Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Internet Connections


I sat there, on my freshly cleaned couch (thank you o! gods of steam cleaners), in a group of my very best friends. We were eating the greasiest of greasy pizza, occasionally stopping to fetch a rogue binkie or wipe a dirty face. We laughed, talking about the times we’d shared, where our lives had randomly found us, pausing now and again to wipe tears from our eyes.

These people, my friends – my very best friends – they’d flown in from all over the country to celebrate my daughter’s birthday with me. They didn’t have to. I didn’t have to threaten them with a tube sock full of quarters. They did it because they wanted to be there with me, with us, together.

I’d never felt quite so at home in my living room.

It had been so long since I’d sat in my home, surrounded by people who know me as I am, fucked up bits and all, and laughed so hard that I was afraid I was going to whiz myself.

Seeing packages that my friends, my Pranksters, had sent for my daughter, knowing they’d cared enough to send her something for her third birthday, it reminded me of the connections. How lucky I’ve been to know so many wonderful people.

Because I am.

Lucky, that is.

Back when using the Internet cost approximately nine bucks a minute and I used it to fuck with people in chat rooms (oh, like you didn’t), I’d never really understood that there were people behind those words. Even as a blogger, back in 2003, the very notion that the words I hastily strung together would be read by another person was mind-boggling. I assumed my site was read by porn bots trying to increase my penis size, not living, breathing people (I assume that the un-dead don’t have internet access, but I could be mistaken).

I have never been so happy to be wrong. No, not about the un-dead.

When I get asked about making money blogging, after I stop laughing, I’m always a little bit…stung. Not because I don’t understand the desire to make a little cash on the side, but because to me, it’s not what it’s about.

I’ll take the friends I’ve made, the connections I’ve formed over a stack of cash any day.

A pony on roller skates, tho…well, maybe not so much.

band back together

A present from my very best friends who work with me on Band Back Together.

(if you’re a member of the Band and would like to vote for Band Back Together at the Weblog Awards, you may do so here. MWV is nominated too, which OMG, but The Band deserves the award for all of the bravery they’ve poured into our site.)

27 Comments to

“Internet Connections”

  1. On February 3rd, 2012 at 11:44 am Mayor Gia Says:

    Awww, that’s sweet! Blogging is rewarding when it’s done by people as awesome as you 🙂

  2. On February 3rd, 2012 at 12:50 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You made me blush. AWWW!

  3. On February 3rd, 2012 at 11:53 am Chibi Jeebs Says:

    Oh, how I wish I could have attended Princess Mimi’s birthday party! SO glad it was a success. 🙂 *cough*toldyaso*cough* <3

  4. On February 3rd, 2012 at 12:51 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:


  5. On February 5th, 2012 at 1:02 am guinspeg Says:

    AB!!! Did you just notice that you said ‘NEXT YEAR’?! OMGWTFBBQ Sista! I am so proud of you for getting thru this one, and to think you are ready to take on the next? HATS OFF TO YOU. You’ve shown me that (terrifying) baby steps beget bravery. I needs me some bravery. Inspiring, so inspiring 🙂


  6. On February 3rd, 2012 at 11:59 am Jocelyn | ScooterMarie Says:

    Most excellent! Nothing beats good times with great friends. And I was also so happy to read how well the birthday party went. Nice work!!

  7. On February 3rd, 2012 at 12:56 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Thanks, love. It was hugely awesome. I hope you can come by next year.

  8. On February 3rd, 2012 at 12:07 pm MKP Says:

    You rock, the Band rocks, it is not shocking that you all rock together in a magnificent rocktacular gathering. Wish I could have been there too 🙂

  9. On February 3rd, 2012 at 1:01 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:


    I loves you.

  10. On February 3rd, 2012 at 12:11 pm JustMe Says:

    It’s weird how you can “meet” people online and seriously grow to love them.

    Also – I want pizza super bad right now.

  11. On February 3rd, 2012 at 12:41 pm Melissa Says:

    I love that it made you so happy! And Amelia too.

    And I never EVER trolled a message board or chat room using multiple id’s, sometimes fighting with myself just to throw people off. I have never had a group of friends “swarm” a message board to mess with other people. Hah, as if. Those were fun times.

  12. On February 3rd, 2012 at 12:48 pm LDiggitty Says:

    So glad you had a good time!!!! Now you’ll be throwing a party every year, right?

    P/S Thanks for everything you do, lady. You’re a force to be reckoned with, and I’m excited to see what you pull of in the next decade or so 🙂

  13. On February 3rd, 2012 at 12:49 pm Grace Says:

    Love you!

  14. On February 3rd, 2012 at 1:03 pm Just Me Says:

    I met my own very best friends in those chatrooms you are disparaging. And they are hugely awesome, but none have flown to my kids birthday parties. So clearly yours are even more awesome.

    I’m a bit envious of you now, dammit.

  15. On February 3rd, 2012 at 1:49 pm Teala Says:

    YOU JUST MADE ME CRY! Damn you, Aunt Becky! I love you long time! <3

  16. On February 3rd, 2012 at 3:36 pm Erin K Says:

    I hope you realize that just because I couldn’t make the drive down to Princess Mimi’s party doesn’t mean I won’t just show up on your doorstep one of these days and demand an Uncrustables. Because I will.

  17. On February 3rd, 2012 at 5:39 pm thepsychobabble Says:

    Ditto that. Roadtrip anyone? :p

  18. On February 3rd, 2012 at 10:18 pm Lynda M O Says:

    Let’s go…

  19. On February 3rd, 2012 at 4:18 pm Brett Minor Says:

    That is so cool. I have just started to build my blogging community and love the connections I have made.

  20. On February 3rd, 2012 at 5:27 pm seeking elevation Says:

    Nicely done on all of the Bloggie nominations! The Band has my vote. Obvs.

  21. On February 3rd, 2012 at 11:16 pm Opto-Mom Says:

    Happy birthday to the Princess!

    I’m glad you didn’t whiz yourself…you just cleaned your couch!

    Ok, I’m gonna shut my whore mouth now.

  22. On February 4th, 2012 at 2:32 am Devan Says:

    Awe, Happiness looks pretty on you!
    LY AB!

  23. On February 4th, 2012 at 11:01 pm Dresden Says:

    Wait. What???!! THREE?????
    Damn time is fast. So glad you were surrounded by dear friends to celebrate.

  24. On February 5th, 2012 at 6:41 am nellie vaughn Says:

    This post makes me want to call up my friends and tell them how much I love them, but it’s 4am, and they will kill me. I have formed so many great friendships thanks to the internet. I forget to be grateful sometimes.

  25. On February 6th, 2012 at 3:22 pm Mrs. One Day Says:

    We all love you so much. It isn’t because you’re an award winning blogger. It isn’t because your name is in national publications. It’s because you’re a wonderful person and a loving friend. I’m so honored to be in The Band and even more than that…I’m honored to call you a friend. I can’t thank you enough in this lifetime for what you and The Band have given me by allowing me to be myself and tell my stories. It’s a weight off of my shoulders to do so and I know that you will be holding my hand when it’s too much to bear. I love you oodles, girl.

  26. On February 7th, 2012 at 12:21 pm CycleNinja Says:

    I’m on record–Ya mo be there next year.

  27. On February 12th, 2012 at 7:53 pm Mental Manic aka Pam Says:

    Already done voted for ya!!!!

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