fave cartoon characters at the time).

    Kitty’s past have had a plethora of interesting names….Sprouty, Ming the Merciless, Biscuit, Gus Gus, Martini, Rossi, Domino, Rossi Jr., Zima, Blaster, Jugs, Ting Ting and Queen Pussyfoot.

    So I would suggest cartoon characters (Optimus, General Snozzie, Ludwig Von Drake,Yakko), food (Cracker, Hamburger, Bacon) or alcoholic beverages (Stoli, Patron, Remy) as ideas…LOL…obviously….and looking at all these names together, what was I thinking? And my family must be alcoholics! 🙂

  120. On May 13th, 2011 at 8:54 am Josefina Says:

    Nancy. Or Roger.

    I also considered becoming a vet. Large animals, though. Probably for the best that didn’t happen. I guess. *sigh*

  121. On May 13th, 2011 at 9:03 am Mimi Says:

    He looks like a Simon to me. My daughter had a couple of black cats that she named Brother. Funny thing is they were all girls.

  122. On May 13th, 2011 at 9:13 am tracy in ohio Says:

    We have a young cat named frank which we call frankie-baby (my three year old started that one.) And my other cat is named Cammie but my twelve year old has taken to calling her hobo kitty because she is old and losing fur in spots on her body. She kinda looks like she has had a rough life on the streets (not really she is a spoiled princess that I baby to death.)

  123. On May 13th, 2011 at 9:39 am Anne Says:

    When my parents first moved in together back in the early 70s their downstairs neighbor had a black cat named Steve, and I kinda think that is the best cat name ever. When my parents got a black cat of their own a few months later they named her Rhonda, which is also an awesome black cat name.

  124. On May 13th, 2011 at 9:45 am Suniverse Says:

    Our black cat is named Adelaine. She was named by the girl in honor of my sister’s black cat named Adelaine. So if you have a black cat, I think you need to name it Adelaine. Particularly if it’s a boy cat.

    Or, you can do what we did with most of our cats growing up – we called them Matse. Which is Albanian for cat.

    Clever people, us.

  125. On May 13th, 2011 at 9:54 am ThePeds Says:

    Sin, Squeegee, Toast, Ra (like the one in Egypt). I love black cats, mine’s a Tuxedo formally named Bastet but she is Mew or Mew-Mew. (Though my husband and I can’t agree on a spelling. He spells it Meuw.)

  126. On May 13th, 2011 at 10:11 am Linda Crowe Says:

    I love Basement Cat. Had a friend that called his second cat, Becky Cat, because that was the name of the ex that dumped it on him. However, I just rescued an 18 month old male dog from the shelter, and named him Jake. He’s tough. He’s adorable. He IS a Jake.

  127. On May 13th, 2011 at 10:21 am Melissa Says:

    I have a black cat that I took in and named Bellatrix after the evil Bellatrix from Harry Potter. She mostly gets called Bella unless it’s 2am and she’s clawing my face as she so loves to do. I call her basement cat when she’s looking particularly pleased with herself after she does something naughty and reminds me of this basement cat ( I’d call him Basement Kitty and call him BK for short 🙂

  128. On May 13th, 2011 at 10:21 am Danielle Says:

    Oddly enough I am on the “prowl” for a long/medium haired black female cat. I was actually hoping to find her today, on Friday the 13th….

    Anyways, I like….no LOVE basement kitty…If you have ever read an LoLCat that includes Basement Cat, you just can’t go wrong. I mean i think names give character, and that name, based on THAT site, gives A LOT of character….

  129. On May 13th, 2011 at 10:38 am Jennifer Says:

    Chuck Norris! I have been dying to name something Chuck Norris.

  130. On May 13th, 2011 at 11:12 am Yvonne Says:

    I’ve always let my kids name our cats – not always a good idea. Some cats we’ve had: Grahila, shinjiku, Grifter, Honey, Bowie, Jezzebelle, Spooky,Nikki, Katana, Batman. See what I mean? Now I have my own – Tigger.

  131. On May 13th, 2011 at 11:33 am JLK Says:

    How do you READ all these comments every day???? Jesus Christ!

    Anyway, I adopted both of my cats from a litter of black ones. One is black with a small white bowtie and I went back and forth trying to name him something playing off of the fact that he isn’t QUITE all black, as those ones are believed to be straight-up cursed or something.

    So I named him Jinx. Which, a few years later, Meet The Fockers starred another kitty named Jinx. And I also call him Mr. Jinx and Jinxy, just like Robert Deniro, who is always cool shit.

  132. On May 13th, 2011 at 2:12 pm heydave Says:

    WTF? Cats are supposed to have names?
    I just inherited two cats from a friend and immediately forgot the dumbass names her kids gave them.

    They are now kitty.

    And the other kitty.

  133. On May 13th, 2011 at 3:46 pm Evan Says:

    Little late in the game, but my black kitty is named Simon. I sing him songs. Don’t judge me.

  134. On May 13th, 2011 at 3:51 pm Evan Says:

    Sorry, that wasn’t a comment just to tell you what *I* named my cat – I’m offering up Simon as well.

    It works – nick names: SiSi when he’s good & Simone when he’s acting like a little pussy. When he’s being a jerk, it’s Black Asshole but I digress….

  135. On May 13th, 2011 at 4:03 pm Kaycie Christine Says:

    There is a female cat that has lingered for years around the warehouse of the oil company my husband works for. They call her “Work Kitty” (and when I say “they” I mean that’s what Husband and I call her).

    I think Basement Kitty is entirely appropriate.

    At least you always know which one you’re talking about. How informative is “Pepper” or “Sassy”? Is that gonna tell you where the damn cat is? No.

    Basement Kitty? Oh yeah, I know exactly the one you speak of. It’s in the basement, duh.


  136. On May 13th, 2011 at 4:18 pm Katie Says:

    Your cats should totally be named Chuck and Sarah.

    Or you could go with Fang, as in Hagrid’s dog. We had a boarhound puppy at the shelter where I work who bore that name and I just about brought him home.

    (Side note: big black dogs are adopted even less than black cats. Nobody knows why.)

  137. On May 13th, 2011 at 4:18 pm Katie Says:

    Your cats should totally be named Chuck and Sarah.

    Or you could go with Fang, as in Hagrid’s dog. We had a boarhound puppy at the shelter where I work who bore that name and I just about brought him home.

    (Side note: big black dogs are adopted even less than black cats. Nobody knows why.)

  138. On May 13th, 2011 at 5:38 pm Yvonne! Says:

    I named my cats after my favorite singers. I have Joplin and Matthews. And Buddy but he’s named that because he follows me everywhere. He’s my buddy.

  139. On May 13th, 2011 at 7:22 pm Erin Says:

    I think Basement Kitty should be named Angus MacGuyver.

  140. On May 13th, 2011 at 8:25 pm Camille Says:

    Frank. I can’t explain it…that cat looks like a Frank to me. Maybe it’s the hormones or lack thereof. Whatever. Name him Frank. You won’t be sorry.

  141. On May 13th, 2011 at 8:50 pm Magic Says:

    I think he looks like a “Paladin” to me. Mostly because that cool guy in “have gun, will travel” always wore black and would shoot you just as soon as look at you. In looking a bit before proposing this, I also found out that Paladin relates to:
    Fictional characters

    Paladin (comics), a Marvel comic book character
    The name of the main character in the television and radio Western series Have Gun – Will Travel
    Paladins are a secret society out to kill jumpers in the 2008 film Jumper
    A legendary Knight Errant in Terry Brooks’ Magic Kingdom of Landover novels

    Any of those could work too…especially the killing jumpers one…he’d do that I think…just because they jumped.


    Anyway…just my two cents AB…I’m sure he’ll help you choose the right name soon enough. 🙂

  142. On May 13th, 2011 at 9:22 pm karen Says:

    one cat i adopted from a shelter had a shelter name of sophie. i liked it so i kept it, it saved me the trouble of renaming her. i had already had to change cinnamon to max, jockamo to jack, and suburu (seriously!) to millie. however, sophie does not like people, she is terrified of us giants, especially me since i insist on picking her up and loving on her. when she runs away i pretend like i meant to and start saying booga booga, so now i just called her boogie and when she gets scared she boogies away. everyone else calls her sophie, maybe that’s another reason she hates me? hmmmmmm i’ll have to go find her in my basement where she boogied off to when i got home from work and ask her.
    in honor of my aunt mary, i suggest the name friday, that was the name of her black cat, meanest SOB would you would ever meet.

  143. On May 14th, 2011 at 12:02 am Kyddryn Says:

    We tend to let cats name themselves ’round here. Little Bit, Squeak, Ferocious, Tiger, Shawshank, AJ (Adrenaline Junkie), White Socks…yeah, we have a few because people keep letting their cats have kitens and then putting the kittens out when they can’t find homes for them – and kittens? Grow up to have MORE kittens, and I feed them because I’m a soft-hearted sucker who can’t let them starve, poor ickle things…sigh…

    Meanwhile, I once had a friend who called his cat “Seeaytee”, or, if your prefer. “C-A-T”, because he couldn’t think of a name, so there’s always that.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go feed Rook, Maya, Ki, and Milka so they won’t nest on my face while I sleep. Ingrates.

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  144. On May 14th, 2011 at 12:42 am Jenn Says:

    At our house, we had a cat names after a Star Wars character, a cat named after his own small genitalia, and one named after a drag queen. And my parents were responsible for naming the last two.

    So….Snowball sounds safe.

  145. On May 14th, 2011 at 1:09 am charity Says:

    Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve. That is what you should name basement kitty.

  146. On May 14th, 2011 at 1:09 am charity Says:

    Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve. That is what you should name basement kitty.

  147. On May 14th, 2011 at 10:39 am Caroline Says:

    I am going to suggest Harry Potter, only because my daughter suggests that EVERYTHING be named Harry Potter, and if I have to endure that, so do you.

  148. On May 14th, 2011 at 1:01 pm Amanda Says:

    I very originally named my first black cat “Salem” from some 80’s movie or another (j/k i totally know which one it was…it was hocus pocus)

    Name him Maximus!

  149. On May 14th, 2011 at 2:44 pm Penbleth Says:

    There’s a lot to be said for Basement Kitty, especially as in that photo it looks like its got its tongue lolling out to one side and is cross eyed. Poor kitty.

  150. On May 14th, 2011 at 4:22 pm pam Says:

    BK. Which will morph into Beek which will morph into Beaker which I love.

  151. On May 14th, 2011 at 4:22 pm pam Says:

    BK. Which will morph into Beek which will morph into Beaker which I love.

  152. On May 15th, 2011 at 11:41 am Jessica Says:

    He looks like a Rufus.

  153. On May 16th, 2011 at 9:59 am Cindy Bennett Says:

    I have two kitties, both shelter rescues. Lilly and Shiddy. Shiddy is called that because well…..she passes gas and it is AWEFUL!

  154. On May 16th, 2011 at 9:41 pm Ewokmama Says:

    Well…I have named my pets after characters in books and movies. So, um, what movies and/or books do you like?

    I met a Siamese cat named Echo once. I thought that was brilliant!

    I named my sister’s cat for her – Gizmo.

    Our dog was going to be Lando (from Star Wars) but then it got changed to Lambert (from the Steelers). That one was all David.

  155. On May 16th, 2011 at 9:44 pm Ewokmama Says:

    Oh, also, I think you should go with Cletus. Or Hannibal.

  156. On May 17th, 2011 at 10:53 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Cletus the Slackjawed Kitty?

  157. On May 17th, 2011 at 3:23 pm Satan Says:

    lol, basement cat.

    we actually had a cat named LBC – for little basement cat.
    although i will totally admit to naming her after a reference in a snoop dogg song. it’s just that i got tired of explaining it to people, and most people get the basement cat thing.

    all this rambling to say, i think basement cat works just fine. BC for short!

  158. On May 17th, 2011 at 3:54 pm Sarah Says:

    I vote Lloyd McFurryballs of the Vanderbilt Furryballs. Although I wouldn’t trust my opinion, my cats are all named after poisons.

  159. On May 19th, 2011 at 8:44 am Kendra Says:

    First of all, I have taken my dog to have its anal glands expressed. You are very wise to have shifted away from that career path.

    Second, I have always wanted to name a pet any of the 23 names from the Dr Seuss story “Too Many Daves.” (If you don’t know it, it’s worth getting, just to read it every day, out loud if possible.) There are 23 delightful names in it, including Paris Garters and Harris Tweed and Oliver Boliver Butt. But probably my favorite is Zanzibar Buck Buck McFate. It’s a long list of great choices!

  160. On November 21st, 2012 at 11:08 am harper Says:

    Pet names…hmm…Amos, Diego, Henry, Harrison, KJ, Bartholomew, Tiberius, Rudolfo…Dr. Claw…

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