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May Your Song Always Be Sung


It’s unsurprising that my middle son and I are exceptionally close. For a whole year, that child (then baby) refused to allow anyone but me to touch his Royal Majesty, and while most parents would’ve been screaming and pulling out their hair, I loved it. Certainly not every day, but most days, it was so unbelievable that a child could love me.

I had a first son, of course, but, thanks to autism, his love has always been something expressed more delicately than Alex, who simply loved me. It was pure, untainted, and one of the most religious experiences of my life. I finally understood what it felt like to be a parent. I’d clung to the notion that I was a parent, yet never felt like it, for so many years.

He’s closing on five now, one of the most intense people I’ve ever known, and still my best small friend. When he’s sick, he crawls into my lap, nestling in like a baby bird, and allows me to bask in memories of those baby days. When he’s well, he scampers around with his brother and sister, stopping briefly to hug me before spinning off to do something else.

For Christmas this year, he got a new butterfly costume. I’ve been anxiously awaiting the day he somehow broke the wings or tore the tutu, so for Christmas he got a second set. He fluttered around the house, stopping only to put on the boots he’d lovingly selected:

May your heart always be joyful, Alex, may your song always be sung.


32 Comments to

“May Your Song Always Be Sung”

  1. On December 30th, 2011 at 1:23 pm Mayor Gia Says:

    Awww, what a sweet post. Happy New Year, Aunt Becky!

  2. On December 30th, 2011 at 4:04 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Happy New Year, Love.

  3. On December 30th, 2011 at 1:29 pm Caroline Says:

    That is a precious child. You are blessed.

  4. On December 30th, 2011 at 4:04 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    So, so blessed.

  5. On December 30th, 2011 at 1:33 pm Krista Swan Says:

    My relationship with my son is similar- I cherish the sweet sweet affectionate snuggles and that amazing bond. He also has a deep affinity for pink boots and butterfly wings! 🙂
    I’m certainly close with my daughter as well, but she is much more bonded to my husband.
    Much love and Happy New Year!

  6. On December 30th, 2011 at 4:04 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Happy, Happy New Year.

  7. On December 30th, 2011 at 1:42 pm Anon Says:

    I’m so glad that you’re letting him be a kid and explore different aspects of his personality! Some parents might freak and say, “My son wearing pink fairy wings?? Oh, hell no!”. My parents insisted that my room be pink because I was a girl, although I liked blue. I still hate pink to this day! Playing baseball and playing with Matchbox cars didn’t make me a lesbian, even though they obviously feared they would. And my oldest son liked to wear girls’ jewelry when he was a kid. He’s now engaged to a wonderful young woman – although if he had been gay, we would have loved and accepted his partner. People get too hung up on stereotypes and gender-based expectations, if you ask me.

  8. On December 30th, 2011 at 4:05 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    People get so hung up on dumb things that don’t fucking matter. I can’t easily walk around with butterfly wings on. Why shouldn’t he be able to?

  9. On December 30th, 2011 at 1:52 pm Ms Dreamer Says:

    Rock on with your bad self, Alex (and Bex). Sing loud and off-key, or loud and perfect pitch. Whatever floats your boat. 🙂

  10. On December 30th, 2011 at 4:05 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    He’s so fucking tonedeaf. It kills me.

  11. On December 30th, 2011 at 1:53 pm Lori (aka Bubbe) Says:

    So sweet! Love this one AB. Have a most excellent New Year!

  12. On December 30th, 2011 at 4:05 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Happy New Year, my love!

  13. On December 30th, 2011 at 2:54 pm Melissa Says:

    He is such a love. And he totally looks badass in his butterfly wings.

  14. On December 30th, 2011 at 4:06 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    See? No one can rock the wings like Alex.

  15. On December 30th, 2011 at 4:54 pm Joules Says:

    He is so fucking rad.

  16. On December 30th, 2011 at 7:23 pm Chibi Jeebs Says:

    Just like his mama. <3

  17. On December 30th, 2011 at 5:33 pm Teala Says:

    It’s hard not to be awesome when you’re kids are so awesome! Alex is the awesomest damn butterfly I’ve every seen. <3 Love you, AB!

  18. On December 30th, 2011 at 5:37 pm Kristine Says:

    Love. This.

  19. On December 30th, 2011 at 8:41 pm katrina Says:

    Beautiful! just BEAUTIFUL!!! Wishing you and your amazing family all the best for 2012!

  20. On December 30th, 2011 at 9:36 pm Kristin Says:

    I love his style (and yours too). Happy New Year gorgeous!

  21. On December 30th, 2011 at 10:33 pm Daveed Says:

    Plus oned, liked, and tweeted. What a wonderful boy you have, I wish we all had wings.

  22. On December 31st, 2011 at 6:48 am Johi Says:

    He is as precious as your description of him. Love the boots! Happy New Year Becky!

  23. On December 31st, 2011 at 12:47 pm Grace Says:

    I used to work with a woman many years ago who had a son and a daughter. I will never forget what she told me about sons. She said “Daughters are great, but sons love their mommies.” She told me there was something extra special about the way boys hug their mothers and tell them “I love you Mommy.” I knew then that I wanted a son.

  24. On December 31st, 2011 at 3:42 pm Di Says:

    So… did he break or tear the first set? Does he now actually have TWO butterfly costumes? Because I think that might be the best thing ever.

  25. On December 31st, 2011 at 7:33 pm Christene Says:

    You are so lucky. And your son sounds amazing. My son does a lot of the same things, especially only wanting to be with mommy, which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside (because my daughter is a total daddy’s girl, and has been since before she was old enough to know who her daddy was).

  26. On January 1st, 2012 at 1:58 pm Miss Adventure Says:

    I covet his boots. He has such a wonderful, supportive mom.

  27. On January 1st, 2012 at 7:03 pm Becca Says:

    It is wonderful to have the child of your heart, the one that you just KNOW from the moment they are with you. I don’t mean a ‘favorite’, just different.

    Kudos to you for allowing him to express himself in his own way. There is an amazing amount of quiet strength and compassion in your parenting. Simply put, you are awesome!!

  28. On January 2nd, 2012 at 4:10 am Mary L Says:

    Rock those butterfly wings, dude! And I so covet the boots…..grown ups don’t get the good stuff any more.

    Thanks for being the kind of mom that lets her little people be the little people that they are! My little guy is all about purses and high heels right now (which he can walk in better than me!). I have to introduce him to butterfly wings! (and maybe that will give me an excuse to wear some as well?)

  29. On January 2nd, 2012 at 7:51 pm Llama Says:

    Completely awesome. Flap those wings proudly.

  30. On January 2nd, 2012 at 7:53 pm Llama Says:

    Completely awesome! Flap your wings proudly.

  31. On January 3rd, 2012 at 12:28 am GingerB Says:

    Goodness, he is pretty, isn’t he? What a gorgeous profile. That nose!! I love that you love everything about him. I too am in a stage of just enjoying my girls so much – the fear of the health issues has just faded somehow and now they are delightful (and wicked but they do that) and I am reveling in it. Glad you are too!!

  32. On January 6th, 2012 at 10:00 am Al_Pal Says:

    So, so beautiful. Sing the songs. ;D
    (Wearing wings and boots is really fun. I commend Alex on the choice!)

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