Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

3D Or Not To 3D: That Is The Question.


I’m not from a very sentimental family. We don’t tend to cherish hand embroidered pillows with platitudes like “If You Weren’t My Mother, You’d Be My Friend,” nor do any of us refer to our weddings as “The Happiest Day Of My Life.” Hell, I had the most traditional wedding of any of us, AND I’m the only one who actually boasts an engagement ring.

The other two women in my family proposed to their (now) husbands (my brother and my father), if that gives you any indication of how traditional and/or schwoopsy-poo we all aren’t.

It should then go without saying that with my two previous pregnancies, I did nothing that would be even remotely considered sentimental to commemorate them, assuming that the stretch marks and loose vaj-jay-jay paid enough tribute to my children. Dave and I jokingly discussed commemoration in the form of those soft-focus maternity pictures, where he and I would look serenely down onto my (heavily airbrushed) belly, assumably imagining the future of our second child together.

And before either of us choked on our own vomit, we agreed that the only way that this would happen is if we were both wearing KISS masks. Because THAT would be something worth commemorating. And also? HILARIOUS.

I’ve seen ads for these things called Belly Casts, and although I haven’t seen one in person, I’m shocked by this. Maybe I’m the only one who grows to Oompa-Loompa proportions, in a way that I can only consider shameful, or maybe I’m the only one insecure enough about it to not want to immortalize the immense shape of things. I’m not sure.

I’m even less sure of what I would do with one in the event that I cast one in my sleep (or semi-conscious waking state, as the case may be). Hang it on my wall? Use it as a serving tray for festive holiday dips? Occasionally pull it out and remind my children, using my most guilt-ridden voice, that THIS is what they did TO ME?

Not gonna happen.

But, Amelia (if all goes well) will be our last child before Yee Old Uterus closes up shop permanently (or gets a fancy piece of expensive, hormone-covered metal stuffed up there), and I do want to try something I’ve only ever seen other bloggers do.

A 3D ultrasound.

Yes, my friends in the computer who keep me sane during long, long days, I am getting one of those new-fangled ultrasounds that will invariably make my daughter look as though she might be part alien. Which, if you’ve seen the shape of her father’s head, may not be entirely far off.

But, I digress. This is not an entry about how my husband may or may not be descended directly from aliens, it’s about my entirely selfish desire to see my daughter before I meet her come January. Because the ladies in my family (namely me) have a uniquely interesting affliction post-birth. We’re ugly. Really, really ugly.

Now, you might argue, most babies, especially those that come rocketing down the old Love Hole, aren’t exactly gorgeous at birth. Unless one happens to find garden gnomes or teeny-tiny old men to be perfectly lovely specimens, which I do not. Ben was a forceps child, and while I will spare you for this moment, the lovely side-effects that a forceps delivery entails, that method of being plucked out quickly meant that he was a beautiful newborn.

(before you think I’m bragging about the beauty of a child who was born wearing what appeared to be a toupee, let me assure you that he was beautiful for about a week. After which, he got acne and lost the bottom half of his hair. And got incredibly fat)

With Alex, the doctor was kind enough to let me labor down, so that when it came time for pushing, I pushed a total of maybe 2 or 3 times before he was born. Let us not speak of what that says about the general size of my delicate girly-bits, okay? But a side effect of that was that he was born looking….kind of funny. Sort of like a tiny, balding version of The Daver, with a head that we often joked could be used to chop ice or bang dents out of cars.

(Now he is a much larger, hairy version of The Daver)

However, when *I* was born, back in 1980, a much different story was told. Specifically, after I was expelled from my own mother, she said (and I am not kidding), “Well, now THAT is a face only a mother could love.” Apparently, then she told everyone in earshot that I was a hideous baby for the remainder of her hospital stay.

Gee. Thanks, Mom. It’s a friggin’ miracle that I have as large an ego as I do.

So, Saturday I will gather up the elder sausages and trek forth into the land of 3D ultrasounds prepare myself for the (possible) Grendel-like baby I will be birthing soon enough. Have no fear: I will love her just as much if she’s weird looking and squiggly than if she’s not.

She is MY daughter after all, so she’ll be fabulous.


All righty, my friends who live in the Internet whom I love more than I ever should, it’s GIVE AUNT BECKY ADVICE TIME. I’m makin’ my list, checkin’ it twice (who am I kidding, I’m totally NOT making a SINGLE LIST because I hate them) and I need your input:

What baby goods do I absolutely require this time around? What did I miss out on? What should I make damn sure I’m stocked up on? Because this Soft Focus Brain isn’t lending itself to logical thoughts, so I’m using your brain instead. Thanks for that.

Help a sister out?

53 Comments to

“3D Or Not To 3D: That Is The Question.”

  1. On December 9th, 2008 at 1:43 pm Marinka Says:

    Definitely! But only if you post it here!

  2. On December 9th, 2008 at 1:53 pm Gail Says:

    I’ve never needed a swing or a pacifier with any of my 3. However, I would recommend owning stock in the cloth diaper company. For spit up, and also to encourage the kid to use them as a security blanket. Why? BECAUSE THEY CAN BE EASILY REPLACED AND THE KID DOESN’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. My eldest has about 50 of these “security blankets”. It rocks.

    You also MUST HAVE a sling. Life as a new mom is easier when you have your hands back, and the kid will get awesome sleep. I highly recommend the Maya sling. It’s breathable, lightweight, and my plain black one is totally stylish. People have a hard time believing there’s a baby in there.

    That’s it. That’s all you really need.

    Other than chocolate. Dark chocolate covered sea salt caramels, to be specific.

  3. On December 9th, 2008 at 1:54 pm Catizhere Says:

    When Maggie was born, she got “hung-up” on my pubis. Her little face was so bruised, she looked like an evidence photo. Honestly, when I look at her pictures from a few minutes after she was born, I cry.

    I wish my OB/GYN had the 3D imaging.

  4. On December 9th, 2008 at 2:06 pm Betts Says:

    I know you don’t do photos, but please put up your ultrasound photo on your blog. I’d love to see a 3-D one. I just missed out on that with mine.

    Get a Baby Bjorn. My daughter wanted to be held all the time and I felt like she was going to fall out of a sling. I could even vacuum with her in the BB. A baby swing was also pretty helpful. Other than that, lots of sleepers and diapers.

  5. On December 9th, 2008 at 2:17 pm Chris Says:

    Bottles (if you’re not boobie-feeding)
    Oodles of onesies and footie sleepers
    I had a December baby and I don’t have any idea what I would have done without something that looks like an infant sleeping bag….please bear with me because I can’t think of the exact name of it. Anyway, it consists of 2 pieces of warm fabric that zip together on 3 sides. The back piece lays in the infant car seat. You put baby in, buckle her up, and zip on the 2nd piece of fabric, which covers and warms the baby. For about 90% of the winter, that (and a warm hat) was all she ever needed…..NO SNOWSUITS to fuss with!! For the other days that were a little chillier than usual, I used a fleece blanket to keep her even warmer. Cost was roughly $40 at Babies R Us.

  6. On December 9th, 2008 at 2:30 pm Marie Says:

    With E I never seemed to have enough baby socks. He also would only take one type of paciphier(sp?) wich sadly I could not find in the stores half the time and we were always loosing the ones at home.

    Hope that helps. Its has been a really long time. Now though? I can’t seem to keep enough socks for him either.

  7. On December 9th, 2008 at 2:31 pm DD Says:

    I was really disappointed in our 3D US pictures. ZGirl looked like this:

    Oh, but I’m sure you are right and Amerlia will look fab.

  8. On December 9th, 2008 at 1:38 pm Ms. Moon Says:

    A swing and at least a dozen cloth diapers, even if you don’t plan to use them for diapers. They are necessary for spit-up and all sorts of mop problems. What do people put across their shoulders when they burp their babies without them?
    And there were days (and nights) when only the swing would do to comfort some of my babies.
    That’s what I have to offer.
    This is so exciting!

  9. On December 9th, 2008 at 1:44 pm Rachel Says:

    You need the Huggies lavender scented wipes, lotion and hair/bodywash. I am in love with the scent, and force my son to bathe in it. I don’t care if he smells like a girl. He’ll have plenty to hate me for anyway, this is minor.
    I would also invest in the Dr. Browns bottles if you aren’t going the boob route for feeding little Grendel. Mr. Farty has acid reflux, and these things actually keep his dinner in his belly.

    Don’t worry about how your baby looks….Ceara was born with a inch-long skin tag on her cheek (which she grabbed onto and yanked off a few weeks before the plastic surgeon even got a look at it, an event that looked like a bloody crime scene), and Mr. Farty’s entire face was black and blue, courtesy of his large head being stuck in my ‘girly bits’ for a while. They even put a sign on his basinette ‘My face is very bruised’ lest someone think he was turning blue from not breathing.

    We love the little mongrels anyway, right?

  10. On December 9th, 2008 at 1:46 pm Rachel Says:

    Oh, and by the way, the 3D ultrasound is awesome. Do it, and you’ll be surprised at how often you will catch yourself staring at the pictures. I was so thrilled that my OB’s office has them, I didn’t have to go and pay for them somewhere!

  11. On December 9th, 2008 at 3:09 pm Maria Says:

    Some sort of babywearing apparatus that you like, since it helps chase the older ones around the house. (I’ve yet to master this but it seems like a nice idea.)

    Something to put sleeping baby in. Swing, bouncer, etc. Cause the older ones will be more demanding/poopy/something.

  12. On December 9th, 2008 at 3:16 pm swirl girl Says:

    vodka, olives and vermouth (if you prefer it dry)
    chardonnay , a good Riesling from the Alsace
    ZInfandel (not that pink shit) from the Napa Valley
    a Sitz bath and those freezable maxi pad thingis you steal from the ward
    …and maybe a good doobie or two

    …oh , you meant stuff for the baby!!
    sorry – my bad!

  13. On December 9th, 2008 at 3:23 pm Jenn Says:

    I had the 4D (don’t know what that extra 1D is for) ultrasounds with both my kids. I thought it was just standard procedure now? Hrm.

    Umm… my SIL did all that fancy girly stuff with both of her pregnancies (GAH-JUS pictures that she just HAS to show everyone ALL. THE. TIME.), a belly (and boob!) cast, etc. I don’t get it. I did take a lot of photos MYSELF just to remember being pregnant (scrapbook purposes) but never anything over the top, haha. Then again when I got married I just said, “How about we get married on Tuesday?” and Kent said, “Okay, get the rings.” So yeah. I’m not the best authority on all things sentimental.

    I don’t know why I comment, I never have anything useful to add. I did laugh my ass off at “Love Hole” though and I’m trying to think how I can work that into a conversation with my in-laws on Sunday. Heehee.

  14. On December 9th, 2008 at 3:25 pm Stacey Says:

    You need diapers, onsies, a car seat and some sort of food (breast or forumla). You might want some sort of babywearing device. I like the Maya wrap and the Bjorn personally. A bouncy chair or swing is nice too. Lots of blankets are handy (I got about 9 of them from the hospital each time I gave birth, never needed more).

    I have a friend who did a belly & boob cast of her first pregnancy. Her DH painted it in sort of watercolor earth tones. It hangs on the living room. very pretty, but somewhat disconcerting.

  15. On December 9th, 2008 at 3:26 pm andria Says:

    I could not have lived without my hotsling. ( I did have some sort of wal-mart contraption sling withnumber two that was pretty effective as well, but he grew out of it at around 4 months and we are still using the hotsling so it was well worth the cost. There was no way in the world I could have crossed the parking lot and picked up my kid every day and still have a hand to hold middle without it. I also did not need to fork out dough for a double stroller with it.

    And then also tell them you are so much pain that you’ll need an extra refill on the vidodin. And then mail that little bit of extra to me. I don’t want to have another baby just for some vicodin, but don’t put it past me.

  16. On December 9th, 2008 at 3:31 pm Emily R Says:

    snap t-shirts, burp cloths, a bouncy seat, diapers and wipes. a baby bjorn is nice (esp for colicky babies) but in a sling you can nurse. i prefer the bjorn. you can usually find them used on craigslist (better for the environment to get them used!)

    everything else? window dressing.

  17. On December 9th, 2008 at 3:45 pm mandy Says:

    Bouncey Seat! You must have a device that allows you to be hands-free when you must be..
    Bumbo seat! Again, you must have a device that allows you to be…
    Several assistants, to hand you diapers and wipes and anything else you may not want to get up and get for yourself. (children work fine for this) 😉

  18. On December 9th, 2008 at 2:48 pm Melissa Says:

    I have to 2nd and 3rd and whatever… everyone else that says cloth diapers. Those things are irreplaceable. Also Mylicon drops are a MUST. Those lil ones are so freaking gassy at first and this is the only thing that calmed the Divas down – all 3 of them.

    I had a swing and a bouncy seat. I loved my bouncy seat more. The one that vibrates with music. Loved it. It became the pooping machine. Whenever they were constipated (and let’s face it babies are) I would put her in it and out came the poop. Makes for a happier baby – and mom. Other necessities:

    *Baby Bjorn
    *bottles (even if you are boobie feeding)
    *Lavendar lotion and baby wash. Helps calm down everyone. Maybe even the Daver will bathe in it.
    *Vodka – okay fine ONLY if you aren’t boobie feeding. I owe you that drink after all.

    I totally loved the 3D ultrasound. Only had it on the littlest one due to some medical scares but I would do it over and over – if I was crazy enough to add another Diva to my group.

  19. On December 9th, 2008 at 3:11 pm Em Says:

    Oh, have fun with the 3-D. That was technology I missed out on. I’m absolutely certain she will be beautiful from sweet head to tiny toes!

    The one thing I never had enough of were kimono onesies (goggle it – I promise you won’t be sorry!!) I found plain ones, from Carter’s I think, at Babies R Us, but they are the BEST!!!

    No worrying about pulling her neck out of joint while putting clothes on.


  20. On December 9th, 2008 at 4:17 pm Ginger Magnolia Says:

    I don’t really know much about the new fangled baby junk, but I’m pretty sure they still make Bodreaux’s Butt Paste. It works wonders on diaper rash.

  21. On December 9th, 2008 at 4:24 pm Madame Yu See Says:

    You need a ‘boppy’ and several (at least 2) zip-off covers for same, so you can wash one while the other is being used.

  22. On December 9th, 2008 at 4:25 pm Kristine Says:


    Oh, wait, that’s me, that’s what I need after giving birth.

    Uh, I’d say onesies, feetie pajamas, some blankets that are meant to hold more than a large potato, wipes, cloth diapers for burping and regular diapers for wearing (her, not you…although I have heard the adult diaper route is easier than the mesh panty/giant pad route – I have not tried it.) And the obvious – a car seat. Otherwise, I think you’re probably set. I mean, they’re blobs at first anyway – it’s not like they need toys.

    And by all means, if you have the urge to get the 3-D done, then do it. If you don’t really want it, then don’t bother.

  23. On December 9th, 2008 at 4:37 pm The Mommy Says:

    First, chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate (for you, not Amelia).

    Second, once you find a paci that she likes, buy oodles so as not to run out or in case they decide to quit making them.

    Third, some type of happy baby apparatus – swing, bouncy, whatever. I hear that some babies sleep in their crib, but I don’t know any.

    Also, I agree that you need some type of hand-free baby-carrying device. My boys both hated the Snugli, so for Baby Girl I got a sling. She hated the sling and loved the Snugli. Go figure. I would try to find someone who has a used one and try it out before you buy one of your own. I am just mailing mine off to my niece-in-law (is this even a real relation?), or I’d loan you mine:)

  24. On December 9th, 2008 at 3:38 pm guilty noodles Says:

    Andria, I could not agree with you more. I have the Baby Bjorn (which is yours if you want it) and it KILLED my back. I loved my hotsling, but I always tell people, size is crucial. It’s often better to order a smaller size than what they suggest for a snugger fit. The sling distributes the weight evenly, so you don’t have the achy back. My son lived in it for the first year of his life. How do you think I got anything done?

    I also agree with the cloth diapers. My 3 yr old is upstairs napping with one right now. He never sleeps without one.

    My colicky/acid reflux baby found comfort in the vibrating bouncy seat (I have one… somewhere).

  25. On December 9th, 2008 at 4:05 pm heather Says:

    Ah. My one redeeming quality in MIL’s eyes. I’m the only one out of her children (and DIL’s) who’s had sections — and sections make for perfect little noggins. She still brags about the lovely roundness that was the boy’s head (as opposed to his cousin who looked like Dan Akroyd’s Conehead).

    You need a blanket or two so you can swaddle this one and MAKE HER SLEEP.

  26. On December 9th, 2008 at 4:07 pm Susan Says:

    I wish I could help. But I can’t get myself over the fact that you were born the year I was a sophomore in high school. Going to put the covers over my head…though I love ya!

  27. On December 9th, 2008 at 6:32 pm The Milk Maid Says:

    We did the 3D pics and it was one of the most moving and memorable moments Big J and I had pre-Ava. We’re not all mushy gooshie, but there was something comforting about seeing her (and all her punching at the doppler before mooning us and grabbing her butt cheeks- honka honka!).

  28. On December 9th, 2008 at 7:28 pm mumma boo Says:

    I always wanted to do the 3D pics, but never got the chance. I had enough of the regular u/s with Cenzo to fill up 2 scrapbook pages, though.

    For you: chocolate, new pjs, hot wings, bacon and sausage, and your painkiller of choice.

    For Amelia: diapers (cloth & regular), bottles, formula, pacifiers, sleep sacks, onesies, feetie pjs, car seat, bouncy seat, boppy pillow, blankets, washcloths

    Don’t sweat it – you’ll have what you need, and if you don’t, Tar-jay can ship it to you. 🙂

  29. On December 9th, 2008 at 8:58 pm Rebel Says:

    Ok… I am gonna tell you this much about the 3-D… start drinking water now!!! I didn’t know that, and my fluid was low so I had to go back. Oh yeah and if you are a coffee drinker, get some about a half an hour before… I had a starbucks, and it woke her goofy butt right up!!!

    As far as baby needs, I LOVE the Carters fuzzy sleepers. They are sooooo soft, and they keep them very warm and snug. Along the lines of burp rags, Gerber has some that look like cloth diapers, are big, but have girly designs on them. You can bleach the hell out of them and they hold up really well!!


  30. On December 9th, 2008 at 9:00 pm baseballmom Says:

    I had one of those fleece sleeping bag carseat thingies-it was AWESOME for the stroller and the carseat! I also watched my SIL with her babies in a sling, and wondered why the hell I never did that-maybe because my stretched out belly would have been like a shelf! Her kids slept all the time in those things at family functions, and it was so cool. I’ve heard that the Swaddle Me blankets are something that you can’t live without-I gave one to a friend, and I know they make lots of knockoffs that are cheaper. Pics, definitely, of that ultrasound are in order, girl. I think you should have a contest so we can guess what day she’ll come…with fabulous prizes, of course.

  31. On December 9th, 2008 at 8:35 pm Anjali Says:

    Caffeine (lots of it)

    Wine (lots of it)

    Take-out menus from every restaurant in a 10 mile radius. Make a special note of the ones that deliver.

    Paper products. I’m very pro-environment, but during those first couple of weeks, use paper plates and cups so you don’t have to wash dishes.

    I found a fleece pouch invaluable, too. Especially while chasing two other kids.

  32. On December 9th, 2008 at 8:37 pm Anjali Says:

    Oh, and I should mention that I’m a bad mommy who drinks caffeine and wine post pardum, despite the fact that I exclusively breastfeed.

    (That which doesn’t kill them makes them stronger, I suppose?)

  33. On December 9th, 2008 at 11:34 pm mnsm31 Says:

    I would say:
    Bottles i(even if your are boobing it)
    stand by formula..
    Pacifiers (now shown in studies to help prevent SIDS)
    Blankets–(receivers, and others)
    hat, mittens, Bunting..
    carseat cover..
    wait who am I writing this for again..

  34. On December 9th, 2008 at 11:53 pm excavator Says:

    I haven’t looked over the list of suggestions, so forgive me if I’m redundant. If you haven’t had a My Breast Friend nursing pillow for your other two, I recommend it for Amelia. It’s the cadillac of nursing pillows. It straps around you firmly enough you can almost wear it like a shelf (though they tell you not to with baby on it). It even has a little velcroed pocket that you can carry your TV guide in. Maybe the newer models have a cup holder. I used a regular nursing pillow with my oldest, and the MBF blew it out of the water. I highly recommend it.

    Also, since your (soon to be) middle child is still quite young, you might find a sling to be very helpful. Maybe I misspoke in recommending the MBF–you may not have much luxury to *sit around* nursing. The sling is what made it possible for me to feel a little like I could meet both kids’ needs–sort of. At least I could meet some of the needs some of the time, rather than none of the needs all of the time.

    This is the first time I’ve been back for a while–I needed some blog discipline and so cut back for a while. I do like this new look!

  35. On December 9th, 2008 at 11:57 pm excavator Says:

    Oh, and I’d second the motion on pain killer.

    Don’t know if you’re an over-producer like me (mooooo), but it’s nice to have a breast pump on hand to relieve the pressure–even if it’s one of those hand-pumps.

  36. On December 10th, 2008 at 12:21 am Kyddryn Says:

    Car seat, nappies, burp cloths, laundry detergent, maid service, a live in chef and lots of kiddie Valium for the older two…

    Seriously, there are so many gadgets and gizmos out there that are just a waste of money and space. I would suggest getting basic – a place for the little bambina to sleep (when she’s sixteen, because we all know they don’t sleep until then), nappies, ointment, and a drop cloth the size of Manhattan in case she’s prone to spitting up, and you’re good to go. Having plenty of detergent on hand is a plus, or a million plain onesies to toss when they get too foul to wear any more.

    Everything else, you can wing – who says Baby can’t sleep in an old Kiss concert t-shirt??

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  37. On December 10th, 2008 at 12:48 am kalakly Says:

    Dude, get a maid and a baby nurse. You’re all set.:)

  38. On December 10th, 2008 at 6:22 am SCY Says:

    Lots and lots of cheese and wine for you… a massage voucher… a pedicure voucher… an appointment at the hairdresser…

    NO idea on the baby good – zero experience going for me on that one…


  39. On December 10th, 2008 at 7:12 am Badass Geek Says:

    Fun! Nothing like a family trip to see an alien baby. How I wish I could be there… but not in a creepy way.

  40. On December 10th, 2008 at 9:37 am Pookie Says:

    I will donate right now to the “soft-focus, heavily airbrushed, Kiss-mask maternity adoration picture” fund. Hilarious is an understatement.

    Also: “Now he is a much larger, hairy version of The Daver” makes it sound like he is larger and hairier *than* The Daver. Which is entirely believable.

  41. On December 10th, 2008 at 10:10 am Charlie Hills Says:

    Aw, looks like Pookie just left the exact comment I was about to write. The KISS mask adoration photo would be Christmas Card worthy.

  42. On December 10th, 2008 at 11:12 am Shanna Says:

    As others have said, car seat, which I have one if you want it, used 4 months and in no accidents, cloth diapers for burp cloths, disposable diapers, formula even if you nurse you may need it just in case, bottles, the swing and vibrating bassinette were our life savers after my parents left, otherwise my mother’s arms, I can loan her out if you want ;). I also have a Baby Bjorn, I could never figure out how to work it and by the time it did she was too big for it anyway, plus I was home for 3 months last winter so didn’t have to worry about hauling her around in the cold if I didn’t want to. I have a ton of receiving blankets if you want those as well. Help me clear out space for all the “big kid” stuff my 11 month old is accumulating, please? Seriously, email me, I am north of the border from you, willing to drive and deliver. 😉 Not a stalker, promise ask DD.

  43. On December 10th, 2008 at 12:10 pm heather Says:

    A live in nanny.

    My bro had one of those belly pics taken with their first kid, but not the second. That made me kinda sad because I was one of those kids who didn’t get nearly as many pictures taken of me or the effort made to do fun stuff because I was 3rd in line to the throne.

  44. On December 10th, 2008 at 2:47 pm Miss Grace Says:

    I had a belly cast:
    It’s horrendously giant, and it was made on my due date, and I wasn’t planning on doing it, but my preggo friend was, so I jumped on the naked belly-casting band-wagon.

    I painted it all swirly blues and greens with fish on it (Gabriel’s an Aquarius), and I actually really LIKED it. And when we moved, Gabe’s dad just…threw it out when he was packing the truck.

    And that still makes me awfully sad.

    Just had to jump in and defend belly casting, although it is hippy-dippy and weird.

  45. On December 10th, 2008 at 4:00 pm melanie Says:

    I didnt boob feed, so i found Dr. Brown bottles to be a SAVIOR (and they were recommended when we found out my baby had reflux)……

    It really seems like the things you need vary from child to child…my son was the worlds EASIST baby, seriously other new mom’s looked at me with hate in their eyes because I had it that easy. I felt like I REALLY knew what i was doing! Second baby came along this past May and knocked my confident ass right back into place, reflux, reflux, reflux (and all the screaming that goes with it), throw in a hemangioma (which she could care less but gave plenty of strangers the opportunity to say mean things or worse yet think I dropped my baby on her head—and yes they did ask how I managed to injure my infant!)………………. and I was a mess the first few months. Now that the reflux is improving, life is getting so much easier……. my whole point in this ridiculously long post, was that I had to buy so much more for this second one because of her needs, a wedge thing for her crib so she could sleep with her head elevated, a sling so I could confort her while still having some freedom to help my 3 yr old, a thousand more cloth diapers (for the baby puke), a bumbo seat (which i considered a ridiculous purchase before having a reflux baby that needs to be kept upright after every feeding)………etc etc…….. so get the very basic stuff, and then wait and see what Amelia needs. No sense in buying a bunch of crap you dont need.

  46. On December 10th, 2008 at 5:00 pm Brooke Says:

    I love 3-D ultrasounds. Just not for me. My son was born looking like a pissed off old Asian man, and we are not Asian. Everyone was going on and on and on about how cute he was, while I was telling them how funny he looked. The last month and a half of my pregnancy was bad enough. I can’t imagine the hell it would be if I knew in advance I was growing a mad Asian grandpa midget in my uterus.

    BUT…my sister had one with my new niece and it was AWESOME!

    Essentials for baby # 3…ear plugs, vodka and girlfriends!

  47. On December 10th, 2008 at 7:44 pm giggleblue Says:

    i know everyone is knocking the gadgets, but i figure with two other kiddos on hand, an “itsbeen” will be great.

    keeps track of how long ago the last feeding and change has been, as well as a sleep timer.

    great for passing the torch when the man gets home and you are on you way out the door to happy hour. that way, he’s not calling you asking stupid questions like, “when was the last time the baby ate???” and interrupting your drinks.

  48. On December 10th, 2008 at 11:03 pm Janet Says:

    Definitely cloth diapers! My little guy is 2 1/2 now and I still sometimes use them. For clean-up purposes only. I remember back in the day when my mom did daycare and had some babies that wore cloth diapers. Do you know what you have to do when you change a poopy cloth diaper!?! You have to take it to the toilet and dump it out and clean it. Okay … ewwwww! I think that’s why I’m having a hard time potty training monkey boy. So not looking forward to cleaning up “accidents”. Also make sure you have tons of onesies and socks. I was constantly buying socks cuz the sock Bermuda Triangle is real! And make sure you have lots of friends who can’t resist buying that cute little outfit cuz it’s so cute and Amelia will look so adorable in it. And definitely a baby monitor. I still use mine!

  49. On December 11th, 2008 at 12:13 am Alex Says:

    I have no advice, but — really? There exist pillows that say, “If You Weren’t My Mother, You’d Be My Friend”? Because, um, surely I’m not the only one who sees the possible, ah, double-entendre there?

  50. On December 11th, 2008 at 6:14 am Jessi Louise Says:

    Stock up on giant black underwear, humongous pads, and nipple cream. Those were the things I sent my husband out to buy while I was in the hospital. Ha ha! I never realized how funny that was until now.

    I’ve been getting caught up on your blog and I’m so excited to hear your having a girl. What will happen to The Sausage Factory now? I’ll be following closely!

  51. On December 15th, 2008 at 4:07 pm Sarah Says:

    As always, I am seriously lacking in the advice dept. I can’t remember what I loved having and thought was absurd 6-7 years ago… BUT.. I do, ahem, “feel your pain” regarding pushes – 3 with my first, 1 with my second, and my son definitely had/has an outsized noggin. Now I’ll just go hide my ginormous melon head (honestly – biggest cranium in my boot camp company, my CO-ED boot camp company) (they call it “familial macrocephaly) (BWaha) under a bush (tree?) since I’ve announced that online. 🙂

  52. On December 24th, 2008 at 11:59 am trish Says:

    I don’t know about the baby stuff, but I do have a theory:

    Cute kids become ugly adults. Ugly kids become good looking adults.

    Here’s why: if you’re born cute and beautiful, you have nowhere to go but down. If you’re born ugly, you have nowhere to go but up.

    With this theory, I plan to enter a beauty pageant at 92. Because I was fugly as a kid.

  53. On December 29th, 2010 at 1:47 pm Jennifer Simson Says:

    Totally akin to what my mom said about my baby’s 3D ultrasound. During my already trying times (solo pregnancy with 2 toddlers), she says to me “that’s not a very flattering picture”. Suck it, mom–she’s an adorable baby.

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