Mommy Wants Vodka

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And Now You Are Three


Dear Amelia,

You were born, January 28, 2009, amid the whirring and clicking of the NICU team, over my frantic wails, and my doctor’s shouts of “GET THE NICU IN HERE STAT,” a whopper of a baby. Your rolls had rolls, making you look like a mini Stay Puft Marshmallow Baby. I longed, from my place on the bed where I lay weeping, to examine every one of those rolls. There’s nothing I love more than a brand new roly-poly, chubby cheeked, shit machine.

(you, post surgery)

But it wasn’t so simple, was it?

Amelia, you were born with a defect on your head. Right after you were born, it seemed as though it was probably a cosmetic issue, a benign cyst upon your wee head. The alternative, I knew from years of medical and nursing training, was a big. fucking. deal. indeed.

Guess which one you had?

My daughter, you are always the overachiever.

We had about twelve hours between birth and diagnosis in which we feverishly hoped that it was a boring cyst – your daddy and I and your Internet Aunts and Uncles hoped and prayed that you would be okay. It was only after your first CT Scan (I have to note that there is NO heading in your baby book for “Baby’s First CT Scan” which makes me think those baby book people have it ALL WRONG)(Okay, you don’t have a baby book. I really WISH you did, but you don’t)(sorry kiddo) that we learned that you were more of an overachiever than your mother.

It took hours to talk to a doctor that day, but when we did, the news wasn’t good. You’d already been ripped away from me and whisked off to the NICU, leaving your daddy and I to howl in sadness in our now-empty room. Your dad had tracked down your neurologist and was told that you had a neural tube defect. An encephalocele. You would need major neurosurgery and soon.

Amelia, why did you have to be such an overachiever?

It was there in the NICU that you were given your middle name – Grace. For you, in the face of all this adversity, showed me what grace looked like. Your father, he named you there.

The diagnosis left the future full of question marks (and you with a scar that neatly bisects the back of your head). Would you be normal? Would you survive? Would you learn as your brothers had?

The answer has always been a resounding *shrugs*

See most kids, my tiny overachiever, who have neural tube defects in the location that you did, do not survive. Most die before or after birth. Such a small handful of children with posterior encephaloceles survive that there is almost no data about them.

You are not only a million dollar baby, but a one in a million child.

For you are easily the smartest of my three very smart children. The connections you make between things. The way you understand concepts that puzzle most adults, that is nothing short of a miracle.

You are nothing short of a miracle.

In your short years, Amelia, you have done more good than any three-year old should be capable of. While your birth shattered me, you’ve helped assemble me back into a new person; a better person. You have given hope to people who have never met you, hope for parents whose children have the very same diagnosis – encephalocele – that you do.

You are the sole reason that Band Back Together exists. Through The Band, you have saved lives – actual lives.

That is nothing short of a miracle.

So to you, on the day before your third birthday, my darling girl, I want to thank you. For all you have given me. For the light you’ve bestowed upon the world, and your light – a light that continues to shine.

May your light always shine brightly, Amelia Grace.




posted under Abby Normal
83 Comments to

“And Now You Are Three”

  1. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:03 am Kathy Says:

    Happy Birthday, sweet miracle daughter of mine from a different womb. You are amazing and have brought so much good into the world.

  2. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:04 am By Word of Mouth Musings Says:

    Happy birthday to your little miracle …. in spite of all that you went thro, you came out stronger and wiser dear Aunt Becky – and then, you changed the world for others.
    What a brilliant pair you are!

  3. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:05 am Shana Says:

    Such a wonderful post! *HUGS* Happy birthday Mimi!

  4. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:07 am Amy Says:

    Aw, have a happy birthday Miss Amelia! The internets loves you and your mommy. You are a beautiful example of triumph and strength over the seemingly impossible.

  5. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:11 am sashalyn Says:

    Happy birthday, Mimi. Shine on.

  6. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:11 am Ms Dreamer Says:

    Happy birthday to my awesome Internet niece Amelia Grace. One day, you will rule the world and I can’t wait to see it.

    Bex, you’ve done well – keep doing it. We’ll hold you up.


  7. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:11 am Mayor Gia Says:

    Awww happy birthday to Amelia!! What a beautiful letter to her

  8. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:12 am ArykanotErika Says:

    Mimi, I hope your mommy saves and shows you all the love that so many people have for you, the love that you have brought to others and the bonds that you made. You made the Band and babygirl you look AMAZING for a 3 year old that birthed a movement, created change, kicked stigmas life, brought light to the dark. YOU are glitter and unicorns and cupcakes and bacon, all wrapped up in one curly package. Your mama aint too bad either. I love you both madly. Happy Birthday darling girl !

  9. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:14 am Erin Says:

    And now I’m crying. Happy Birthday, Princess Mimi! You are loved far and wide!

  10. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:14 am IWantThursdays Says:

    (I will not cry at work. I will not cry at work.)

    Beautiful, uplifting post. Happy birthday, kiddo.

  11. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:14 am Jayne Says:

    Thank you Amelia. And thank you to your mommy. BBT has been such a resource and support to me, I’m forever grateful. Your story gives me hope that maybe the child I fear I’m going to lose will make it into this world after all.

    Happy Birthday, sweet girl.

  12. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:19 am Melissa Says:

    Ah Amelia, Happy Birthday to the miracle girl

  13. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:21 am leigh Says:

    happy birthday darling girl.

  14. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:22 am toywithme Says:

    Her story is as remarkable as her mother is.

    Through your own overachieving ways (The Band) countless parents and children have been able to share and support each other while battling incredible obstacles. You’re one Badass amazing woman Becky!! Mucho love to you.

    Have a wonderful birthday full of giggles and squeals of delight precious little Amelia!

  15. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:23 am Heather P Says:

    Just reading this, I know the Lord has his hand on this precious child. She will conquer the world!

  16. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:29 am Brett Minor Says:

    Happy birthday to her. Amazing post.

  17. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:35 am Teala Says:

    Happy Birthday, Amelia! Big Three!

    AB, I can’t wait to meet you and your little force of nature.

    Also, you made me cry happy tears.

  18. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:40 am Tricia Says:

    You weren’t kidding about needing tissues. What a beautiful letter to a beautiful girl! Happy birthday Amelia 🙂

  19. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:48 am Bren Says:

    Holy shit – that knocked me on my tear filled face! What a GORGEOUS love letter to a fabulous, delicious, wondrous little love. Now THAT post you should save for her non-existent baby book! (And it’s never too late to do one, you know! Mine’s 14 and I am still working on his toddler years – what I can remember…..)

  20. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:53 am Live.Love.Random. Says:

    Happy birthday!!! this was definitely a tear jerker!!! From one mommy to the other : Congrats one her achievements! May she live a long awesome life full of awesomeness!


  21. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:54 am CathiC Says:

    Happy Birthday, sweet Mimi! You are indeed so very special to so many of us. Love you, darling girl!

    Beautiful post, Becky. I’m choking back tears here. Loves you, woman.

  22. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:55 am LDiggitty Says:

    God damn it, Becky! Now I’m crying at work.

    So sweet though… Amelia’s a little beauty and she’s an amazing little person with a mom like you!

  23. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:56 am Jay Says:

    Happy birthday, beautiful Miss Amelia.

  24. On January 27th, 2012 at 11:59 am Titanium Says:

    Happiest of happy BIRTHDAYs to Amelia Grace! And big, big internet hugz to her amazing mom.

  25. On January 27th, 2012 at 12:03 pm Kristin (MamaKK922) Says:

    Sobbing that was so beautiful. And Amelia and you are both so very amazing. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMELIA!!!

  26. On January 27th, 2012 at 12:24 pm thepsychobabble Says:

    Now I’m crying again.
    Happy birthday mimi.

  27. On January 27th, 2012 at 12:26 pm Linda Sand Says:

    Amelia may not become the first female president of our world but she will be the BEST one. After all, she takes after her mom when it comes to achieving.

  28. On January 27th, 2012 at 12:27 pm electriclady Says:

    So beautiful. (The post, and the girl.) She really is a miracle.

  29. On January 27th, 2012 at 12:29 pm TheBigO621 Says:

    Although we are all individuals and special in our own way, Amelia certainly is a little more special and amazing than the rest of us. HAPPY BIRTHDAY cutie! You are so lucky to have a wonderful family who loves you and a whole internet family who loves you, too.

  30. On January 27th, 2012 at 12:31 pm Mommaexpat Says:

    Thank you for sharing this. Happy birthday Amelia, you overachiever you!

  31. On January 27th, 2012 at 12:37 pm Rich Says:

    I’ll use your own words. ” For the light you’ve bestowed upon the world, and your light – a light that continues to shine.”

    “May your light always shine brightly.”

    It’s clear she was made in your image. Strong, smart, and a fighter. Attributes like that have to come from somewhere…you. When she was born there’s no doubt a sepcial light was set upon the earth, but I think all of us would agree the same applies to the day you were born…our Aunt Becky. So not only is the world brighter because of her, but twice as bright because of you! Both of you will never know the true extent of the good that has happened because of her birth.

    “While we try to teach our children all about life…our children teach us what life is all about.” – Angela Schwindt

    May she walk in your footsteps, shining her light along the way…knowing her family is of the millions. Happy birthday Amelia! And to you AB, Happy Birth!

  32. On January 27th, 2012 at 12:40 pm Just Me Says:

    What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful little girl. 🙂

  33. On January 27th, 2012 at 12:44 pm Weekly Joy Says:

    Why you gotta make me cry? A touching and beautiful story of triumph over all odds…I’m a sucker for a happy ending and for doing things that people say you can’t- go Amelia! Keep conquering the world you precious little biscuit!

  34. On January 27th, 2012 at 12:56 pm PishPosh Says:

    Oh my god, beautiful child! I’m so sorry you all have to go through such heartache, but am grateful you share her story with us. My brother struggles with muscular dystrophy and when I think of how unfair it is that children have hardships, I almost can’t bear it.

    Happy Birthday Amelia, thank you for shining your light on us!

  35. On January 27th, 2012 at 12:57 pm Mrs. One Day Says:

    If you wanted to make me cry, mission accomplished! Seriously though, she is a miracle and a blessing to everyone associated with you and BB2G. I think of Amelia when my own pain seems to be too much to bear or when I feel like hiding in a corner. She fought her way through something far worse than what I’m going through. She inspires me to keep fighting. She inspires me to help others. She inspires me to be stronger.

    Thank you, Amelia and happy birthday. I’m so glad you’re here.

  36. On January 27th, 2012 at 1:18 pm Sue at Naperville Now Says:

    killer post, AB.
    mwah to you both.

  37. On January 27th, 2012 at 1:30 pm Caro Says:

    Happy tears and shivers! Beautiful post Becky!

  38. On January 27th, 2012 at 1:50 pm Jenn Says:

    Happy Birthday Amelia Grace! You are a very beautiful little girl!

  39. On January 27th, 2012 at 1:54 pm Grace Says:

    Pass the tissues.

    Oh, beautiful girl. I can’t wait to come visit you and your sweet momma in real life. I hope you don’t mind when I scoop you up and give you a huge hug! Happy Birthday Mimi!

  40. On January 27th, 2012 at 1:55 pm Irene Says:

    Best wishes to two amazing women!

  41. On January 27th, 2012 at 2:02 pm Coco Rogers Says:

    A tribute befitting the Princess of the Realm, indeed. Happy third birthday to your miracle Cinnamon Girl.

    Much love to you both.

  42. On January 27th, 2012 at 2:04 pm Jeans Y Says:

    Beautiful post, even more beautiful daughter 🙂

  43. On January 27th, 2012 at 2:43 pm Lindsey Says:

    Happy Birthday to your little nugget. This is such a beautiful letter, and I know she will love it.

  44. On January 27th, 2012 at 2:51 pm Txtingmrdarcy Says:

    Happy Birthday, Mimi! You are such a lucky and beautiful girl… and thanks to your Mommy you have tons of admirers from afar. Keep defying the odds, little one. 🙂

  45. On January 27th, 2012 at 2:56 pm Chrys Says:

    Damn, yo, here I am trying to get through lunch- all while grumbling about my 3 year old twins being.. well, 3 year olds and BAM! This post. Happy Birthday to your little miracle, you’re both so inspiring and you help to put stuff in perspective, for a lot of us, I think. Have a wonderful birthday with your angel! 🙂


  46. On January 27th, 2012 at 3:30 pm Pandora Nervosa Says:

    Happy Birthday, Amelia! You are quite the little fighter and an inspiration to us all! Your mommy and daddy are very lucky to have such a brave, smart and beautiful little one such as yourself. You keep on doing what you do best…being awesome and keeping those big brothers of yours in line! Much love from another Chicago Suburbanite!

  47. On January 27th, 2012 at 3:38 pm Triplezmom Says:

    Can’t type well because I am crying. Happy birthday, beautiful Amelia! In case you hadn’t noticed yet, you have one hell of a mom.

  48. On January 27th, 2012 at 3:48 pm Marian Allen Says:

    Happy birthday, precious Miracle Girl!

    Mommy’s friend

  49. On January 27th, 2012 at 3:55 pm Rachel Says:

    Crying. Happy 3rd Birthday Sweet Girl.
    Thank you and your Mommy for BBT..
    I may just be one of those lives you have helped save.
    You are an amazing little girl with an amazing Mommy!

  50. On January 27th, 2012 at 4:03 pm KJ Collard Says:

    Bawling happy tears. In the middle of my cube, praying no one walks in.
    YAY YOU, Amelia Grace!!!! You’ve kicked butt before you could take names.
    YAY YOU, Aunt Becky!!!! You are a fearless charger into the unknown and give others courage from your travels.

    Love love love to the fam.

  51. On January 27th, 2012 at 4:05 pm Cate Says:

    I may not get the chance to say this tomorrow (or be able to do so without crying), but thank you, Amelia Grace, for being so strong and brave for ALL of us. The world is a more beautiful place with you in it, obvi, and you have no idea how many lives you’ve already touched/saved. Least of which is mine, but I thank you for saving it nonetheless. Happy birthday, you amazing little rocket, you!

  52. On January 27th, 2012 at 4:17 pm Pamela Says:

    Oh, and there are the tears. Happy birthday sweet Mimi! You are a blessing in this world (and I’ll tell you a secret, your momma is too!).

  53. On January 27th, 2012 at 4:22 pm Kristin (@atyourcervix78) Says:

    Aunt Becky,
    Thank you so much. I’ve told you this before, but I want you to know that your baby girl, and The Band she influenced are super close to my heart. If it weren’t for her amazing overachieverhood, I would be dead. Yes, I am one of those actual, real life people that Mimi has saved. Bella loves Mimi, and she doesn’t know why, but she just knows how special that little girl is to me. Things happen and people happen for a reason. Your amazing strength and courage in the face of the unknown with YOUR CHILD (and we all know you don’t fuck with the kids) has made you an inspiration to so many. And to take what uncertainty, doubt, guilt, and all the shit PTSD takes away from you and use it to give? Give life, and hope, and comfort, and just the knowing that we’re not alone in all this mess, well, you’re just admirable. I love you!!! Give Amelia big hugs and kisses from me and Bella. Now that I’m a snotty, crying, tear-stained mess, that is all.
    Love yous!!

  54. On January 27th, 2012 at 4:47 pm Gwen Says:

    Happy Birthday Mimi, you are one of the reasons that I believe in hope and miracles. I hope you are loving your pink bedroom on your BIG Three birthday 🙂

  55. On January 27th, 2012 at 5:19 pm PBP Designs Says:

    Happy Happy Birthday miss Amelia. Have a great birthday celebration tomorrow with the Band.


  56. On January 27th, 2012 at 5:37 pm Mommabird2345 Says:

    What a beautiful letter. Happy Birthday to your Rock Star Mimi!!!! May she have a wonderful day.

  57. On January 27th, 2012 at 5:40 pm Pam @writewrds Says:

    Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. What a gift.

    Thanks for sharing. : )

  58. On January 27th, 2012 at 5:54 pm Nellie Vaughn Says:

    Aww, thank you for this story. Happy birthday to the cute miracle babe.

  59. On January 27th, 2012 at 5:54 pm Deb Menard Says:

    The tears, they are a flowing my dearest Becky. Much love to you all. And Mimi, the happiest of happy birthdays to you my darling girl. You have made us all fall in love with you from the moment you first graced this blog.

  60. On January 27th, 2012 at 6:14 pm JTook Says:

    Happy Birthday, Mimi, you princess of the bells.

  61. On January 27th, 2012 at 6:50 pm Joules Says:

    HBD Mims, party like the little badass princess you are!

  62. On January 27th, 2012 at 7:03 pm Clip Snark Says:

    An inspiring and beautiful post.

  63. On January 27th, 2012 at 7:39 pm Daddy Scratches Says:

    Great, just what I want to be doing on a Friday night: Sitting here crying. Thanks a lot!

    Beautiful post. I’m glad you had a miracle.

  64. On January 27th, 2012 at 8:28 pm Andrea Says:

    Have a wonderful birthday in candyland beautiful girl (and beautiful mommy)!

  65. On January 27th, 2012 at 8:45 pm JMomma Says:

    Happy birthday Mimi! love you, Aunt Becky.

  66. On January 27th, 2012 at 8:48 pm Chibi Jeebs Says:

    Love you, dear heart. Happy birthday, Princess Mimi! Aunti Chibi loves you! <3

  67. On January 28th, 2012 at 12:24 am slammygrammie1 Says:

    happy birthday Dear Amelia,
    You truly are a inspiration to others’ and are a SURVIVOR too. Your parents are remarkable too and very lucky to have such a sweet child, to nuture and raise .
    I wish for you on your 3rd birthday, all good things, enjoy your special day with family and friends.
    thank you for sharing such an inspiring story with everyone.
    a Gramma from Hawaii

  68. On January 28th, 2012 at 8:44 am Fran Says:

    Happy Birthday Amelia! Thank you for making our Aunt Becky the person she is today

  69. On January 28th, 2012 at 10:04 am Kim at Let Me Start By Saying Says:

    She is a gift to all of us, every time she has a birthday.

  70. On January 28th, 2012 at 11:26 am Jenn Says:

    Beautiful post and a blessing of a day!

  71. On January 28th, 2012 at 12:30 pm katrina Says:

    Beautiful! just beautiful!…..little princess of the bells is 3! thank you for sharing her with us.

  72. On January 28th, 2012 at 1:03 pm Kristin Says:

    Happy Happy Birthday beautiful, miraculous Mimi!

  73. On January 28th, 2012 at 2:34 pm Dilovely Says:

    So beautiful. And what makes you think you don’t have a baby book?? THIS is the best baby book ever.

  74. On January 28th, 2012 at 4:10 pm Wombat Central Says:

    Happy birthday, sweet girl.

  75. On January 28th, 2012 at 7:57 pm habanerogal Says:

    Happy Birthday Miss Cinna-mimi you bring hope to so many through your mama’s voice. Keep being your awesome self !

  76. On January 28th, 2012 at 9:27 pm injaynesworld Says:

    She’s beautiful, Becky. And what a lovely birthday greeting.

  77. On January 29th, 2012 at 12:37 pm Pauline Says:

    Becky and Amelia, I don’t comment here often but today I had to. A miracle raised by a fighter. May you both have the most incredible year and enjoy your special day. Hugs to both of you. And thank you for sharing.

  78. On January 29th, 2012 at 2:37 pm Jennifer Says:

    What a beautiful little overachiever. Congratulations!

  79. On January 30th, 2012 at 7:34 am Amy Says:

    Oh Becky, that was so lovely. Congratulations on three years for both you and your Amelia. Happy Birthday Amelia!

  80. On January 30th, 2012 at 8:44 am Catherine Says:

    What a lovely tribute to your little miracle girl. Happy Birthday Amelia!

  81. On January 30th, 2012 at 10:41 am red Says:

    That is a beautiful letter to a beautiful daughter. I can say nothing more.
    I’m so glad to know this story of hope.

  82. On January 30th, 2012 at 2:54 pm chrisinphx Says:

    Happy Birthday little Mimi!

    Now, if you will excuse me this room is really dusty and has my eyes all waterey…shut your whore mouth, Im not crying damn it!

  83. On January 31st, 2012 at 8:16 pm Annie Says:

    Happy Birthday to a special young lady. What a wonderful miracle and beautiful words by her proud mom.

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