Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Emotional Rescue, or Why I Am Humping My Vicodin Bottle

December28

My attempts to break into the artistic field included a rather pathetically rendered Easter Egg coloring contest that I was told that “I won” only to then be told when I went to claim my prize “WHOOPS, PSYCH! You didn’t!” and something I liked to call “donuts floating in pee” during my high school years (it was a still life). I may have many talents, like be able to properly blow spit bubbles, but being artistic is not one of them.

So, when I couldn’t find the proper phoenix tattoo years ago, I gave up and waited until I could. I certainly wasn’t going to draw it and because I really didn’t know what I wanted, I didn’t know anyone else who could do what I wanted, either. Last I checked, artists weren’t really mind readers.

Imagine my shock when I lazily googled “phoenix” last week, and this popped up (I can’t manage to resize it, sorry):

abstract-phoenix

What makes it weird is that my old design, Notepad Chaos, was based on this design, from Web Designer Wall, which was created by Nick La, who made this design. It seems an odd bit of synchronicity to me. The Internet is a big place and to randomly come across this is just…

Anyway.

My friend, WhyIsDaddyCryin on Twitter recommended a local tattoo artist in Chicago who normally books out 3 months in advance who just happened to have an appointment on Sunday available. Trust me, I was more excited about this than I was about Christmas. Probably because it didn’t involve tearing apart more fucking twist ties and I could sit still without having to get anyone anything for more than 5 minutes at a time.

This is Step 1.

Phoenix Tattoo 1

No, I am not that yellow.

Phoenix Tattoo 2

See, I’m much more pasty than yellow.

Phoenix Tattoo 3

My phoenix. I couldn’t be any happier if it were all done and I wasn’t in pain.

It took an hour and a half of sitting in really odd positions to get this done and it goes most of the way down my back which is MUCH BIGGER than I’d figured that I’d get. But it looks fabulous. Only now I’m all, it needs to have something on the OTHER SIDE to balance it out. What, I don’t know, but something.

And honestly, after the foot tattoo, the pain of this was nothing. Some areas were sensitivER than others but I never wept and I never had to have her stop because I couldn’t tolerate it for another second. Weeping in front of tattoo people is pretty embarrassing even if the tears are just kind of leaking out because, you know, how hardcore can you look when you’re CRYING?

I’m going back in 4 weeks on January 26 (because I know you’ll all want to stalk my ass) to get the color done–all vibrant colors, are you surprised?–and I’m pumped. The tattoo is AMAZING and better than I could have imagined.

I’m in some pain today, especially since it’s January and I can barely wear clothes, but that’s okay. I’ll lovingly caress my Vicodin bottle with my tongue as I tell you my OTHER secret. I got a job blogging for yet ANOTHER site.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to try and find some position to sit in that doesn’t cause me excruciating pain and make out with my Tylenol bottle.

204 Comments to

“Emotional Rescue, or Why I Am Humping My Vicodin Bottle”

  1. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:04 am Maria Says:

    Oh I love it I love it I love it!! And it’s HUGE! In a completely awesome way. Seriously, it’s gorgeous. I love it.

  2. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:54 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Why THANK you, lover. You will have to love on it when we HANG OUT sometime. Maybe….BlogHer? Because we are SO going to hang.

  3. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:05 am Dana Says:

    Ahhhh … it’s BEAUTIFUL! I’m so glad you decided to go bigger to keep the detail and that you didn’t decide to be a tough bitch (not that you aren’t … just sayin’) and get it all done in one sitting.

  4. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:54 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    She didn’t want me to do it in one sitting for some reason which was fine with me. And I loooove it. Good call! I was actually thinking of YOU when I was getting it done because I knew you’d approve of the size.

  5. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:05 am Kelly Says:

    It’s going to be beautiful! The pain should be worth it in the long run, not that I would know…I’m a chicken and to indecisive to get a tattoo, at least for now.

  6. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:53 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    The pain scared me too (you should have SEEN me all morning) but once it started, it wasn’t so bad. I wouldn’t lie to you.

  7. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:07 am V Says:

    AB,

    I LOVE it. I am designing my phoenix tattoo RIGHT NOW. Between you and my other blogger friend having them, it sold me on the idea. I’m going to have it as a connection to the blog-o-sphere, as well as a testament to Harry Potter (we knew it was coming some time). Love love love it! Thanks for the inspiration.

    V

  8. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:52 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You require it and then I must see the design. I’m DYING over here!

  9. On December 29th, 2009 at 12:52 am V Says:

    linky link link:

    http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y242/castpier/phoenix.jpg

    thoughts?

  10. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:10 am KeepingYouAwake Says:

    That’s some badass ink, Becky. Now, you need a Harley and spiked hair. No reason. You just need those things, I can feel it.

    I can’t wait to see the final project in all its glory. I also can’t wait to get myself some more ink. In the meantime, I’ll watch Sodahead for your updates!

    Congrats!!!

  11. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:43 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Ha. Enjoy Sodahead and I’ll probably stay off the Harley unless someone else drives me. I’m REALLY uncoordinated.

  12. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:15 am Jessica Says:

    “Most beings spring from other individuals; but there is a certain kind which reproduces itself. The Assyrians call it the Phoenix. It does not live on fruit or flowers, but on frankincense and odoriferous gums.” -Bulfinch’s Mythology

    Writing is your art, and the tattoo looks great.

  13. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:43 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    What a cool quote. Thank you so much for your comment. I don’t think anyone has ever called my writing art before.

  14. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:16 am birdpress Says:

    Gorgeous! I can’t wait to see it all done. Did they flip the image or did you take a picture in the mirror?

  15. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:41 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    She flipped the image for me, which is good because you can actually tell it’s a bird and not just a swirly design.

  16. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:22 am drlori71 Says:

    That’s going to be one beautiful tattoo. Keep popping those Vicodin – I hope you’re pain goes away soon!

  17. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:39 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I’d personally like to shake the hand of whomever discovered painkillers because without them, I’d be weeping right now. But thank you! I’m really thrilled.

  18. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:25 am Brooke Says:

    That looks amazing! Can’t wait to see it in a month.

  19. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:38 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Me freaking EITHER. Going to be right in time for Mimi’s first birthday.

  20. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:30 am MK Says:

    That – is a kick ass tat! I’m stoked FOR you.

    And congrats on the new job. You’re a busy girl!

  21. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:37 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Plenty of sleep…sometime, right?

  22. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:30 am LaurenLeto Says:

    THAT IS THE COOLEST TATTOO EVER

  23. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:37 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Bwahahaha! Thanks.

  24. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:31 am Christina (Apron Strings) Says:

    Oh my lord woman! You are seriously a bad ass. Holy cow. Note to self-you are a weeny-this woman is a bad ass who will kick your ass-don’t piss her off!

  25. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:37 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    HA. I wouldn’t kick your ass. I’d kick ass on your BEHALF, though, so remember it.

  26. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:35 am injaynesworld Says:

    That’s pretty freakin’ awesome. Hannah who was on LA Ink is in Chicago somewhere, too. I always wanted a tattoo by her. This person did a damn fine job on yours.

  27. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:36 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I had no idea that Hannah was in Chicago! That’s WILD! Dawn is amazing and I’m privileged to have been tattooed by her.

  28. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:38 am Tracy Says:

    That tattoo is f*cking AWESOME Becky! YAY for whoever recommended the tattoo artist…he did a fabulous job!

    SO JEALOUS!!!!

  29. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:35 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    She’s freaking incredible, isn’t she? Love, love, looove her.

  30. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:39 am Sara @ Life With the Two Says:

    That looks fantastic! Can’t wait to see it colored in. I have always compared the pain of getting a tattoo to being sawed at with a plastic knife. It’s painful and annoying, and yet, hurts more so afterward than during.

    Feel better, and remember it’s worth it in the end!

  31. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:35 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That’s a great way of putting it. My feet were really swollen and bruised for a week or so afterward and I couldn’t get shoes on them, but this isn’t bad. Sore. But not terrible.

  32. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:46 am MamaOtwins+1 Says:

    That looks fabulous! So glad you were able to get in and the design is perfect!

  33. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:50 am kbrients Says:

    AWESOME. Looks just beautiful. Cannot wait to see it in color!

  34. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:50 am Cute~Ella Says:

    That’s beautiful!

  35. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:51 am Andy Says:

    Dude That rocks!!!! I’m so jealous!

  36. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:51 am Lisa May Says:

    Gorgeous!
    Could you share the name of the tattoo artist? My husband has been making noise about getting some ink for a while now, and I’d like to help him out. Because, you know, HOT.

    Also: congratulations on the new gig. So glad the freelancing is building up steam.

  37. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:26 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Her name is Dawn Grace, and she works out of the Tattoo Factory in Chicago. She has a website: http://www.dawngrace.com/

  38. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:51 am Tom Lothian Says:

    Might I suggest something like what John C Dvorak does.

    http://channeldvorak.com/shows

  39. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:24 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That’s an excellent idea. Thank you.

  40. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:54 am stacey@Havoc&Mayhem Says:

    That is looking awesome! It’s going to kick ass when colored in.

  41. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:23 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It’s going to rule. I’m THRILLED.

  42. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:56 am BigSis Says:

    I concur with the above – it is amazing and you are a very brave woman!

  43. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:22 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Why thank you! Brave or stupid, I don’t know, but I love it.

  44. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:56 am Ms.V Says:

    WOW. Beautiful!!!!!

  45. On December 28th, 2009 at 11:09 am Cyndi Says:

    Ooooooh…. pretty! I’m glad you went big!

    To quote an old tattoo artist: “go big, go bold, go colorful!”

  46. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:18 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That’s an excellent quote. I was highly concerned about being so large, but you know what? WHY NOT? It’s only skin.

  47. On December 29th, 2009 at 7:44 am Cyndi Says:

    Ya know, by the time it gets faded and/or saggy, people are going to expect you to wear clothes anyways. When was the last time you saw an AARP member in a halter top and thought “wow, that’s a great fashion decision”?

  48. On December 28th, 2009 at 11:15 am Shell Says:

    That is going to look fantastic.

    But,serioiusly, do you have to keep scaring me away from the foot tattoo?

  49. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:16 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Bwahahaha! Don’t be scared of the foot tattoo! They look WICKED awesome when they’re done.

  50. On December 28th, 2009 at 11:30 am The Only Girl Says:

    You’re SO bad ass! I can’t wait to see it with the colours – it’ll be gorgeous.

    And hey, NDesign-Studio.com did the theme on my blog. I thought that artwork looked familiar!

    Congrats on the SodaHead work. I’ll have to check it out.

  51. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:16 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That’s awesome. I wonder if I can get them to do a design for my blog!

  52. On December 28th, 2009 at 11:35 am linlah Says:

    Snchronicity turns out to be a beautiful tattoo.

  53. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:15 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    My feelings exactly.

  54. On December 28th, 2009 at 11:37 am joann Mannix Says:

    For such a strong symbol, it’s so pretty and girly and strong at the same time. Don’t forget the photos when it gets colored in. Beautiful.

  55. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:15 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Why THANK you. I wish it could have been all in one shot. But, you know. Or maybe you don’t because I have no idea why not.

  56. On December 28th, 2009 at 11:49 am Caroline Says:

    That’s going to be so kick ass!

  57. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:14 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I’m SO excited. Thank you.

  58. On December 28th, 2009 at 11:55 am Elly Lou Says:

    Congrats on all fronts…especially overcoming jaundice!

  59. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:14 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It was a pretty quick transformation, eh?

  60. On December 28th, 2009 at 12:04 pm SuperDixieKitten Says:

    I’m SO glad you gave that bird a head!!

  61. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:14 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I just removed the, uh, STUFF coming out of it’s mouth.

  62. On December 28th, 2009 at 12:22 pm boobarella Says:

    Gorgeous! Can’t wait to see it done!!!

    And Tylenol goes down much faster with a G&T.

  63. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:13 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Good call. A G & T sounds great right about now (as I listen to my poor daughter scream in her crib)(I don’t know why she’s screaming except that she’s overtired and won’t go to sleep with us in the room)(shoot me now).

  64. On December 28th, 2009 at 12:26 pm Elizabeth Says:

    The artist did a fanstastic job of transferring the pic to a tatoo. Can’t wait to see it colored. It looks great.

  65. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:12 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    She is AMAZING, isn’t she?

  66. On December 28th, 2009 at 12:33 pm Heather P. Says:

    That is going to be gorgeous when the color hits it!
    I am sorry to be so stupid, but I have stared at that design since you posted it the other day and for the life of me I can not figure out where the head is? Does it have one? Again, sorry to be so dumb, because it really is a beautiful design. I know I am too big of a chicken to get a tatto-needles freak me out!

  67. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:12 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Bwahahaha! You’re SO not the only one. The head is pointed towards my neck. Do you see it now?

  68. On December 28th, 2009 at 12:34 pm Amy Says:

    OMG- Just found your blog… you’re hilarious. I’m gonna stalk…er ‘follow’ your ass now! LOL
    ~Amy

  69. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:11 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Don’t you worry. I’ll be stalking you back.

  70. On December 28th, 2009 at 12:34 pm foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) Says:

    It’s beautiful already, so I really can’t wait to see what it’s going to emerge as with all the vibrant colors…and color me what you will, because I am without ink, but I think trying to balance out that beauty with something on the other shoulder may take away from what you’ve got there. This though? This I LOVE!

  71. On December 28th, 2009 at 9:58 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Why thank you, darling. And point duly noted because I’m genuinely not sure what I’d do on the other side anyway. I’m not someone who rushes into shit like this, so I have YEARS to deliberate. By which time my kids may MURDER me before they allow me near a tattoo parlor.

  72. On December 28th, 2009 at 12:42 pm rockmama Says:

    Oh me oh my that is one GORGEOUS piece of ink. And it’s going to look positively lickable with color! It’s awesome when you find just EXACTLY the right design!

    I have 7 smallish tattoos and without a doubt, the two on each of my feet were the ones that made me wonder what the hell I was doing there in the first place, letting someone do this incredibly stupid thing to me. However, they were the easiest to care for, as the ones on my back always required someone else to spread the healing goo and wrap it up in cling film. 😛

  73. On December 28th, 2009 at 9:56 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    How did you manage to SLEEP with your back tattoos? I’m finding it difficult to even wear clothes (and I’m pretty sure I’m ruining the sweatshirt I’m loosely wearing).

  74. On December 29th, 2009 at 12:40 pm rockmama Says:

    The ones on the bottom of the back weren’t so bad, but the one in the middle at and the top tended to make sleeping a little problematic. However, neither of them is nearly as big as your lovely piece, and merely resulted in a bit of greasy goo on the sheets.

    You know on the popular tattoo “reality” shows how no one ever seems to bleed from getting tats? What’s up with that?

  75. On December 28th, 2009 at 12:56 pm Heather (qtberryhead) Says:

    I think it’s even more beautiful than the picture. Which is hello? awesome.
    Can’t wait to see the colors added!
    Congrats on the new/additional writing gig…now I can pretend hump you all over the net!
    Sweet!

  76. On December 28th, 2009 at 9:55 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You’d better for reals hump me someday when we hang out and fist bump and slow dance to Poison’s “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn.”

  77. On December 28th, 2009 at 12:58 pm Melanie (The Blogging Mum) Says:

    It looks fantastic!! woohoo! I can’t wait to see the colors!

  78. On December 28th, 2009 at 9:47 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Thank you! Me either. It’s going to be full of life.

  79. On December 28th, 2009 at 1:01 pm Ms. Moon Says:

    The gorgiosity is not to be believed. Awesome and worth the pain.

  80. On December 28th, 2009 at 9:47 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Worth every grimace and then some. Thank you. I thought you’d like it.

  81. On December 28th, 2009 at 1:17 pm Susan (woo222) Says:

    It is gorgeous!! A phoenix is a fabulous idea, I can’t wait to see it with all the color! And you aren’t pasty..you wanna see pasty, you oughta see me. Ass-white. Seriously. Anyhoo, I love it! ~Susan

  82. On December 28th, 2009 at 9:45 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Dave is practically translucent, he’s so pale. And thank you. I adore it.

  83. On December 28th, 2009 at 1:25 pm Kristi Stevens Says:

    Holy shit, girl… is there nothing too cool for you? Okay, stupid question… of course not, you’re Aunt Becky for crying out loud. I’m so, so, so… conventional and you’re so – FREAKIN’ AWESOME. Thanks for letting me live vicariously through you… ’cause there is no freaking way I’ll ever get a tat… I’m waaaay too much of a pussy (and I’ve told my kids hell to the no on tats so that would be kind of like all “do as I say, not as I do”). Cannot wait to see the finished product.

    K

  84. On December 28th, 2009 at 9:41 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I’m pretty sure my kids will rebel by becoming perfect angels.

  85. On December 28th, 2009 at 1:28 pm Mama Cas Says:

    Holy shit….it’s huge! You are one brave girlie! I wimper like a crybaby when I get my teeth cleaned, nevermind getting a tattoo to cover half of my back.

  86. On December 28th, 2009 at 9:15 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Teeth cleanings are more annoying, I think. ESPECIALLY if your dentist is all “so, how ARE you? Really, tell me, how are things?” And you’re going through a wicked bad time with PTSD and really not doing so well so you want to cry and then you DO cry but then his hands are in your mouth? That’s pretty annoying.

  87. On December 28th, 2009 at 1:38 pm Miss Spoken Says:

    Jealous. I want to lick Vicodin bottles, too.

  88. On December 28th, 2009 at 9:13 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Don’t you just?

  89. On December 28th, 2009 at 1:42 pm Jayme Says:

    That came out fucking amazing. (It’s a tattoo, you have to swear)

  90. On December 28th, 2009 at 9:07 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Fuck yeah you do. It’s also my blog, which means you have to swear ALL THE TIME. Fuck, man.

  91. On December 28th, 2009 at 1:42 pm charity Says:

    Your tat is full of The Awesome 🙂

  92. On December 28th, 2009 at 9:07 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Why thank you! I think so too!

  93. On December 28th, 2009 at 1:44 pm L.L. Says:

    I’m proud of your tattoo AND majorly jealous about getting paid to blog!! I need that to happen to me! 🙂

  94. On December 28th, 2009 at 9:06 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You can dooooo it!

  95. On December 28th, 2009 at 1:44 pm Bluebird Says:

    A) It looks so painful!
    B) It’s huge!
    C) Totally love it. So glad you found the picture; it seems perfect.

  96. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:42 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It’s exactly what it needed to be. No more, no less.

  97. On December 28th, 2009 at 1:45 pm Heather Says:

    That is amazing. You make me want to step up my efforts to finally figure out what I want. I have absolutely NO tatoos and I want one SOO badly but I want to be sure what I want before I do it. Can’t wait to see it as you get it filled in. 🙂

  98. On December 28th, 2009 at 1:54 pm kalakly Says:

    Can’t wait to see the finished product! Do you think it is wrong to want to get another tatoo just so’s I can get me some vicolicious?

  99. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:33 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    There’s not a DAMN thing wrong with that.

  100. On December 28th, 2009 at 1:59 pm darkfairymomma Says:

    Gorgeous!! I can’t wait to see it once the color’s in 🙂

  101. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:58 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I am SO excited! Thanks, yo.

  102. On December 28th, 2009 at 2:00 pm Collette Says:

    Absolutely fabulous! Glad you toughed it out. Enjoy your vicodin. Can’t wait to see the finished product!

  103. On December 28th, 2009 at 2:04 pm Kristin Says:

    OMG, that tattoo totally and completely ROCKS! It makes me want one like that.

  104. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:58 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You SO need to get one.

  105. On December 28th, 2009 at 3:17 pm Ginger Magnolia Says:

    So pretty! Thank you for sharing. 🙂

  106. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:55 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    YAY! Thank you!

  107. On December 28th, 2009 at 3:24 pm Rebecca Says:

    Congratulations on the new blog….are you going to leave a small link on this blog for that blog every day you make a post for it……sort of how you do for the Toy With Me blog post?

    Can’t wait to read it~~~

    Oh and …thanks for visiting my blog!! Makes me feel all special and warm and fuzzy inside.

  108. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:54 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I think I’ll probably leave a wee link every day for those who WANT to read it. And of course I read your blog. I’m just a bit behind right now. BAD AUNT BECKY.

  109. On December 28th, 2009 at 3:28 pm Jennifer B Says:

    Wow Becks. That is unbelievable. You waste no time, that’s for sure. I am impressed. I don’t have tons of love for tattoos, nor do I dislike them. But that one makes me want to make out with it, you, and the tattoo artist. Damn.

  110. On December 28th, 2009 at 3:29 pm Kerrie Says:

    Dude….awesome. But OUCH!

  111. On December 28th, 2009 at 3:56 pm Crystal Says:

    I love this! I’ve been wanting a phoenix for a few years now, but have had trouble finding a design I like. Most of what comes up online are much more masculine than I want, all fire and claws and BEAKS OF DOOM! This is a really pretty interpretation, though! Can’t wait to see it in color!

  112. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:32 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Exactly!! Every design I could find was all Gothic or like mythical looking (which, duh, I know, I KNOW) and too, uh, sci-fi for me? This, though, it popped up and I was just slack-jawed and drooling. It’s The One.

  113. On December 28th, 2009 at 3:56 pm Jamie Says:

    Dude. Fuck those twist ties.

  114. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:31 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I want to cut the assbag who invented them. Seriously. No small parts on toys anymore, but those fucking ties? I don’t get it.

  115. On December 28th, 2009 at 4:02 pm Badass Geek Says:

    That is BITCHIN’.

  116. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:30 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    *blushes* Thank you.

  117. On December 28th, 2009 at 4:21 pm Melissa Says:

    I love the tattoo! Cant wait to see it in color.

    Also, dude, getting paid to blog? Awesome. When you set out to do something you dont waste any time.

  118. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:30 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I never waste time fucking around. Dave read this comment and laughed because he’s all “Dude, she has you PEGGED.” No, I am an alcoholic at heart (no, I’m not an alcoholic) who has healthy addictions. To, apparently, writing.

  119. On December 28th, 2009 at 4:27 pm gypsygrrl Says:

    oooh you just triggered my own tattoo itch!!! this is gorgeous and i cant wait to see the colour in it!!!

    xo,
    gypsygrrl

  120. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:29 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I am so pumped about getting the color filled in. Or, I would be if it didn’t already hurt like fuck. But, you know, pain is good.

  121. On December 28th, 2009 at 4:34 pm Swistle Says:

    Omg, I love it so much. SO MUCH. I’m DYING to see it in color.

  122. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:27 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Me freaking TOO. It’s going to be awesome. Now I need something on the other side…But….what?

  123. On December 28th, 2009 at 4:47 pm Chris in Phx Says:

    Aunt Becky I am so full of the jealous! That looks amazing!
    Maybe some flowers or something on the other side, they could be in your bebe’s birthstone colors…

  124. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:27 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Maybe a cherry blossom. I love those.

  125. On December 28th, 2009 at 5:50 pm Carlynn Says:

    Wow, that phoenix is amazing, I want one too. Very jealous of your tattoo, and I haven’t wanted a tattoo since I was 20 but this one blows my mind. Can’t wait to see the colours, that picture is absolutely gorgeous.

    And well done on the SodaHead gig, what can’t you do? Go Aunty Becky, go!!

  126. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:27 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I am pretty sure I cannot dance. No, wait, I KNOW I can’t dance. And you should get a tattoo, because why not?

  127. On December 28th, 2009 at 5:54 pm LeahKitten Says:

    (A) You’re so damn sexy. (B) I’m jealous. When I get the peacock feathers I’m totally sending you pictures.

  128. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:26 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You’d better send me NAKED pictures. Heh.

  129. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:32 pm LeahKitten Says:

    Letch. Tomorrow I’m blogging about girl crushes. You’d better send ME naked pictures.

  130. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:42 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    *waggles lecherously*

    Check your email, baby.

  131. On December 28th, 2009 at 6:07 pm existentialwaitress Says:

    Awesome tattoo! I so want to get one, but haven’t decided for sure what I want and am admittedly kind of scared. I DID get through childbirth twice though, so maybe I can hang?

  132. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:17 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Oh dude, you can SO hang. It’s really not so bad. I mean, I did it. You can SO do it.

  133. On December 28th, 2009 at 6:13 pm Mrs Soup Says:

    That is so very very awesome! I adore it.

  134. On December 28th, 2009 at 6:17 pm Maniacal Mom Says:

    It looks totally awesome! I wish I had the cahones to get another tattoo…but the tiny one I got hurt so much…I am not down for that again!

  135. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:15 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I think it all depends on where you get it. The area goes numb after awhile.

  136. On December 28th, 2009 at 6:20 pm Quiet Dreams Says:

    It looks amazing, gorgeous (other positive descriptors ad infinitum).

    Congratulations on not crying.

  137. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:13 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It just didn’t hurt that badly. The tears only pour out when it really hurts, you know?

  138. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:46 pm Melissa Says:

    As I recall, its the black outline that hurts the worst. The coloring you should fly through.

    When I got my ass tat I was all of 26, with a rockin size 2 body, and a REALLY nice ass. I had booty even though I was small at the time. I think my mom screwed an albino black man to get me. Dude made sure I was down to sweatshirt and thong before he remembered that I had to sign the form. Which was on the other side of the room, and he didnt bring to me, I had to do the thong walk. It still makes me shudder. But then again, if I had that ass again, I would be doing that walk in my OFFICE! But the thong walk is totally embareassing. <<that was on purpose

  139. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:58 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Okay, I’m rolling. You’re cracking my ass up. Come hang out with me now.

  140. On December 28th, 2009 at 6:30 pm Toni Says:

    I spent most of today watching LA Ink…and now this…I’m drooling to get something significant. Where did you go???

  141. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:12 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I went to The Tattoo Factory and saw Dawn. She’s FANTASTIC.

  142. On December 28th, 2009 at 6:47 pm Patti Says:

    That is just fan-fucking-tastic! I have been wanting another tat for a while now (just have one teeny one) and decided on a design, but haven’t really done anything about it. Well, you’ve motivated me, woman.

    Congrats on the freelance job. May it be the first of many in 2010!

  143. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:10 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You best be posting pictures when you get your tats!

  144. On December 28th, 2009 at 6:53 pm Amie Simmons Says:

    Love it! I think that is a perfect tattoo. Can’t wait to see it in color. You are a rock star 🙂

  145. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:08 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Can I tell you that I might have strutted around a bit after you said that? Because I totally did.

  146. On December 28th, 2009 at 6:59 pm Cynthia Says:

    Wow. I REALLY don’t like tatoos, but this is gorgeous! I love it.

    Cynthia

  147. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:11 pm RJ Flamingo Says:

    That is absofreakinlutely awesome, gurl! Can’t wait to see it in glorious living color – does this mean you can rent your back out to NBC, now? Oh, wait. That’s a peacock. Still, you ought to be able to get something for showing off that mother. :-))

    About the cookies – You can have moose. I refuse to decorate another fucking cow. Anyway, I thought you were already my BFF forever? Now I have to bribe you to stay? What’s up with that?!?

  148. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:46 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Thanks to my son, we missed Christmas cookies this year completely and I looooove sugar cookies. Those look delicious. And of COURSE we were BFF. DUH. I was just, you know, REMINDING you of my love of sugar cookies.

  149. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:21 pm Sabreena Says:

    I have never been big on large tattoos on my ladies but I have to say that is beautiful. I am so excited to see it with all of the color. Are you going for the colors in the original pic? I second Amie Simmons on the Rock Star comment. I could never take that pain and I had 2 C-sections!!

  150. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:45 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It REALLY wasn’t so bad. I’ve had 2 semi-natural births and it wasn’t so bad. This one I can cover up pretty easily by wearing any shirt which rules. I’m not a huge tattoo on ladies person either. In fact, I’m not much of a BACK tattoo person. But this, this I love. Which is good, right? HA.

  151. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:24 pm Foxy Says:

    That looks awesome! I have a tattoo as well (as a “non-conformist” Mormon) but I was too much of a pussy to get anything bigger than the size of a silver dollar. Dammit.

  152. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:43 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    My other ones are so well hidden that I am always forgetting that I have them. This one is all HELLO WORLD and I love it. Nothing wrong with small tattoos. Nothing.

  153. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:25 pm Erin Says:

    That is stunning!! I can’t wait to see it in color.

  154. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:44 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Why thank you!

  155. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:32 pm Jamie Says:

    what comment addon are you using? I LOVE it!

  156. On December 28th, 2009 at 7:38 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It’s called “WordPress Thread Comments” and it RULES.

  157. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:00 pm Theta Mom Says:

    I think I totally need to add this WP Thread Comment Business to my blog. Ok, so were friends on FB and I totally fanned you because obviously, YOU ROCK. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to find you!

    As for the tattoo, better you then me. I can’t stand needles, but it looks awesome!

  158. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:49 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    YAY for new friends! HOORAY! I’m going to go hump on your blog. Because we’re new BFF. Sorry. You can’t shake me now. I’m like a fungus.

  159. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:06 pm Aurora Says:

    BEAUTIFUL!!!! I can no wait to see it with color! I only have a tramp stamp but next summer I will have a few more!!!

  160. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:49 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Ooooh! What are you getting? TELL ME MORE.

  161. On December 28th, 2009 at 9:02 pm Aurora Says:


    Flora Fauna and Merryweather are Sleeping Beauty’s 3 fairies and since my name is Aurora I have decided to get all three on my upper right shoulder! They will represent My Mom, My BFF and My Husband as the three people who look out for me! My cousin is a Tattoo artist and is designing me the tattoo. He gets his license in March and I am goign to be his first professional Tattoo!!!! My Mom will be his second! She is getting the rest of her back done as she has half of her spine bones outlined so far. I only have one so far on my lower back. Kanji for Self Respect. Mom has 7 not counting the back piece.

  162. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:16 pm elle michelle Says:

    Oh, that looks AWESOME!

  163. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:48 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    My tattoo artist was amazing and I’m just…wow. I wish I could stare at it in the mirror but I’m afraid I’d cry at my back fat. Because EW.

  164. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:19 pm Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo Says:

    bitch, you be totally fucking hardcore.

    Hard. Core.

    I have a zit on my face that is enough to make me wanna cut a bitch with the PAIN.

    I bow to your hardcorery. It is so a word.

  165. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:48 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Dude. It IS a word and you made it a word because you are fucking full of hardcorery. OBVIOUSLY.

  166. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:21 pm Kerri Anne Says:

    That’s gorgeous.

  167. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:46 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Why THANK you.

  168. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:29 pm Laure Says:

    Good Christ are you brave – that thing is huge!! I had to laugh at the symmetrical thing because I would totally be like that.

    What a cool way to start the year!

  169. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:44 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Bwahahaha! I’m so glad I’m not alone in that. Ha. Symmetry. There’s a reason both of my feet are tattooed and not just because I am a freak-a-leak who apparently thrives on pain.

  170. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:34 pm a Says:

    Ouchie. You’ve got some stamina! I’m glad you like it – wouldn’t it be awful if you went through all that and it didn’t come out right? I’m sure the finished project will be pretty cool…and I don’t even like tattoos.

  171. On December 28th, 2009 at 8:43 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    (I was TOTALLY afraid that was going to happen. But I’m ALWAYS afraid of that. Don’t tell anyone)

  172. On December 28th, 2009 at 9:14 pm Heather Says:

    AMAZING!! I can’t wait to see it with the color!

  173. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:57 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Me either. It’s going to be amazing.

  174. On December 28th, 2009 at 9:34 pm Denise Says:

    That is frickin’ awesome Becky!! I LOVE it!

  175. On December 28th, 2009 at 9:40 pm Heather Says:

    OMG!!! It is gorgeous! Enjoy! Can’t wait to see it with color.

  176. On December 28th, 2009 at 10:47 pm Naomi de la Torre Says:

    Okay, you had me at “humping my vicodin.” But, wow. You are truly hilarious. I just found you on some other blogger’s site. I am going to stalk you now. Forever.

  177. On December 28th, 2009 at 11:03 pm uthostage Says:

    Your tat is amazing! Can’t wait to see it when it’s all done! I bow down to your awesomeness too. I would like one but am deathly afraid of needles.

  178. On December 28th, 2009 at 11:22 pm steve Says:

    Kick Ass tattoo…when i got a tattoo on my forarm i too had to fight back A HOLY SHIT THIS HURTS…cause you cant blurt that out apparently….hope the vicodin helps..happy new year zman sends

  179. On December 28th, 2009 at 11:23 pm Nyx Says:

    Oh nice! Incidentally enough, you got it in the same place I have my phoenix tattoo 😛 Small world. Except mine’s on my other shoulder (yea, didn’t hurt at all. I got all the color and outline of mine done at the same time, so it was a solid three hours of sitting…shoulda brought a book. Mine’s not as intricate as yours is though). Dude, you so have to post pictures once you get it colored in – it’s going to look ahmazing!

    Are you going to stick with the original colors, or get it changed?

    And I’m going to haunt you. 🙂

  180. On December 28th, 2009 at 11:32 pm Em Says:

    Nice ink Aunt Becky!! I think I may have a tattoo problem myself. Is there a tattoo meeting I can attend? Hi I’m Em (don’t say that part outloud) and I am a tattoo-oholic. Hi Em!! Not nearly as impressive as yours but feel free to check out my new ink, photo just posted on my blog.

  181. On December 28th, 2009 at 11:37 pm Chibi Jeebs Says:

    LOVE. Love it so much, in fact, I’ll be making the appointment for #5 when I get my hair cut on Wednesday.

    The tattooist works out of the salon. My hair dresser doesn’t tattoo. That I know of. Yet.

    Can’t wait to see more pics!

  182. On December 28th, 2009 at 11:45 pm Mad Woman Says:

    Oh it’s just GORGEOUS!!! I love love love it!! I totally get what you mean about crying in front of tattoo people. Even when the pain was harsh on the bits of my back where they were jarring my spine, I didn’t cry. I bit my tongue and melted into my music. But I did. Not. Cry.

    Can’t wait to see the colour! And you’re damn right I’ll be stalking your ass til it’s done. And then I’ll stalk you some more because I can.

  183. On December 29th, 2009 at 9:04 am Amanda Says:

    That is incredible. In-fucking-credible.

  184. On December 29th, 2009 at 9:18 am Emily Says:

    Becky, it looks freaking AWESOME! I can’t remember if I mentioned this before, but my first tattoo was also a phoenix. Not nearly as cool as your phoenix, though. I can’t wait to see the finished product.

  185. On December 29th, 2009 at 9:56 am Liza Says:

    Aloha from Orchid land –
    Have I mentioned the purple orchid is blooming in the Western yard, under the tree fern? Sorry, you may have lots of snow… yet perhaps many blooms inside your house?

    Anyway, congrats on the new tat. Will you have Dawn put an eye of some kind on the head? Just a dot… it may need to see to protect your back, if you believe in such things. 🙂

    Congrats on the fruits of your writing focus. You are full of da awesome!

  186. On December 29th, 2009 at 10:00 am Coco Says:

    That tattoo makes me want to lick your shoulder EVEN MORE than I did before, lover.

    I’m totally jealous, too. I’ve just decided for my birthday I’m finally going to get that big tattoo on my OWN shoulder that I’ve been threatening my husband with for years. Go me!

    P.S. Whn I do, we can lick EACH OTHER’S shoulders. Because what’s more fun than that? Answer = ALMOST NOTHING.

  187. On December 29th, 2009 at 11:00 am Kendra Says:

    That is just amazing. And the thing is, when someone mentioned a phoenix, I had a completely different image in my head. (Did you ever read “The Phoenix and the Carpet” as a kid? I loved it so much, and however she described it in that book, that’s the image that’s stuck with me forever.) My personal phoenix is this very fiery, yet dignified creature, sort of shooting flames while managing to look unperturbed by everything (the book was from 19th-century England, so…). But yours is just so… you. It makes it really amazing that you could take this idea which might be meaningful to a lot of people and totally make it you. It totally makes me want to add onto my sunflower. I’ve said for years I was going to get my kids’ names around it, and now you make me want to pursue that!

  188. On December 29th, 2009 at 11:24 am Sabreena Says:

    I think it is beautiful and should be exposed as often as possible. The C sections weren’t too bad but I am still kind of a wuss about pain. I really want a small tattoo on my foot. Does it hurt very badly in that area? I’ve heard anywhere bony will end in pain.

  189. On December 29th, 2009 at 11:35 am excavator Says:

    Beautiful now, glorious when the color is added. I love the phoenix.

  190. On December 29th, 2009 at 11:28 pm Painted Maypole Says:

    it’s beautiful but… ouch. i am way too wimpy for a tat.

  191. On December 30th, 2009 at 7:51 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It was shockingly not as painful as it looks.

  192. On December 30th, 2009 at 9:14 am SciFi Dad Says:

    That is pure awesome. PURE.

  193. On December 30th, 2009 at 11:01 am MamaSkates Says:

    OMG, i LOVE LOVE LOVE it! can’t wait to see the finished product!!!

  194. On December 30th, 2009 at 8:19 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Thank you! I’m so very excited.

  195. On December 30th, 2009 at 1:16 pm kys Says:

    Luvs it. I can’t wait to see it all colored in. Too bad you can’t bedazzle it, too.

    Congrats on the new gig. I’m going to have to make a special Aunt Becky folder for all your haunts. I can’t keep up with your prolific ass. (That sounded gross. Sorry.)

  196. On December 30th, 2009 at 2:03 pm Zakary Says:

    Just when I thought you couldn’t get any cooler…

    LOVE the tat.

  197. On December 30th, 2009 at 10:20 pm Alicia @bethsix Says:

    Gorgeous. It’s perfect. I really really really want another, but there is no money or time, and I hear I’m supposed to wait until I’m not breastfeeding. Fucking BABIES and their “needs.” Give me a few months, though, and I’m right there with you.

  198. On December 30th, 2009 at 10:34 pm amber Says:

    That rocks. And go you with all the freelance gigs. That rocks too. Wow, I’m eloquent tonight…

  199. On December 31st, 2009 at 12:45 am Courtney K. Says:

    That is so effing awesome Becky! I heart tattoos as well and am planning on getting another one very soon! Merry belated Christmas, and Happy 2010!

  200. On January 1st, 2010 at 10:12 pm Gunfighter Says:

    Awesome, babe!

    I am going for tattoo #5 in February… and number 6 before spring!

    #addictedtoink

  201. On January 3rd, 2010 at 9:26 pm mumma boo Says:

    Gorgeous! 23 days until color, baby! You should incorporate that image into your business logo somehow.

  202. On January 4th, 2010 at 1:58 pm Suzy Voices Says:

    OMG!! This is so awesome!!!! I can’t wait to see the color!!! Want me to come hold your hand?

  203. On January 5th, 2010 at 6:00 pm Amy! Says:

    Gorgeous!! I LOVE tattoos, especially brightly colored ones, and I know that will end up being (EVEN MORE) amazing!

    I’m totally jealous and really want to get another one now.

  204. On July 29th, 2011 at 7:46 pm Jen Says:

    I love it! Was thinking about getting an abstract phoenix myself.

    Can you post a pic of it colored? ^_^

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