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10 Years


I have been a mother for ten years now.

Ten. Years.

That number – a third of my lifetime – seems to be so much larger, more significant than it was last year. Ten years is a long time.

I fell into motherhood the same way I’ve fallen into every other major thing in my life: accidentally. I’d never given much thought to motherhood, parenting or having crotch parasites of my very own. I don’t have younger siblings or younger cousins, and the kids I babysat weren’t ever babies. If you’d asked me back then if I’d wanted to have babies, I probably would have said a resounding, “Fuck.” and “No.”

To be unexpectedly a parent was the most shocking thing that’s happened to me. If I hadn’t gotten pregnant against the odds, I can’t say that I’m certain I’d have ever walked down that road. I can’t say that, of course, because I’ve never been an adult without having a bouncing baby (of my very own)(I am not a baby-napper) strapped into my car, tooling along with me. I cannot imagine my life without children.

I’ve said many times that without Ben, I would be nothing, and that’s the truth. Every decision I’ve made in the last ten years has been executed while thinking of the betterment of another. Would I be nothing without him? No. Of course not. But I certainly wouldn’t have gotten married, had two more crotch parasites or become Your Aunt Becky.

I do not know where I’d be without him.

It’s been an unglamorous life, that’s for sure, but one filled with laughter and heartache, joy and sorrow, and mostly, the unexpected.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.



Happy Mother’s Day to each of you – those of you struggling to become mothers, those missing their mothers, those whose treasures are in heaven, and those of you woken up each day to sticky fingers and poopy diapers.

Happy Mother’s Day, Pranksters.


We’re doing a carnival of Mother’s Day posts from many different perspectives on Band Back Together if you’d like to join us.

14 Comments to

“10 Years”

  1. On May 8th, 2011 at 11:47 am Julie Says:

    Thank you Aunt Becky! Lots of Glitters and a day of losing the pants to you! 🙂

  2. On May 8th, 2011 at 12:04 pm katrina Says:

    Happy Fuckin Mother’s Day Aunt Becky!!! Thank you for remembering those whose treasures are in heaven. May your day be filled with sticky fingers, laughter and love!

  3. On May 8th, 2011 at 12:31 pm Sunny Delaney Says:

    Happy Mother’s Day Aunt Becky!! ENJOY!

  4. On May 8th, 2011 at 1:31 pm The Mommy Says:

    Happy Mother’s Day!

    Quick (funny) story: Yesterday, my husband was putting booster seats/car seat back into our minivan (aka the Space Shuttle) and my Youngest Boy asked what he was doing. I said, “Putting the van back together.” He said, “Daddy’s getting the band back together?” LOL! And I totally thought of YOU!

  5. On May 8th, 2011 at 1:53 pm Heather Says:

    Happy Mother’s Day to you too!!

  6. On May 8th, 2011 at 2:13 pm A Not So Wicked Stepmother Says:

    Happy Mother’s Day!

    Like you, I fell into motherhood. At first it was the scariest thing ever- even the pregnancy was hell. Yet the second I woke up after delivering my 7wk preemie and recognized her cry, I knew then that I was a goner. Sure, I’ve had days that left me in a heap on the floor, but I’ve had more days where I felt like the luckiest woman alive.

    She’ll be fifteen in six weeks and she’s amazing. I may not have known what I was hoping to bypass, but now I can’t imagine life with her or her siblings.

    Thanks for the post and I hope you and yours had a very lovely day 🙂

  7. On May 8th, 2011 at 2:23 pm Penbleth Says:

    Happy Mother’s Day to you Becky. How lovely of you to remember those for whom this day is not so good or happy.


  8. On May 8th, 2011 at 4:44 pm Pete In Az Says:

    Happy Day, you Mother. 😀

  9. On May 8th, 2011 at 7:08 pm Josefina Says:

    Happy Mother’s Day, Becky. Thank God for the kids that pull us back to the here, and the now, and life.

  10. On May 8th, 2011 at 8:25 pm Rebecca Says:

    Happy Mothers Day Aunt Becky!

  11. On May 9th, 2011 at 4:18 am Alexis Says:

    Happy Mother’s day to Aunt Becky!

    Happy Mother’s Day also to my Mommy, my Aunt Jillian, my Aunt Voictoria, my Aunt Heather,my new Aunt Maria from this site, and to Ilianna, who doesn’t really want me to call her aunt but who did take excellent care of me for about seven months when my mom was too sick with cancer to do the job and my dad was too busy with work and with taking care of my mother. My other aunts whom I call aunts either had cancer themselves or were not yet married into the family. Happy Mother’s Day also to my dad, who had to play the parts of both mom and dad for awhile when my mom was sick,

    Unhappy Mother’s Day wishes go to my paternal grandmother on my father’s side, and to all her daughters and daughter-in-law (except for Aunt Heather, who is probably disclaimed every bit as strongly as I am. Lest I appear spiteful and practically begging for bad Karmma to rain torrentially upon me, the following two blogs may explain why I so intensely dislike the members of one side of my family to the extent that I would go out of my way to wish them Unhappy Mother’s Days.

    Happy Mother’s Day again from your loyal reader,

  12. On May 9th, 2011 at 9:52 am Ellen Says:

    You are a great mother, don’t ever let your kids forget it! Seriously though, you may have gotten pregnant accidentally but you chose to be a mother and that’s what counts.


  13. On May 9th, 2011 at 11:54 am Maureen Says:

    I too did not plan on having a baby…but I couldn’t imagine life without him 🙂 I think I did many times say fuck no…when asked about…but the universe had different plans for me 😉 I was looking for some new blogs and I came across yours…I am now following you.

  14. On May 10th, 2011 at 8:53 am Caroline Says:

    I found out that accidental motherhood was the best thing that ever happened to me.

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