Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Block.

April14

garden-gnome

I have a zillion things to say and I’ve sat here, fingers at the ready and still, nothing comes out. Hope to be back to myself again tomorrow. Until then, pull up a vodka, sit down next to Your Aunt Becky and tell her what’s going on with YOU, Pranksters.

posted under Bob Ross Is My BFF
67 Comments to

“Block.”

  1. On April 14th, 2011 at 12:28 pm Andie Says:

    Bought a car!

  2. On April 14th, 2011 at 12:28 pm Stacey Says:

    I hear you. That’s why my blog has sat for four months with no new posts. :/ While reading your blogs and others should be inspiring, it simply leaves me with a “I’ll never be that good” feeling.

    But? I got shiny new appliances for cooking, so if nothing else, that’s given me a much needed push in the inspiration department.

  3. On April 14th, 2011 at 12:32 pm Rachel Says:

    Hi there! New twitter follower, here! I feel ya on this. I’m a bloggy girl too, and it’s hard to find material every single day. That’s usually when I post dialogue… there seems to always been funny dialogue to share, and it’s quick to post!

    Hope something inspires you soon! Would love for you to check out my blog at UpperBottom.com. You’ll see that I was scraping for material yesterday!

    Cheers! (almost Friday)

  4. On April 14th, 2011 at 12:34 pm Rachel Says:

    Hey!! I just saw on your “about” that you’re interested in single-stranded RNA viruses! That may be a joke, but if you’re serious, we have a lot in common because I work as a virologist. Ha!

  5. On April 14th, 2011 at 12:35 pm Kristin (MamaKK922) Says:

    I hate the Block it sucks. I get it quite frequently it’s why most of the time I write jibberish. But it makes me happy and that is all that counts.

  6. On April 14th, 2011 at 12:58 pm little big Says:

    I totes quit my job. Or at least, I told them I’m going to come June.

  7. On April 14th, 2011 at 1:02 pm txjennk Says:

    I just wrote a super heavy blog post that I think I’ve needed to write for about a month. Finally got to where I could. On the positive side had the funniest conversation with my granddaughter ever last night. Girls got my number.

  8. On April 14th, 2011 at 1:04 pm Bashtree Says:

    My birthday is Sunday! Oh, and we owe $9000 in taxes.

  9. On April 14th, 2011 at 1:16 pm Jessica B Says:

    No worries Aunt B… you’re entitled to a day off I think. But I do miss ya. 🙂

  10. On April 14th, 2011 at 1:17 pm Sdiggity5 Says:

    Wouldn’t be awesome to own a paintball gun just so you could use it to let people know when they are either annoying or acting like an idiot? The best part is that they would never suspect it from the mini-van driving mama!
    It’s a ‘wish I had a paintball gun’ kinda day.

  11. On April 15th, 2011 at 10:08 am JenniferB Says:

    I have always said that cars should come with paintball guns so that others would know who the real dipwads were – they’d be covered in paint. Then we could try to steer clear of them. They might still be oblivious and think that the world was out to get them, but at least the rest of us would be clued in. 🙂

  12. On April 15th, 2011 at 10:08 am JenniferB Says:

    I have always said that cars should come with paintball guns so that others would know who the real dipwads were – they’d be covered in paint. Then we could try to steer clear of them. They might still be oblivious and think that the world was out to get them, but at least the rest of us would be clued in. 🙂

  13. On April 14th, 2011 at 1:34 pm Caroline Says:

    What’s going on over at casa de diatribes is I’m dealing w/ a mental block of crap like you. But I realize that my writers block is due to to worrying about a friend who was just diagnosed with cancer. I know I should write about it and exorcise those demons, but I don’t want to cry while my Kiddo is still awake.

  14. On April 14th, 2011 at 1:43 pm Rebecca Says:

    I’m dealing with a very stinky spica cast on my not yet potty trained almost four year old son who will remian in the said spica cast for another TEN WEEKS. And dealing with the stupid wheelchair that we are paying nearly $100 to rent that does not meet his nor MY needs. I’m dealing with all kinda crazy up in my brain right now for various different reasons.

  15. On April 14th, 2011 at 2:03 pm Joker_SATX Says:

    I have some new Internet Digs…..

  16. On April 14th, 2011 at 2:05 pm Anna Says:

    Um.. going to Kansas City tomorrow to meet up with a dear friend that moved to South-freaking-Carolina a year ago. And we paid our taxes.

  17. On April 14th, 2011 at 2:06 pm Shiree Says:

    Wow, my stuff isn’t nearly as heavy as some of the others…I’ve got Bookeepers Block. Not only are my taxes due, but the company’s taxes are due the end of the month as I can’t my shit together enough to sit down, concentrate and power through the piles of paperwork on my desk.

  18. On April 14th, 2011 at 10:04 pm Wendy Thomas Says:

    I don’t know if it helps, but you can also file for an extension instead of actually filing the taxes. It’s a simple one form and has to be postmarked by tomorrow.

  19. On April 14th, 2011 at 2:14 pm Kizz Says:

    I turned my cube farm job into a dining room table job today. Working from home to minimize my interaction with people. I’m kind of sick of people. Turns out my office mates today are just as mouthy but they shut it if I keep the dog biscuits coming.

  20. On April 14th, 2011 at 2:20 pm Meg Says:

    Super busy at work today, trying to explain things to another office for the sixty kazillionth time. I have decided to try a new strategy at work…just smile, nod, and be little miss bubbley sunshine. I seem to be scaring a couple co-workers :-/

    But it is almost Friday and the sun is shinning and I have a long weekend coming, so life is good.

    Hope your day is going well Aunt Becky (bloggers block aside) 🙂

  21. On April 14th, 2011 at 2:35 pm Mary B Says:

    Your gnome frightens me. I’m also fighting off the urge to take a nap. Now I’m sure your life feels absolutely dazzling compared to mine.

  22. On April 14th, 2011 at 2:42 pm Johi Says:

    I have the same tiny gnome, and often the same problem with the blockage. Peace out.

  23. On April 14th, 2011 at 2:56 pm Chris in PHX Says:

    A week long argument with the other half FINALLY ended last night. And the making up part was fantastic. Oh, and my dog is a total jack-ass and he knows it.

  24. On April 14th, 2011 at 3:05 pm MommyLisa Says:

    I just bought a gnome in the dollar bin at Target. He is all green and standing…

  25. On April 14th, 2011 at 3:24 pm ColinP Says:

    I found out today that the dental hygienist I have been seeing for almost 6 years died unexpectedly. It was a bit of a shock as she was healthy as a horse when I last saw her 6 months ago.

  26. On April 14th, 2011 at 3:40 pm Gamanda Says:

    I accidentally paid my company’s $7,382.00 credit card bill out of my own personal account. So, that’s awesome.

  27. On April 14th, 2011 at 7:09 pm Babbalou Says:

    You know that would be hilarious except I suppose you have other things to spend your money on! But I’m sure your company is extremely appreciative!

  28. On April 14th, 2011 at 9:58 pm Wendy Thomas Says:

    The good news is apparently it worked? My bank would spontaneously implode if I tried to do that.

  29. On April 14th, 2011 at 3:42 pm Sue J. Says:

    You know it’s because of the gnome you’re blocked, right?

  30. On April 14th, 2011 at 4:20 pm The Mommy Therapy Says:

    Ugh, writers block blows! I sat in front of my computer for an hour last night before I could even start writing my post about making Greek Salad. It is as interesting as it sounds! There are about a million sidenotes and made up thoughts.

    Right now I’m watching my 10 month old push a little car across our backyard and the pure pride and joy is all over her face. It’s pretty sweet.

    I am also making chilling sangria and white wine for a girl’s night I’m having here for a friend that sells cool stuff to raise money for adoptions. http://www.noondaycollection.com. I mostly look foward to the drinking part.

    Hope you find your words soon…but we can be patient!

  31. On April 14th, 2011 at 4:38 pm amy d Says:

    I hate my job. My husband’s job has him out of town 2-4 nights out of the week. And I’m 5 months pregnant and juggling a two 1/2 year old.

    Tired Aunt Becky, tired. Boy, being a grown up sure is fun;)

  32. On April 14th, 2011 at 4:48 pm Kate Says:

    I broke bedrest to go grocery shopping today… and had contractions the whole time.
    Guh, Can’t win.

  33. On April 14th, 2011 at 4:53 pm Kelly Says:

    I just for the first time noticed the “It replies to the comment of it gets the hose again.”

    I cannot stop laughing now….

  34. On April 14th, 2011 at 5:17 pm katrina Says:

    Blocks are just something to stand on, you know. I went to hear a favorite band with my 22 year old duaghter on saturday. It was 2 hrs. away,…we left at 6pm and returned at 5:30am!! woo hoo! overheard in line: “if i looked up stupid in the dictionary, it would have your picture there” response: “i’m not the one using a picture dictionary…” I hope you jump off that block soon, becky!

  35. On April 14th, 2011 at 5:19 pm katrina Says:

    i really can spell daughter, just not on thursdays….

  36. On April 15th, 2011 at 1:34 am Jenn Says:

    What’s scary is not having noticed the error until you pointed it out!

  37. On April 14th, 2011 at 6:11 pm Lori Says:

    That is hilarious!

  38. On April 14th, 2011 at 5:48 pm Yvonne! Says:

    Making beef and broccoli for dinner. I was attacked by a wasp and almost set the stove on fire boiling water. This shit better be de-fucking-licious.

  39. On April 14th, 2011 at 5:59 pm kittyn Says:

    My heads a mess (more than usual).

    I’m making pulled pork (YUM!).

    The baby has a cold so is wanting to nurse constantly. Oh, and she bit the left nipple about a week ago, making this whole “I NEED MOMMY BOOBS!” thing even worse.

    On the plus side, th husband picked up Settlers of Catan and Sid Meier’s Civilization (board games) earlier this week, so we have new distractions (that kept me up til like 5:30 AM).

    And I use paentheses to damned much.

    Anyone feel like throwing a bottle of something (vodka works, but would rather it be rum or SoCo) to Indiana?

    Hope you have a god day Aunt Becky, and are back to amusing me during marathon nursing sessions tommorow 🙂

  40. On April 14th, 2011 at 6:01 pm kittyn Says:

    There are typos. I’m sorry. But there are to many to bother fixing, because I am lazy and unmotivated. I shall attempt to proof read better in the future.

  41. On April 14th, 2011 at 7:18 pm Babbalou Says:

    Maybe not lazy and unmotivated but simply sleep deprived! I have such good memories of the times when my boys were babies, including coming home from running errands all day to discover I had my shirt on inside out. Also running into my doctor while carrying the baby in a snuggly because I was carrying a case of beer in the stroller. Ahem, we each drank exactly one bottle each evening (husband and I – not baby and I) ….but I admit it looked questionnable!

  42. On April 14th, 2011 at 8:15 pm kittyn Says:

    beautiful!

  43. On April 14th, 2011 at 8:55 pm mel Says:

    it would look worse if you had the beer in the snuggly…

  44. On April 14th, 2011 at 7:06 pm Krissa Says:

    Gnomes scare me. I will be having nightmares tonight.
    Please understand I am saying “Ga-nomes”. Little fuckers don’t deserve proper pronunciation.

  45. On April 14th, 2011 at 7:07 pm natalie Says:

    New reader here… Weird way to introduce myself, but today I had a shitty day at work, and while reading the other comments, realized I forgot to file my state taxes. On the upside, I’m into the 150s today!

    Hope your block goes away soon.

  46. On April 14th, 2011 at 7:19 pm KaraB Says:

    Well, my husband and I just decided to seriously start looking for an actual, real, adult house and I gotta say, it’s scary as hell.

  47. On April 14th, 2011 at 7:55 pm A Field of Dreams Says:

    I have bloggers block too. Ho hum. I’m sitting here at work, bored, nusrsing a sore tummy from last night vomit and diarrohea marathon. Well you wanted to know….

  48. On April 14th, 2011 at 8:27 pm Calypso Says:

    I sit here with everything I could ever want. I have the house, the husband, the child, friends, and yet… I am still… alone.

  49. On April 14th, 2011 at 9:54 pm Wendy Thomas Says:

    Three algebra quizzes tonight and a test tomorrow. Oh, and my boyfriend hasn’t spoken to me in 4 days and I don’t know why or what it’s supposed to mean. He said he needs to “just deal with his own problems right now.” Um. Wtf asshole?

  50. On April 14th, 2011 at 10:01 pm Wendy Thomas Says:

    Ok. Seriously? It doesn’t show my comment, and when I try to do it again it says it’s a duplicate. So… I’ll just add it here and if it shows up twice just understand I’m REALLY distracted right now.

    Three algebra quizzes tonight and a test tomorrow. Oh, and my boyfriend hasn’t spoken to me in 4 days and I don’t know why or what it’s supposed to mean. He said he needs to “just deal with his own problems right now.” Um. Wtf asshole?

  51. On April 14th, 2011 at 10:43 pm Catfish Says:

    I feel like the naughty grin on that gnome makes up for any blocks.

    I’ve been indulging in an orgy of new Thursday night TV (vampire diaries, community, parks & rec) and drinking gin & tonics. Why not celebrate the existence of Thursday?

  52. On April 14th, 2011 at 10:55 pm karen Says:

    I had a fairly innocent comment go viral on my ass today in FB … Here’s what I posted:

    The grade two class was apparently told to say prayers with the teacher for the playoffs [hockey]. Um … not sure how I feel about this, I mean, I didn’t put them in Catholic school for a reason. And IF I was a praying person I’d probably be praying that the season is a short one as it interferes with regularly scheduled life.

    Bwa ha ha ha ha!

    the count is 72 comments, many of them paragraphs long, some pretty intense conversations, and one baited hook who caught an innocent in her trap and got a response for something off topic. Hilarity! I’m still abuzz.

    In other news, it be snowing here on the west coast today. Brrrr …

  53. On April 14th, 2011 at 11:00 pm JenC Says:

    I fell off a kitchen chair trying to reach a high shelf. Ruptured my spleen in the process. Oh it’s been a fun week Aunt Becky.

  54. On April 14th, 2011 at 11:17 pm Eliza Says:

    Greetings from the Land of Orchids –

    Sharing a bit of astrology – and who knows your or any prankster’s POV on it so I am out on a limb on this – Mercury is retrograde. Can create blocks in communications and scramble other bits of life we take for granted – like spelling!! Will go ‘direct’ in the evening on the 22nd and normalcy may return over the weekend.

    Remedy? Yup, have a cocktail, take a shower or bath (water helps ideas flow) and allow the world to flow on by. Ideas do bloom like seeds after preparing the ground. Just like your orchids.

    Feed yourself well, AB. Aloha ~

  55. On April 15th, 2011 at 1:26 am Jenn Says:

    For starters your Gnome looks like he needs the loo!
    Give the guy a gap.

    How’s your Milly doing? How are the boys (all three)? I’m also blank. My blog is whispering at me to SHINE UP AND WRITE, YOU BUGGER!

  56. On April 15th, 2011 at 2:53 am Penbleth Says:

    I have a spare day because I thought my youngest was breaking up (from school but it sounds funnier that way) yesterday but it seems it is today, so free day.

  57. On April 15th, 2011 at 7:19 am Sarah S Says:

    My husband is going to be unemployed starting on Tuesday and I hurt my hip. This is week is less than the awesome.

  58. On April 15th, 2011 at 12:15 pm Wombat Central Says:

    Trying to concoct ways to keep the sparrows AND starlings from building nests in our awning. Read up on them, and it turns out those little sparrow bastards love their their nesting site more than they love their mate. They live for building in my effing awning, since they’ve been coming back every year for 5+ years. Now the starlings are having a turf war with them and they’re building at the other end of the awning. It’s like low income condos for rent over here on our deck. Good times. Thanks for asking.

  59. On April 15th, 2011 at 5:13 pm Rich Dellinger Says:

    You get more comments by showing a gnome than I do when I actually write something, ya know, with thoughts and words and stuff. Wait, that’s not a picture of your kid is it? (embarrassed) My bad.

  60. On April 16th, 2011 at 10:33 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Everyone knows thoughts are bullshit.

  61. On April 15th, 2011 at 7:19 pm Kristin Says:

    This is probably one of those things that’s been to the end of the interwebs and back I’m the last to know, but it’s full of The Awesome and how I spent my last few hilarious minutes.

    http://selleckwaterfallsandwich.tumblr.com/

  62. On April 16th, 2011 at 7:17 am Kristi Says:

    My oldest, a five year old rock star, had minor surgery. She’s not happy with her meds or the big ole six inch square patch of tape on her stomach. So I declared the day a nutrition free zone and have been letting all three wee monsters sit on the couch, eat whatever will get my kid to eat so I can give her meds and watch tv all day so she’ll stay calm. Makes for a grumpy, cranky bunch of kids by four o’clock. And don’t feel bad about the blog- I started language full time in August and have managed three posts since then. Yes, this gin and tonic is helping, thankyouverymuch.

  63. On April 16th, 2011 at 10:21 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Oh gin. How I love gin. How I want a gin and tonic RIGHT NOW.

  64. On April 16th, 2011 at 10:14 am Kyddryn Says:

    My life is falling apart. If I didn’t have two kids to think about, I’d drive my fucking van into a bridge abutment. No one else gives a damn and I’m tired of constantly struggling to get shit right and failing. Thank you for asking.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (aka: Mary Fucking Sunshine)

  65. On April 16th, 2011 at 10:20 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Aw, I’m sorry, K. Loves you.

  66. On April 16th, 2011 at 6:01 pm Tara Says:

    I’m pretty sure that pic of your garden gnome gave me nightmares last night. So, thanks.

  67. On April 20th, 2011 at 2:27 pm Jayme Says:

    My cancer baby got a clean bill of health at the oncologist yesterday and his eye specialist today!

Email will not be published

Website example

Your Comment:

My site was nominated for Best Humor Blog!
My site was nominated for Hottest Mommy Blogger!
Back By Popular Demand...